Love and Truth

by FRANCES, KAREN

  I sigh heavily and turn my attention back to him. I suppose I do need to think about the clubs; I’ve left the managers to their own devices the last two weeks. Joe has been popping into both, but it’s time to sort myself out. I still have a few doubts about the manager of Crave.

  “Okay, I’ll be back to work properly on Monday,” I tell him as he sits down at the kitchen table.

  “So we need to plan what you’re going to do and what you need me to do for you.”

  “You make this sound very official.”

  “It is. You’re my boss after all,” he says with a grin.

  “Yes, but I hope we’re friends.”

  “That we are. Now…”

  Planning my week ahead at work all seems so straightforward. A few meetings have been organised for afternoons. I need to make a decision on Exquisite and then tell James what I plan to do. If I sell it, he’ll be the one to organise that for me. As much as I don’t want to hang on to a sex club, there’s a niggling feeling and a voice telling me I should.

  I don’t understand why though.

  What the hell do I know about running a sex club? Nothing. But maybe I should have some fun with Jack there before I come to any decisions.

  Joe tells me he will have to speak with Jack and Giovanni to ensure when he isn’t with me, someone he trusts is. With a gut feeling about Pete being around, he doesn’t want to take any chances. He’s not the only one. Although, I am drawing the line at Joe having to stay over at the flat if Jack isn’t. I haven’t said to him yet, but I’m not sure when I’ll be ready to stay there again on my own. It’s as tainted as the rest of my life. I felt happy there. Yes, I know I was only staying there a short time, but it felt good. If staying here with Jack is only temporary, then I’ll move in with my brother until I can get my life sorted out.

  If only my life was simple, but it’s not. Part of me believes I’m going to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.

  It’s hard for me admitting to myself, never mind anyone else, that Pete has really scared me. More than Tony ever did.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jack

  I open the front door and smile as the smell hits me. Maria has been cooking, and from the smell of it I’m about to die and go to heaven. Well, not really, but I’m sure with whatever she’s made, I’ll be lying on the couch afterwards, in a food coma.

  With my nose in the air, I’m walking toward the kitchen trying to second guess what she’s made, but I’m coming up blank and I’m the detective. The only thing I know is it smells fucking amazing. If I wasn’t already in love with her, I’m sure now would be the moment I fell for her. In a big way.

  “Hi,” I say, entering the kitchen and removing my suit jacket and loosening my tie. She and Joe are sitting at the kitchen table.

  “You look tired,” she says, standing and taking a few steps toward me then removing my tie. “I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Yes.”

  Joe stands. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I know, but I need to be at the club,” he tells me. “Now, you.” He turns his focus on Maria. “Stay out of trouble and I’ll see you soon.”

  Her body sags as she nods her head. At least she’s not fighting any of us about keeping her safe. That’s the one thing none of us is prepared to compromise on. “Joe, I’ll drop you a message later. I think I’ll be back in work tomorrow.” My eyes are on Maria and it’s only for a brief second, but I see a touch of sadness in her eyes.

  “That’s fine. I’ll be here whenever you need me,” he says and leaves the kitchen and then I hear the front door close behind him.

  “Go and have a shower,” Maria says, stepping toward the cooker. “Dinner will be ready in ten.”

  I can’t help myself. I step toward her, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her neck. “A man could get used to this.”

  I could easily come home to her every night. Having her here waiting would mean I’d definitely rush home. She looks comfortable in my home and that pleases me. It means she might consider staying here with me on a permanent basis.

  Wow. Where did that come from? It doesn’t really matter where the thought came from because it’s what I want.

  “Get out of here,” she says playfully, removing my arms and swatting me away. “Ten minutes, that’s all you’ve got.”

  “I hear you. Do you need me to do anything?” She shakes her head and I watch her for a brief moment as she busies herself in my kitchen. I walk away smiling because I can’t remember ever coming home after work to a home-cooked meal. Not even with…

  I allow my thoughts to trail off because she doesn’t deserve to be in my head. Especially not now, when I’ve finally met someone who means more to me than life itself. I pause in the bedroom, my eyes drifting to the picture beside my bed. A beautiful smile from an equally beautiful girl. God, I still miss her every damn day. It’s a shame about her mother.

  The picture has been moved, only slightly, but enough for my eyes to notice it. I’m sure Maria must have questions. I’m not going to wait for her to ask. I’ll give her the information she wants freely. No secrets.

  Time to hit the shower, because the longer I stand here, the longer it will be before I get to eat. My stomach rumbles, reminding me that I haven’t eaten since our toast in bed this morning. A bed which Maria has since made up.

  * * *

  I lean against the doorframe and just stare as she puts a large bowl of pasta in the middle of the table along with what looks like fresh homemade garlic bread. If I were to be greeted with this sight every night, I’d never be the last one out of the office.

  “Will you stop loitering in the doorway and sit down,” she says without even glancing in my direction. She is removing a bottle of white wine from the fridge.

  “You do know you didn’t need to go to all this trouble?” I say, sitting down with my eyes casting over the food.

  “I know that, but it gave me something to do.”

