In early December, Lizzie announced she was decorating for Christmas. The boys looked forward to this every year as the house was transformed into a magical wonderland. This was Joey’s first Christmas with them, and he didn’t know why they were so eager for Lizzie to get started. A tree was out of the question with Joey’s one-cat-wrecking-ball reputation. Lizzie hung sparkly red pear and apple ornaments between the stair rails. Joey was agog, his eyes bulging. He couldn’t believe Lizzie bought him all these spiffy toys when it wasn’t even his birthday. In the blink of an eye, he was pummelling a pear, turning it into a speed bag. He went berserk when it fell, shooting it across the hall. Lizzie sighed, thinking how fortunate it was that the ornaments were plastic, and stuck it back up with stronger tape. Decorating was taking a lot longer this year. After everyone else had gone to bed, Joey was still whacking the ornaments on his perpetual quest to knock them loose.
Lizzie awoke with the sun streaming through the window and was bewildered when there was no sign of Joey. Hobbes, Liam, and Milo were snoring away beside her. She went in search of Joey and found him on the couch. He’d tuckered himself out and didn’t have the energy to climb upstairs to bed. He looked as if he’d dropped like a stone and instantly fallen asleep.
The others tore down the stairs when they realized Lizzie was astir, but Joey heard nothing.
Lizzie said loudly, “Breakfast is served,” but he was in the Land of Nod. She tickled his nose by softly blowing in his face.
He sat up, addled by the morning activity around him. “Where did the night go?” He shook off his confusion as he hopped from the couch and joined the fray. He wanted to get breakfast out of the way—the ornaments were calling. Joey decided Christmas was splendid.
That afternoon, when the cats were enjoying siestas, Lizzie got out the tiny Santa hats for her Christmas photos. Liam and Joey were sharing a bed on the sofa next to her. She ever so gently placed a hat on Liam’s head, holding her breath. He continued sleeping, oblivious of his jolly attire. Just as Lizzie’s finger was depressing the shutter button, Joey woke up, took one baffled gawk at Liam, and with a swipe of his paw sent the hat flying across the room.
“You look ridiculous,” he said with a pompous sniff and went back to sleep.
In a matter of seconds, Liam followed suit. Lizzie snapped pictures of them in their Santa garb, and they were none the wiser. They’d be mollified when they saw they were the cover models on Lizzie’s Christmas cards.
One more surprise was in store. Lizzie’s gift for her boys was a cat tree. Christmas was a few weeks away, but with no place to hide the tree, they lucked out early. The tree was carpeted and had several levels on which to play or snooze. They were enthralled. They scaled it like squirrels and boxed with each other on the perches, but the place everyone wanted to be was in the round bed at the top. It was tailor-made for curling into a ball. Whoever claimed that prime bit of real estate was king of the castle. Trouble ensued if anyone dared try to sneak in and share it. And by trouble, it usually meant someone got his butt booted to the floor in short order.
Lizzie’s final decorating touch was to display her prized Santa Claus figurines in front of the fireplace. She admired how inviting and festive the house looked. “Time to put my feet up and have a cup of tea with a piece of cake,” Lizzie declared.
As she was walking toward the sofa with her dessert, Joey noticed the bottom rack of the dishwasher was rolled out and hurled himself behind it. He liked this spacious white cube and would not budge no matter how Lizzie pleaded. Her plate was in one hand, away from Liam’s reach, and trying to haul Joey out with her free hand was fruitless. He kept slipping from her grasp, limp as a cooked noodle. How did his body morph into a boneless blob? When she finally managed to drag him out, he took off like a wind-up toy on a mission.
Once again, Lizzie headed to the sofa. She heard a kerfuffle and saw Joey had plucked Winnie the Santa Pooh from between the stair rails and was beating the stuffing out of him. Liam, who swore by the adage “you snooze, you lose” homed in on Lizzie’s dessert like a missile tracker. There would be no lost opportunity on his watch. Cake in hand, Lizzie ran to rescue Pooh Bear before he was no longer recognizable and then settled in front of the TV. It was not to be. Joey was karate chopping the ornaments hanging on the stair railing. Lizzie told him to knock it off, which he took literally. Liam grumbled his disappointment under his breath when she hid her cake in the cupboard before storming off to stop Joey.
Lizzie was determined to enjoy her dessert after the hours spent decorating. She flopped on the couch, put the plate on her lap, and sipped the tea. Joey chose that moment to jump on the coffee table and dismantle the glittery Christmas centerpiece. Green-and-gold flowers flew through the air at the behest of his Edward Scissorhands-like paws. Lizzie set her dishes on the table and shooed him away with windmilling arms, yelling at him to behave because her patience was wearing thin. Her holiday mood was rapidly evaporating. Before she could take a bite, Joey marched over to the hearth and, one by one, saucily kicked the Santas. Wiping his front paws together to signal a job well done, he smirked at them lying face down in an undignified jumble. Lizzie exhaled and counted to ten. Joey could see steam coming from her ears and sensed she was on the brink of exploding. He scooted to the top of the cat tree and flattened himself in the bed, out of sight. He was gracious enough to allow Lizzie to eat without further disruption. Plus, he was exhausted.
