by J. L. Drake
Natalie could feel the knife against her skin, his hand under her chin when Matt dropped to a crouch and pulled his concealed weapon from the ankle holster and shot Harry. The bullet sliced through his neck and embedded itself in the wall behind them. Natalie brought up her hands instinctively and wrapped them around her neck to protect herself, the backs of her hands taking the brunt of the cut from the blade as Harry fell to the floor. She felt the sting of the knife as it opened her flesh.
The room smelled like death and cordite. Natalie took a few steps back. Not once taking her eyes off Harry, she promptly collapsed on the floor as her legs gave out. Tears of relief and pain blurred her vision. Sobs echoed throughout the room as Matt moved toward her. His gun never wavered from the body of Harry Teller. He kicked the knife away and stared down at the body for a moment before he turned his attention towards Natalie.
Matt knelt beside her and pulled out a small knife from his back pocket and cut the duct tape. He yanked it away from her skin, leaving it red and agitated. He put his hand under her chin and moved her head gently so he could look in her eyes.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern making his voice husky. She slowly nodded, then launched herself into his arms and held him tight.
Matt hugged her back. His arms were like steel around her as if he planned to never let her out of his sight again. She could hear sirens outside, still some distance away.
Natalie sniffled. “Thank you, thank you. I was so scared. I thought I was dead. Thank you,” she repeated, the last few words inaudible as she sobbed.
He stroked her back, comforting her. “It’s okay. It’s all over. You’re safe. It’s okay. You’re all right.”
She pulled away from him and looked up him through mist. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Matt nodded. “You’re welcome.”
She smiled at him, tears falling off her long lashes to roll down her face. Matt gently swiped them away with his thumb. In the next minute her eyes widened and Matt paled in response.
“Oh God, Gary.” She got to her feet and on wobbly legs, moved towards the unconscious man on her kitchen floor some feet away.
“Who’s Gary?”
Natalie knelt beside Gary. “My stepfather.” She felt for a pulse, nodding when she found it steady. “He’s still alive.”
“I’ll get some water.”
Natalie glanced up at him. He didn’t sound happy about it. But then she knew he was remembering what she’d told him about the man. She watched as Matt walked over to the sink and started looking for a glass. She was glad he was here, for more than one reason. She shivered at the memory of being so close to death as she shook Gary. She tried to push it from her mind.
“Gary? Gary?”
Gary groaned and started to lift his head before stopping abruptly and promptly replaced his undoubtedly aching and concuss head on the floor.
“Natalie?” He sounded dazed. “I suppose I deserved that.”
Natalie shook her head. As much as she wished all those years ago to hurt Gary like he had hurt her, the reality was less than brilliant and certainly not as gratifying as one might’ve hoped.
“I’m sorry. You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Matt brought back a glass filled with water and handed it to Gary. Natalie caught the dark look on his face. Her self-proclaimed protector was ready to attack should she give him the word. She felt her stomach flip. Of all the things to get mushy over, she thought.
“Here’s some water.”
“Thank you,” he said to Matt before turning to her. “I just came here to apologise to you for my behaviour when you were a little girl. I was an alcoholic. I know it’s not an excuse but I wanted…needed you to know that I’m sober now. Have been for five years,” he added proudly.
“Congratulations,” she replied and meant it. Had it not been for alcohol she had always thought he would’ve been a half decent man.
“I quit after your mother died. I finally saw myself in a mirror and realised I didn’t like the man I’d become. Look, I know I don’t deserve it but I was hoping that sometime in the future you might forgive me.”
Natalie looked deep inside herself. “I already have, Gary.”
It was the truth, she realised, only having admitted it to her herself at that moment. Life was about the future, not the past. Nothing good ever came from holding onto painful memories.
“You have?” he asked, somewhat dubious but also hopeful.
She smiled. “Yeah, I have.”
Gary’s eyes misted. “Thank you. I’m going to be in the city for a while and I’d like for us to get together and have some lunch. When my head doesn’t feel like someone’s taken a baseball bat to it, that is.”
Matt raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the bat, close by where she’d dropped it. She caught his gaze briefly before smiling at Gary.
“I’d like that.”
“Great, lunch. It’s a date,” Gary said, as the ambulance and several of Harbour Bay’s police cars pulled up outside the house, the red and blue lights streaking through her blinds.
Natalie groaned as she realised she’d have to move. If she thought the forensics team visit had been on every one of her neighbours’ lips, she was about to go down in infamy as the worst neighbour ever after bringing a serial killer into the street followed by every member of the police force. Not that she wanted to come back to this house. She had loved it but now it was filled with bad memories and all she would be able to remember was how it had felt in those last few moments when she’d thought she was going to die.
She shivered. She never wanted to feel that way again.
“All clear, Darryl,” Matt yelled out to his partner, and Gary shuddered.
The man she assumed was Darryl entered through the front door, followed closely by a woman and two men she vaguely remembered from her visit to Matt’s office. They each wore bulletproof vests over their clothes and had their guns drawn. She shivered at the knowledge of how serious the situation was. Natalie watched as the four of them stepped gingerly into her house as if they expected the entire Manson family had taken refuge inside instead of one very dead serial killer.
