But this morning, I went against my patterns and slept in. To be honest, it’s pretty freaking awesome. Instead of being jarred awake by an obnoxious, robotic beeping sound, I woke up gradually as light filtered into the room.
Even though I’m awake, I’m not jumping out of bed to kick start my day. Nope. I’m lying here lazily watching Rian sleep. It’s pretty freaking amazing and makes me question why I’ve always been such a stickler for those early morning hours.
Her eyes flutter a little bit, still covered in the heavy makeup she wore yesterday. It’s a bit more smudged, and not the purposeful kind of smudge that’s popular these days. This is more of a drunk party-girl look. But that’s what happens when you get so caught up in each other you don’t stop to do your normal nighttime rituals. I don’t mind, though. Even with two-day-old makeup, she’s still amazingly beautiful.
Which reminds me, it’s Sunday. That’s facial care day. I know Rian is going to think I’m nuts, but maybe she’ll join me for a face mask. If I don’t charcoal mask at least twice a month, my age starts to show in a very real way. These pores don’t clean themselves.
Rian’s eyelids begin to flutter as the room continues to get brighter. I watch as awareness takes over her features.
It takes a few minutes for her to get her bearings straight, but I know the second she remembers where she is and everything that happened last night.
“Hi.” Her voice sounds groggy with sleep.
“Hi,” I say back, careful not to move too quickly. I don’t want to frighten her away.
“You stayed.”
“You thought I wouldn’t?” I reply, playing with one of her stray hairs. Her hair is soft and smooth, not crunchy with too much hair spray. I like the feeling of it on my fingers.
She shifts, making herself more comfortable, if that’s even possible since this hotel mattress is amazing. It’s like lying on a cloud. I need to check the label before we leave.
“I honestly…” She pauses and bites her lip. “I guess I wasn’t one hundred percent sure you would be here when I woke up.”
I sigh, although I’m not upset. I expected some sort of doubt from her this morning. That’s why I’ve always been very, very clear about my intensions when I spend the night with a woman—what I want out of the night, what I want the next morning, and most importantly, what I don’t want. The lines of this situation, however, are a little more blurred.
There are a lot more layers here. We’re dating. We’re friends. We’re gym buddies. We’re colleagues. I’m her boss. All of that is wrapped up in a not-so-nice package. Like after a five-year-old wraps a Christmas present. The good intensions are there, and it’s pretty in its own way, but it isn’t quite smoothed out.
“I’m sorry,” she adds quickly. “I should trust you more.”
Furrowing my brow, I vehemently disagree with her. “No, you shouldn’t.”
She blinks rapidly a few times, trying to process what I just said. “Wait, you’re saying I shouldn’t trust you?”
“No. I mean, I am trustworthy. This is just a new relationship. You’re going to have doubts. We’re both going to have doubts. Part of the fun is sorting through all those new relationship feelings. Figuring things out as we go. Surprising each other with the unexpected.”
She smiles and I know my playful Rian is back. “Did you see that on a soap opera or something? Because those are some really pretty words for someone who hasn’t done this relationship thing before.”
Bantering with her makes me laugh. Plus, she’s not wrong. “I may have asked a friend some questions about what to expect when dating.”
“Oh. So, you really are researching.”
“I want to do this right.”
Her face takes on a serious, yet sensual quality. “So far, so good.”
Her reassurance boosts my ego in a way I’ve not felt before. What I’m quickly learning is that I can be happy with myself all I want. But there’s a different kind of ego boost that goes with making someone else happy, too.
Leaning forward, I kiss her gently on the lips, intending only to give her a good morning peck. But I couldn’t stop my body if I wanted to and very quickly, a chaste kiss is turning into a full-on makeout session. I grab the sheet wanting nothing in between us, but before it moves, she pulls it tighter to her body. Confused, I look into her eyes, trying to figure out if I misread the situation. “What?”
“Um, it’s daytime.”
Now, I’m even more confused. “So… what does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s light outside.”
“Again, what does that even mean?”
“The lighting was much more flattering last night. But with all this sunshine, things,” she gestures down to her body, “don’t look quite the same.”
I huff out a partial laugh. “So, you’re saying it doesn’t matter that I had my lips on every square inch of that body last night. Because there is daylight outside, I don’t have access to it anymore?”
She considers my question before answering. “It’s not that you don’t have access, as much as you probably don’t want to look while you are accessing.”
Now it’s my turn to consider. “So, should I wait for you to put clothes on before we have sex? Maybe we could order you some pants with a hole in the crotch or cut out the nipples of a shirt.”
“Shut up.” She laughs and nudges my shoulder playfully before dropping back down on the pillow. “Look. I have a nice rack.”
“Yes. We can agree on that,” I say with a waggle of my eyebrows.
“You can quit that, you perv.” I immediately steel my features, trying very hard to be serious, and failing. “But this nice rack is very large.”
“Uh huh?”
“And large means gravity tends to work against me.”
I give up. “I’m still not following, Rian. You’ve gotta spell it out for me. Because from where I lie, boobs are boobs. And I like boobs.”
