I could only stare at him.
“Will you stay with me tonight?” He kissed my temple.
“Yes.” I felt tears come to my eyes once again grieving what could have been if only he’d been able to trust. I probably had more of him emotionally than anyone, but it wasn’t enough if he didn’t believe me.
He kissed me and I decided to try one more time to tell him about Mason since he was emotionally raw for me.
“Simon are you sure about the procedure you took?”
He closed his eyes, and for a moment, I thought he was going to withdraw from me. “Not tonight, love. Please.”
I agreed. Afterall, he’d just committed to helping me with Mason and I didn’t have to move in with him part time in Salvation. I wanted to call Sinclair and all of them to tell them that he had it in him to be kind and generous, but I also knew, he only revealed this part of himself to me.
Instead, I pushed him over again. “Do you remember the last time I sucked your dick?”
Immediately the doom and gloom in his eyes evaporated, replaced with wicked heat. “I think I passed out.”
I ran my hands down over his long lean chest, strong from swimming. I drew them lower and lower until I could grab his dick, growing again in my hand.
“You also yelled out a string of expletives when you came. Let’s try for that again, shall we?”
“Ah fuck,” he groaned as I licked his tip, tasting of him and me.
“That’s a start.” Then I went to work.
The night was bittersweet. It was just like five years ago, except the anger and pain between us was always lingering at the edges. When morning came, I rose and showered.
When I came out, he was up and in the kitchen. He hadn’t reverted to full on-guard Stark, but he wasn’t as vulnerable as he’d been last night.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Yes please.” I checked my watch. “I need to leave soon though.”
He handed me the coffee then nodded toward the table. “Those are the papers. I’ve crossed out the bit about being married and living together six months and initialed. You can initial too. I’ve already arranged for the entire amount to be transferred to you, and put in an offer on the house.”
“Simon.” I was breathless. He was giving me everything I needed without conditions. It wasn’t like him and yet, I could see the sincerity in his eyes.
“I’m doing this because a mother who’d do anything for her son deserves to be rewarded.”
I wanted to scream at him. “He’s your son too.” Instead, I hugged him. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be heading back to Salvation today. I realized that since we flew here, your car is there. I’ll arrange for its return. In the meantime, you can drive this.” He handed me the keys with an Audi logo. “It should be safe for a child.”
I looked at him. “Do you want to see him?” I had a picture in my wallet I could show him. Maybe if he saw Mason, he’d see the part of him that he’d contributed to our beautiful child.
Simon looked down. “No. I’m sorry, I know that sounds rude, but…”
“I understand.” And I did. While it hurt, I also knew he struggled with emotional intensity.
“I’m going to shower. If you need to leave before I get out, I understand.”
In his words, I heard him asking me to be gone. Not because he was angry but because this was hard. So when he left the room, I left his penthouse, left him for the last time.
I arrived at the hospital early in the morning.
“How was the wedding?” my mother whispered as Mason slept in the hospital bed.
“I’ll tell you all about it later.”
“Do you have to leave again?” she asked.
“No. He dissolved the agreement, but still kept his end. I don’t know, mom. He was like the Simon I’d loved five years ago.”
Her eyes shone with sympathy. “Did you try to tell him again about Mason?”
“I started to but he didn’t want to hear it.”
She shook her head. “That man is moron.”
“He’s scarred too deeply. You know he told me he had a defect. That’s what he called it, but I think it’s what Mason has.”
“Ah, Ms. Edmonds,” the doctor said, entering Mason’s room. “That kid is a sound sleeper.”
“Yes, he is. Can we take him home today?” Three days seemed long enough unless he had a serious condition.
“Yes. We can confirm marfan syndrome. We have medication to help with his heart to prevent aortic dilation. He’ll need regular checkups about this. His eyes and spine look fine now, but we’ll need to watch those. Scoliosis isn’t uncommon in people with marfan. His chest looks fine too.”
