“But I…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. He laid it all on the table in perfectly clear terms. I didn’t know what to say. I considered saying that I was already taken by Jamie, but I didn’t want to set off an attempt at retribution or at worst get Jamie fired.
Charles leaned forward with pursed lips and a heavy-lidded gaze. I couldn’t think of anything that I could do at the moment that wouldn’t cause a wave of negative repercussions. I let him kiss me, but I didn’t kiss back.
That’s what Jamie saw. He was there at precisely the wrong moment. A flat, emotionless kiss was all that happened. Charles was unhappy with my reaction, but he told me, “I can be patient. Think about it, Angelo. We’ve got plenty of time.”
I returned to my desk deep in thought. Sexual harassment was on my mind as well as the difficulty of proving any of Charle’s transgressions. It would only be my word against his.
I shook my head, unable to figure out how to dispute Charles and get him away from me without something extremely unpleasant taking place between us first. I wondered if I could make myself unappealing to him. It was a vexing situation, but I thought there had to be a solution.
Pete stepped up to my cubicle. He said, “Hey, Angelo, are you free for lunch?”
As I turned to face him, Pete gasped. With an intensely defensive tone, I asked, “What?”
Pete backed up a step. “Whoa, man. Do you feel well? You’re seriously pale. Maybe you don’t need lunch. Going home might be a better option.”
I decided to accept Pete’s suggestion. After the encounter with Charles, I couldn’t stand the idea of being in the same building with him for the afternoon. I said, “Yeah, I’m feeling a little queasy. My stomach is a little sour and upset. I think I’ll finish out the morning, and then I’ll go home. Can I get a raincheck on lunch?”
“Oh, yeah. Queasy, huh? I’ve got some Pepto in my desk. Maybe that would help. You can still go home, but it can settle things long enough to get you there.”
I waved him off. “No, I’ll be fine. Thanks for thinking of me, though. You’re a good friend, Pete.”
I needed friends. I needed a whole crowd of them circling me in multiple rings, protecting me forever from executives like Charles. Then I smiled. I thought about Jamie. He was probably all of the protection I needed. One good man could take the place of the entire crowd.
I considered calling Jamie, but then I decided that I’d send him a text message when I left and ask if he could join me for dinner after the workday.
Unfortunately, that’s not the way it worked out. Somehow, the worst possible coincidence took place, and Jamie saw the kiss. From my side, it wasn’t a real kiss. It was all Charles’s effort, but I knew how it appeared. I knew that I’d failed to prevent a disaster. I didn’t stop Charles, and I didn’t protect my relationship with Jamie.
Rendered helpless by the shock of all that happened, I listened to Jamie, and I heard him rage. He wasn’t wrong to be upset. In the end, he uttered the one word that I hoped I wouldn’t hear. He said, “Goodbye.”
Somewhere deep inside, I knew that I should try to stop him, but I didn’t have the energy or the clarity of thought to do it. All that I could do was hang my head. I was both victim and perpetrator. My inability to protect myself failed to honor Jamie’s trust in me.
It was over. I watched him leave.
Somehow, I made it home safely in my car, but I’m not sure that I cared. I fell asleep lying crosswise on my bed and hoped either everything would be different when I woke up or the entire world would be gone.
It felt like only five minutes passed before I heard Tony’s voice as he shook my shoulder. “Hey, Angelo. What’s up? You don’t nap like this, and shouldn’t you be at work? Something’s weird.” He shook me again.
Slowly opening my eyes, I looked up into the familiar face that was always looking for an unusual way to present itself to the world. Tony had himself fixed up like a classic nerd. He wore black plastic-framed glasses and slicked his hair back from his forehead. At any other time, his latest creation would have made me smile.
I muttered, “I don’t feel well.”
“Sick? Tummy? Headache? Ma can fix you up.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think there’s anything in the world that can fix this. Ma can’t help.”
Tony raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me you’re dying because I won’t believe it. You need to go to the doctor to find out about that. What’s going on?”
