by Gerald Lopez
“I forgive myself!” both men yelled out loud into the night.
Bart stood in front of Gabriel and held both his hands. “This is the hard part, Gabriel. You need to forgive Mr. Orion. Don’t hold onto any of it—for your sake, so that you can give all of yourself to James one day. Don’t let yourself be held in bondage to those men. Not mentally or physically.”
“I won’t… not anymore,” Gabriel said. He squeezed Bart’s hands and tears flowed from his eyes as he yelled. “I forgive you, Uncle Orion, I refuse to hold onto the pain anymore! I forgive you, father, in order to be free one day. I forgive you!”
Holding hands, both men ran into the water and dove underneath it. Upon returning to the surface, Bart turned to Gabriel. “You’re reborn, fresh and clean, Gabriel. Let freedom ring now!”
Gabriel kissed Bart on the lips, and Bart kissed him back.
“I feel like I kissed myself when I kissed you,” Gabriel said. “Like I kissed myself, and it was good. I’m good.”
They left the water and lay back on the sheet.
“Will you come back to my home with me for a while?” Gabriel said to Bart. “I mean my home while I’m here. One of my men will be arriving soon, and I could either have him take you back, or you can go with me.”
“I don’t understand,” Bart said. “You drove us here.”
“Yes, but I’m staying on my yacht. My man will be arriving soon in a motorboat. I’ll take that, and he’ll take the car back to the garage, where I keep it.”
“I’ve never been on a yacht before,” Bart said.
“Yacht it is, then,” Gabriel said.
Bart smiled, then realized he didn’t know the reason why Gabriel had brought him to the beach. Yes, I’ve been tested, he thought, and I’ve not only passed… I’ve actually bonded with Gabriel. But what was the initial reason for this quiet getaway.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a motorboat approaching. Gabriel and Bart wrapped the sheets around their waists, then gathered up the wrist wallets and other things. The driver of the motor boat waved to them.
“That’s as close as he can come,” Gabriel said. “We have to go to him from here.”
“Lead on,” Bart said.
They managed to make it to the motor boat without getting their belongings too wet, and the driver helped them on board. Gabriel took his keys from his wrist wallet and handed them to the driver, who was a slim older man with a receding hairline. The man, who was bare chested and barefoot, kissed Gabriel’s cheek, then Bart’s cheek, before he jumped off the side of the boat. Gabriel waited until the man waved from the shore before leaving.
“That was an affectionate hello and goodbye,” Bart said.
“The man is my uncle on my mother’s side,” Gabriel said.
Gabriel drove the motorboat to the small and exclusive yacht club, where his yacht was docked. While the motorboat was being tied down, Bart admired the large white yacht moored next to it.
“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Gabriel said, looking toward the yacht. “She’s all mine and fully paid for, using money I earn as an accountant, and the money my mother left me. All of it clean, honest money.”
“I don’t know anything about yachts, but she is beautiful,” Bart said.
“And she’s all ours for the night,” Gabriel said, giving Bart a hand out of the motorboat.
The night was quiet. People were either asleep in their boats, or out eating and partying. When they boarded the yacht, its gleaming wood floors caught Bart’s eyes.
“I love the floors,” Bart said, “they’re so shiny… and smooth underfoot.” He ran his bare foot across the floor.
“People are usually barefoot on deck, so the floors had better be smooth,” Gabriel said, and chuckled. “I’ve really got the laughs tonight. I suppose, at least, some of it’s nerves.”
“You’re not still nervous… are you?” Bart said.
“Not really, maybe just leftover nervousness. Would you like a soda?”
“Yes, please.”
“Follow me, then,” Gabriel said, walking upstairs to the upper deck.
Bart followed behind Gabriel, and found himself in an open space with a table and chairs in the center. There was also a built-in bar, which Gabriel went behind. He walked back carrying two cans of Coca-Cola and a large bag of chips.
“Let me give you a hand,” Bart said, taking one of the colas. He followed Gabriel to the area next to the table, which featured an immense lounger and Jacuzzi. “The Jacuzzi looks more tempting than the snacks right now. Can we get in? After we shower and get the beach sand off our bodies.”
“Of course,” Gabriel said.
The showered then headed back to the Jacuzzi. Gabriel set the cola and chips in a holder by the lounger and slipped inside the Jacuzzi. He watched Bart as he followed suit. “Bubbles, or no bubbles?”
“Bubbles,” Bart said, laying his head back. “This is pure Heaven, Gabriel.”
“I’m glad you like it. James likes boats. He used to take me on boat rides around the island while I was there.”
“Nice,” Bart said.
“It was nice. James would usually be dressed only in Speedos. He’d try to sunbathe, but never could tan.” He smiled. “That was OK by me. I think his pale skin makes him look like an angel. His whole body is beautiful to me. It’s so slender… and he’s got the blondest treasure trail coming down from his innie belly button.”
“Surely, you’ve seen him naked?” Bart said.
“I haven’t been that lucky yet, but I do like what I’ve seen so far. I remember him having the pinkest nipples I’d ever seen on a man. They would get really erect when he’d take his shirt off and I wanted to suck on them so badly.” He laughed. “Sorry, I’m going on a bit, and not about the most appropriate things.”
