by J. L. Drake
Natalie knew logically she shouldn’t be mortified of what had happened to her, that it was not her fault, nor did she have any control over it but she felt it all the same as did countless other abuse victims. Her own advice always fell flat and on deaf ears. She wondered what her patients would think of her hypocritical nature. She always lectured them on the best course of action but failed to practice what she preached.
Matt had responded as she instinctively knew he would and later took her to a place she had never before visited, not once but countless times during the night. She could feel the lingering affects the vigorous activities had on her body now as she tried to move.
Natalie scooted over to the edge of the bed and wrapped a steel blue sheet around herself. Matt had left the bed no more than twenty minutes ago and she had heard him in the shower down the hall before she’d fallen back asleep. Now she could smell bacon and coffee wafting towards her from the direction of the kitchen.
Before long she found herself in the kitchen staring at Matt’s back as he stood in front of the stove. He turned around when he sensed her behind him.
“Morning.” He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek. Natalie breathed deep, inhaling his scent. A combination of male, earth, and soap. Her stomach fluttered as it always did when he was near. She wondered if she would ever get used to his presence and then hoped she never did. She liked this feeling of new discovery and eagerly awaited the next.
She yawned. “Morning.”
He grinned, obviously remembering why she was so tired. He looked extremely pleased with himself, as if her inability to stay awake was proof of his manhood.
Natalie couldn’t help but smile. He was good for her.
“I was going to serve you breakfast in bed but you ruined that by getting up.”
“Sorry,” she replied as another yawn overtook her.
Matt shrugged. “No worries. You looked so damn cute asleep I didn’t want to wake you.”
She blushed. “Last night was the first time in days that I was at ease when I slept. I felt safe. Thank you.”
For more than you know, she silently added. She watched him deftly flip the fried eggs before he turned his attention to pouring a mug of coffee for her from the carafe. He turned around and watched as she sat down on the stool by the kitchen bench. The sheet was precariously wrapped around her body and he was no doubt praying it would undo itself. If she was honest with herself, she was kind of hoping it would too. Now that her body had been awakened, she was eager to explore more, the previous night merely just a taste.
Once safely seated, Matt handed Natalie her coffee. She glanced up at him. “So is breakfast special for me or is this how you treat all your lady friends who spend the night?”
Natalie wished she could take back the words as soon as she’d said them. They had sex. That was all. They had made no promises. The afterglow of sexual release dulled and reality re-emerged. She wasn’t at all good at the morning after and insecurities began to flood her mind. Natalie had been so sure she could handle last night objectively but now she wasn’t so sure. She wanted more. How much more, she wasn’t entirely sure.
Matt had come into her life and had flipped it upside down. She didn’t know what she would do if he ever chose to leave. This feeling was exactly why she had erected that wall and kept people at a distance. Last night, the emotions had heightened her experience. Now they only served to remind her just how vulnerable and easily broken her heart could be if she allowed Matt in.
Matt raised an eyebrow. “You’re special. Don’t ever think otherwise. As for breakfast. Truthfully, it’s been so long I can’t even remember.”
Natalie smiled. In just a few words he had temporarily soothed her. Later, her mind would begin to over analyse and put her back into a state again. That was when she focused on other people’s problems and ignored her own. She had majored in sticking her head in the sand. It is so much easier that way, she reflected. So much safer.
“So,” Matt said, rocking back on his heels. He was dressed for work in a pair of black dress trousers and a cream coloured shirt. His tie hung down his solid chest, the knot loose.
Natalie took a sip of coffee and looked at him. She was surprised at what she saw. A combination of uneasiness and sheepishness. He was obviously uncomfortable about the subject he was about to bring up.
She smiled at him in an attempt to put him at ease. “So?”
“About last night.”
Natalie’s heart suddenly pounded hard in her chest.
“Yes. The worst three words in history. Go on.”
He grinned at her. “I just wanted to clear the air. I certainly didn’t plan on it but I certainly don’t regret it.”
“That’s good because I don’t regret it either,” she replied, her mouth dry from the confession.
“I like you, Natalie, and I want to see more of you.”
“I think you’ve seen all there is to see, Detective.”
His gaze drifted over her sheet clad form. When he spoke again his voice was husky. “You know what I mean. I want a relationship with you.”
It wasn’t a declaration of love but that was all right. She wasn’t there either. But she felt the relief immediately and felt boneless. She was afraid she would slide off the stool and become a puddle on the floor. All her insecurities washed away. He wanted her. She wanted him. It felt right—natural. She nodded, surprised at how easily she gave him the power to destroy her.
Trust. Faith. Hope.
“I’d like that too,” she agreed. “There’s something about you, Matt Murphy. I’ve protected myself for so long and yet I trust that you will keep me safe despite having no tangible proof that I won’t get hurt. It scares me a little.”
“And it humbles me, Natalie. Don’t ever think that I don’t understand the significance of you sitting at my kitchen bench wearing nothing but my sheet.”
