by Melissa Blue
She opened her eyes to glare toward the door. The voices faded as they moved farther away. The man she’d talked to last night and the man they were gossiping about were one in the same. He was called Jake the Rake for a reason. What he did in his spare time should have been none of her business. She really didn’t want to know anything about the parents who came through her doors as long as it didn’t hurt any of her kids.
But Jake’s serial dating, the absence of a mom without a simple difference in family dynamics, like two dads, and it was so her problem. Her goal was to ready Jayden for the 1st grade. Emotional nuclear bombs stood in the way of that.
She tried to close her eyes again and get back to peace, but she couldn’t. Fucking Jake Polaski.
As though she thought him into existence her phone dinged with an email alert—an email from him with the subject line HOMEWORK QUESTION. There was also an attachment.
His email was all question marks. Confused, she looked at the photo then laughed. The assignment involved had pictures that depicted simple words like “cat” or “bat.” The one Jake had sent was a man sitting in a chair and an arrow pointed to their lap. As an adult, it didn’t take much to make one’s mind fall face first into a gutter.
A smile on her face, she hit REPLY
I can see why there might be some confusion. The correct answer is “sit.”
Almost immediately she received a response.
Oh. Good. I was sure the answer was obvious, but Jayden and I were confounded.
Confounded, indeed, she almost wrote back but settled on:
Like I said, never hesitate to email me if you have any questions.
He finally sent her back a thumb’s up emoji.
All she could do was frown at the email chain. Logically she knew people could be really amazing at one thing, while sucking at everything else. But how could this man be such a good father and have such a shit reputation with the people he dated? Was that why there was no mother in the picture? The mystery dug under her skin.
She worried her lip then opened Facebook. Bailey hesitated after clicking into the search bar.
“It’s none of my business.”
As though her fingers had a mind of their own, she typed in his name. She made a face as the results popped up. There were a lot of Jake Polaskis, but not the one she was looking for.
“Serves me right.”
She sat back in her chair, crossing her arms. In time, Jake might tell her the truth. She’d offered her help and that more times than she could count had been the deciding factor for kids and parents to confide in her.
And maybe he’d never tell. His decision. One she should be so fine with. Whenever Jake decided to tell Jayden the truth, whether that would be high school or college, there’d likely be a therapist on standby. Jayden would turn out just fine.
The rosy lies settled on her for a full minute, but that damn itch under her skin…She groaned then opened other tabs to continue the search. After a few more minutes, and only finding bupkis, she started to close her laptop. Her gaze caught on a link to a news article. She checked the time. She could spare a few more minutes to read the piece.
Bailey lost her breath at the lede, “Date night ends with an orphaned child and unexpected parenthood for local Jake Polaski.” She gobbled up the rest of the article from Rhode Island. The only thing to save her was the ringing of the school’s bell.
She had to get her kids while trying to wrap her mind around the possibilities. The only pictures that accompanied the article were the skeletal remains of a scorched, wrecked car. Maybe it wasn’t even him. The New England she’d heard in his voice could be Connecticut or her just reading too much into his timbre.
Yet, the story made a terrible sense if it was. In one night, he’d lost his brother, his sister-in-law and became the sole provider for his six-month-old nephew.
Bailey closed her laptop, hoping that physical closure could do the same to the emotions roiling inside her. But how could she look at him and not think, he’d lost his family and gained one all in one day? How could she not imagine the years that passed being a father to a boy who was and wasn’t hers?
God. She hoped what she read wasn’t him, but if it was…
How was she supposed to ever face Jake again?
Chapter Four
Jake stepped into the school’s elevator. The scent of lavender assailed him. His gut tightened. Ms. Thorne gasped, her gaze wide then wild as she tried to look at anything but him. Her hands gripped the box of supplies she carried.
A bitter satisfaction filled him, because he been right—she had been avoiding him for the past month. Anytime he dropped off Jayden and he stopped to talk to her face to face, she always said, “I’m so sorry. Right now time is tight. Email me?”
He would and their interaction would be dry as week-old bread. Now, with a rare day off work during the weekday, he had come to school after hours to ask her if he’d done something or just to find out WTF? He’d thought they had moved past her reticence with him after Back to School night. He had even started to look forward to the school year with her as Jayden’s teacher. Every day Jayden had come home from daycare happy and full of Ms. Thorne stories.
He hated dancing around the truth, at least with everyone but Jayden. “I would ask if you had a moment, but I’m pretty sure once we’re out of this elevator you’ll disappear into smoke.”
The way her gaze flew to the doors almost made him want to hit the emergency stop button.
She cleared her throat. “What do you need?”
“I need to know why you’ve been avoiding me.”
Her brows shot up as she pursed her lips. He knew a lie would fall out next. Jake waved his hand. “Just tell me.”
The elevator rolled to a stop and dinged to let them know they’d made it to the second floor. She stepped forward, likely intent to make a run for it, but the doors didn’t slide apart. He frowned and punched the OPEN button. He gave it two seconds before he did it again. Nothing happened. He jabbed the button a few more times for good measure.
