Now it’s my turn to frown. Actually, I pull out my pout. “But look at all the trouble I went to.” I motion to his dressed up penis and gently stroke around the ridge. It kicks in my hand.
I think maybe I have him, but his expression flattens. “Still no.”
Goddammit. I want a picture. This is just too awesome to go undocumented. I rack my brain for potential enticements. It takes me all of five seconds to come up with the one that will most definitely get me what I want. Which is a picture of Alex’s penis dressed up in a Weiner Warmer wearing a very Scrooge-like expression. I need to learn how to knit so I can make it an ugly sweater.
“What if I gave you Area 51 access?”
Alex’s eyes go wide and his erection kicks in my hand. “Dick access?”
I give him my get real face. “No, Alex.”
His face falls for half a second before it lights up again. “With that plug from the endorsement?”
“Or the one Charlene gave me for my bachelorette party. Whatever you like more.” For sure he’ll pick the endorsement one, since it has the team logo emblazoned hologram style in the flared base. “I’ll even let you do the double duty thing where you invade Area 51 and sex me from behind at the same time.” The last time he did that I came like my beaver button was the source of the apocalypse. But I let him think I’m being generous and accommodating by giving him access to places I normally wouldn’t.
He nods vigorously. “Okay.” His hands smooth up and down his thighs. “Where’s your phone?”
I reach behind me, snatching it off the coffee table, and snap a bunch of pictures before Alex can change his mind. I probably take a hundred in less than a minute. Alex is antsy and excited, so he has a hard time keeping his knee still.
Once I’m done with the mini photo shoot, Alex motions to the head of his cock. “Time to get rid of the face, baby.”
Normally, when I do something like this, I’ll take my time, but Alex seems to be in a bit of a rush, probably because of the Area 51 access I’ve granted him. I suck off each little candy eye and lick around the head to get most of the candy glue and the icing facial features. I wrap my lips around the head and apply some suction.
As soon as I pop off, Alex starts pulling on the Weiner Warmer. “Let’s get this off and get upstairs.” All he succeeds in doing is pushing it up where it gets stuck at the ridge.
“Let me help with that.” It’s a lot tighter now on account of Alex’s excitement.
I have to smooth it back out. The easiest way to get this off would be to snip one of the stitches to give it a little more wiggle room, but I don’t think Alex will ever let me bring a pair of scissors near his dick again, so that’s out.
As soon I get the Weiner Warmer over the head, I make an attempt to do the whole sucking thing again, but Alex isn’t having it. He picks me up, rushing the stairs to get to the bedroom. “This is going to be so fucking awesome.”
And it is totally fucking awesome, especially since I get to come three times before Alex is even inside me.
NOTE: I know you are all worried about the Play-Doh dick sculpture. It’s okay. Violet manages to get it back to her office in her secret hiding place without Alex finding out she still has it.
Let’s Make An Alex Jr.
Alex
WHY DID I write this? I wrote this piece for KU Korner’s storytime a couple of years back and felt like this outtakes book was the perfect place to put it.
I LOVE SUMMER. Summer means lighter training schedules, vacations, and lots of time spent by the pool. And that means Violet in a bikini. I fucking love Violet in a bikini. I love her out of one, too, but there’s just something about those tiny triangles of fabric, wet and clinging to my favorite parts of her body.
It’s Tuesday, which means she’s working from home, and the weather is gorgeous—warm but not too hot, and sunny with a light breeze. There’s a reasonably good chance that she’ll be outside, working by the pool. In a bikini. Hence my excellent mood post-hockey practice.
I pull into the garage and head inside, dropping my sweaty gym stuff in the laundry room. I nab a pair of clean swim shorts from the basket that has yet to be put away. Even if she isn’t already by the pool, I’m hoping my attire will inspire her to take a dip with me. And then we can have post-pool sex. Or in the pool sex depending on whether there are neighbors around. Violet’s not very quiet during sex and the pool tends to be echo-y.