Clearly frustrated, she makes an impromptu decision and whips the sheet off the upper half of her body and gestures to her breasts. “You see what I’m saying now?”
My eyes are locked on their target. “I don’t even remember what we were talking about. But I’m definitely seeing something now.” I lick my lips in anticipation and begin to lean forward. She, on the other hand, huffs in frustration and holds me off.
“Carlos. They’re not pretty like this.”
“Oh, I beg to differ. Can I touch them?”
“You are such a man,” she grumbles. “These are not perky boobs. They’re saggy and practically laying down next to me.”
Flipping my eyes up to hers, I think I finally have an understanding. “Are you embarrassed because your boobs sag when you’re not wearing a bra?”
“Um, once again, not model perky.”
Rolling my eyes, I whip the sheet off my body and gesture to my lower half. “Hey, look, when my penis isn’t hard, it sags, too.”
The laugh that comes out of Rian is full and makes me chuckle, too.
“I cannot believe you just pointed to your flaccid...” She takes another gander and pauses. “Well, not totally flaccid. It’s making some movement there. But your flaccid penis to make a point about my boobs.”
Mission accomplished.
“Listen.” Moving closer, I pull her to me now that the sheet is finally out of the way and I can feel all of her next to all of me. “I know you feel self-conscious because of the women I’ve been with before. But, Rian, they are nothing compared to you. What I was doing before was holding people at a distance. I kept things shallow and surface level so I wouldn’t have to share myself. I thought I was all I needed.”
“And I grew up thinking I was never enough.”
“I know. We have a weird yin and yang thing going, don’t we?”
She giggles. “I guess we do.” Getting serious again, she expands on her concerns. “It’s gonna take me some time.”
“I know.”
“And I�
��m going to need a lot of reassurance.”
“I know that, too.”
“Do you really want this enough to be up for that kind of challenge?”
Rubbing my hand up and down her back, I nod. “I’ve never been up for anything more in my life. See?” I gesture back down to the lower half of my body only this time I’m not saggy anymore.
Rian laughs again, a sound I’ll never get tired of hearing. “You are an arrogant mess.”
“Again, yin and yang, right?”
She nods, and her smile reaches all the way up to her eyes. So, I kiss her and kiss her and kiss her as I roll on top of her, settling my body between her legs.
I feel her everywhere. She’s on me and around me and in me. She inhabits parts of me I didn’t realize were there. Her entire self is consuming me. I’ve never been more turned on in my life. And yet, I still want more. I want it all.
This is why I could never be in a relationship before. This is why nothing was good enough. This is why no one was ever worth it before. Because no one was ever Rian. Funny how you don’t even realize what you need until she’s right in front of you.
I kiss down her jawline, my hands roaming her soft curves. Hearing her soft mewls of excitement get me riled up, and my fingers decide to do some walking. Just as she spreads her legs and I get ready to enter her…
The most annoying sound in the entire free world begins blaring through the room making us both freeze.
“What. The hell. Is that?”
Wriggling underneath me, Rian thwarts my plans at a morning quickie with the words, “We have to get up.”
Dropping my body weight on top of her I groan in her neck. “I disagree. We’re in a hotel room, all alone, about to have sex. We have to stay lying down.”
She laughs and pulls me tighter, which does nothing to convince my body we’re going anywhere.
“I wish we could, believe me. But that alarm is a reminder that we have to check out in thirty minutes. And unless I want to look like I just left an all-night frat party, I need to at least rinse off.”
Unfortunately, she’s right. “Fine,” I grumble, and roll off her. “But only because I’m about to do the walk of shame and don’t need to embarrass myself further by checking out late.”
Chuckling, she saunters her way to the bathroom, with more confidence than I’ve ever seen her have before. Her hips sway just a little bit more. Her chin is held just a little bit higher. If it wasn’t for the goth look running down her face, she would have succeeded in that sultry look she tossed over her shoulder.
“Ah!”
I smile, hands clasped behind my head and closing my eyes, knowing full well she’s just looked in the mirror.
“Why didn’t you tell me I look like I just left a metal concert? You wanted to have sex with this a few minutes ago?”
Picking up the sheet, I look down and find confirmation. “That would be a yes,” I say before addressing my junk directly. “Sorry about that fella. We’ll pick this back up later.” I toss the sheet all the way off and jump out of bed. Sleeping in has done wonders for my energy level, so much so that it’s almost instinct to smack Rian on the ass when I join her in the bathroom to shower. She squeals and bitches about getting soap in her eyes.
Once she can see again and the water heats up, I climb in and start washing off. I may have to put on yesterday’s clothes, but I’m a guy. If I don’t soap up certain parts every morning, no cab driver in Chicago will take me home when he smells me.
Turning the water down a little cooler, I try to convince Little Carlos that being naked in a room with Rian doesn’t mean we’re getting any. So far, he doesn’t believe me. Maybe the addition of pants will help. Otherwise, it’s going to be an embarrassing walk through the lobby.
“Um, Carlos?” Rian’s voice isn’t as confident as it was. She sounds shy and nervous which immediately puts me on alarm. What could have changed in the last few minutes?