  She finally sits down, and I open the wine, pouring her glass first. Always a gentleman; my mother taught me well. “This looks incredible.”

  “It tastes it. Well, I think so.”

  I’m already salivating as I wait until she takes some and then I spoon some onto my plate. I can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t look up. Instead, I twirl the pasta around my fork and take a mouthful.

  And I was right. This is delicious.

  “Mm, this is bloody good,” I say, looking across the table.

  “I thought you’d like it. I just didn’t appreciate how much,” she says, smirking.

  “You can move in anytime,” I say, grabbing another fork full. I swear I’m moaning with every mouthful I take. Silence fills the air and I look back at Maria, who is now staring at me. Her own fork hangs in the air. “What?”

  “So, you just want me here with you to feed you?”

  Her words run through my head and it takes me a moment to understand what she’s saying.

  I cough. “It’s not like that and you know it, but if we’re being serious for a minute, then I do think you moving in is a good idea.”

  “I won’t stay in another woman’s house.”

  She sounds hurt. “This isn’t another woman’s house. This is my home. But, yes, another woman has stayed here.”

  “And your daughter?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about that. The girl in the picture isn’t my daughter.” My heart is heavy because, in my eyes, she’ll always be my little girl.

  “So, who is she?”

  “You eat and I’ll talk.” She nods. I take another mouthful because I can’t resist it, and I know when I finish talking, I most probably won’t eat anything else. “Lilly and I were together only about eight weeks when she told me she thought she was pregnant. Our relationship wasn’t serious, or so I thought. Turns out, Lilly had other ideas. Her pregnancy was confirmed, and I did what was right. I stuck by her and we had
an okay relationship as her pregnancy progressed. She delivered Zoe four weeks early and I was right by her side. Seeing her give birth to our daughter, my heart was bursting with love for the new life we created.”

  “But you just told me she isn’t your daughter,” she interrupts.

  “I’m getting to that. Lilly and I, our relationship was never based on love. Yes, I cared for her. But all my love went to Zoe. A few months after Zoe’s first birthday, Lilly started going out more, always out drinking with her friends, and at the time it never bothered me because I got Zoe to myself. I loved my time with her. Close to Zoe’s second birthday, Lilly and I were always arguing because she was hardly ever home. During one of our arguments, she drunkenly said she should’ve gone back to Zoe’s dad when she had the chance.”

  Maria gasps and her eyes fall to the table.

  “Short story is, I’m not Zoe’s dad. When I thought she had delivered early, she was two weeks late. I came home from work the next day to an empty house. She had taken away the wee girl I loved like my own. I have no idea where they went. In twenty-four hours, I went from a happy man with a beautiful daughter to nothing. Lilly destroyed my life.”

  Maria stares at me for a moment before getting off her chair and walking around the table to me. I push my chair back and she sits on my lap, wrapping her arms around me. “I’m sorry I brought it up. And I’m sorry she took away everything that was important to you.”

  “Don’t you dare be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. Lilly, on the other hand… Do you know what? Even though I knew Lilly and I would never recover from that, I really wanted Zoe in my life.”

  “Of course you would, because that’s the kind of man you are. Did she just think you wouldn’t have any feelings for a baby you watched come into the world? You loved her from the day she was born and, regardless of her parentage, that wasn’t going to change.”

  “I don’t know what she was thinking,” I say softly, my hands holding her close to me. “This isn’t how dinner was supposed to turn out.” I look at the food still sitting on our plates and feel guilty because Maria has gone to a lot of effort.

  “You’ve eaten some and so have I. I can always reheat it later.”

  “Thank you, and I’m sorry I didn’t mention all this sooner. It’s a part of my life I try not to think about because, when I do, I relive the pain all over again. I trusted Lilly.”

  Maria presses a kiss to my lips, and I close my eyes, but all I see is Zoe’s precious face, and like all the other times I see her so clearly in my head, my heart aches. But this time I feel something else. Is there a bright light at the end of the tunnel?

  Only time will tell.

  Maybe now is the right time to leave my past and make a new future.

  A future with Maria is what I see. But is it what I’ll get?

  Chapter Thirteen

  Maria

  With my arms around his neck, his head rests on my shoulder. I hold him close, not wanting to let him go. All this pain. I never expected him to tell me that. I can’t believe someone would do that to him, let him think that he was Zoe’s dad and then cruelly rip his world apart. As if he hadn’t already had enough to deal with in his life. Everyone that he has ever loved has been taken from his grasp. His mother and Zoe.

  He clings on to me the same way a child would with their mother when they’re feeling scared. His body trembles against mine and I’m trying to hold myself together because now more than ever he needs to lean on my strength. I’ve never felt my own heart ache so much for someone else.

  I’m not the callous bitch I’ve made out I am after all.

  “Jack.” I whisper his name.

  He pulls back, his eyes glazed. “I’m fine.”

  I stare at him, silently questioning his statement, because I know deep down, he’s anything but fine. He’s hurt and angry at what he’s been through with Lilly, and he has every right to be. And now everything makes sense to me. I kept a secret from him. It’s no different to what Lilly did. That’s why he walked away, leaving me alone in the hospital, because I hurt him by keeping what I thought was the truth to myself. “Honestly, I’m fine. This is something I don’t talk about.”