As I approach the French door leading to the backyard patio and Olympic-sized swimming pool, my favorite sight greets me—well, second favorite. Violet is indeed working outside. She’s reclined in a lounger, her laptop set up on the side table, along with a pile of papers, holding an iPad.
She’s wearing one of my favorite bathing suits. It’s red with my team logo on the boobs and another one right over her crotch. It says WATERS on the ass, indicating it’s mine. And that ass certainly belongs to me. Well, it belongs to Violet, but sometimes she lets me get a finger in there, and recently there was an incident with a butt plug that gives me some hope for more, one day, maybe.
I’m already tenting my shorts just thinking about getting her wet, and then naked. As I watch her through the window, I note just how ample her boobs are. They look . . . bigger somehow. There’s more side boob than usual, and the cleavage is more . . . cleaveage-y. Maybe it’s the angle of her chair, but they really do look larger. It’s possible the window is distorting them.
I open the door, intent to find out if I’m right or if I’m just so amped up and horny that I’m imagining things. Violet looks up from her laptop and smiles. Her eyebrows pop up as her gaze moves down my body. “Hey sexy, you and Super MC look happy to see me.”
I pat my barely contained cock as I saunter on over. “We sure are. You want to take a break and go for a little dip?”
She sets the iPad on top of the stack of papers and pushes up out of the chair. “I’m pretty sure you’re not going to leave me alone until I say yes.” She gestures to my crotch. “Plus, that needs to be taken care of.”
She adjusts the cups of her bikini, frowning as she tries to cover the side boob, only to make the cleavage situation worse, or better, actually. Her tummy is normally flat and toned thanks to the hours of yoga my sister forces on her, but today there’s a little bump. Not much of one, but I notice it mostly because I spend a lot of time looking at my wife’s incredible body in little to no clothing.
She throws her arms around my neck, her boobs squish against my chest, and she rises up on her toes, pulling me down so she can kiss me. She tastes like orange juice, another one of my favorite things.
“I love Tuesday lunch breaks,” I mumble around her tongue. Sliding my hands down her sides, I cup her ass and pull her in tight against my erection.
“Super MC loves them more apparently.” She tries to wriggle away, but I kiss a path along her neck and slide my hands down the back of her bathing suit, kneading her ass.
“There’s no Area 51 access today, so you can stop while you’re ahead.” Violet pushes on my chest again. When I let her go, she steps around and dives into the pool. It’s not terribly graceful, and there’s a lot of splash, but she no longer belly flops every time, so that’s an improvement.
She doggy paddles the rest of the way to the other side. I dive in and reach the edge at the same time she does. Reaching around, I cup her boobs in my palms. Based on the way they spill out of my palms, they are definitely bigger.
Turning her around, I move her closer to the shallow end so I can pin her against the side and we make out. When she starts up with the noises and the little hums, I begin to question whether or not it’s a good idea to have pool sex if she’s pregnant. Which she very well may be with her extra booby boobs. And she’s been sleeping in a lot. Violet can always sleep in, but she’s been hitting the snooze button more than usual. And last week she complained about nausea.
Is pool sex dangerous? Could the bromine harm the baby? Are we having a baby? I lift her up, setting her
on the edge of the pool, and fit myself between her legs. My face is at boob level. They really are spectacular today.
“Maybe we should continue this inside.”
“Why? No one can see us and I love pool sex. It’s fun trying to be quiet.”
“I don’t know if it’s safe.”
Violet seems genuinely confused. “Why wouldn’t it be safe? I promise not to chant about cock love this time.”
“I’m not worried about the chanting.” Although that is something to consider.
“So I don’t get the safety issue.”
I shrug. Maybe it is safe, but I can’t be sure without looking it up on Google. I circle her navel with a fingertip and try a different approach. “Do you have some news you’d like to share?”
“What the hell are you talking about? One second we’re making out and now you’re worried about pool sex safety and asking me about news? Did you eat one of your dad’s cookies or something?”