“Oh, that’s alright. You’re just a man in love. I can understand that.”
“I know you can.”
“Gabriel, what is this all about? Why am I here?”
“Why?” Gabriel said. “Do you want to leave?”
“No. I’m so lost here in Maynard Shores… I suppose I just want answers.”
“I watched you at the club the night you heard me arguing with my cousin,” Gabriel said.
“I didn’t think you even knew who I was yet.”
“I lied—sorry. My cousin pointed you out when you walked in with your friends.
“And?” Bart said, intrigued.
“And… if I can be completely honest.”
“I’d prefer that you be totally honest,” Bart said.
“OK, then,” Gabriel said. “I’d seen you at the club before the accident, when you were your old self. You were significantly more awkward and self-conscious. The way you walked into the club the other night was completely different. You walked in with the kind of confident stride that could never be learned or acquired. Anyone in that club was yours for the taking… and you were well aware of that. I think we’ve been in the Jacuzzi long enough.” He shut off the bubbles and slipped over the side of the Jacuzzi onto the attached built-in lounger.
Bart was apprehensive, but got out of the Jacuzzi, picked up his can of soda, and lay down next to Gabriel, who had his own soda and the chips in hand.
“The amnesia can probably explain some of my new behavior,” Bart said.
“Amnesia can change the mind, I suppose; but the body would remember, I think. The thing is that you walk very lightly on your feet. Your body moves like it’s never carried around an excess of weight.” He ran his finger around Bart’s nipple, then down his chest and around his waist. “Your chest is smooth, no more puffiness at the nipples, and no stretch marks from having been fatter. The old Jeremy and I had a long conversation one day, while walking on the gay nudist beach in the area after a swim. The old you was checking the beach out in order to decide if you could recommend it or not to gay guests. You trusted me enough to ask me to go along with you. That’s when we talked about James and Bart. It was a good c
onversation with a good man. A man I think very highly of.”
“The old Jeremy was worth your high praise,” Bart said. “The newly returned one has significantly more faults.”
“The new Jeremy is significantly more comfortable with his sexuality, and using it to his advantage with people like Reese.”
“Reese is a good guy. But you’re right, I used him to get in with your cousin’s group. He’s attractive, and I won’t lie and say it hasn’t been fun with him. He’s helped me forget my problems for a while.”
“I doubt you’ve forgotten your problems completely, even with him,” Gabriel said.
“You didn’t mention Mr. Orion. I’ve worked my ways on your godfather too, in an attempt to find out what I need to know.”
“I know that,” Gabriel said. “But you helped him too. You came here to use me as well. At Judge Haymond’s urging, I have no doubt.”
“He honestly loves you, Gabriel. No matter what you think… believe that. And yes, I came here to find out what, if anything you know about this chupa thing. But somehow this night has gone very differently than I ever imagined. It’s been difficult.”
“How so?” Gabriel said.
“How could I not feel for you, when you’ve been through so much? And I know that for some reason we’ve bonded in a way that’s real. But it just doesn’t make sense. The judge said you could be an ally, but I know you’ve been testing me all night… trying to see who I really am. I’m confused, and that’s one thing I can’t afford to be right now. Not with so many lives at stake.”
“Drink your soda and let me put your mind at ease,” Gabriel said. “I’m not your enemy, but I’m as much in the dark here as you are regarding the chupa. Uncle Marcus told me about the people who are getting sick from it, and he says he’s not involved. But there must be a reason my father sent me here, and it must involve both my uncles in some way.”
“We know it involves at least one uncle’s family member—your cousin Rachel.”
“She’s a lost cause,” Gabriel said. “And she’s nowhere near smart enough to be in charge of this operation. I promise, I’ll be whatever help to you I can be regarding this situation.”
“This night has been more than crazy, Gabriel.”
“Yes, it has,” Gabriel said, turning to face Bart. He kissed him, and was kissed back.
They continued kissing and letting their hands feel each other’s bodies. Gabriel kissed Bart’s neck, and whispered to him.
“I don’t understand any of this. Why do I feel so close to you right now?”
“I’m not sure what’s going on myself, remember,” Bart said. “But I feel the same way. Like I really know and can see you, just as much as I know you can see me.”
“I’ve always seen you, even before you first came here,” Gabriel said. “I saw you through him, and couldn’t help but know you when I first saw you. It’s as if he’s brought us together for this time.” He whispered the next thing directly in Bart’s ear as low as he could. “I loved him as a friend, and I love you too, Bart.”
“I don’t know what to say, Gabriel. I can’t lie to you.”
“Shhh, say no more—not now. Not until everything you need to do here is done and finished.”
“There’s more you want to ask, though, isn’t there?” Bart said.
“There are things I want to ask, but I don’t expect you to answer them,” Gabriel said. “First and foremost, I wonder if you’re here to enact vengeance for a loved one you’ve lost… or here in an attempt to help someone you love, who’s hovering between life and death.”
Chapter 37
Strange Sensibility
“IT’S GOOD you’re not expecting answers to some of your questions,” Bart said. “That way, you won’t be disappointed. But why do I think you still haven’t told me the real reason for your bringing me here yet?”
