“I’m surprised everybody else’s parents were cool with this,” I shouted to Hannah.
She bopped her head to the music, dancing in her seat with her hands in the air. “Oh, they weren’t.”
“What?”
“You think our parents agreed to this when your mega-chill aunt didn’t?” Hannah scoffed. “We’re gonna get in the worst kind of shit ever.”
“And everybody’s cool with that?” I asked, incredulous.
“Of course,” Emma cut in. “We’re your friends. Don’t forget that.”
I smiled despite myself. This whole thing was ridiculous. How had I managed to go from a spineless, friendless loser to a rule-breaker surrounded by such incredible people—all in the span of a summer?
“That’s … that’s so—” I couldn’t finish my sentence. Not because I was emotionally overwhelmed … but because I had started to laugh. A side effect of doing something wrong was apparently intense mania; I couldn’t stop laughing.
The disorder must have been contagious, because pretty soon my fellow delinquents had joined in. Wild whoops of laughter filled the van, lifting us to an incredible adrenaline high and rendering us invincible. Nothing would stop us.
“Guys,” Blake gasped, wiping at his eyes. “Guys, wait—shit—guys … guys …”
“What?” we shouted.
“Out of … gas.”
Okay, so an unexpected detour to fill up the tank put a bit of a damper on the delirium … but we stocked up on soda and sugary snacks. As soon as we hit the road, it was back to partying.
“Just about five hours till we get there,” Blake announced as we got back onto the highway, glancing at the GPS. He grinned at us in the rearview mirror and cranked the music back up.
We sang at the top of our lungs. For the most part, my friends were completely tone-deaf. But it didn’t matter, because we were on an adventure together and singing and not caring about anything else.
The song switched to “Bohemian Rhapsody.” Hannah’s eyes twinkled with excitement when I caught her gaze. She sang along softly, the power of the song building. We clasped hands as the music swelled, shut our eyes, and sang.
. . .
“My bladder is about to explode, dude!” Michael screamed.
Blake thundered, “We’re almost there! If you piss your pants, I swear to God …” He grunted and pressed down further on the gas pedal. The van whined and shuddered as it picked up more speed.
“You’d better clench those little crotch muscles really hard, kid,” Hannah called out over Emma’s peals of laughter. “If you wet your pants, you can forget about taking me on that picnic.”
“Picnic?” Emma squealed, tears pouring from her eyes. “You asked Hannah to go on a picnic?”
Blake shook his head. “Dude …”
“Guys … not … funny …” Michael grunted. He was flopping like a fish out of water, one hand clutching the front of his pajama pants and the other fisted in his hair. “It hurts!”
“Maybe you should have listened to me when I told you not to drink all those sodas,” Blake growled at his brother. The van sped past a sign announcing our upcoming exit.
“Continue ten miles, then keep right,” the GPS offered robotically.
Michael groaned. “Ten miles.”
Emma was still a wreck. “Blake … Blake! Don’t forget … he had that big Slurpee!”
“Drip … drip … drip … drip,” Hannah teased.
“Not … funny.”
Blake followed the directions on the screen, slowing down to a more reasonable speed as we pulled off the highway. I tried to tune out the overlapping sounds of my friends shouting at one another, laughing and squealing and swearing. None of us had slept much, and it was really starting to show.
I pressed my forehead against the window. The glass was cool and dotted with raindrops. We’d been driving through the Adirondacks for several hours, weaving between evergreen-covered mountains that loomed black and jagged in the dark. As the horizon grew lighter, I noted the overcast sky that had been showering us with intermittent rain. Light touched the tips of the trees and carved shadows into the sides of the mountains.
It was easy to get lost in the beauty of the landscape around us. And that’s all I really wanted. I was tired and anxious and hurt … an overwhelming cocktail of emotion. Frankly, I just wanted to put an end to all the drama. I wanted to have Daniel hear what we had to say, and then I wanted an answer. Because I was done hurting. If he wasn’t ready to be with me, then I was going to move on. I wasn’t going to ruin my life over something that wasn’t going to happen.