“No, I didn’t eat one of my dad’s cookies.” My father tests strains of medical marijuana. It’s an actual job, taxable by the government. “Are you pregnant?”
“What?” It’s more of a screech than a word. She swats my arm.
“Are you insane? Why the hell would you think I’m pregnant?”
“Your boobs are bigger and there’s a bump.” I lean in and give her tummy a kiss. She’s going to look so good pregnant. Her boobs are going to be the best. It’s even okay that I won’t be able to really love them the way I want to because they’ll just look so fantastic.
“My boobs are bigger because I’m getting my period, and I’m bloated because I was craving ice cream, but thanks a lot for pointing out my bloatation bulge and assuming it’s because you got me knocked up.”
“It’s not knocking you up if we’re married. Are you sure you’re getting your period? Maybe the ice cream is a pregnancy craving. You should take a test.”
Now she just looks annoyed. “I’m not pregnant, Alex.”
“How can you be sure? Isn’t there a leftover pregnancy test from the time in the winter when you couldn’t remember if you took your pill after the New Year’s party?”
“There’s probably fifty left over since you bought the econo box from Costco.”
“Great, so you can use one.” I look up at her expectantly. While I wait, I give her boobs a nuzzle.
Violet sighs. “We’re not having pool sex until you have an answer, are we?”
I shake my head against her cleavage.
She pushes my face away. “Fine. I’ll go pee on a stick, but I’m not pregnant.”
I follow her into the house and try to trail her into the bathroom, but she won’t let me come in. Less than a minute later, she opens the door and hands me the stick. “We have to wait two minutes. A plus sign means it’s positive. No plus sign means I’m bloated with an ice cream baby.”
I follow her to the kitchen, holding the stick, watching the two windows, waiting for the magic sign to appear. I check my phone six times in the following one hundred and twenty seconds. There’s no plus sign.
“Maybe it’s defective. You should take another one.”
Violet gives me her annoyed face. “I’m not pregnant, Alex. I’m just bloated. Why do you look so disappointed?”
“I honestly thought you were pregnant.”
“You’re just looking forward to my boobs being huge.”
“That’s untrue.” I wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. “I love your boobs just the way they are.” Bending, I kiss each swell, then come up to give her lips the same attention. “Maybe you should think about going off the pill.”
Violet takes my face between her palms so she can meet my gaze with a shocked one of her own. “Are you serious?”
I pull the tie around her neck and the one below her shoulder blades. “Just something to consider. We can do all kinds of practicing until you’re ready.”
“I love practice.”
“Me, too.” I rid her of her bottoms and set her on the island, fitting myself between her thighs as my swim shorts drop to the floor. “So we should start practicing right now.”
NOTE: A LOT of people were super disappointed that she wasn’t preggers. You guys are a bunch of loons, but don’t worry. I remedy that issue, see PUCKED LOVE for details and keep reading for more details.
Pretty Eyes
Alex
WHY DID I write this? Forever, who published the good luck charm suggested I write a little piece that included Ethan and the gang from Pucked since I made him a trade from Chicago. I had a great time putting him in this super awkward scenario with his former captain and teammates wife ;)
I DROP DOWN on the cedar bench and roll my neck, loosening up the kinks after my workout. Off-season is coming to an end, and that means training starts soon, and my lax schedule is about to change. Randy’s sitting across from me, a towel draped over his lap. Lance is on his left and Rookie is on his right. Rookie isn’t really a rookie anymore, but the nickname isn’t going anywhere.
Darren takes up the space beside me, and next to him is Miller, who pats his stomach. “I ate too many wings last night.”
“Looks more like you’re the preggers one instead of Sunny, aye?” Lance jokes, his Scottish accent more pronounced than normal.
Miller flips him the bird. “Eat a dick. I’m bloated.”
“I only eat Poppy.” Lance grins. “And yer bloated, my ass. Yer gonna need to do some serious sprints at training camp if yer wantin’ to get rid of your dad bod before the season starts.”
Miller looks down at his stomach and frowns. “It’s not that bad.”