She gaped at him. “Please tell me you’re hitting the CLOSE button.”
He infused all the calm he could find in his voice. “Are you claustrophobic?”
“No.” Her brown eyes widened, alarm darkening the shade in degrees of realization. “Why?”
“That’s good, at least. And the answer is no. I’m hitting open.” He checked for a panel where an emergency phone might be, and there wasn’t any on either side of the doors. He dug out his cell and punched the 9 for a speed dial.
“911, what’s your emergency?” a female voice said.
After answering the dispatcher’s list of questions that made it clear no one was in immediate danger, he was told the wait time. He ended the call then took in his son’s teacher. Her eyes were still wide, but she wasn’t hyperventilating. Another good sign.
He said, “Good news first or bad news?”
She put down the box of supplies. When she straightened, she squinted at him then up toward the heavens. A second later, her chuckle echoed in the small space then finally she plopped next to the box of supplies on the floor.
He laughed, loving her dramatic attitude to the shit news “It’s going to be an hour wait, at the least.”
“I’m so glad I went to the restroom before all this and changed into my Chucks.”
Jake let his gaze rove over her. Purple tulips decorated the white shirt. Her slacks were a soft gray, but her shoes were the most interesting. They looked like she’d let kids decorate the black material, and given her occupation, she probably had. There was SpongeBob, more SpongeBlob, flowers and hearts.
Anyone checking out her shoes would assume the woman attached had a fun streak a mile wide. Except, she was squinting at him again. He followed her lead by sitting on the floor. His legs reached hers on the opposite side. She didn’t flinch away from the touch. He’d take that as a sign she’d resigned herself to being stuck with him for the foreseeabl
e future.
“So…” he said. At her groan, he almost smiled. “Why were you avoiding me?”
She met his gaze and something in it he couldn’t identify made his stomach knot.
“What’s your brother’s name?” she murmured.
He swallowed, his heart hammering. Jayden didn’t know about his brother. No one at the school knew he had one. “What do you think you know?”
She clasped her hands on her lap. “I think I know your brother’s name is Benjamin Polaski. He was married to Monique. They both died in a car crash on a date night, leaving behind a six-month-old son.”
He closed his eyes as the truth washed over him. “And?” he rasped.
“I’m so sorry, Jake, both about your family and being nosy enough to dig that information up. I wish I hadn’t—”
Despite the sincerity in her tone, his eyes snapped open, anger simmering in his chest. “Then why did you?”
Her teeth worried what was left of her red lipstick. “I never learned to leave well-enough alone.”
Some part of him relaxed at the utterly human answer. And maybe, he relaxed because her reaction had been to avoid him once finding out the truth. That was…better than pity. That emotion was why he kept the truth to himself. He didn’t want to know what anyone’s reaction would be once they found out he was only Jayden’s dad by default, and by choice. What would they think once they figured out he was a walking healed—barely—wound? She offered sympathy. The emotion settled on him like a lead weight he couldn’t shake off. “Losing my brother and sister-in-law sucked.”
She bit her lip and he had to laugh. She dug up his past with an Internet search, and yet she still didn’t feel comfortable asking him nosy ass questions. “At some point you’re going to have to stop being shy with me, you know that right? We’re about to be stuck with each other for who knows how long.”
“You really want me to ask you anything at all?”
“And like I told you that first day, you can ask.”
“But you may not answer.” She tilted her head and narrowed her gaze. “What was it like, to suddenly be a dad?”
His shoulders lowered. “Honestly, I had babysat often enough it wasn’t like bootcamp, which helped those first few months.” He’d been in a fog for at least three of them. “He was too young to understand what happened, so he cried a lot for his parents. It was tough.”
“And you?”
“It was tough,” he simply repeated.
She chewed on that. “When do you plan to tell Jayden?”
The question punched him in the gut. “I don’t know. I’ve started to talk to him about death as best as he can understand it at his age. He gets his grandparents are gone. I want to believe he’ll have the same reaction to finding out about Ben and Mo, but…”
His son’s teacher nodded like she understood his choice, but did she really? Could anyone?
She held his gaze again. “Mo? Black woman?”
A memory dredged up and he had to chuckle. “As she would say, ‘Super Blackity Black.’”
This time there was no hesitation when she asked, “Why adoption?”
He pulled his legs up to rest his forearms on his knees. “My brother didn’t leave a will. Neither did my sister-in-law. I kept running up against needing proof and paperwork just to take him to the doctor.”
“Her side of the family didn’t want him?”
“Yes and no. My brother and Mo fell for each other and hard. One day he was going on a date and the next he wanted me to meet him at the courthouse. They, we all, had lost our parents at a young age. She was an only child. There were a few cousins, aunts and uncles, but they are all so spread out they haven’t gotten to see Jayden in person. It was me, and I wanted him. We stay in touch online like most families, though.”
She nodded but broke the gaze to blink rapidly. There was a sheen to her eyes like she was fighting back tears. Ms. Thorne was a softy behind her prickly, nosy parts. Her reaction was sweet and unexpected. He refused to poke at what he was feeling at that knowledge.
