by J. L. Drake
“Leave me alone, Derek,” she said loudly so that he could hear. “It’s over.”
A possessive nature was a symptom of BPD, Natalie suddenly remembered. He had locked on her and no amount of persuasion would deter him. He would also want to punish her for her rejection of him. She had made several mistakes when it came to him and Natalie admonished herself for being so stupid.
He made a move toward her and she held up her phone, the display out to show she was connected to triple 0. She pressed the speaker button and Derek stepped back when he heard the operator’s voice asking Natalie if she was okay.
“Stay away, Derek, trouble only lies that way. You really should seek professional help. Just don’t call me,” she added.
Watching him cautiously, Natalie eased back into the car, once more locking her doors and began driving. She was relieved to see he didn’t follow her. She would need to be extra vigilant from now on. Derek knew where she lived and she knew he would not give up easily. She had no idea what his plan had been, but she doubted very much if she would’ve liked it.
After driving another three kilometres with her focus on her mirror, Natalie was satisfied that he was gone for the night. She put her phone to her ear and told the operator the situation had been diffused for now, and asked how she went about making a formal complaint.
The kind operator took down her name and address and said she would have an officer come and see her in the next few days to discuss her options.
Natalie thanked her and hung up, silently praying the rest of the trip home would be uneventful.
Chapter 15
Hallie lay on her bed. She couldn’t sleep, her rest disturbed. Usually by this time she was fast asleep, running and screaming, fighting for her life. Instead she stared up at the white ceiling and listened to the restful snoring of the person in the room next to her. She looked over at her roommate. Darlene was fast asleep and Hallie wished she could join her.
Natalie had told her the cops where still operating a state-wide hunt for the Butcher but the Harbour Bay LAC—or at least Matt—believed him to be still in the area. Hallie shivered and pulled up her blankets. There could only be one reason he would stick around Harbour Bay and that was her. She was the only one to survive, the only one who could ID him. Although, she didn’t know what he had to fear from her. She had given the police everything years ago and that hadn’t helped. He was still free to kill.
Hallie felt like he was punishing her, keeping her in fear. Because of him, she had stayed hidden. Afraid that one day he would find her and kill her exactly like he murdered her mother. Late at night, when the world was dark and silent, Hallie felt the cold steel of his blade against her skin which only made her cower more.
The blood of the women he had killed was on her hands. If she hadn’t allowed her fear to consume her, if she had fought against her mind harder, refusing to give up, the Butcher might be behind bars by now. Countless women would still be alive and she—well, she had no idea what she could be doing. Natalie was right. She did blame herself for her parents’ deaths even though her logical mind told her there had been nothing she could’ve done to save them. She had hated herself for so long for running, for surviving.
There had been a time, during her most dark moments, when she had wanted to die. Now she was thankful she was still alive and realised just how valuable her life was, how precious any life was.
Her own life would never be easy. Even if she was to combat the PTSD, to finally be able to accept the past, Paradise Valley carried a stigma that would follow her for the rest of her life. She would never be normal. There wouldn’t be a person alive who would not hear her name and know her history. She imagined the looks of pity and closed her mind on them. She couldn’t help her past but she could change her future.
She still feared the day she might come face to face with the Butcher once more but for the first time, the very acknowledgement didn’t incapacitate her. In fact she felt stronger, almost ready for the confrontation.
Hallie sat up. Sleep once more evaded her as thoughts spun around her head. Wrapping her blanket around her slender body, Hallie stood, the cold tile floor chilling her feet. She listened to the silence, only tarnished by the slight snores of a fellow inmate and Darlene’s shallow breathing. She shivered again as she thought two things—that Paradise Valley was as quiet as a tomb and as cold as death.
Hallie moved towards the window and looked out at the darkness. Since her parents’ deaths five years earlier she had changed a lot. She wondered if her parents would even recognise her today. At twelve she had cared nothing but freedom and independence. After years of being locked up, her basic human rights and privileges thrown out the window, she had become a shadow of her former self.
The state had provided her with books and learning tools and four hours each day she studied, which in her wacky life was the only sense of normalcy she had, providing her with a safe haven. Having been on the road most of the school year she had often been home-schooled, learning to cope without teachers and other support opportunities students got. Luckily for her she had adapted well and her studies hadn’t suffered. Today, she was well ahead of others her age. Her appetite for knowledge was insatiable and only hindered by the fact she couldn’t leave the hospital’s grounds. There was so much she wanted to do and experience and wondered if she would get the chance.
She listened to the thunder rumble in the sky. Once the sound had scared her but now it no longer bothered her. A lot of things frightened her but that was no way to live a life. There was a whole world out there and she desperately wanted to be a part of it. With that thought, Hallie opened the file Natalie had given her and took a deep breath.
Then she began to read.
Chapter 16
Matt pulled his unmarked grey Holden Commodore into Natalie’s driveway and made his way to her front door. He knocked and waited a minute before he tried again. After a few minutes he realised she was probably engrossed in her work and he moved around to the side of her house and stepped through the gate to her backyard. He spotted her right away. She was sitting at her dining table facing him. Her head was down and she was studying the papers displayed in front of her.