Randy looks up from his phone to add his two cents. “You two sound like teenage girls after gym class. What’s next, a vagina-waxing session?”
Rookie snorts beside him, but keeps his mouth shut otherwise.
“We should have a preseason barbecue or something, celebrate the end of summer, eh?” I suggest.
“That’s pretty much every weekend at your place, isn’t it?” Randy asks.
“I was thinking I might invite the whole team this time, kind of a good way to bring in the new season since we’re going in without The Cup this year.” Only making the first round of playoffs last season was a blow after the past few years, so I want to find a way to boost team morale.
“That’s a good idea. Welcoming the new guys to the team off the ice is smart,” Darren agrees.
Rookie laces his hands behind his head and looks over to Lance. “Too bad you’re not still throwing parties, Romance.”
“Pretty sure Poppy would hand him his balls on a platter if he was still inviting the bunnies over.” Randy rubs a palm over his beard.
“Pretty fucking sure my girl would make donuts out of them if I pulled that shit.” Lance shifts around, as if the image in his head makes him uncomfortable. “You’re welcome to invite all the bunnies to yer place anytime, Rookie. Just don’t be surprised if we take a pass on that party.” He motions to the rest of us. “Since we’d all like to keep our balls.”
“And I’m not a fan of sleeping in the spare room,” Miller adds.
“Calm your tits, guys. It was a joke.” Rookie makes a simmer down gesture. “My bunny days are over. I’m just saying, if anyone’s got a sister, or a cute cousin they want to introduce me to—”
Randy swats Rookie with his towel. “Dude. No.”
“What? Miller’s married to Alex’s sister, and Alex is married to Miller’s sister,” Rookie points out.
“Yeah, and you weren’t here to see these two trying to break each other’s noses every time one of them so much as breathed the wrong way. You keep your dick away from our relatives and you won’t risk losing it,” Randy replies.
“He’s only saying that because he has a younger sister,” Darren says with a wry smile.
“Really?” Rookie perks right now. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”
“There’s a reason for that,” Randy mutters. “She lives in A
ustralia, so it’s pretty unlikely you’ll meet her. Ever.”
“Oh.” Rookie turns back to me. “So when’s this party gonna happen?”
“This weekend, maybe? That should be enough time to throw something together.”
“Don’t you think you should check with Violet first?” Miller arches a blond eyebrow.
I wave him off. “I’m sure she’ll be fine with it. We always have people over on the weekend.”
“Yeah, but usually it’s just us, not the whole team. Don’t you remember what happened the last time you threw a big party?” Miller taps his knee and gives me a meaningful look.
“What happened last time?” Rookie asks.
“Nothing.” I turn back to Miller. “There won’t be Jell-O shooters this time. Or a vodka watermelon.”
“You still might want to ask before you go inviting the entire team over is all I’m sayin’,” he mutters.
“It’ll be fine. We’ll plan it for Saturday afternoon. It’s supposed to be nice out.”
_______________
Violet stands in the middle of the kitchen with her hands on her hips. She does not look impressed. Her boobs, however, look fantastic in the bikini top she’s wearing. I love it when she works from home and uses the opportunity to get a little sun at the same time. “The whole team, Alex?”
I drag my gaze back up to her face and give her my best, reassuring smile. “It’ll be great for morale and it’s a good way to get to know the newer players. It’ll help make them feel like they’re part of something awesome. You won’t have to do anything. I’ve got everything covered. I’m already on food and booze. All you have to do is wear a bathing suit and have a good time.” I motion to her current attire. Well, mostly I motion to her boobs.
“You’re already on food and booze?”
She doesn’t seem the least bit swayed by my positive morale for the team spiel based on how incredulous she seems. Also, this is the second time she’s repeated the things I say back to me. I’m taking this as a bad sign. “I’ll take care of everything, baby. You don’t have to worry about a thing.”
Pucks & Penalties: Pucked Series Deleted Scenes and Outtakes Version 2.0 (The Pucked Series) Page 22