“I can’t talk about it. It’s too much.”
“But you can feel it,” said Tony as he sat on the edge of the bed. He stared down at me lying flat on my back with a warm expression of concern.
I mumbled, “Yeah, I can, and you don’t want this to happen to you, Tony. You never want to have anything like it.”
Tony smiled at me and opened his arms. “Hug?”
“Do you promise that you’ll never let me go?”
“Brothers are forever. I won’t let you go for a million years.”
I sat up and wrapped my arms tight around my little brother. Then I wept.
23
Jamie
I received the news about the end of my project team from Blackmoor. He didn’t have the guts to tell me face to face, so he sent it in an email. I read:
“In light of recent events, I am dissolving the team of Angelo Moretti and James Matheson. If you require any additional information, please contact Gloria Haven who will forward all questions directly to me.”
“Recent events, hell,” I grumbled to myself. “I bet this was the plan all along. With Angelo’s reputation established, you can run off together and leave me in the dust. Good riddance.”
All of the bright colors suddenly drained out of my world. Everything was black, white, and gray again. I didn’t know what would happen next, so I hunkered down at my desk. I returned to what I did much of the time at work before I met Angelo. I stared at the computer screen and occasionally swiped my way through an online dating app to see if I could find someone to take my mind off “recent events.”
It was far too early to tell anyone what happened, even Benji. I had a horrible pain deep inside, and I knew the ache was about Angelo. I didn’t know how to get rid of it. Some would select alcohol. Others would choose spending money. I knew that I was likely to find sex. It was an easy option.
A voice interrupted me just as I found a cute guy. That profile said that he was a writer, but anyone could say that. Fast food workers could claim that they were writing when they typed in orders for their customers.
The voice asked, “Are you Jamie Matheson?” I grumbled at the interruption and looked up.
Before I saw who asked the question, I said, “Yeah, I am. Is there something you want?”
I recognized the face from somewhere in the office, but I couldn’t remember the name. He was attractive in an ordinary, guy-next-door sort of way, so I didn’t try to send him packing right away.
He said, “You probably don’t know who I am, and I wouldn’t know about you if I didn’t sit through the presentation when you won the big project competition. I’m Pete Heller, and I work in the next cubicle over from Angelo.”
So Angelo’s already sending buddies to spy on me. I had neither the time nor the energy to deal with the nosy co-worker. I turned my attention back to the screen and waved a hand to shoo Pete off, hoping he’d crawl back to the art department.
Pete was persistent. He said, “Hey, wait! Did you know that Angelo resigned this morning? He packed up his desk and waved goodbye to me right before the elevator doors closed in his face.”
My hands froze, and I looked up. “Resigned? Why would he do that?”
Pete grabbed the back of the straight-backed chair placed beside my desk. I couldn’t remember anyone sitting in it any time over the last several months, and it held a stack of various papers that I’d managed to avoid reading by using urgent projects as an excuse. Pete asked, “Can I sit here?”
I nodded while I w
as still trying to process the news about Angelo. “Just put the stacks of crap on the floor. I should probably send it all to the shredder anyway.”
Pete exhaled deeply. “You know, if it were me, I’d at least try to go to Human Resources before walking out the door. We’re not paid a hell of a lot, but this is a decent job. It can lead to better opportunities. We get a good benefits package and all, and it’s a big size twelve foot in the door.”
Pete was rambling, and he’d left out a whole lot of details. I asked, “Human Resources?”
“Oh, man, yeah.” Pete suddenly held a hand up to his mouth. “Oh, shit. Maybe you don’t know. I thought you were dating, and he told you everything, but Angelo kept things pretty close to his chest.”
“We were dating. Stop babbling, and tell me what’s going on.”
Pete took a deep breath. “It’s a clear cut case of sexual harassment if you ask me. Mr. Blackmoor’s been after Angelo for a long time. It didn’t take a genius to see that. Something happened in Mr. Blackmoor’s office that made Angelo leave. I didn’t hear the details, but he nodded yes when I asked if it had to do with approaches from the boss.”
