Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set)
Page 20
I was back at the beginning. I was given another chance to make it right. To fulfill the promises that I made to Sinclair. Now I had to hope she was wanting to fulfill them with me.
32
Sinclair
I sat on the back porch drinking the second glass of wine I’d poured since my parents left to take Alyssa to the movies. They invited me along, but I’d reached my threshold of holding it together. I couldn’t function with the weight of what I’d done hanging over me. I’d lost the man I’d loved since I was teenager because I was a selfish, insensitive idiot.
After Wyatt found out about Alyssa, I was determined to take his anger because I deserved it. I hoped that over time, I’d be able to talk to him and find a way for him to forgive me. Unfortunately, the only time Wyatt could bear to be around me was when Alyssa was there. He was always civil to me when Alyssa was around. The rest of the time he avoided me. After two weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed a respite from the tension, even if I couldn’t get away from my guilt and shame.
I made arrangements for me and Alyssa to visit my parents over the weekend.
On the drive over, Alyssa asked, “Is Wyatt going to make us leave?”
“He’s your daddy. You’ll always have a place at his house.” She’d taken to calling him Wyatt around me, which made me think she understood there was tension between us. I hated that she was trying to act in ways that didn’t upset me. I wondered if she avoided talking about me around Wyatt.
“But not you? Are you getting a divorce?”
I wanted to tell her that everything would work out, but I had no way of knowing that it would. In fact, I felt like I’d lost him for good.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen. What I do know is that your dad loves you so much. Even before he knew he was your father, he loved you. That won’t ever change. Okay?”
“He’s mean to you.”
“He’s not mean to me. He’s angry and hurt and I don’t blame him. I hope he’ll forgive me, but I don’t know.”
“I forgave you.”
I smiled at her and took her hand. “It means so much to me that you did.” It had to be different for Wyatt than for Alyssa, but I didn’t know how to explain it, so I left it at that.
When it came time to go to the movies with my parents, I knew I needed time alone to wallow. I didn’t want my parents, and especially not Alyssa, to see me come undone. Fortunately, my parents understood and took Alyssa, leaving me home alone.
I was considering a third glass of wine, when I heard a car pulling up the drive. God, are they back already? I checked my watch, but the movie hadn’t even started yet. I wanted to think it was Wyatt, but that was stupid, so maybe it was a family friend.
I stood and put my wine glass in the kitchen and walked to the front door. I stopped short when I saw Wyatt standing on the other side of the screen door.
My heart sped to a million miles a minute. Hope that he’d forgiven me sprung like a geyser even though I knew it was foolish to hope.
I pushed open the door and stepped out on to the porch. He looked different, but not better. I didn’t see the seething resentment, but the pain was there. I let out a small cry that I was the source of it.
Thinking he had to be here for Alyssa, I said, “Alyssa is at the movies with my parents.”
He nodded. “Good. I’m here to see you.”
Again, hope bloomed even though it was crazy to think he would forgive me. He gave a nod, indicating he wanted to walk and talk. I was all for that because I wasn’t sure I’d be able to hold it together if I kept looking at his pain.
I walked down the steps with him and toward the back of the house. We were heading to the old oak tree. Did this mean we were going back to the beginning to start over? Or perhaps he thought going back to the beginning was the best way to end it.
“Do you think this is where it happened?” he asked as he looked up at the oak tree. “Alyssa?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
All significant events in our relationship happened here and I was terrified it was all about to end.
“I wish I’d known. I’m sorry about that.” He let out a frustrated growl. “I missed so much.”
I wanted to soothe him, but didn’t know how.
“I won’t miss anything now. I promise.”
“I know you won’t,” I said. I wanted to ask him why he was here, but was terrified of the answer. Then I realized he wasn’t acting angry and so now was my time to tell him how sorry I was. “Wyatt?”
“Hmm?” He’d been looking out over the moonlit river, but turned to me.
“I hate myself for hurting you. Honestly, I do.”
He looked down.
“I felt terrible even as I was doing it. You were so wonderful with Alyssa. And Ryder kept telling me you had a right to know.”
“You didn’t think I did?” His voice was calm, but I could still hear the hurt.
“I knew you did. The reasons I had for keeping the secret don’t make sense now, even to me.”
“You were thinking of Alyssa. You were afraid I’d abandon her too, like I did to you.”
I blew out a breath. “Yes and no. I knew if I’d been able to find you and tell you I was pregnant, you’d have come home, so it was wrong to think you’d leave her-”
“And yet...”
“I worried about what would happen if Stark won. You left before. I guess I was just projecting my own hurt and fear. It was wrong.”
He studied me. “I’m not leaving. Ever. Or if I do, I won’t be going alone.”
Did that mean he’d take me and Alyssa with him, or just Alyssa? My heart raced in fear that he’d take her away from me.
He inhaled a breath and looked out over the water again. “We started here.”
“Yes.”
“We made a child. We had plans.”
“Yes.” I so desperately wanted to reach out to him, but didn’t feel I had the right to.
“Things didn’t quite go to plan.”
My heart sank. “I guess not.”