“Do you need his father here? I think he has marfan too.”
“No. It’s not like we have to have a genetic match for treatment. But if he does have it, he can be a good resource to support your son. There are some lifestyle habits that are different and can be hard for children.”
“There’s no cure?” my mother asked.
“No. But we do have treatment and people can live long lives with it. We just want to be diligent.”
“Thank you, doctor.” While I worried what this meant for Mason, I was also relieved that his prognosis was good.
“We’ll get the discharge paper ready now.”
“Mommy?”
I turned to see my precious baby sitting up, looking healthy and happy. “There you are sleepy head.”
He reached out his arms. “Are you home to stay?”
I hugged him. “Yes baby.” Thanks to your father, I don’t ever have to leave.
11
Simon
The first time I kicked Erica out of my house, I felt like I’d ripped my own heart out of my chest. I hadn’t even realized how much I loved her until I’d made her leave. A few times, I picked up the phone to call to ask her to come back. But then I remembered her lie about the baby, and all the rejection and lies and betrayals I’d endured in life flooded back. From that time on, I’d gone through life not trusting anyone.
Last night, her compassion moved me. Not that I was a reformed Scrooge. I didn’t trust her fully. But I still loved her. I didn’t want to bind her to me when I knew she didn’t love me back. She was a mother looking out for her son, and while I was an asshole, I knew what it was like to have parents who weren’t there. I wasn’t going to be a party to having another child miss his mother just because I wanted to make a small town see me in a new light. Seriously, how fucked up was that?
And then I asked for a night. I didn’t want anything in return. All I wanted was her to be with me because she wanted to. She cared for me, I thought. Afterall, she did hold me and have sex with me. But sex wasn’t love. As much as I felt I needed her, the divide between us was too large to bridge. And so, I would let her go again, even as doing so felt like my heart was being crushed in a vise.
When I got out of the shower, she was gone. Thank God. I couldn’t bear to watch her walk away.
I called my pilot about flying back to Salvation. Then I checked my email. Most of the business stuff I couldn’t focus on at the moment, so I skipped it.
I stopped when I reached the email from Joe.
Re: Erica/Leslie Edmonds
Child: Son Mason, four years old.
Location: Children’s Hospital in Omaha
What the hell? What sort of mother was she that she’d be with me if her kid was in the hospital?
Reason: Diagnosis Marfan Syndrome
Discharged: Scheduled for today.
My heart actually stopped in my chest. Marfan. I sank down into my chair as I read that her child had the same medical issue as I did. What were the odds?
The truth was, I knew the odds. There was a fifty percent chance I’d pass it on to my kids. It had been the source of my parents’ rejection and taunting by peers growing up, which was why I got snipped. I wouldn’t put a child through all that.
I did a quick search on t
he odds of someone having marfan without a parent having it too. It was fairly rare. I sat back as I felt the world spin. It couldn’t be possible could it? Could Erica have been telling me the truth all the long?
I called my doctor, barking at the nurse that I didn’t care if he was with a patient. I knew this behavior was what offended people, but at this moment, I didn’t care.
“Mr. Stark. How can I help you,” Dr. Banner asked me.
“How effective are vasectomies?”
“Ah…very. About ninety-nine percent.”
For a moment I felt relief and yet at the same time disappointment. “So, there’s a one percent chance it didn’t take?”
“Most pregnancies after a vasectomy occur within a few months before all the sperm is gone. Usually, after twenty ejaculations or so. Normally after the procedure you have your semen examined to make sure that all the sperm are gone. Is there a problem? I can get your file, but maybe you should call your urologist.”
“No. Thanks.” I hung up the phone. Being a highly organized business man, I was able to pull up the date of my procedure and the date of the fundraising event I’d met Erica at. One month.
My heart picked up speed in my chest. I looked at the birthdate that Joe sent me and counted out from the six weeks she and I had been together.
“Oh Jesus.” I’d known I was a jerk and an asshole, but in that moment, I realized that I was the biggest fucking loser in the world.