I scratched my head, trying to figure it all out. “After him? What does that mean?”
“Yeah, my bet is he tried to kiss Angelo or grabbed his crotch. Haven’t you ever heard the rumors about Mr. Blackmoor? Every now and then, he apparently gets an itch for someone new. He chooses young guys, and I think Angelo caught his eye. I heard that Blackmoor nearly lost his job one time over it. It was a scandal, and some of the bigwigs got together to try and sweep it all under the rug.”
I hung my head for a few seconds and then looked up at Pete. I grumbled, “Aw, shit. Are you sure you’re telling the truth? It’s a hellish story if you’re not, but I need to know for sure.”
“Oh, hell, yes. Angelo told me about weird notes praising him and the way Mr. Blackmoor brushed up too close when they shook hands. It all sounded creepy, but Angelo said he couldn’t prove anything. It was only gut instinct. He was willing to believe that he saw it the wrong way, and Mr. Blackmoor was only trying to support his career. I guess this morning Angelo decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. Still…Human Resources. That’s why they’re there.”
“So why’d you come to me?”
“Well, Angelo left in such a rush that I didn’t know whether you hear the news.” Pete leaned forward. “And yeah, I also wondered whether you knew any more about it than me. Someone should go after Blackmoor. He was on thin ice before. Angelo could have taken him down. Have you talked to him?”
I lowered my head into my hands. All I could say was the truth about what happened in the wake of Angelo’s resignation. I said, “Nothing. I’ve heard nothing. I didn’t know that he resigned.”
While Pete tilted his head to the side and watched, I gripped my hair and pulled so hard that I thought I might start ripping it out in big chunks. Hold it together, Jamie.
I let go of my hair, took a deep breath, and said, “Yeah, sure. I’ll let you know if I hear anything else. Thanks for telling me.”
Pete realized there was nothing left to say. Before he left the cubicle, he said, “Let me know if there’s any way I can help. Angelo’s a great guy. He’s one of the best around here. We’re only friends at work. We don’t hang out after hours or anything, but he’s one of the excellent ones. That’s obvious.”
I stared into space, barely able to focus on Pete as he wound his way past the cubicles on his way to the elevator. I shivered as I realized that my day had just gone from bad to worse.
I was a blooming idiot. I’d never had any reason to distrust Angelo since first meeting him. He’d always been open and honest to me. I let the first reaction to what I saw in Blackmoor’s office serve as judge and jury to convict Angelo of cheating on me. I didn’t even give him a chance to talk.
Closing my eyes, I saw the look on Angelo’s face when I said goodbye. All that I could read in it was immense sadness. I took one of the best things that ever happened in my life and threw it on the trash heap without a second thought.
Holding my head in my hands, I desperately tried to sort through my thoughts. There had to be something I could do.
Then it came to me.
It was a quick thought, but it quickly grew into a real possibility. It was like chewing bubble gum and blowing to turn a tentative bubble into something remarkable. I knew how to make things right.
I hoped that when he found out about my efforts, Angelo could find it in his heart to forgive me. Even if that didn’t happen, I knew that I couldn’t blame him. I’d have to be satisfied that I did the right thing for Angelo and his reputation.
24
Angelo
I had bad dreams every night after resigning my position at Star One. Ma constantly worried about me, and she pushed me to explain why I quit my job. I don’t know how many times I repeated, “I’ll tell you in good time, but for now, I need to rest and clear my head. Can I help you with the lasagna for the restaurant tonight?”
Ma wasn’t satisfied with only hearing about the job. She asked, “What about Jamie? He’s such a wonderful young man. You never talk about him, and you don’t bring him around anymore. Did you break up with him, my angel? I’d love to make another meal for the two of you.”
Three nights after I quit my job, Tony cornered me in my bedroom. He said, “I don’t know what happened, and I suppose it’s none of my business, but you broke up with Jamie, too. Didn’t you?”