“We’re almost there,” Hannah muttered, smiling at me.
“Hm?”
She nodded out the window, and I looked outside. We were off the main highway, heading down a wide road toward a fairly large cluster of tall buildings at the edge of a glassy lake. We whipped past another few yards of trees, and then a town unfolded around us. Strip malls stretched along either side of the road, with general stores boasting signs for live worms on every corner. To our right was an enormous sign with big green letters:
Tracy, NY
Pop. 4,391
Home of the Tracy High Whitetails
“It’s so … quaint.” Hannah yawned.
Emma said, “Sweetie, have you seen the town we come from? So what if we’re in East Jesus Nowhere? At least they have some buildings that are more than three stories.”
I had to agree with her. There was something nice about the town of Tracy. It wasn’t really a city, but compared to the dense forest that stretched out in all directions, it was a metropolis.
“I don’t know what Daniel sees in this place,” Hannah told us. “You wouldn’t catch me dead living here. I mean—”
“Hannah,” I grunted, giving her a pointed look. “Be nice.”
She sighed and crossed her arms. “Fine. I suppose it’s got a certain … charm.”
It was still early, and we were among the only ones on the road. When we stopped at a traffic light, a red pickup truck pulled up beside us. The bleary-eyed men inside the cab nodded at us through the window.
“Um, has anyone forgotten that I’m still causing irreparable damage to my prostate over here?” Michael all but sobbed. “God, I’m never going to get a boner again in my—”
“Okay, ew,” Emma complained. “I don’t need to hear about your pint-sized, fifteen-year-old equipment. Okay?”
Michael gave her the finger over his shoulder while begging his brother to pull in to the Burger King.
“I do not need to hear about the baby-brother dick,” Emma muttered to herself, smirking. “Am I right, Hannah?”
“No,” Hannah mouthed, shaking her head. She held her hands up a foot apart and gave a naughty wink.
Emma’s hands fluttered to her face. She mouthed back, “Big?”
Hannah nodded, and the girls erupted into a fit of giggles, falling into each other’s arms and whispering urgently. I smiled to myself and continued to look out the window as we pulled into the Burger King parking lot.
“Okay,” Blake announced. “Just a quick stop for Junior to use the facilities. And we might as well get a bite to eat. Anybody else need to go?”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Some of us can actually hold our liquid, you know.”
Blake laughed. “I elect Michael to get the food.”
“Fine,” the younger Jackson brother groaned. “Whatever. Can I just go pee now?”
“Michael,” Emma tittered as he fumbled with his seatbelt. “I want my McMuffin with extra sausage.”
Hannah screeched and hit her friend on the arm. They both howled with laughter as Michael leaped from the vehicle and dashed into the restaurant to relieve the apparently massive python in his pants.
. . .
&nbs
p; Daniel’s campus was enormous, comprising several different buildings all spread out over a large property. Each building was impressive in its own right. A few of them gleamed with glass and metal and looked like office buildings. Others were huge brick behemoths with spindly chimneys and gothic-style windows. I wished I had the time to explore every nook and cranny of the grounds.
“Still wouldn’t be caught dead here, Hannah?” Emma teased, skipping and pirouetting down a paved pathway through the impeccable front lawn.
Hannah harrumphed, shuffling along with a frown. I bumped into her. “Hey. Remember what we talked about?”
“Be positive about myself,” she grumbled. “Fine. I love Seaside City High. It’s the bomb.”
Blake and Michael ran to catch up with us. The van was parked in the nearly empty visitor’s lot. Technically, Hannah had told us, it was standard procedure to check in at the front office when you wanted to visit a student.
“But nobody’s here over the summer,” she had said. “And if anybody asks for our passes … just bat your eyelashes and pretend to be pretty.”