“I think it’s time we let those plans go, don’t you think? As you once said, we’re not infatuated high school kids.”
I looked down, struggling to keep from crying. With effort I lifted my gaze to him. “No, we’re not. But I do love you, Wyatt.”
His breath hitched and emotion swam in his eyes. “Maybe it’s time to make a new plan.”
My heart stopped as I waited in anticipation for what he meant.
“You hurt me, Sinclair-”
“I know, and I’m so sorr-”
“But I hurt you too. I hurt you and Ryder and you both forgave me. You didn’t even have to think about it.”
I bit my lip. “Ryder didn’t have to think about it. Me? I was wary, but how could I not love you again…still?”
His lips twitched upward slightly.
I took a chance. “Can you forgive me, Wyatt? Or at least tell me what I need to do to make it up to you?”
He nodded. “I forgive you.”
For the first time since he found out about Alyssa, the anvil on my heart lightened. “Where does that leave us?” I held my breath as I waited for his response.
“I don’t know. I can only tell you what I don’t want.”
I wasn’t sure how much more of the emotional roller coaster my heart could take.
“I don’t want a fake marriage, Sinclair. I want a real wife and family. I want what we planned here ten years before but not some fantasy. Life is hard. There are fuckers out there who want to hurt us. But we’re older, we’re stronger, and if we’re in it together, we can make it.”
“Oh God, Wyatt. I want that too. I want it so bad.” I couldn’t stop myself from launching my body into his arms. Thank God he wrapped me up and pulled me close.
“I love you, Sinclair. That never stopped. Not even when you broke my heart.”
I was crying as I clung to him. “I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
He lifted his head and cradled my face in his hands. “I’ll make it up to you too. I have ten years to fix with you and Alyssa, and I plan to fix every one of them.”
I felt giddy with happiness. His lips pressed to mine and finally, after breaking my own heart with my deception, I felt my heart start to heal. I clung to him, pouring all my love into the kiss. I trailed kisses over his face and neck and chanted how much I loved him.
“Shall we seal the deal?” he asked, his wicked grin at full wattage.
“It’s required.” I said, already shoving his t-shirt over his head.
Our hands were a whirl of activity as we yanked and pulled clothes off. His dick sprang out and I wanted to drop to my knees and give him the blow job of a lifetime. But he pulled me to him, and we sank together to sit on the grass, me straddling his thighs, his dick pressed between my pussy lips and his belly.
“I meant it,” he said, his hands riding up to cup my breasts. “I’m going to make up for ten years. Eventually they’ll be a blur. You won’t remember me being gone. You won’t remember the other men-”
“What other men?” I caressed his face and stared into his green eyes, searing the image of him onto my brain. I wanted to remember this moment forever.
“The other men you were with after I left.”
I shook my head. “There haven’t been other men.”
His eyes narrowed in confusion. “None?”
“Why do you think I’m still so inexperienced? That we have so many ‘next times’?”
“Oh Jesus, Sinclair.” He studied me and I wasn’t sure what was going on.
“When Alyssa got older, I went on a few dates, but none of them made me hot like you do, Wyatt.”
He dropped his forehead against mine. “I feel like a fucking cheater.”
My heart stuttered as I understood he’d been with other women. “Did you love any of them?”
He shook his head. “No.” He held my face in my hands. “My heart was always with you, Sinclair.”
“Can you promise your body will always be mine now too?”
He smiled. “Absolutely.”
“Good. Now kiss me.”
He gave me exactly what I wanted and needed. His kiss was thorough, filling my senses, making me intoxicated by the taste of him. By the love I felt for him.
He pulled back and gave me a sheepish smile. “That means I’m the only man who’s ever had this luscious, sexy, body.”
I laughed. “Yes.”
“I suppose it’s caveman of me, but that so fucking turns me on.”
“Men are so easy,” I looped my arms around his neck. “Your cum made me pregnant.” I rubbed my pussy against his hard dick.
He groaned. “Jesus, that is a turn on too.” He took my hips in his hands, and I thought he was going to lift me and thrust in. Instead, he held me still. “Do you have pictures of when you were pregnant? When Alyssa was a baby?”
My heart broke for him again at how much he missed. There was guilt too that I hadn’t thought to show him pictures before.
“Yes. I have some at the house.” I wanted him to make love to me, but if he needed to see the pictures first, I’d have gladly gotten dressed and taken him up to the house.
“I want to know what you looked like with my seed growing inside you.”
I shook my head. “I was fat. I’m still fat.”
“No, you’re not.” His gaze scanned my body. “You’re luscious and perfect.” He lifted me, and I settled over his dick, glad to finally be consummating this new part of our relationship.
As I lowered down, we both let out a long sigh. I held him tight, savoring this moment. The moment my heart finally healed.
“I love you, Wyatt. I love you so much.” I shifted so I could wrap my legs around him, using them to pull myself closer to him, him deeper inside me.
“I love you too, Sinclair. Let me show you.” Then there were no words. There were only our lips fused together, our hands caressing, our bodies dancing in sync. Each time I neared the end, Wyatt would grip my hips and hold me still.