I nodded. “Please don’t tell Ma. I can’t talk about it yet. I’ll share more information in good time. I know you’re always there for me, Tony, and I need you to help me right now. Let me keep quiet for a little while longer.”
“This isn’t going to be like you coming out, is it? I hope we hear something sooner than four years down the road.”
I sighed heavily. “I’m sorry about the projects that I didn’t finish at Star One. We were planning to do a few more clips with you. I guess your commercial career got cut off a little too early.”
Tony’s ability to take everything in stride was phenomenal. He shrugged and said, “I suppose it’s easy come and easy go. You’ve made Dad happy. That’s one good thing.”
“I have?”
“Oh, yeah. Maybe he didn’t say it to you, but he thinks you’re going to go into the restaurant business now.”
“Yeah?”
Tony imitated Dad. He placed his hands on his hips for a moment and then began gesturing excitedly. “My oldest boy will take over the family business. I knew that advertising wasn’t right for him, but I have to support him. My boy Angelo’s Sicilian, and we do food. It will be the third generation of Moretti’s. We’re here forever!”
I chuckled softly and said, “I guess it’s just one more person I can disappoint in the near future.”
“What are your plans?” asked Tony.
“I don’t know. I wish I did.” I wanted to tell Tony about everything that happened with Charles, but every time I thought about it, I was still embarrassed that I didn’t stop it earlier. Deep in my gut, I knew what Charles was up to, but I didn’t want to believe the problem with Walker was happening all over again. It was too awful to seriously contemplate.
Tony reached out and slapped me on the back. “Well, big brother, why don’t you come and watch a baseball game on the TV with me. Keeping me company is something you can do right now, and I always appreciate it. I know that Ma will keep pushing for more info, but I’ll let it lie for now. Just tell me if I can help somehow.”
The next evening, I offered to take host duties for the restaurant. I greeted customers at the door and offered them seats. It was an easy job, but it required a cheerful, welcoming attitude. It was a good challenge to pull me out of my funk.
The night flowed smoothly until 8:00 p.m. Then Jamie appeared at the door. He was alone. I spotted him as the door opened and fled for the kitchen. A sense of panic rose in the back of my throat, suddenly making it difficult to breath
e.
Ma was busy asking one of our veteran cooks about the quality of his risotto. As she heard me push through the swinging door to the kitchen, Ma turned and stared at me in surprise.
“What are you doing back here, my angel? We have customers out front. They need to see you ready and waiting when they arrive.”
I whispered, “It’s Jamie. He’s here. I can’t go out there. I’m not ready to see him.”
“Jamie Matheson?” Ma’s eyes brightened, and she ignored my protests. “I haven’t seen him in so long.” She tugged on my elbow. “Let’s say hello. He’s one of the family. Come on. Don’t be afraid.”
I dug my heels in. “Ma, I can’t. Honestly, please don’t make me.”
She gazed into my eyes. Without blinking, she said, “Okay, I will greet him, but I won’t lie. Morettis don’t lie. He’ll know that you’re here, but you can hide like a little boy if you wish.”
Without another word, she turned on her heel and stepped through the door into the dining room. After she left, my eyes darted back and forth while I tried to decide what to do. I wasn’t ready to meet Jamie, but Ma would tell him that I was in the back. I didn’t want to make a scene either.
A few short minutes later, Ma returned to the kitchen. She spotted me in the corner at the salad station. Trying out a different approach, she walked up to me, placed a hand on my cheek, and said, “He’s as wonderful as always, my angel, and he hopes to see you. Jamie ordered a bowl of pasta bolognese. Can I tell him that you’ll join him? You can share one of our best bottles of wine.”
I took three deep breaths in a row and held up my hand to encourage Ma to wait. When I was done, I said, “Okay, I guess I have to face him eventually one way or the other. Right now, Dallas is too small of a city for the two of us.”
Winner: The Mathesons Book 4 Page 15