by JB Schroeder
Grief and exhaustion, mingled with the uncomfortable and undeniable yearning she felt for Jake, made Sadie feel like she was on the edge of falling apart. But she said, “Yeah. You?”
“It’s good to have all my people together.” Rita waved a hand toward her sister, Chuck’s siblings, longtime friends, and, of course, her boys.
Sadie couldn’t help it. Her gaze locked with Jake’s. He’d disappeared for a while earlier, and now there was something different in his eyes. What was it? Speculation? Excitement? Mischief? Trouble? She caught herself frowning and looked away. Whatever it was, it seemed out of place.
Rita gave her a big, rocking squeeze. “Safe trip home,” she said. “See you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Hope you get some good sleep,” Sadie told her. Then she went through the kitchen and out the back, only to find her boyfriend Tom leaning against the railing on the steps of the cement dock.
“Hey,” she said. “You didn’t have to wait.” He’d been at the funeral and the diner, but hadn’t overstayed, since he didn’t know the Walkers that well.
“I didn’t. Went home and then came back. Didn’t want you to be alone.” He gave her a hug, but she didn’t prolong it.
“Thanks,” she said.
He didn’t ask, just unlocked her bike from the railing and carried it down onto the street next to his, which was propped there. The diner—and much of these few blocks of buildings—was raised above ground level, having once been a warehouse. The area used to feel almost seedy, but the Strip had undergone gentrification that kept on going. Now it was a perfect mix of authentic grittiness and exciting modern amenities for living, dining, and shopping.
Rather than drive, Tom must have biked back just to keep her company on the way home. Good thing, because if he’d been on foot and she’d had to push her bike it would have taken forever. Bone tired, she was glad for his forethought. They crossed the 16th Street Bridge, rode along the river on the North Shore Trail before cutting through downtown, and then took the 9th Street Bridge and entered Allegheny Commons Park. Her neighborhood, the Mexican War Streets, bordered the park on the north. It was a dense neighborhood of eighteenth-century two- and three-story row houses, now mostly beautifully restored, with tree-lined streets and cars usually parked nose to tail along it.
Sadie rented a second-floor apartment from a couple who needed the extra income. When they hopped off their bikes in front of her place, Tom said, “Really makes you think, doesn’t it?”
“Hmmn?” Sadie asked as she clipped her helmet onto her bike.
She’d been thinking of how stunning Jake looked in his dark suit and crisp blue shirt, with his warm brown eyes set off above dark scruff. Guilt lodged in Sadie’s chest as she pulled herself into the present. Tom—kind, thoughtful, reliable, caring Tom.
“Chuck dying and all,” Tom said. “It was so unexpected. It reminds you of how short life is.”
“That it does,” Sadie murmured, but she suddenly had a bad feeling about where he was going with this, about why he’d come to escort her home. Not tonight, please, she thought.
Tom propped his bike against a tree, and then took her free hand in both of his. Her other hand kept a death grip on her handlebars.
She bit her lip and shook her head.
“You keep putting me off,” he said.
“I don’t want to talk about this tonight of all nights,” she said, and meant it with every fiber of her being. But then, she never did want to talk about it, did she?
“It’s actually the perfect time, Sadie.” He looked sad, even though he wore a small smile. “Circle of life and all that. We should just do it. We fit well together, and I don’t see any reason to wait to get married.”
She opened her mouth, but he put a finger over her lips.
“Just think about it overnight. Please.” He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
He flipped his bike around, hopped on, and began to pedal away. But she couldn’t let him go. Just couldn’t keep doing this.
She ran after him. “Tom,” she called. He stopped, feet on solid ground and bike between his legs as he twisted to look at her. When she came alongside him, the hope on his face broke her heart. No more. No more.
“The answer is no, Tom,” she said as firmly as she could, despite the fact that her eyes filled with tears. “And it’s not going to change.”
A look of shock blanked out his expression.
“You are so good to me. You’re an amazing guy,” she said. “And I don’t know why, I just don’t, but it’s not right. It’s not everything between us. It’s not what I need or what I always dreamed of. I can’t explain it even to myself.”
Tom’s eyes turned hard and his mouth set like granite. “I see.” He nodded once and set his foot to the pedal.
“I’m sorry,” Sadie said. “So very—”
His hand shot up to stop her. “You should have told me. A long time ago.” The words were harsh and clipped with anger. And true, so true.
After Sadie had thrown herself on the couch and had a messy sob fest—for poor Tom, for gone Chuck, for widowed Rita, and for her own sorry self—she forced herself into a hot shower. Afterward, she donned her most comfortable knit pajama pants, her softest old Steelers t-shirt, and her fuzziest socks.
She felt rotten about leading on Tom. Not that she’d been purposely leading him on. They had fun together. She liked him. A lot. She even sometimes loved him. How could you not love a person who was so good to you? But sadly, she just didn’t feel totally gaga over him. And she could barely explain why to herself, let alone him.
She padded into the kitchen, poured a glass of milk, and dug out the Oreos. Comfort food. And hey, she had only eaten the graham cracker crust bits from the cheesecake plate when she’d refilled the desserts at The Wanderlust.