Natalie nodded and swallowed hard. Meaningful conversations first thing in the morning was not a habit of hers and she was feeling as if she’d just gone through an emotional whirlwind. She had jumped from one emotion to the next and now felt utterly drained and it was barely seven-thirty.
Matt placed the plate of fried eggs, bacon, and toast before her.
“But for now I have to focus on the case.” He leaned over the kitchen bench and kissed her on the mouth. “Just don’t forget me while I’m working.”
Yeah, like she had any hope of doing that.
The man’s body was imprinted in her mind forever. All that sinewy muscle and taut stomach, narrow hips and huge…she was getting aroused just by thinking about him. There was no way she could ever look at him again without seeing his naked body underneath his clothes.
“After last night, you don’t have to worry,” she said.
A satisfied grin appeared on his face. “You don’t say.”
Chapter 28
Matt sank down into his desk chair. Hell, he could do with another couple hours sleep. His eyes stung from being open and only the copious amount of coffee he’d drunk was keeping them that way. He pinched the bridge of his nose. Was he actually complaining? Last night was the best thing that had happened to him in years and he was wishing he had gotten more sleep?
He shook his head. Dumb arse. He still couldn’t get over Natalie’s faith in him. She of all women had reason to be cautious and yet she had offered herself to him. He was scared shitless of messing it up. He didn’t want to hurt Natalie but his track record with women was sketchy at best. He may have the gentle touch but in his experience someone always ended up hurt. He would give his left nut to ensure it wasn’t her.
There’s something about you, Matt Murphy, Natalie’s words played in his mind. I trust that you will keep me safe.
He would too. No matter what.
Natalie was special. A unique jewel that had been hidden from the world for so long and he was the lucky bastard to have discovered it. When he’d imagined the moment they would come together he hadn’t eve
n been close. Last night had been amazing and that first kiss had thrown him for a loop. He had felt something he couldn’t begin to describe but didn’t question. It was all part of his feelings for Natalie. From the moment he had met her he’d been attracted to her. Physically at first. Then later, when he’d gotten to know her better, he’d wanted the whole package—scars and all.
Hell, they all had insecurities. He just wasn’t good at identifying them in himself and spent little time self-reflecting. He did know he wanted Natalie Miller and cursed the case he’d been handed. He would’ve liked nothing more than to request leave so he could spend some quality time with the woman who had overrun his life and thoughts and figure out if they could be something more. He wasn’t used to thinking long-term and had vowed not to let himself be tied down but Natalie was different. She was a kindred soul and he knew if he could ever make a relationship work, it would be with Natalie.
He had no idea why he was so adamant but he trusted his gut and it was telling him not to stuff it up. All he had to do first was close the Butcher case so he could focus on Natalie.
He found himself smiling just thinking of her.
Darryl appeared at his side. He was dressed like he had slept in his clothes and Matt wondered if his partner had ever made it home last night. Darryl’s eyes were bloodshot and there was a beginning of a five o’clock shadow on his jaw.
“Been looking for you,” he said in way of a greeting.
“What’s up?”
Darryl looked at him and cocked an eyebrow. “Long night?”
Matt wondered if Darryl had heard about Natalie showing up at the LAC and how they’d left together. Of course he had. Nick would have gladly shared the news—him or one of his cohorts. Matt shot his partner a look that told him to drop it. Darryl took the hint.
“There was another murder last night.”
“Shit.”
If Natalie thought ‘about last night’ were the worst three words in history, Matt was adding ‘there was another murder’ as the worst four.
He grabbed his jacket and followed Darryl out the door.
***
The crime scene was an image straight out of Home and Garden. All except for the blue and white chequered crime scene tape bordering the house and the four police cars and coroner van parked out front. The day started off so well, Matt thought as he got out of his Commodore and took in the scene.
The inquisitive neighbours were all out taking in the sights, some talking to uniformed police officers. He watched as the local channel news van pulled up at the kerb, the cameraman immediately hoisting the camera to his shoulder and followed the made-up reporter to the best filming sight. The reporter checked her face and hair in a compact mirror before informing her viewers about the newest murder.
Matt blocked out the reporter’s voice and moved into the house. He noted the same forensic team that had been at Natalie’s were currently dusting for fingerprints and checking for signs of forced entry. Darryl followed behind him as they found their way to the bedroom where the activities of the night had been. The bed sheets were crushed and the comforter half hung off the bed. Two pillows lay on the floor near the deceased’s hand. She looked vaguely familiar to him as his detectives gaze ran over the body of the once beautiful woman.
Her blonde hair was spread out from her head covering the carpet and she was in an almost foetal position, her hands out wide from the torso. Her night clothes were drenched in blood as was the carpet surrounding her. Matt could count the stab wounds from where he stood and noted it hit double digits. Her throat was exposed and her head had almost been severed from her neck.