But more hoopla was fast approaching for Joey on New Year’s Day when Lizzie packed up the decorations. She got the boxes out of the closet, set them on the floor, and organized the Santas on the dining room table. Joey leapt up and toppled the Santas in rapid succession. For some inexplicable reason, he found this to be most gratifying. Lizzie helped him off the table, and he promptly struggled to squeeze his body into a box. Halfway in was as far as he could get, which was enough to uncover an unexpected bonus—tissue paper. He whooped, grinning like an evil elf as he shredded it with lawnmower precision and stuffed it in his mouth. Lizzie’s crisp, delicate paper was destroyed in a flash.
Joey exclaimed, “New Year’s is second on my Top Ten List, right after Christmas!”
The holidays were over, the decorations were stowed away, and Lizzie was lollygagging on the sofa with the cats. It warmed her heart to see them sleeping soundly in the knowledge they were pampered and protected. What would have happened if she hadn’t saved them? Sensing she was thinking about him, Hobbes opened one eye. Lizzie felt so blessed to have these sassy love bugs in her life. She was surrounded by hilarity, and hugs were plentiful. She wondered aloud what the upcoming year would bring.
Hobbes, whose lonely life was a distant memory, hugged Lizzie and said, “You should write a book about us. Spread the joy!”
YouTube Links
Hobbes yodels https://youtu.be/OBXyyNW7GCQ
Liam and Milo demand dinner https://youtu.be/MyiZAI_nG6E
Liam looks for the toaster oven door https://youtu.be/Iw-U78fYyrE
Hijinks on the cat tree https://youtu.be/Jn-kf4cO3WU
Hobbes loves his hugs https://youtu.be/TAFvN4oW7bk
Joey’s gymnastics https://youtu.be/21-Nr7qrdo0
Joey's Christmas toys https://youtu.be/E0_L2Tni1p8
Liam’s disappointing discovery—an empty ice cream carton https://youtu.be/NrsDkAjniHY
Liam’s whipped cream caper https://youtu.be/3sgDg8CynO0
Milo’s determined to filch that Christmas ornament https://youtu.be/7qR12lz3nMc
Liam's five-star chin buff https://youtu.be/en02QrICn8s
Hobbes's Buddha pose https://youtu.be/gpV9CSH_--8
Liam turfs Hobbes from his bed https://youtu.be/OeJM-hTWwtU
Liam turfs Milo from his bed https://youtu.be/nmrGb4w6L3Y
Hobbes loves to be vacuumed https://youtu.be/wjVTKlwerjA
Hobbes surveys meal prep from Lizzie’s shoulder https://youtu.be/Dhj0tWEb-KQ
Joey’s dinner dance https://youtu.be/f6n6iGUyzUo
Cat
s have their teeth brushed https://youtu.be/bCwAq4qujL8
Joey watches TV https://youtu.be/-9GsvMqIIc4
Milo steals straws https://youtu.be/5nvAgzKOXTM
Milo sneaks in for a face wash https://youtu.be/bWkJRuCYvxQ
Milo and Joey playing https://youtu.be/XeHAveaGaao
Liam’s head in the oat bag https://youtu.be/gf-B_YFyRz4
Joey makes friends https://youtu.be/6WNC9QPFYFc
Joey and Liam playing https://youtu.be/wCxUFhBHQKk
Hobbes warms up his toes for a face wash https://youtu.be/LUqtdM04zMs
Liam’s Joker grin https://youtu.be/ssHa9rpiW7A
Milo gets jiggy with it https://youtu.be/-wYQ0TkM_U8
Cats bask in the sun https://youtu.be/WEk9roB3iZo
Milo and Liam—Jekyll and Hyde https://youtu.be/M9aMbmNxfLU
Liam gallops for his good-boy treat https://youtu.be/IlzAKXZMACE
Joey helps himself to Milo’s food https://youtu.be/afb9HWrv_DM
Liam checks on dinner https://youtu.be/7yCMAXYaD0U
Milo licks cream off his nose https://youtu.be/2sb8uRzxXIg
Liam and Joey wrestle https://youtu.be/YNMjZnOy5QU
Liam and Milo’s synchronized washing https://youtu.be/pVNDylaGjS8
Hobbes munches grass https://youtu.be/UW2kcH9pmxM
Joey and his squirrel buddies https://youtu.be/oPmRb2g0TWg
Milo and Joey with their feathered friends https://youtu.be/ObJ4o3cRW2s
Hobbes and Liam play hide and seek https://youtu.be/o_Cx3W-ffwU
Liam’s exercise routine https://youtu.be/xJP3KJNtuMY
Liam doesn’t care for dance lessons https://youtu.be/S1ZINlTDmYU
Cats wait for Chippy’s arrival https://youtu.be/UPImios7-co
About the Author
Elizabeth Jain is an animal advocate devoted to her ever-growing family of felines. She is passionate about finding perfect homes for the strays who saunter into her life and provides a wealth of information to anyone within earshot about how to improve the lives of both indoor and outdoor cats.
Jain's love of cats stemmed from a childhood surrounded by adorable family pets, many of whom were strays. If she wasn't able to entice the barn cats on her grandparents’ farm to come out and play, she'd sit under a giant oak tree reading books about animals while snacking on heavenly raspberries from her grandfather's prized garden.
Using her favourite book, Black Beauty, as inspiration, Jain set out to write a story that would capture the joy of living with cats, while also focusing on the plight of strays.
Jain, an avid baker with a healthy sweet tooth, resides in Ontario, Canada. The Cat's Breath Smells Like Dessert is her first book. It is available at major retailers.
Thank you for buying this book. If you have enjoyed it, a review would be greatly appreciated.
The Cat's Breath Smells Like Dessert Page 7