She stood at the counter, dunked, and munched as she contemplated.
Everyone thought she should have some grand plan after graduation. But she still didn’t have one—or, at least, hadn’t committed to one entirely. Much like with Tom, she’d been spinning her wheels.
Sadie blew out a breath, forced herself to seal the cookies, and put them back in the cupboard out of sight.
Her friend Lilian Richter had gone off after college and taught English to kids in Thailand. And she swore it had opened her eyes, changed her outlook, and been the best experience of her life.
So, Sadie had looked into the various programs, and had taken the Teaching English as a Foreign Language course. She’d fit in the hours like it was just another college class, figuring it would give her options. She was double-majoring in elementary education and marketing, because at some point she’d realized she didn’t want to be in the classroom long-term. This teaching abroad thing was more about expanding her horizons, boldly grabbing an opportunity to detour, and being open about what might come of it.
Once she’d gotten her TEFL accreditation, she’d ranked her choices (safest for women, best paying, and her own interest level), and then, like magic, she’d gotten offers for multiple interviews from her top choices: South Korea, Thailand, China, and Japan.
Now she had offers in her email inbox just waiting. Although Sadie had been a little hesitant, it seemed like it was meant to be. All she had to do was accept one.
Accepting was what she probably needed. A reset button. A fresh perspective. A surefire way to force her to do something, take some action.
But it’d mean leaving her job at the Children’s Museum. She’d started as an intern four years ago, and now she was the assistant director of programming. And she loved it. It was exactly what she wanted to do.
And the diner. Leaving The Wanderlust would be like leaving home—the home she never had.
If working abroad didn’t change her life, would her jobs still be here? Sadie bit her lip. They’d have to hire someone else at the museum. Yes, teaching abroad would look good on a résumé, but the Children’s Museum couldn’t just kick
someone else out if Sadie returned to scratch at the door like a stray cat.
Of course, Rita would hire her back, even if she had found good help. Sadie wondered if it’d feel the same after such a long absence, though. Already Chuck was gone. Would Rita even want to run it alone—especially if her right hand Sadie left? And for how long?
Sadie wasn’t especially excited about the thought of leaving. She liked her life.
After seeing Jake this weekend, though, she had to wonder. Had she been biding time here—waiting for him? Subconsciously? All these years? When he only came home once in a while? When he’d built a life and a career in New York? When one day, he’d go ahead and marry one of those girlfriends she’d heard about through Rita?
She wouldn’t have thought so, but jeez…
The way he made her feel, just by walking into a room, or smiling at her, or a hint of concern in his eyes… Not to mention that simple caress of her elbow. It was the first time he’d actually touched her in years—and it had brought her crashing back to that magical, earth-shattering encounter in the storeroom all those years ago.
That one touch, that vivid memory—and everyone else in between vanished like mist in a gust of wind. Because no other man’s kisses had ever made her feel that blown away and that whole all at once.
Sadie gripped the counter with both hands.
Dammit. Now that she’d seen him again, she couldn’t deny it. She had been waiting for Jake. All this time. In vain.
With a wince, she remembered the sliver of hope that had crept into her heart every December and every May. Because Jake had always managed to call it off with some college girlfriend just before his breaks and arrive home single. In no time, he’d find a summer girl, then break up with her, too, as a new semester loomed. He was the leaving type, always looking forward to the next adventure, never stopping long enough to waste effort on the past. Round and round it went every year, every season.
And every season, Sadie would glue that little broken bit of hope back together, only to have it fracture along the same line again.
Because, single or not, in all those months home, Jake had never—not since that one and only kiss—shown her any indication that he cared for her at all beyond basic friendship.
To him, it had been a mistake—something he’d been sorry for. In fact, he’d largely avoided being alone with her ever since, probably because of guilt.
To her, it had been everything.
Would she ever be able to say a wholehearted yes to a great guy like Tom, if she was forever waiting for a guy who’d never given her a real chance? And who likely never would?
Sadie spun out of the kitchen and plopped herself down at the computer.
She clicked open the email from the recruiter, hit reply, and typed: I’m so pleased to accept the position. Thank you for the opportunity, and I look forward to speaking with you about the details.
Sadie added her name. She hovered the pointer over the send button…
She shut her eyes, took a deep breath, and clicked.
It was done.
Immediately, she had the urge to toss those dunkers right up.
4
Jake was waiting out back on the cement dock behind The Wanderlust when Sadie showed up for her shift Sunday afternoon. She flipped one gorgeous long leg over her bike—the mini-jean skirt showing it off nicely—and cruised to a stop on only one pedal.
The absolute surety he was doing the right thing took a hit from a sudden case of nerves as he looked down at her from the old dock area. It was only a business partnership, sure. But Sadie was his best bet. Maybe his only hope. He couldn’t think of anyone else suitable—certainly not anyone else he’d enjoy having by his side every day. What if he couldn’t talk her into it? What if she out-and-out refused? Hell, knowing Sadie, there was a really good chance she’d put him in his place and laugh while doing it.
“Hey, Jake.”