It was a ghastly sight and he struggled to keep his breakfast down. Even a seasoned detective like himself found it hard at times and he was sure his skin held a slight green twinge. He wasn’t embarrassed. He was slightly thankful to still have that reaction. It told him he could still be shocked and sickened and that the day to day shit he saw hadn’t desensitised him. Matt figured there would be nothing worse than to look down at the victim and feel nothing.
She had fought. The clock and bed side lamp had been knocked from the small table by her bed. Two of her manicured nails had been broken and Matt hoped she had gotten a piece of her killer. Not that it would do them any good if they had nothing to match it to.
Just you wait, you bastard, I’ll get you. I promise you that.
Matt stepped back, away from the body. He could smell the stench of blood and excrement and the always distasteful flavour of the body as it began to ripen and decompose.
He moved around the house taking notes. The doors and windows had not been forced. Matt doubted if she would have let the man into her house at this time of night. From the profile they had created, he certainly wasn’t the type an attractive woman like the victim would’ve been having an affair with. Matt assumed he had copied her key or found her spare.
The rest of the house was untouched, the massacre contained to the bedroom. He had been alone with her for some time and Matt knew she hadn’t died quickly and it certainly hadn’t been painless. He knew how she must have suffered and how scared she must have been. He once again declared to find the son-of-a-bitch.
Darryl walked over to him. “Thirty-eight stab wounds, can you believe it? The bastard is escalating. Two murders in just over a week. He’s never killed so close before. He’s gotten comfortable here.”
Matt was angry. He wanted to lash out. He felt impotent. He was no closer to finding the killer and now the bastard was taunting him with his kills as if to say ‘look what I can do and you can’t stop me.’
“I have to make a phone call.”
He started to walk away. Darryl spoke. “Calling your doctor lady?”
Matt nodded curtly. “Something you want to say, Hill?”
Darryl appeared to consider the question before shaking his head.
“No, I think you already know what a dumb arse idea it is getting involved with her right now so I’ll let you be.”
Darryl walked off to ask the forensics team a couple of questions. Matt stepped outside the house. The sun had set since he had last been outside and it felt rather eerie to be standing at the site of such a violent crime, the victim still inside. It was rather like being at a cemetery at night. He felt the chill go down his spine.
Matt thought about what Darryl had said as he dialled. Yes, he knew how much he had fucked up when he had spent the night with Natalie. But looking back he knew he still would’ve slept with her. He would take the shit thrown at him for doing so and any reprimands also. So long as Natalie was there when it was all over was the only thing that mattered to him. He heard the phone ring in his ear and knew she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.
Chapter 29
Natalie looked about her bed, at the files spread across it. She had taken all the folders with her when she had left Matt’s house earlier. She was determined to break this case. There was something nagging at her in the back of her mind. Something she had overlooked. Something that when revealed everything would make sense.
She tapped the closest file with her fingernails, impatiently. Something wasn’t right. She felt cold. Frustration welled inside her at not being able to grasp what it was that her mind was screaming at her. She thumped the mattress with her fist, losing her temper. Natalie knew she was missing something. A pivotal piece to the puzzle.
She pulled her laptop closer and typed Ian Walker’s name into Google. Over a million results appeared. He seemed to have gotten more famous—or rather, infamous—dead than he ever had alive. She scrolled through web pages dedicated to his career before moving on to the blogs about his death.
She found it interesting that he had known the first victim, Helen Teller, and that Ian and Missy Walker had died because of that association. She wondered what exactly that relationship entailed. The most obvious being a sexual one, despite what she’d said to Matt about being close friends. She had read somewhere that Ian had married Missy in 199
4, not long after they had been introduced. Which had also been the same year of Harry Teller’s birthday party when Ian had most likely been dating Helen. A year later, she would be dead.
Natalie wondered at the timing and opened up Hallie’s file and read her DOB. Ah, the good old shotgun wedding. Ian Walker was a man of principal and an illegitimate child was certainly off the cards. Natalie found it interesting that he dumped the smart business woman for the homey type. Better for his campaign and image, she thought.
Her concentration was shot to hell when her mobile phone rang. She answered promptly, having promised her patients she could talk whenever they needed.
Matt’s voice came clear through the speaker. “Natalie.”
She smiled. Memories of the previous night and morning once more returned to her. She felt as giddy as a school girl. It was another new experience. “Detective. What can I do for you?”
Had her voice been flirty? Was she even capable of sounding flirty? She hadn’t thought so.
“There’s been another murder.”
With those four few words her mind cleared. She sat up straighter on the bed. “Oh God,” she whispered. “Who was she?”
“Her name was Linda Cavanaugh.”
Linda Cavanaugh. The name didn’t ring a bell, thank goodness, but a sadness welled up inside her. Once again a senseless crime. Another woman’s life cut short because of the sickness inside one man.
“Let me guess…she was successful, driven, and accomplished?”
“Yeah. Apparently ‘Woman of the Year’ just like Helen Teller. The vote came in a couple of weeks ago. I’m going to be at the LAC all night if you need me. Where are you?”