She found it quite humorous. She was probably still a little hysterical but the image made her lips twitch. She glanced over at Matt. He smiled at her and for a second it seemed as if they were the only two people in the room.
He straightened. “We need to get you both to the hospital.”
Natalie glanced down at her hands. They were bloody and stung painfully. Matt motioned for a paramedic with his finger before reaching down and helping Gary to his feet. Together they started their way towards the approaching paramedic.
Matt grabbed hold of Natalie’s arm. “See you soon, okay?”
She nodded and looked up into his eyes. They were full of pain. She could see him warring with indecision. She knew that he wanted to go with her but his duty was first to his job and the case.
“I know. It’s okay,” she said. “I’ll be all right. Go do whatever it is you do. I’ll see you later.”
He stared at her for a long moment before reluctantly turning away and joining the other detectives in her kitchen for debriefing. Natalie blinked back tears and tried to be strong. She was hanging on by a thread. But she knew he had a job to do and accepted that. At least logically. Emotionally she was a wreck.
Natalie turned her back to Matt. Her dependency on him didn’t surprise her but it did worry her. She wasn’t used to needing people. Natalie made herself take a step then another. Soon, she was out in her front yard. Red and blue lights flashed brightly and a young uniformed cop was cordoning off her house with crime scene tape. It was something out of a nightmare. She heard her name and saw the waiting ambulance, Gary already tucked safely inside. Her entire body numb, Natalie started towards it.
Chapter 35
Matt watched Natalie’s dead gaze drift about his house as if seeing it for the first time. He wished she would say so
mething, anything, to let him know she was going be okay. Since picking her up from the hospital she had been quiet and it was scaring the crap out of him. He had carried the conversation, barely pausing to take a breath, afraid of the silence he knew would follow.
Matt understood that whatever she had experienced with Harry hadn’t been pleasant. It would’ve been terrifying. He cursed himself for not figuring it out sooner. It had almost been too late. Harry had had the knife against her throat. The image would never leave him.
He wanted to share her pain, her horror and fear. He wanted to hold her and help her to heal, if only she’d let him. She had almost lost her life. He would never forgive himself for that. He was the one who had drawn her into this nightmare and he wondered if she blamed him. Why not? He blamed himself. He could feel her pulling away from him and desperately tried to bridge the gap.
He had explained in the car ride home that she would be required to make a formal statement about the previous night’s events and that he had requested they wait until tomorrow. After all, what did it matter? Harry was dead. Her statement was merely a formality and would be used in his review by Internal Affairs to prove the use of deadly force was warranted and necessary.
He wasn’t concerned. Again, it was merely a formality. If there had been any issues in him discharging his weapon, Alec Harris would’ve already suspended him. He would’ve been relieved of his badge and firearm until a decision was made.
Natalie sat perched on the edge of his couch, her bandaged hands in her lap. Thankfully the cuts were shallow and would not cause permanent damage. They would heal in a couple of weeks. If only mental trauma was as easy.
She was pale and looked so lost. It broke his heart. He longed to go to her but was unsure if she wanted him to. She had made no action that told him so, or otherwise. From the moment he had shepherded her out of the hospital and into his car, she had made no sign that she was even aware of his presence.
Matt hated this. He hated feeling so damn useless. She had to be drowning in thoughts and emotion. Her house, her once safe haven, had been taken from her and now he had brought her here, a place she barely knew. He only wanted what was best for her, and he wanted to be close enough so that he could keep an eye on her for his own peace of mind. Almost losing her had made him realise just how important she was to him.
Matt wondered if he should’ve taken her to a hotel. Perhaps she would be more comfortable in a neutral place. He glanced over at the suitcase by his front door where he’d dumped it before going to pick Natalie up from the hospital. He had filled it with clothes and toiletries from her house. As it was now a crime scene, she wouldn’t be able to enter it for some time. Not that he thought she’d ever want to again. At least not for a while with the memories so fresh in her mind.
Had he made a big mistake? He watched Natalie stare silently at the wall of his living room. Had he been presumptuous to think she would want to stay with him?
“I’ll take you to a hotel,” he blurted out.
Natalie turned to face him. “Why?” she asked, her voice as fragile as she looked. “Can’t I stay here with you?”
Matt let out a deep breath and felt some of the tension leave his body.
“Of course you can. I just thought you’d be more comfortable in a hotel.”
She shook her head and glanced down at her bandaged hands.
“No. I want to stay here.”
“Okay. Can I get you anything?”
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth but it seemed the effort was too much for her and it slipped back into a frown.
“I’m fine, really, Matt. I’m just tired.”
He cursed himself for not following her to the hospital. He should’ve handed the case over to Darryl. Except he knew he couldn’t have. He was point and it was his job to finish up the case and complete the necessary paperwork, including his statement. Still, all that didn’t matter when it came to Natalie. Last night must’ve been awful for her and he wondered if she had gotten any sleep or if nightmares had kept her awake. He moved closer to her but stood far enough away that he didn’t crowd her.
