"Hardly. The Blairs are of the old kind, when every laird truly was a king. They barely noticed when England tried to give Scotland an Englishman as a king, and they actually laughed at the Bruce when he tried to claim their loyalty and their men for his war."
Even in England, she had heard about the might and the cunning of the would-be ruler of Scotland, Robert the Bruce.
"What did they do when he asked?"
"Just as I said. Laughed and sent him on his way as if he were a boy begging for bread. It wasn't worth his time to pry them out of their mountain, and at least they wouldn't attack his back like some would. They're Blairs, and they go their own way."
"So, Ava?"
"More of a rover than the rest of her family, but she keeps to the old ways, too. Did you see any cows with them?
Elizabeth wondered for a moment of Reade had the fever again and she just hadn't noticed.
"No? Why would you ask me that?"
"Because she's a raider, lass. She's after cattle for the Blair stronghold, and when her father wouldn't give her men to go on her first raid, she found the worst criminals she could find and took them instead. If she's this far south, I would say she's after the MacLaughlin herds. Good. It's no business of mine then."
Elizabeth couldn't help but prickle a little uneasily at how easily he spoke of the raider. There was a fondness there that became more obvious the more he spoke of her, and Elizabeth stomped on the worm of jealousy that was beginning to gnaw on her heart.
"You have met her before this, it seems."
"Yes. We were caught in a storm close to the coast, and we spent some time at the same inn. She wore her hair short then to pass as a boy, but I knew her from traveling in the North years back. We passed the time together, I told her to steer clear of MacTaggart lands, and after that, we had plenty to talk about and drink to."
"Was it because of the conditions of your birth?"
Elizabeth supposed she could see it. A bastard's life was terribly difficult in London, even when he or she was recognized as some of the nobles' children were. It could hardly be any easier in the Highlands of Scotland.
Reade looked up, and for a moment, Elizabeth thought that she had spoken too hastily, picked at a wound that she had already said that she would no longer trouble. What did it matter to her what their connection was as long as they were good friends, so long as they were kind to each other?
"Oh, I'm sorry, Reade, I—"
Then her words trailed off as she really took in the expression on Reade's face. It wasn't offense, and it wasn't hurt, as she had feared it was. Instead, it was confusion.
The realization struck her like a hammer falling from the sky.
He had no idea what she was talking about.
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chapter 25
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Reade stared at Elizabeth for a moment. Her words simply did make any sense to him. What in the world did he have in common with wild and strange Ava FitzWarren? Then he saw the shocked and dismayed look on Elizabeth's face, and he remembered in a rush.
"Ah. Well, I suppose that must have had something to do with it—"
"Reade. Reade, stop."
"It's true, only—"
"Stop!"
The word burst from Elizabeth's throat with a force that came from deep inside her, and there was something so tortured about it that Reade drew back a little, an inkling of horror on her face. To see that expression on the face of the woman he had just bedded, with whom he had shared so much pleasure such a short time before gave Reade a sinking feeling in his stomach.
For a moment they were frozen, and Reade found himself wishing that that moment could last forever. Inside this moment, when they were still, before another word passed between them and ruined everything that they had shared, he could almost pretend that everything was fine.
Then Elizabeth shook her head, leaping to her feet. He could see her hands shaking as she put her clothes back on, first her shift and then her gown, fumbling with the heavy material.
"It was all a lie, wasn't it, Reade?"
"Elizabeth..."
"Wasn't it?"
Reade, who had always been so very clever with words, felt as if there was a stone in his throat, something that no amount of pushing or pulling would remove. he had never been at such a loss for words when he so needed them.
Elizabeth stared at him, and in that moment, Reade felt as if he would have torn his own tongue out by the roots if it would only have healed some of the hurt on her face. She didn't look as if her feelings had been injured. She looked as if she had been gutted, as if the world had burned down around her, and she no longer had anywhere to turn. The realization that it was he himself who had caused her this pain tore at him, and Reade wanted to look away.
"Can't you even speak to me now?"
She turned away, but instead of pacing the room as he had thought she was going to, she darted out of the hut entirely. For a blind moment, Reade only stared after her in shock, and then with a curse, he was on his feet, putting on his trews, and running barechested after her. The moon had risen, giving them just enough to see by, and he saw a flash of motion to his left, moving into the forest.
The harsh spring wind caught Reade like a knife across bare flesh, and he was still barefoot, but none of that mattered because he had to get to Elizabeth.
He might have said it was because that there were strange folks abroad that evening, and he might have said that it was due to the ravines and cliffs in the North, which could appear under one’s feet if one did not know and respect the mountain. All of those things were true, and Elizabeth could do herself a serious harm if he let her go. However, at the end of all of it, there was the realization that Elizabeth was hurt, and he could not allow her to think he wouldn't come after her.
To Reade's relief, she didn't go far. He caught up with her in a small clearing amidst the trees, sitting tailor-fashion in front of a large tree, her elbows on her knees and her fists pressed against her eyes.