“Because we know each other well… very well,” Gabriel said. “I’m actually feeling a little embarrassed and ashamed regarding my original intention. My reasons for bringing you here are selfish and self-serving.”
“Do they involve James?”
“Like I said, we know each other well,” Gabriel said.
“Gabriel,” Bart said. “I know you told me that you and James have never been sexually involved, but… I’m not sure how to ask this. Have you had any actual lovers?”
Gabriel laughed before answering. “Oh, yes. Being raped as a child didn’t keep me from being able to love. I always knew I preferred men. When I was a teenager, I had a short-lived romance with a young soldier, who was only a year older than me.”
“He wasn’t killed, was he?” Bart said.
“No. I was careful never to flaunt my romances around anyone who might report back to my father. Things got easier when I went away to school.”
“I should think,” Bart said.
“But I do have to admit that… as you can probably tell, bottoming isn’t my thing, because of what happened to me. I’d love to try it one day with someone I trust like James or you, but as you can see, I have a problem even getting together with James.”
“I guess the problem with James is he messed up your father’s plans to trade you for whatever he wanted from that man. That caused him to pop up on your father’s radar; otherwise, he’d never even know James existed.”
“Father doesn’t like being bested,” he said. “But he’s not the only one standing between James and me.” Gabriel said, looking at Bart.
“You’re being ridiculous again,” Bart said. “James is needy, that’s all. He was probably one of those nerdy guys in high school who had no friends. Even today, he feels like an outcast. He’s a good and honorable person. People like him don’t fit in with the popular folks. Especially, when the ‘popular’ crowd here seems to revolve around your cousin Rachel.”
“Not the best fit there,” Gabriel said.
“James fell for the old Jeremy, because he probably extended a hand of friendship, and showed him innocent attention when he needed it. Sometimes, folks like James think more of friendly actions than they should.”
“At the island resort, James had plenty of friends, but he always felt alone and out of place here,” Gabriel said. “He needed a friend, and I couldn’t come around as often as I would’ve liked. But Jeremy was always here.”
“Yes, but you know whatever James’s feelings are regarding the old or new Jeremy can’t be real,” Bart said. “It’s just something for him to hang onto in order to survive this place. I’m sure he hates being here, and would love nothing better than to be back on his island.”
“I know James’s feelings and desires for… well, for you know who… aren’t real, but they are there.”
Everything was crystal clear for Bart now. He only wondered why it’d taken him so long to figure things out.
“You’re quiet again,” Gabriel said. “What’s going through your mind?”
“I’m thinking there’s a strange sensibility to your plan,” Bart said, “but it’s not without flaws.”
“So, you’ve figured it out, then? I’m not surprised.”
“You want him to have his way with me in order to get it out of his system, so to speak. It’s not like it would be any big deal for someone like me, who’s been slutting around left and right since being here.”
“You’ve merely been using whatever you have to in order to meet your goal,” Gabriel said. “I’d never think of you as a slut—even if you screwed everyone in this whole damned town. But you’re right; I was going to ask you to sleep with James in exchange for my help when the time comes that you’ll need it. I’m ashamed for even thinking of the idea.”
“It’s a good idea, if enacted within certain parameters,” Bart said.
“Those being what?” Gabriel said.
“James gets what he wants, and I make all the rules. And it happens tonight.”
“What?” Gabriel said in shock.
“You heard me,” Bart said. “In a few minutes
, call James and invite him over. Gabriel, if this works, what are you going to do next? Your father’s still in the picture. ”
“For now… but hopefully not for long,” Gabriel said. “I have a feeling Father is getting ready to retire soon, and I’ve been helping groom my uncle, who picked us up in the motor boat, to take over. Bribes have already been paid to ensure a smooth transition when the time comes.”
“That explains why you seem eager to make a move on James,” Bart said. “Does it also explain why you were sent here? Is your father trying to set up shop in Maynard Shores, so he can retire here?”
“You asked me a similar question earlier,” Gabriel said. “It’s possible that’s what my father has planned, but he’s also been sending me to Miami and Palm Beach. That’s why I’m so unsure of exactly what he’s doing.” He left the lounger, and put his cola and the bag of chips on the table. Without saying a word, he walked back to the outdoor shower that was in a corner of the space.
Bart got in the shower behind Gabriel, and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Don’t feel bad about your plan. We’re friends now, and friends can ask anything of one another. I don’t expect a thing in return. If you help me, do so because you want to and not because you feel you have to.”
“I want to help—and I will,” Gabriel said.
Chapter 38
Giving Gifts
AFTER SHOWERING, Gabriel excused himself and went inside the yacht. Bart took the top towel from a pile of clean towels next to the shower and used it to dry off. When he was finished, he threw it over his shoulder and went to the bag of chips Gabriel had left on the table. He was eating some chips when Gabriel returned wearing a white terry cloth robe and carrying another one, which he helped Bart into.
“I called James, and he’s on his way,” Gabriel said.
“Good,” Bart said, trying not to be nervous.
“I can tell you’re nervous,” Gabriel said. “So am I, but this shouldn’t be any big deal… right?