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want you to hate my family.”
“What?” Pulling the curtain open just enough to see her, I find her leaning against the counter wringing her hands.
“It’s just, six months ago my sister was my best friend. And then she started planning a wedding.” Giving up her fidgeting, she begins to pace. “My mom isn’t always passive-aggressive, and my dad is always quiet, but he really understood how hard this wedding was for me.” She stops pacing and turns to address me directly, hands on her hips. “It’s just… you only hear me bitching about my family, and I don’t want you to think that’s all there is to them. Just in case we run into them in the lobby or something.”
Nodding, I choose my next words carefully. “My dad is the worst at relationships. I’ve never seen him with someone for longer than a couple months. But he’s also never missed a visit with me my whole life. He calls at least three times a week. Attended every single sporting event I had through high school. Never missed my birthday.
“My mom is terrified of dating. Basically, she says it’s pointless and ingrained in me that I wouldn’t be a man who would just pretend I want something deep with a woman and leave them in the end. She’s also a fantastic cook, volunteers at the nursing home, and loves me fiercely.
“Rian, families aren’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. They’re going to have flaws. Love them anyway.”
She quirks her lips, trying not to smile, and I can tell she’s trying to decide if I’m for real or not. “You really mean that?”
I nod and duck back into the shower, rinsing the remaining suds off my body. “I do. And I promise not to judge them off this one event. Especially since your dad probably had to take out a second mortgage for the flowers alone.”
“Right? I feel like I’m still smelling petunias. Now get a move on, Davies!” she calls and then she’s gone.
By the time I’m out of the shower and dressed, Rian is already packed and ready to go. It’s a good thing, too. The maid is knocking on the door just as we open it.
“Wanna come to my place?” I ask on the elevator ride down. “I need to change, but we can grab some takeout and binge watch more reality TV?”
“Don’t pretend like you’re asking me on a real date, Carlos Davies.” She doesn’t even look my direction while we banter until I take her overnight bag out of her hands. “You just want to watch more cooking competitions and don’t know which channel they’re on.”
“Maybe.” She laughs next to me as the doors open and we step out into the lobby. “But that’s not why I’m asking. I have a regular Sunday routine—”
“Good morning, Carlos.”
Rian and I stop dead in our tracks, conversation interrupted when Rebecca cuts right in front of us and puts her hands on me. I’m getting really tired of seeing this woman.
“I was hoping I’d catch you here. But I didn’t realize you’d have,” she turns and glares at Rian, “a friend chasing you around. What’s your name, sweetie? I don’t think we’ve met.”
“It’s Rian.” My girl’s nostrils flare in anger. “You know, sister of the bride and account manager at Cipher Systems.”
Rebecca reels back like she’s been slapped, and yet her hands don’t move from my chest. “You mean you hired her before me? Carlos, why would you do that? We have something special.”
Out of my peripheral vision, I see Rian’s facial expression completely change. She’s thinking the same thing I am—is this woman for real? I’m also wondering how Tabitha pegged her so quickly. She must do some sort of voodoo magic because I knew Rebecca was a little dense, but off her rocker never entered my mind.
But I’ve always been painfully honest in my relationships, even the short-lived ones and I think I might need to make myself clear again so there is no more question. No more beating around the bush or avoiding.
“Ridic—uh, Rebecca, Rian doesn’t just work at Cipher Systems, she’s also my girlfriend.”
“What?” both Rian and Rebecca say at the same time. I figured I�
��d get that reaction from Rian, but we need to get through this conversation first before I can explain that yes, she is in fact the only one I’ll be dating.
Rebecca immediately sees Rian in a new way, and I don’t like the way she’s sizing her up. “You’re dating—her?”
“Yes,” I seethe. I should have known this was going to take an ugly turn, but I was hoping it didn’t go there.
“But she’s—” Rebecca continues to look Rian up and down but stops as soon as she realizes Rian is bucking up to her.
“She’s what?” Rian’s anger is radiating through her. The security guard at the front door seems to notice and begins to rise in case he’s needed. Not that his five-foot-six frame could stand up to Rian. I’ve seen her kickboxing skills. “What is she, Rebecca?”
Rebecca’s eyes widen as she finally grasps the severity of her words. “She’s—very lucky to have a man like you.”
Rian shifts backward just slightly, satisfied that she’s won this round. A jolt of pride runs through me as well. Just a few months ago, Rian would have let those comments get to her. But now, she’s standing up for herself. And not just with passive-aggressive barbs.
Rebecca finally moves her hands off me and smooths her jeans. Clearing her throat, she removes the shell-shocked look from her face. “Well. You know how to find me.”
“I do, but rest assured, Rian will be around for a very long time, so it’s best if you move on. Oh, and I’m sorry to inform you, we filled the receptionist position already. We’ll keep your resume on file for the next six months in case another position opens up.”
I grab Rian’s hand and walk around Rebecca, hopefully for the last time. I’m tired of playing games. And frankly, I need a nap.
“Uh, you aren’t really going to call her if another position opens up, are you?”
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