For a moment, Reade simply watched her from a short distance away, at a loss as to what to do. If she stayed still, she wasn't going to hurt herself, and it was clear from the way she curled up on herself that there was nothing she wanted him from at the moment. However, he couldn't leave her either, and at some point, he would need to explain himself.
He wondered as he stepped closer what he was going to say, and then a bitter laugh came from deep inside him.
Perhaps I should just tell her the truth. After all, that seems to be what I'm inclined to do anyway. Heaven above, Aidan should have sent a child to do my job; I'm certainly not doing it well right now.
"Elizabeth?"
"Go away."
"You know that I cannot do that, lass."
"Of course, you can. I am perfectly fine to sit here and... and be utterly furious for a short while."
"Ah, well then, there should be no problem with me sitting by you, is there?"
Elizabeth opened her eyes in anger, but when she saw that Reade sat some distance away, beyond touching distance, she seemed at least a little appeased.
"Elizabeth. I lied to you. I'm sorry."
"And I lied to you. I suppose you think that makes us even."
"Doesn't it?"
"No! Of course, it doesn't! I lied because... because I needed to get away from my uncle. I did it because I was afraid for my life and what would become of me. I've never been away from London before last year, and now here I am in the North! I was lying because I was terrified."
Reade's heart ached at her trembling words. How could her small frame hold on to all of that emotion and not shatter? He could feel the truth of her words, and he yearned to draw her into his arms and hang on tight. Instead, he shrugged.
"I wasn't afraid, but I did have a job to do. I won't apologize for it."
"Why don't you just start by telling me about it? Were you forced? Were you paid? Tell me what is ha
ppening, please. Tell me who you are. I have traveled with you all this time, done things with... I have cared for you and allowed you to care for me. What does it mean when I don't know who you are?"
Understanding struck Reade hard, and now he did come closer to Elizabeth. He took her hand gently, wincing at how cold she felt, and he squeezed it gently.
"I haven't changed, you know. It wasn't as if you lifted a curtain and realized, I don't know, that there was a demon under my skin. I have lied about a few things, but not who I am. Everything I have done with you, every time we have been together, it has been real. What we did tonight, together, that was real."
Her eyes came up to seek his. It was too dark to see anything more than just the hint of blue, but something about meeting her gaze just then struck him through the heart. He realized he couldn't bear it if she said what they had done together was something she would take back, and that made him understand, better than anything else had in the past.
I love her. He pushed the thought away because surely that was wrong, wasn't it? He wanted her. He wanted to protect her. Perhaps at some point, that had twisted together into something that was tangled now inside him.
"Do you swear? Do you swear to me that it's true?"
"I do."
"Then tell me. Right now. Who are you?"
Reade took a deep breath.
"I'm Reade MacTaggart of Clan MacTaggart. I'm no bastard, but the MacTaggart clan is known throughout the South as being loyal to Robert the Bruce. We were there for his first charge, and my father died there, these several years ago."
"Oh... oh, Reade, I'm so sorry."
"The old man died as he would have wished, roaring at the English and cursing them so viciously the devil came up and asked him to be a bit gentler about it. We are loyal, but we aren't stupid, and this peace that the Bruce and Longshanks came up with never struck us as more than a season of peace in a year of war."
Elizabeth's eyes widened, and he wondered how much she could even have known about the war, safe in London, until very recently.
"You think the peace won't last?"
"Lass, the smallest baby on the mountain knows it won't. It can't. The English still think we all need to bend a knee to a man who wasn't born of Scottish rock, and the Scottish clans would rather burn down their own crofts than let that happen. No, it won't last. So, at the bidding of the clan head, I came south to get the lay of the land."
"A... a spy?"
Reade grinned.
"Does it shock you?"
"I don't know. I suppose I never thought much about what a spy might look like."
"Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? I wasn't meant to be skulking at court or hiding behind curtains. I just came south to see what people are talking about. Can the English muster their forces to attack quickly, before the truce is even called off? Do the soldiers wish to do so, no matter what their commanders say?"
Reade hesitated.
"It was no easy thing to be so long from home, lass. I did it, and I'm almost done. And the only thing I knew was that if anyone found out who I really was, I might be quietly taken and hanged to compensate some father, husband, or son lost in the war."
"Surely not! The peace..."
"The war has never stopped. And I was in enemy land. And I am still sorry."
Elizabeth was as still as stone for a moment, and he thought she would turn from him after all. Then, between one breath and another, she was in his arms, her hands sliding against his chest, her face tilting up to his.
"I understand," she said, and the relief that flowed through him was so vast that he threw away every chain holding him in check and bore her to the ground.
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chapter 26
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Elizabeth felt as if she were flooded with emotion, with feelings, with the sensation of being held in Reade's arms and overwhelmed by his sheer masculinity. It was all too much, and at the same time, it was nowhere near enough. She felt starved for him suddenly, as if the world would end if she couldn't feel his skin next to hers, if he didn't kiss her. The hunger that had flared up before threatened to do so again, and by Heaven, she wanted it more than she had before.
“Please, Reade... please...”