Hannah trudged down the path, eventually walking in stride with Emma. The girls put an arm around each other and whispered together. I was sure that Hannah’s recent sexual escapades would be the main topic of discussion.
The path curved around what must have been the main building, an imposing edifice with the school’s name engraved in bold letters: Kingsdell Academy.
“These are the dormitories,” Hannah called over her shoulder, gesturing to the grouping of three buildings we had arrived at. They framed a central quad area on three sides, a scattering of trees and benches collected in the center.
Michael chuckled. “It’s not an all-boys school, is it?”
Hannah shot him a death glare, and he gulped. She led us to the front door of the building to the right of the tree-scattered courtyard. “This is where the guys stay.”
I glanced up at the redbrick building, its tall walls crawling with ivy, and I wondered what it must be like to call this place home during the school year. I envisioned students enjoying themselves in the quad, studying and playing Frisbee and frolicking with the unicorns. Through the gaps between the other two buildings, I could see the lake. There would be a beach for hot days, and perhaps a rowing team. It was strange to imagine Daniel among them …
“Will?” Hannah asked, waving her hands to get my attention.
I blinked. “What?”
“Are you, uh, coming?”
“Yeah,” I said, hurrying after my friends. Hannah held the door to the dormitory open, and she jokingly slapped me on the butt as I passed.
“Get with the program, boy.” She winked. “You’re being all spacey today.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Just … distracted, I guess. I—”
“Jesus,” Michael’s voice echoed.
Emma added, “Is your brother Harry fucking Potter, Hannah? I feel like I’m at Hogwarts. My God.”
I was hardly surprised to see the cavernous entrance hall. The wide staircase didn’t surprise me either. The huge oil paintings and oak doors were to be expected. I imagined that even the bathrooms were opulent and impressive.
“Your mouth is hanging open,” Hannah said, coming to stand by me. I hadn’t noticed.
“Is it?”
“Yeah.”
I continued looking around the entrance. “Hannah, it’s—”
“What?” she snapped. “Yeah, I know it is. It’s gorgeous and perfect, and you wish you could live here.”
“I—”
“See where the bitterness comes from?” Hannah said with a frown. I sighed and put an arm around her. She grunted out a weak protestation and then leaned her head against my shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Don’t be.”
“Do you want to go see him now?”
I smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”
So we led the way up the grand staircase and then three more flights of stairs to Daniel’s floor. The hallway was long and richly carpeted, the walls hung with photographs of guest speakers and alumni and past sports teams.
Hannah stopped at room 414. As she raised a hand to knock, I felt a surge of panic well up in my chest. This is actually happening. Okay. Play it cool, Will. Everything’s going to be fine … probably. It’s a fifty-fifty chance, really. Pretty good odds, right? My thoughts raced, and I watched in slow motion as Hannah’s fist rapped sharply against the door, each sound like a gunshot. Fuck.
“Ready, guys?” Hannah whispered.
After the longest minute of my life, the door swung open, and I felt the breath catch in my throat. My hammering heart slammed down on the brakes. I felt the bones in my legs turn to jelly. I sighed in utter relief.
Daniel hadn’t opened the door. Instead, a cute boy with sandy blond hair leaned against the doorframe. He yawned and scratched at his disheveled hair, blinking the sleep from his eyes.
I felt an intense rush of jealousy, wondering why this boy was coming out of Daniel’s room, sleepy and in his pajamas. And then I had the sudden urge to punch the kid in the face.
“Kinda early to knock, don’t you think?” he mumbled. What a fucking rude asshole.
Michael whispered to his brother, “That’s not Daniel.”
“Fucking brilliant, kid.”
“Daniel?” the blond kid asked, pretending not to know the boy he’d just bonked.
“Heard of him?” I demanded irritably.
“Duh. He’s my roommate.”
Oh. Right. That made more sense.
“Anyways,” Ollie continued, “I thought I was the only guy nerdy enough to come back to school early. But apparently I now have the great joy of cohabitating with a very moody roommate for the rest of the summer.”