I had a son.
I had a son I couldn’t be bothered to look at the picture of this morning.
I abandoned him and his mother. I was worse than my own parents.
FUCK!
My soul cried out at my own monstrous being.
For a moment, I was ready to go to the hospital. He was sick. Sick because of a condition I gave him. I needed to be there. To make sure he got all the medical care he deserved.
And yet…I couldn’t go. I didn’t fucking deserve him.
I grabbed a notepad and began to write.
When I was done, I called my courier and asked him to deliver it to Erica at her home.
Then I went to the airport and flew back to Salvation, calling my lawyer to make arrangements during the flight. While I was at it, I might as well atone for all my assholishness. When we landed, I had Marvin drive me to a quaint neighborhood in the town.
I couldn’t fix all my asshole behaviors. But I could help and then I’d leave.
I knocked on the door of the house.
“Mr. Stark?” Tucker Marshall looked at me with surprise.
“Is Ms. St. James here?”
His eyes narrowed. “We’re planning our wedding.”
“This will just take a minute.”
“Sure. Why not.” He had an amused look like he was wondering what sort of upheaval I’d heap on them, but not being worried about it. I wondered what it was to go through life with such ease. Ryder Jones was the same way. Not much bothered either of them.
“Mr. Stark?” Holly St. James had the same surprised expression that Tucker had.
“Excuse me for just dropping in. I have this for you.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a paper handing it to her.
Her gaze was suspicious as she studied. “I’m still not going to support Wallace, so you can take your money and—”
“I’m not asking for anything in return. The money is for your library. You don’t have to name it after me or do anything for me. In fact, it’s probably better that you keep my name out of it. If people knew where the money came from, they might not support you in this effort.”
“What’s the catch?” she asked.
“No catch. I know people’s opinion of me and to be honest, I don’t know that I’ve done anything that bad in an effort to get my foothold in town. The only exception is bringing your ex-fiancé back. That was beneath me and I’m sorry.”
Tucker tilted his head as he studied me. “I knew it. I knew it someday love would show you the way.”
“Love?” Holly asked.
“We heard you got married, but you know how this town is about marriage.” Tucker laughed “Although even fake, they turn out, don’t they, baby?”
“Yes, they do.” She smiled, and it was filled with love for Tucker. I longed for Erica to smile at me like that. At one time she did, but I fucked that up royally.
“I will concede that love is good. But Ms. Edmonds and I won’t be staying married.”
Tucker frowned. “Why not?”
I inhaled a breath. “Because I love her and she deserves better.”
I left Tucker and Holly, and got into the car.
“Where to next?” Marvin asked from the front seat.
“To Jay Wallace’s. Since I’m not on a honeymoon as planned, we can spend this time prepping him for next week’s debate and then hope he loses.”
The following week, I was sure I was going to get my wish. Wallace said all the right things, but he didn’t have the passion that Sinclair Jones had. He looked like a man who was spoon fed the answers. A puppet. Of course, that’s what he was. He was my puppet. Or he would have been if he won and if I wanted to make him do my bidding. But all the air had gone out of my wheeling and dealing. I just didn’t care that much anymore.
For the last week, I lay in bed, trying to figure out how I could manipulate Erica back into my life. Except I didn’t want her with me because I’d paid for her or coerced her. It was fucking frustrating to want to earn something that I didn’t deserve to have.
When they finished, the candidates took questions from the audience.
“Rumor has it that you’re in that jerk Stark’s pocket, Wallace. Is that true? How can we be sure you’ll do what’s best for us versus what’s best for him?” Someone asked.
Wallace had practiced this. “We’re all citizens of Salvation and we all want what’s best.”
“Oh, come on, Jay,” Sinclair said. “That’s not true. Stark doesn’t care at all about farmers. He doesn’t care about anything but getting us under his thumb.”
“That’s not true.”