She knew he had heard her plea because a shudder went through him. His lips came over hers with a desperation just short of devouring, and like a supplicant or a martyr, she gave herself over to it. His mouth over hers was hard and demanding, and she could feel a desperation to him that she wasn't sure she had ever felt before.
We have been too close to death recently. We have been apart too much, and with too much at risk.
It felt as if she had been running for far too long. She had never been safe, never had a moment where she was sure of what she was doing and what came next. Now their night of passion made it feel as if she had slipped her skin like a snake, and the creature revealed underneath was something that could not be denied. There was no past, and there was no future. All that mattered was that she was in this moment with Reade on top of her, his heavy body held up on his elbows.
He was so warm she didn't feel the spring chill at all, and when she tangled her fingers in his thick black hair, she leaned up for his mouth.
Reade's kisses left her mouth deliciously sensitive, and he didn't stop there. Instead, his lips moved down to her chin, and then to her throat. She could feel the way his teeth nipped at the skin and the blood that flowed just below it. The idea of his sharp teeth so close to her tender flesh made her whimper, but she didn't push him away. She couldn't. All she felt throughout her entire body was a need for him that seemed to replace her very blood.
“You're so very beautiful, lass,” he murmured. “Never in all my days on this earth have I ever seen a thing like you.”
There was something almost worshipful about the way he said it, and for some reason, that felt right. The need uncoiling between them was so powerful and so all-consuming, she wasn't sure there was room for anything else.
“All I want is you,” she whispered, her eyes closing. For some reason, it was hard to look at him just then. A word trembled on the tip of her tongue, a word she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt had no place here, not when they were so different, not when he would deliver her to her cousin in just a short while. She swallowed it back, even if it was the hardest thing she had ever done, and she clung to him even more tightly.
“All I see is you,” Reade growled, pulling the neckline of her dress down. Her dress had been made for a larger woman, and he pulled it down easily, exposing her breasts, barely covered by the edge of her shift to the cool air. Out of startled modesty, she reached up to cover them, but then she gasped when she felt Reade's mouth gliding over her sensitive skin.
“Oh... oh, Reade, it's so much...”
“But do you like it?”
“Yes, oh, yes...”
The sound he made was more like a growl than anything else, and it went right to the very core of her, sending shivers of delicious sensations through her belly, her thighs, even the space behind her knees and the soles of her feet. It should never have affected her that much, it was only his mouth on her skin, giving her goosebumps as he used his lips and his tongue to make her feel things she had only guessed at.
She was burning up slowly, her entire body tingling with need and beauty. How could anyone say that this was wrong? How could it be wrong to lie under the open sky, to feel a man she needed like she needed to breathe running his hands down her flanks?
“MacTaggart. Elizabeth.”
The voice was dry and low, the last thing that she wanted to hear in that moment. For a moment, they both froze, and then Reade lunged off of her, spinning around to put himself between her and any danger. Moving more slowly, Elizabeth climbed to her feet and pulled her dress down into some semblance of dignity. It was likely a lost cause given what the speaker had probably heard and perhaps even seen, but she had to do somethi
ng.
When she peeked around Reade's shoulder, Elizabeth was startled to see Ava there, a dim shape in the darkness, recognizable only by the length of her curly hair.
“Ava. What in the blazes do you think you're playing at?” growled Reade.
“Something far less amusing than you were, for certain sure,” came the amused response. “No, don't look all threatening like you're going to drop a mountain on me. Come back to camp. My man was scouting ahead, and he learned something that you very much want to know.”
Reade muttered something too low for Elizabeth to hear, but then he turned to her.
“Are you all right?”
“I am.” Elizabeth was proud of the fact that her voice barely wavered.
“All right. Let's go.”
Elizabeth felt a pang at leaving the clearing, and it wasn't all about the pleasure that was draining from her body as she walked through the cold. It felt as if there had been some kind of safety there, some moment of possibility, and now it was gone forever.
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chapter 27
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The walk through the woods was colder than the run out, and by the time they made it back to the hunter's hut, Reade was shivering a little. He was gratified and oddly warmed when Elizabeth darted into the hut to retrieve his shirt and his tunic, and as he pulled them over his head, Ava's men gathered around them.
Ava pointed toward one of them, who stepped forward nervously. He stuttered when he spoke, but there was no hint of a lie or trick in his voice, and what he said made Reade's hackles rise.
“English soldiers with their shields all painted black, but they didn't act like any blank-shield soldiers I knew. They were camped down south of the ridge, and at first, I thought they was just another raiding party. Turns out they're not, and they're looking for an English girl what's been kidnapped from her home and brought north.”
Reade swore. He could almost feel Elizabeth shrinking behind him, hear her heart beat faster like that of a hunted rabbit, but when he glanced at her, he could see her lift her chin proudly and stand a little ways away from him. For a moment, he had no idea why she would have wanted to do that, and then he realized that the men around them were stirring, looking at Elizabeth speculatively, taking in the fact that he had left his sword in the hut.
Claimed By The Highlander (The Highlands Warring Clan Mactaggarts Book 1) Page 13