Her voice was so quiet when she said, “I won’t tell anyone.”
His tongue grew thick in his mouth. “Thank you.” And then a thought occurred to him, making another smile spread.
“Here I thought I would like your smile, but now I’m terrified.”
A lot of time had passed since he had to bury what was left of his family. It hurt like a son of a bitch whenever he remembered. He ached when he thought about one day having to put that same grief-wrapped burden on Jayden, and some days were harder than others. But in five years he had learned how to grab hold of living.
He rolled his shoulders to shift the weight of the past, and to live. “You now know my deepest dark secret.” He paused, for dramatic effect. “It’s only fair I get to know one of yours.”
“I’ve never seen an episode of Game of Thrones,” she answered without blinking, seeming more than happy to take the change in subject.
He scoffed. “That’s your dark secret you’ve never told anyone?”
“Kind of. Whenever people talked about it, I’d just nod along. It’s my secret shame.”
“Seriously?”
She sighed and waved her hands. “I have one. It’s just not appropriate to tell you.”
He sat up a little more, interested and the rest of the heavy conversation faded away. “Now I have to know.”
“Did you not just hear me?” her voice had gone up an octave.
“You cyberstalked me. I think we’ve crossed that line.”
She ran her hands down her face. “I knew I shouldn’t have. It was going to come back and bite me in the ass. I did not foresee this as one of the consequences.”
That gave him pause. He understood her curiosity—everyone was. Most people let it the fuck go. “Why were you so dogged? I mean, it has to be more than being nosy.”
“I can’t figure you out and it drove me a bit batty.”
Something wasn’t adding up. “Explain.”
“You’re such a great dad with Jayden…and then you’re a manwhore with a lot of people at this school. Teachers, especially.”
He shifted, uncomfortable. “I work at the hospital and then I’m here. My dating pool is a bit limited.”
“Widen it,” she said, her voice clipped. “What’s going to happen when Jayden gets a teacher you had a thing with?”
“I would like to think I’ll burn that bridge when I cross it, but there are only so many things I can avoid thinking about.” He considered all his options, and she waited quietly for his answer. He liked that.
Finally, he added, “I hope the women I’ve dated are as professional as I believed they were. They won’t take out any frustrations with me on Jayden.”
Her brows knit as she considered his answer. “I don’t think they will, but parent-teacher conferences are going to be so awkward for you.”
He shrugged. “It’s the least I deserve for shitting where I eat.”
Her gaze softened and a smile teased at the corners of her mouth. “I like your honesty.”
“See.” He pointed to her. “You didn’t have to avoid me for a month.”
The softness in her eyes shifted, hardened a little. “I didn’t want to poke a sore spot, and I’m not good at hiding my guilt.”
Confused, he tilted his head. “That’s a good trait to have.”
“But what about the day I’m recruited in Ocean’s 9?”
And that was when he knew he really, really liked her. Humor was her deflection of choice too. “Is that your deep, dark secret? You have a Leverage fantasy?”
“Kind of.”
“We had a deal and…” He checked the time on his phone. “We still have at least thirty minutes and that’s being optimistic.”
She made a face. “I kind of hoped you would forget that.”
“Never.”
She huffed. “Fine. My best friend in college had this uncle, a step-uncle if you want to be technical. He was our
age. Sometimes he’d hang out. I don’t believe in shitting where you eat. But then, she went off to Europe for a summer abroad. I slept with him every day until she came back.”
His blood heated. He couldn’t be sure if it was a possessive emotion, a lust-filled one or both. She wasn’t some innocent. He so wanted to know everything she might want to do. Had to be her scent clouding his thoughts. In the enclosed space, it didn’t cloy but surrounded him.
No. Dammit. Keep the conversation light. “That confession is only slightly more impressive than the GoT one.”
Her nose wrinkled. “I can’t believe I told you that.”
“I can’t believe that’s the darkest secret you have. It’s so…meh.”
She gasped, clearly offended. “Hey.”
Jake did his best to swallow the laugh. “I’m just saying that’s a letter to Playboy during a slow publishing month.”
“Thankfully it wasn’t a competition about who had the darker secret.”
The wound oozed at her poke, and that made the lightness between them dim. Wanting that feeling back but knowing he’d kick himself if he didn’t ask, Jake said, “Am I doing the right thing by not telling him sooner?”
Her shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I can’t say.”
“I’m not asking you as Jayden’s teacher, but as a woman who has spent a lot of time around kids.”
“That’s how I was answering. It’s never going to be a good time.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck.”
She glanced at the elevator doors then tried for a smile. “Is it just me or do you think it’s so going to take them more than an hour?”
He jumped at the change of conversation like a starving man. “I think at some point they’ll have to get us out.”
“I just wanted to go home, watch some Queer Eye and go to sleep
He pointed at her. “I’m not the only one who goes to work then goes home.”
“Not always. Sometimes I’m wrangled into dates by friends. Usually I see my family on the weekend.”
His ears perked. “Family?”
“Three brothers, and they all have two girls each. My parents live the next town over so it’s always a day visit when I see them. Though since most of us live in town, they come to us. I have people.”