“Not yet,” he’d whisper. For a moment, we’d simply gaze at each other, basking in the awesome power of love.
As a teen, I remembered feeling emotionally high when I was with Wyatt. This was similar to that, and yet so much more. He was right in that we were older, wiser and stronger. Now it wasn’t just the sweetness of young love. Now it was the awe and magic of a fully-mature love. It was knowing that together we could overcome anything.
Soon, I rocked again, and together we’d make the ascent, his dick pulsing with life inside me.
“Wyatt…I need to come…” My pussy throbbed. Pleasure hung just out of reach.
“Together, baby. You and me…together.” His hands gripped my hips, moving them up and down over him. My hands dug into his shoulders as my body took its final leap.
I cried out as pleasure flooded my body. “I love you.” I gasped as my body convulsed.
“Sinclair!” he yelled, bucking up and filling my body with his warmth. We continued to move, riding out the storm until sated. We simply clung to each other. This time, I knew he’d never let me go. I knew I’d never let go of him.
33
Wyatt
When I returned to Salvation and first reconnected with Sinclair, I felt like I was finally home. But until this moment, with Sinclair telling me she loved me, her body joined with mine, her committing to a real marriage, I realized I hadn’t been completely whole. Now, in this moment having all of Sinclair’s heart and soul, now I was truly home. I was fully whole.
I wanted to take her and Alyssa, my family, home, but they were there to visit Sinclair’s parents. We dressed and headed up to the house, not wanting to get caught with our pants down, literally.
“I’ll go home with you,” Sinclair said, when I expressed my disappointment. “Alyssa will have a nice visit and you and I can have time alone.” She waggled her brows.
“I suppose that would work.”
“As your mom said, newlyweds need time alone.”
I wrapped my arm around her and tugged close. “Let’s get married again. For real this time.”
She smiled, and it was so fucking bright, it could light up the world. “Okay. Can we get married at the oak tree? All the good things that happen for us happen there.”
Jesus, was it any wonder I loved this woman? “Absolutely.”
“And Alyssa can be the ring bearer or flower girl or maid of honor.”
I laughed. “I was thinking best man, but okay.”
“That’s for Ryder, don’t you think?”
I smiled. “It is. I’m here tonight because he gave me a metaphorical kick in the ass. I owe him.”
We headed back to the house where Sinclair packed up her things. “We should wait until Alyssa gets back. She’ll want to see that we’re good. She’s been worried about it.”
Guilt hit me in the gut. “Fuck. I tried to act right.”
She pressed her hand to my chest. “You did and I appreciate it. But there was no hiding your pain.”
“She didn’t think I’d leave, did she?” All of a sudden, I worried I’d messed up big time. I couldn’t have my child worried I’d leave her.
“No. She was afraid we’d divorce, but she knew you wouldn’t leave her.”
“I won’t leave you either.” I pulled her hand to my lips, kissing the inside of her wrist.
A few minutes later, a car pulled in and Alyssa rushed out to where Sinclair and I were sitting on the porch.
“Daddy!”
I scooped her up and hugged her. “How’s my gal?”
“Good. We went to see a movie. It was funny.” She looked over at Sinclair and then me. “Are you taking us home?”
My heart wept with joy. “Sort of. I’m bringing your mom home tonight so you can have your fun with your grandparents.”
I nodded to Sinclair’s parents as they came up the steps.
“I can’t come?” Alyssa asked, giving me
her pouty lip. Usually that worked on me to give her what she wanted.
“I thought we were baking cookies tonight,” Sinclair’s mother said.
Sinclair came up to me and Alyssa. “You and your grandparents have lots of fun planned. Besides, it’s just one night. We’ll come get you tomorrow.”
“Promise?”
“Cross my heart,” I said. “I’ll never leave you, Alyssa. That you can always count on.”
She grinned and gave me a hug. “Okay.”
“Alyssa, go with Grandpa inside and have him get the flour and sugar off the shelf,” Sinclair’s mother said.
“Okay.” She trotted inside behind her grandfather.
“I take it all is well now?” Sinclair’s mother asked.
I put my arm around Sinclair. “It’s perfect, Mrs. Simms.”
She smiled. “Good. Now skedaddle. I’ve got a cookie-making date with my granddaughter.”
I drove home holding Sinclair’s hand as I couldn’t not touch her. The house was dark. I could hear the TV on in my mother’s granny unit.
“We’ve got the house to ourselves,” I said. “Where do you want to start?”
Sinclair gave me a sexy smile and started upstairs.
I watched her fine ass as I followed her up the steps. Once in the room, she dropped her bag and turned to me.
“What’s your fantasy, Wyatt?”
“You are, baby.” I held her hips, wishing we were already naked. I turned her, pressing her against the closed door. “Want to fuck standing up?”
“I want to fuck every way possible.”
“Jesus, I love you.” We scrambled to get naked. I dropped to my knees, looking up at my beautiful goddess of a wife. “I used to dream about you all the time. It got me through a lot of lonely nights.”
She ran her fingers through my hair.
“But the real thing? That’s so much better.” I pushed her thighs open and ran my tongue around her clit, loving the sound of her gasp.