  That’s a lie, and for a detective, he’s not very good at trying to hide his emotions. “But you should, and I’m here whenever you want to talk. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

  “I don’t know what to say, other than its part of my past. I still wish Zoe was part of my life, even knowing I’m not her dad.”

  “I know you do, and that’s what makes you an incredible person.”

  “Right now, I don’t feel incredible. I’ve ruined dinner,” he says, changing the subject.

  “No, you’ve not. We’ll have plenty more dinners to…” I stop and gaze into his eyes as I realise what I just said. A slow smile spreads across his face, reaching his eyes, and while only moments ago they were glazed and filled with sadness, now there’s a glint of happiness. “What?” I ask when he continues to stare at me.

  “I like your confidence and your cooking.” We both laugh, taking the sting out of our conversation. I pat his hand away, but he pulls me closer to him. “I’ll cook dinner tomorrow to make up for tonight.”

  “There’s no need. Now, what do you want to do for the rest of the night?” I ask.

  “There are lots of possibilities running through my head, but I’m more than happy to have you curled in at my side as we watch a movie.”

  “Oh, I think we can do better than that,” I tease, loosening the top button of his shirt. His eyes widen. “I’ve missed you.”

  His eyes dance downward, and he watches as I undo a few more buttons. “We don’t have to do anything,” he says breathlessly.

  “No, we don’t, but I want to. I want you. I need you. All of you.”

  He stares at me for a moment, searching for a sign that maybe this isn’t what I want. But he won’t find it. He grabs my face, softly but with passion, and presses his lips to mine in a long, lingering kiss. Desperation fills me as his mouth moulds to mine. How could he think I don’t want this?

  It’s all I want, for him to make me truly his again.

  Warm hands move from my face and slide around my shoulders, gripping me tightly as though frightened to let me go. Moving out of his grasp isn’t an option for me. He doesn’t have to worry. I’m not going anywhere. Unless we go upstairs to his bedroom, then I’ll happily take his hand in mine and lead the way. To show him how I feel about him without words.

  His mouth leaves mine, leaving behind a burning desire, an aching need for another demanding kiss. I gaze into his eyes, catching the slight smirk of his mouth but also seeing the depths of his feelings in his bright green eyes. “Lock up and take me to bed,” I whisper, pressing a soft, brief kiss on his lips, not giving him the opportunity to take it further. At least not until we get to the bedroom.

  “That I can do. Go on up. I’ll be there in two minutes.” I smile, leave the comfort of his embrace, and walk from the kitchen up the stairs to his bedroom.

  It’s funny how things have changed so much in my life. A few days ago, I never thought I could be this happy. A few days ago, I thought I was about to lose everything and everyone. I never thought that my brother and Lou would give me their blessings to be with Jack.

  Jack and Giovanni, I think, will always have a mutual respect for each other because they both want to protect me. Of course, if it wasn’t for me, I know that neither would tolerate the other. And as for Lou, if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t be interested in even speaking to Jack because of his job. Like me, she was always encouraged to stay away from speaking to any police officers. Who would’ve thought me, the widow of Tony Fraser, known to many as one of the great gangland criminals, would now be dating a detective?

  Yes, life is certainly funny. Never a dull moment.

  The bedroom is how I left it earlier, which doesn’t really surprise me. Jack might’ve been up here for a shower, but I already know he�
��s not one to leave everything lying around at his backside. Everything in his home has its place, and right now, my place is in his bed.

  I smooth my hair down and check out my appearance in the bedroom mirror. Not happy with what I see, I quickly turn away. I look tired, and although there’s a spark in my eyes, there’s something missing. I’m just not sure what it is.

  Trying not to dwell on it, I undress and climb into bed, hearing him wander around downstairs. He’s checking the doors are locked and that the alarm is set. Always the protector. And that’s one of the many things I admire about him.

  As I pull the bed sheets around my naked body, I hear his footsteps coming up the stairs and crossing the floor. My gaze lingers on the open door and I don’t have to wait long until he is there, filling the doorway. He takes my breath away with his commanding presence, his hands gripping both sides of the doorframe. Something I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to.

  I’m absent-mindedly twisting the corner of the bed sheet around my fingers as my eyes linger on him just standing there watching me.

  “You look distracted,” he says in his deep and playful yet sexy voice.

  “Around you, I feel distracted from all aspects of my life,” I say as he finally steps toward me.

  My nerves are betraying me tonight. I’m not sure why, but all my confidence seems to have washed away as I fidget with the bed sheets between my fingers. I still my hands and focus on the man before me. My man. And with my last lingering thought in my head, I feel the rush of my heart beating fast.

  “Now, I wonder if I should ask what’s made your face flush a beautiful shade of pink. Or should I be the gentleman I was brought up to be and not mention it?”

  I’m blushing and smiling. “Well, it’s too late to be a gentleman about it, but I’m not going to tell you either. It’s a woman’s prerogative to keep a few things to herself.”

  “Is that so?” he questions me, removing his already un-buttoned shirt from his back before loosening his dark trousers.