Her brunette hair was loose and spilled over her shoulder and she was dressed in sweat pants and a Harbour Bay Seagulls shirt, the local basketball team. He couldn’t help but think she looked absolutely delicious.
You’ve got to stop thinking that way, Murphy, he chastised himself.
He stepped closer to the window, his face almost against the glass. His shadow fell over the table. Natalie glanced up as she sensed the change in light and looked in his eyes. Her eyes widened and she screamed right before her hands covered her mouth.
He jumped back from the window and waved at her. He saw the look of recognition enter her eyes and she lowered her hands, straightening out the imaginary wrinkles in her shirt as she did. She then pointed towards her front door. He nodded and she walked out of room.
Matt retraced his footsteps back to the front door and arrived just as she opened the door. He flashed her a sheepish grin before dragging his hand through his hair, feeling the shaggy length. He really needed to get a haircut.
“I’m sorry for scaring you. I guess you didn’t hear me knock,” he said.
Natalie shook her head and crossed her arms under her breasts before leaning against the doorjamb. “No. I didn’t.”
He frowned, remembering the reason he had come to her home.
“Heard you had some trouble last night.”
Natalie raised an eyebrow. “Did you now? I suppose you’re the officer sent with the paperwork?”
“I volunteered. Are you all right?” he asked. He didn’t care if his tone was more personal than professional. He looked her up and down. He caught sight of the fading bruise, hidden beneath a light coating of foundation, and he felt a rage unlike he had known before boil inside him.
Natalie blushed. “I’m fine, Detective, thank you.�
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“Let me guess, you walked into a door?” he said, with a trace of sarcasm.
Natalie briefly touched her bruise which was a garish yellow. He knew in a few more days it would be gone.
“I handled it,” she replied simply.
“So who’s the jerk?” he demanded.
Matt pulled out his notepad. He wanted to know everything about the dirt-bag including where he could find him. He had a few ideas about teaching the bastard how to properly respect a woman. He had been livid when he’d found out Natalie had been so terrified that she’d called triple 0. His mind had leapt bounds as he feared for her safety and that sick feeling had lasted the drive over until he had seen for himself that Natalie was all right.
Natalie looked past his shoulder, her eyes unfocused. “Derek Butler. We went out a couple of times. I broke it off when I realised it would never go anywhere. My issue, not his, and obviously he didn’t take it well.”
She fell into silence and he wondered at what was going through her head.
“We all make mistakes,” he said softly.
Natalie met his eyes. “Yes, but I should’ve seen it.”
“Do you know how many times I’ve said the same words? Unfortunately we aren’t perfect.”
She gave him a sweet smile and his heart kicked up a notch and his stomach fluttered. He seriously had to get a grip on himself. Otherwise, before he knew it, he would have her beneath him and doing each and every thing he had fantasised doing with—and to—her. As much as he wanted that, he still had a case to solve and she was a distraction he couldn’t afford.
“Would you like me to have an officer drive by?” he asked as he moved away from the idea of her stretched out in bed, waiting, beckoning to him. It could only bring trouble. “We can let our presence be known. I’ve found that to be the most effective deterrent.”
Natalie shook her head. “That won’t be necessary, Detective. He’s just one man, not an army. I wouldn’t even bother filing a report if I wasn’t worried about the next woman he becomes obsessed with.”
He frowned. “He’s one of those, you think?”
Matt had dealt with men who couldn’t give up the idea of one woman. Every subsequent woman was usually a carbon copy of the last and when the fantasy didn’t work out they became physical. The thought of someone getting rough with Natalie had his stomach knotting painfully.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked. Steel underlined his words. He couldn’t help it being heard. He was pissed off and if he ever found the man who’d laid a hand on her he would rip the man’s balls off and feed them to him until he choked. “Other than your cheek?”
“No. I got rid of him pretty quick after that.”
He nodded sharply and his hands became fists. He forced himself to relax. “If you see him again I want you to call me first, you understand?”
Natalie shot him a look. “I don’t anticipate that being a problem anymore, but should I see him again, your number will be the first I’ll dial. Happy, Mr. Testosterone?”
Matt made himself calm down and gave her another sheepish look. What had gotten into him? Well, he knew the answer to that. She was standing right in front of him, her hands crossed beneath her breasts and he wondered if she realised the action caused her breasts to plump. He knew he did. He hadn’t been aware of much else since.
“Sorry, I just can’t stand those who beat women. It makes me angry and sick.”
Natalie smiled and patted his arm lightly. “That’s because your mother raised you right.”
His mother hadn’t really raised him. He’d raised himself. His mother had been too wrapped up in her grief coma for active parenting. He didn’t blame her. In fact he was in awe of just how much she had loved his father. Enough to never look at another man and he wondered if he would ever experience the same feeling. Hell, he swore silently. He was already halfway there. Natalie had gotten under his skin big time. He still looked at other women. He would be a fool and a liar to say he didn’t. But he only ever thought of being with just one.