My heart jumped. I knew that voice. I turned in my chair to see Erica standing at the back of the auditorium.
“Ms. Edmonds, you’ve been investigating Stark. How can you stand there and deny what he’s done?” Sinclair asked.
“What has he done? He came to town with the support of the governor and the current mayor in an attempt to bring in jobs. Was he a bit heavy handed about it? Maybe.”
“Maybe?” Sinclair scoffed.
“That prison would have employed a thousand people, many of whom are leaving town,” I said. But Sinclair and others at the meeting weren’t buying it. The challenges kept coming, and for each I had an answer as I walked up the center aisle toward the stage. After all, Sinclair had fake married Wyatt, and hadn’t initially told him he was Alyssa's father. Ryder could have turned down Simon’s money, but instead he took it and put his financial future for him, Trina and their child in order. Mo was now happily married because he fake married to thwart Simon’s purchase of her father’s farm. Even Holly seemed okay with Simon’s admittedly asshole move in bringing her ex back, as she was now planning to get married to Tucker. And she and Tucker weren’t squeaky clean as they’d fake married to get money from Mrs. Reynolds.
I wondered if I was in the twilight zone. Why was she taking my side?
“We all know that somehow Stark got to you,” Sinclair said, trying to say it sympathetically. “But he’s conniving and deceitful.”
“And you aren’t,” Erica shot back.
There was an audible gasp. Sinclair flinched and looked to the front row where her husband, daughter, and rest of her family sat.
“You’ve never held back the truth? Never faked anything to get what you want?” Erica pushed her.
Sinclair’s eyes narrowed, but she stayed quiet.
“What about what he did to Ryder?” someone yelled out.
“Keep me out of it,” Ryder said from the front row.
/>
“What about it? As far as I can tell, he’s flush in cash and about to be a business owner because of Stark,” Erica responded.
“Why have you changed your tune?” Ryder’s very pregnant wife Trina asked. “I mean you were there when he was trying to ruin Mo’s property and when he brought back that dickwad Rick.”
“He attempted to make a land purchase that would have saved Mo’s neighbor from bankruptcy. I don’t see why that’s a bad deal.”
“He was going to put something there that ruined Mo’s property value,” Trina argued. “You can’t put a landfill or whatever he was thinking.”
“Oh? How many landowners here are okay with being told what you can and can’t do with property you own? I know for a fact that many of you are currently turning over your farms to new crops or business ventures. Maybe the town should have a vote about whether you can do that.”
I looked around the room, feeling as in shock as the others appeared.
“And as far as dickwad, yes, that was bad, but I wonder what Mrs. Reynold’s opinion would be about that situation.”
At least she was more diplomatic than I was.
“I have no beef with Mr. Stark,” Holly said. For a minute, I wondered if she’d say that if I hadn’t just paid for her library. In my effort to clean up my ways, had I again bought myself an ally?
Erica walked up the middle of the aisle. I watched her trying to decide if I should go to her or just let her do her thing?
“The truth is, Simon Stark can be an ass. He’s ruthless and he goes after what he wants.”
Okay, so that doesn’t sound so great.
“But how many here wouldn’t do whatever you had to…have done whatever you had to for your family or livelihood? Fake marriages? Secret children? Secret love affairs? You’ve all been forgiven. Salvation is a lovely town that looks out for its own, but isn’t so welcoming to outsiders.”
“We welcomed you and would have welcomed Mr. Stark if he hadn’t—”
“Hadn’t what? This all started with a plan to bring in a thousand jobs that Mayor Valentine and the governor backed. He moved here. Settled here to be a part of Salvation because he wanted the quiet and piece that it offered. Was he overly aggressive in business? Yes. But I haven’t come across anyone that I’ve interviewed that reached out to him. He only had rejection.” She looked at me then. “I was part of that crowd that only saw a jerk. But if you gave him a chance, you’d see a man who has so much to give this town, if you’d let him—”
Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 90