She glanced at him and hefted her bike up the short set of steps before he managed to offer to help. Then, she removed her helmet and locked up the bike where the railing ended. She’d been using that spot so long that it might have been engraved with her name. Jake watched as she fluffed her hair, unhooked her backpack from the flat rack above the rear wheel, and finally turned her attention on him.
One look at her, two words, three seconds, and he felt a tightening of his skin, an awareness sliding over him, a frisson of pleasure—and then wham.
An idea exploded in his brain with no warning. A better idea than he’d had initially. What if… Jesus, he thought, again with the what ifs, yet he couldn’t shake the thought…
He’d been planning to ask Sadie to partner with him, to commit, just as he was going to, to running the diner. A business partnership. But what if…
“Headed home?” She eyed the duffel and backpack that sat against the restaurant’s back wall.
“Yeah,” he said. His brain scrambled, hitting overdrive as the smooth partnership speech he’d prepared disappeared from his memory bank. Snippets of recent conversations darted through his consciousness with lightning speed. His mom’s words to Aunt Reenie: a committed couple. His dad gone too soon. His mom still so young and energetic. Her desire for grandbabies.
She smiled. “Where’s Rita? Isn’t she taking you to the airport?”
“I called a car.”
“Ooh, very fancy, Diner Boy.”
He didn’t sense any malice in the teasing. Given that he was still too occupied with the thoughts darting like bullets through his brain to actually speak, she was probably just trying to fill the space.
For all his mom’s coolness, she was very traditional in some ways. Marriage would give her hope. And hope of grandbabies would serve to really press his timetable. Also, the best marriages were built on solid respect and friendship— Wait, don’t get ahead of yourself.
“Well, safe trip,” Sadie said, and reached for the door.
Come on, Walker, what’s the worst that could happen? He was a risk taker by nature, but partnering hadn’t seemed so risky. Asking her to marry him—even for practical reasons—whoa.
Jake blurted out, “Hold up—I wanted to talk to you about something important.”
Sadie raised an eyebrow but let go of the door and turned to face him. “Okaaay. I’m listening.”
And wow, having her full attention, he realized he wanted this. Badly. What did that mean, exactly? Mentally, he shook his head. Maybe not all his reasons were practical ones, but he’d sort that later and go for it now. He’d have to wing it, but it was worth a shot. And there was always plan B (the boring business partnership)—not that he’d tell Sadie that.
She tapped a foot.
Jake jump-started his mouth. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I want to help my mom out. And to really make my plan work, I need your help.”
“You know I’ll be here helping her more than ever before, right?” she asked. She looked at him askance, like he had forgotten how much Sadie loved his mom or how great she herself was.
Uh, yeah, not a chance. Those were two key elements here.
Jake shook his head. “It’s way bigger than that. I’m going to come home and take over so she can travel—while she’s still young and healthy—just like she’s always wanted to.”
Sadie’s eyes popped open wide. “You’d leave New York to come home and run the diner?”
“Yes. I don’t have a doubt in my mind that it’s the right thing to do.”
“Wow,” Sadie said, shaking her head. “That’s really big of you. But I don’t think she’d want you to leave your job, your life, for her… She’s really strong. She’s—”
“It’s not just for her. It’s for me. And hopefully it will be a good thing for you, too.”
Sadie narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m getting a bad feeling about how this involves me.”
Sadie’s mind raced. Was Jake trying to fire her? Ahead of coming home? Or was he aiming to enlist her as so
me sort of spokesperson on his behalf? Neither of those things made sense, but she wasn’t coming up with anything that did.
And what in the world made him think Rita would want him to drop everything to come back here? The woman adored her boys and wished she saw them all more often, but she wouldn’t want him sacrificing himself. Sadie eyed him closely. He looked like grown-up, successful Jake. He was standing tall and fit in a long-sleeved pullover and sweats and running shoes—a getup that only enhanced his lean gorgeousness. Hot as ever, unfortunately for her.
“Hear me out,” Jake said. “You know how Mom’s always wanted to travel, right? Once they’d sold the diner, they planned to see the world. Dad’s promise to her.”
Sadie waved a hand impatiently.
“Well, if I come home,” he said, lifting a shoulder and then dropping it, “she can go.”
“Yeah, right,” Sadie said, relaxing a little as she realized he didn’t have a plate to put whatever crazy concoction this was on, “only she still won’t go.”
“Exactly,” Jake said with a big smile. “She believes it’s too much for one person.”
“Because it is.” Normally Jake was a smart guy, but she wasn’t seeing any logic coming her way. She hoisted her backpack up further on her shoulder.
“But if two people were committed to running it together?” Jake raised his eyebrows, suggesting…
Suggesting what? “Are you offering me some kind of partnership? Just spit it out already.” She didn’t have time for this, and he was cracked if he thought she had any kind of capital for some kind of family-ruining buyout. “I’m going to be late.”
“No—it’s bigger than that.” Jake sucked in a big breath. “I’m asking you to marry me.”
Sadie’s mouth dropped open. Her heart stuttered with shock and then recovered, as if Cinderella’s pumpkin carriage had appeared and then vanished all in the space of a second.
She barked out a laugh—because really, what other way was there to react? “You are out of your mind.”