“Will you be okay? Would you like me to stay for a while?”
Natalie swallowed. “I would. But I think it best that you don’t.”
He nodded, his mouth dry. “Yeah. I agree. Call me if you need anything.”
“I will, thank you.”
Matt found it difficult to walk away. He was looking forward to the day the case closed for two reasons. The first being the Butcher would finally be behind bars where he belonged. The second was so that he could finally ask Natalie out. He was seriously having trouble keeping his distance.
He handed her a folded piece of paper he’d retrieved from his back pocket. “When you’re done, just fax it over. The number is on top. Any questions—”
“I’ll call you,” Natalie finished as she unfolded the sheet and glanced down. “It all looks fairly simple and straightforward.”
Matt hesitated. He really didn’t want to leave her. Especially knowing there was a man out there who considered her his possession. He would get Nick and Dean to dig into this Derek Butler’s background. If Natalie thought he’d do it again it was more than likely she wasn’t his first.
“Goodbye, Matt,” she said as walked him to his car.
He climbed in behind the wheel and started the engine. She waved to him as he drove down the street. He shook his head. That woman had seriously done a number on him. He headed back to the LAC, suddenly motivated to get some work done.
Chapter 17
“I read the file,” Hallie said as soon as Natalie entered the interview room. “It wasn’t easy. In fact, I felt like I was being flayed alive.”
Natalie blinked at the sudden ambush. She studied Hallie as she took her seat and got comfortable. “How do you feel now?”
Hallie shrugged. Her red-brown hair rested on her shoulders and her body was poised with a quiet calm. Natalie hadn’t been sure what to expect. She should have known Hallie would triumph. She was strong, resilient, and determined. If Hallie put her mind to something there would be nothing that would stand in her way.
“Fine I guess. Numb maybe. What am I supposed to feel like?”
“There is no wrong answer to that and numb is an understandable response,” Natalie advised. “Did the nurses have to calm you?”
Hallie shook her head. “No. I was surprised. It took me a while but I got through it. When I first started reading, I felt sick. There was no escape. My mind couldn’t retreat and I was made to accept what I read and as I did, my memory became clearer, sharper. I remember being in the foot-well of the car and hearing the brakes squeal against the road. It was like all my senses came alive.”
Natalie listened to Hallie as she reiterated how she had felt each precise moment, her memory so detailed, Natalie had no issues with imagining the scene. She watched as Hallie breathed through her distress, her rage now contained and no longer tactile. It appeared to Natalie she had made the right choice, having Hallie confront that night. She had faced her fear, accepted the truth and could now move on. She was still young and the human brain had an amazing capacity to heal. It wasn’t over but it was the first step forward.
Natalie couldn’t have been more proud. Hallie had made such strives in their short acquaintance and her sheer will kept her going. Much like it had that night, Natalie thought. She couldn’t wait to share the news with Matt, who would be overjoyed as well. They alone cared what happened to Hallie.
“What else do you remember?” Natalie prodded when Hallie fell quiet.
“Nothing I haven’t said before. Dark hair and eyes. He was tall, about the same as my father. Strong. He pulled my dad through the window of the car like he weighed nothing.”
Ian Walker, Natalie knew from the reports she had read, had been five-foot-seven and had weighed a little over a hundred kilos.
“I have the strangest sensation that I should know him. I looked at him and he felt familiar to me. But I know I don’t know him. Maybe I am crazy.”
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�You’re not crazy,” Natalie told her. “I dreamt of him once and I had the same thought, that I had seen him before. We were in the forest and I saw you running. You were so scared and all I wanted to do was save you from him, from the future I knew you would have. But it was dream and I couldn’t.”
“But you thought you knew him?” Hallie asked, her brow furrowed.
Natalie nodded. “I did at the time. I turned and saw him. He was as close to me as you are.”
“What happened?”
Natalie decided against telling Hallie the truth. She didn’t want her to know she had dreamed of him stabbing her. “I woke up. But unlike you I had been looking at the rendering the police artist had drawn from your description before I fell asleep.”
“I guess the same could be said for me too. I’ve had years of being haunted by him in my nightmares. After all this time I kind of do feel as if I know him. At least his shell.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Damn, I was really hoping I could help. You and Matt have been so great to me. I would’ve loved to give you something that would crack the case.”
Natalie reached across the table and placed her hand on Hallie’s arm.
“You have done far more than you can imagine. You gave them something when they had absolutely nothing. You keep underestimating yourself, Hallie, and you have to stop. You are an amazing woman and to think you’re only seventeen. I can’t wait to see what else you’ll do.”
Hallie blushed at the compliment. “You have more confidence than I do. It won’t matter what I do. I will always be the daughter of murdered parents or the girl who spent time in a mental hospital. I could cure cancer and my past will be all anyone will remember.”
Natalie squeezed the arm beneath her palm gently. “You’ll overcome it as you have with everything else. Remember no one in this world is untouched. No matter how perfect their lives may seem. Everyone has experienced some kind of trauma, just in varying degrees. But it’s what we do with our lives that counts.”