“Whossit, Ollie?” Daniel’s tired, muffled voice came from inside the room.
“I’m his sister,” Hannah said. “These are his friends. Do you think … we could hang out with him for a bit?”
“Sure,” Ollie sighed. He stumbled back inside the room and emerged holding a sweater and his wallet. “I’ll give you guys some privacy. Want anything from the café?”
“You guys have a café on campus?” Emma gasped.
He shrugged. “No biggie.”
“We’re fine,” Hannah said. “Thank you.”
Ollie shrugged and gestured toward the door, slipping past us and wobbling down the hallway. I watched him go with an unfair sense of satisfaction. Good riddance.
“Are we ready to do this?” Hannah asked. We all nodded. She nodded back, cranked up her smile, and pushed through the door. “Hey, if it isn’t my twin brother! Long time no see.”
. . .
Hannah had been in charge of making sure that Daniel was properly awake. They’d been in the en suite bathroom—seriously, what school has personal bathrooms in its dorm rooms?—for ten minutes.
Blake had placed all the chairs in the room next to Daniel’s bed. Michael was trying to get WI-FI on his phone. Emma had the kettle going to make tea. Meanwhile, I was sitting in the furthest chair and attempting to look unassuming.
“Is this room nuts, or what?” Emma said to break the tangible silence.
“It’s like a hotel room!” Blake agreed. “Flat screen TV, giant bed … seriously, is this a normal bed size? This is bigger than a king, I’m sure of—”
The bathroom door opened, and Hannah stepped out, her smile fake and tight. Daniel was behind her, looking puzzled and slightly apprehensive. All in all, this was shaping up to be a disaster of epic proportions. I pulled my feet up onto the chair, tucking my knees under my chin. I tried to be as small as possible.
“Guys?” Daniel asked in confusion. “What are you doing here?” He was frowning cutely—damn it, this was not the time to be finding his pout attractive!
“Nothing,” Hannah told him, putting a hand on his shoulder and guiding him toward his bed. She sat down and gestured for him to take the place next to her. The mattress dipped under their weight; I thought about how soft and comfy it must be. “We just want to talk.”
“It’s a long way to come just to talk,” he huffed, crossing his arms, the body language of a closed book. “What do we need to talk about?”
“About him,” Blake spoke up, taking a seat on Ollie’s bed and jerking his thumb in my direction. When Daniel looked at me, it was like he was really seeing me. It reminded me of the night we’d spent together at Funland or the day he taught me to surf. It was a simple connection, as easy as breathing.
Daniel held my gaze as a muscle worked in his jaw. He brought a hand up to fix his hair, letting the messy strands slip through his fingers. It was his signature move … his tell. He understood why we had come to talk with him, and it frightened him. “Well—” Daniel’s voice broke. He tried again. “I don’t know what you all think there is to talk about.”
“Come on, Daniel,” Hannah said quietly.
He shook his head and sighed. “Look, I don’t understand what you’re all doing here. I really don’t. There’s nothing going on. Nothing that needs saying. Nothing about him … or me.”
“Daniel—”
“No, Hannah,” he snapped. Daniel squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I don’t care what you think there is to talk about … it’s not true. I swear; it’s not true. I’m not stupid … you think I don’t know what this is about? You think I don’t know?”
Blake shifted forward in his seat. “Please, just hear us out.”
“No, I’m not going to sit here and listen to this,” Daniel retorted, standing up and clenching his fists so hard that I could see the veins on the back of his hands. “I know what you’re all thinking. Of course I know. You think I’m going to try to get back together with Katie or something, so you’re making this shit up. You’re just making stuff up.”
“We’re not—”
“You are! Don’t you fucking lie to me! You think I’m … you think that … you think …” Daniel faltered, looking at each of us in turn. His mouth opened and shut. He licked his lips.
The Big Summer Page 24