“Did they give you anything to help you sleep?”
Natalie nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t want to take it. I’m afraid if I do I won’t be able to wake up. That if I dream I will be trapped.”
She stood and paced the room. Her feet dragged, her head stooped, and he smelled the antiseptic lotion the nurses had lathered her cuts with beneath the white gauze bandage.
“You need to rest.”
“I know.”
He moved over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, effectively stopping her then gently guided her to the hallway that led to the bedrooms. He was about to direct her to the spare room when she headed straight for his bedroom. He followed slowly, completely bewildered at what to do. He wanted to help her but didn’t know how or where to start. She was fragile. Did he treat her as such or did he act as if everything was normal? What did she want him to do? She was hard to read.
Matt watched from the doorway as she got comfortable on his unmade bed. Natalie closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. He could imagine what she was smelling. He hadn’t had a chance to change the sheets since their night together. Natalie opened her eyes and looked at him. There was so much emotion in those blue pools that he almost fell to his knees.
“Natalie?”
She patted the empty spot next to her, silently telling him she wanted him with her. Matt gladly crossed the small space dividing them and stretched out beside her. He pulled her into his arms gently, careful not to bump her hands. She rested her head against his chest and he could feel her warm breath through his shirt.
Her shudders shook them both as she began to sob loudly. Matt held her tighter in the comfort of his arms and kissed her head. He didn’t speak. There were no words, only actions. She cried for hours, each tear breaking his heart. He couldn’t believe how much he loved her. There would never be a day for the rest of his life that he didn’t and someday soon he was going to tell her. But not tonight. He could wait. Tonight was about healing. For Natalie to purge herself of the fear and vulnerability she had felt at Harry’s hand. Matt only hoped she felt the same about him.
Natalie hiccupped and Matt felt her relax beside him. He listened to her soft breathing that told him she was asleep and for a long while he simply watched her sleep. When he could no longer keep his eyes open, Matt snuggled against Natalie, inhaling her scent and allowing himself to drift off.
Chapter 36
Natalie sat in the interview room of Harbour Bay’s Local Area Command. The four-storey, L-shaped, light mud brown imperious structure overlooked the sea-green harbour and farther out to the Tasman Sea. Originally it had served as a convict barrack and had been converted in the seventies for the growing police force.
The grounds were immaculately manicured, the grass trimmed and lush. The hedges were clipped and the garden was filled with a bright cornucopia of coloured pansies as if somehow trying to distract attention away from the monstrosity of the building.
Natalie tried to remain calm. It wasn’t as if she had anything to worry about. She hadn’t done anything wrong but still she felt nervous. She didn’t think she was ready to talk about that night. Matt squeezed her shoulder and she jumped. She had forgotten he was there in the room with her. Natalie wasn’t sure how. Since the moment he had picked her up from the hospital the day before, he hadn’t let her out of his sight. She loved him all the more for it. She liked being someone’s number one priority for a change but she didn’t lie to herself and admitted that it wouldn’t always be like this. Matt’s job was very important and she knew if she wanted to be with him she would have to share him.
Natalie smiled at his reflection in the two-way mirror on the cream coloured wall then dropped her gaze to the charcoal grey floor. She was a coward. In the past twenty-four hours, Matt had been so patient and kind to her, yet barely any words had passed her lips. Least of all the most i
mportant ones.
She remembered how Matt had held her while she’d cried the entire night. He had been so compassionate, so tender. He had given her the strength to go on. She had been so lost, so afraid, and then he had folded her in his arms and she had been found. Natalie wondered if Matt had any idea how much his presence in her life had changed her. Probably not. Men weren’t known for deep contemplation.
She was definitely in love with him. Now all she needed to do was tell him. Her stomach fluttered with apprehension and not from the approaching interview. She had never once put her heart on the line and Matt had the power to crush it into a million pieces. She could only hope he was feeling even a smidgen of the same for her. They could work with that. The thought he might not be on the same page made her more afraid than when she’d been trapped with Harry. This was what she’d hoped to avoid all those years.
The door to the interview room opened and cut off all her troubled thoughts. A tall man with a crew cut stepped in and she recognised him from the night before last. The night when Harry had almost killed her. He had been one of the detectives who had stormed her house. He was dressed in a sharp suit minus the jacket which she guessed was probably resting on the back of his office chair. His serious brown eyes met hers.
“Doctor Miller, I’m Detective Sergeant Darryl Hill.”
He shook her padded hand more gently than she’d expected. She watched as he shot Matt a frown as he sank into the chair opposite her. Natalie felt her stomach clench painfully and was glad she had refused the breakfast Matt had served her. Even the coffee was souring in her belly.
Matt took the seat beside her and she caught the brief guarded look the other detective gave him. He obviously didn’t like the fact Matt was sitting in on the interview. She wondered why. Surely he was the best qualified person since he had been there to witness some of the evening’s events.
But then, what did she know?