by Frost, Sosie
I heaved, but nothing came out. Damn it. The one time I might have wielded morning sickness as a weapon. Even Lachlan’s baby tried to defend his father.
“You’d cut Lachlan?” I whispered.
“And for good reasons. He’s not performing. He can’t adjust to the demands of the league. He’s overwhelmed. Probably over-rated as well.”
“That’s not true.”
“But these pictures will help him,” Peter said. “Do this, and the coaches can guide Lachlan. They’ll better prepare him for the season opener. If we know the Monarch’s defensive schemes, we can create a game plan which will let Lachlan exploit weaknesses in their secondary. He’ll be a damn hero.”
“But—”
“Every team does this,” he said. “Football is played half on the field, and half in the espionage between clubhouses. Don’t you want Lachlan to be prepared for the most important game of his life?”
Coach Thompson shrugged. “Or I can just cut him now and find a replacement. It’s your choice, Elle. Both of you can stay…or both of you can go.”
I gritted my teeth. “You really are an asshole.”
“I’m giving you the opportunity to save his career and build one of your own.”
“I don’t need to cheat to advance my career.”
“This is a good opportunity,” Coach Thompson said. “Do this, and you’ll both succeed. Refuse, and Lachlan gets cut and never finds work in the league again. You’ll be disgraced and scandalized in the media, and nothing you say will be taken seriously by the reporters or Frank Bennett.” He snorted. “And your relationship? I don’t think a baby can hold together your rock-solid marriage.”
Peter agreed. “Especially if Lachlan realizes you could have saved his position with a few harmless pictures.”
“Are you really that selfish, Elle?” Coach Thompson asked. “Think of Lachlan. Think of the team. Think of your baby.”
“Don’t you dare.” I covered my belly with a hand. “I can’t believe you’d do this.”
“Can we take that as a yes?” Peter asked.
Damn it.
Maybe I’d never look my child in the eye, maybe I’d forever be ashamed of my actions, but I’d do whatever I could to make sure my baby had food on the table, a house over her head, and all the opportunities and love I never had growing up.
I’d be a fool to destroy a chance for my child to have such a stable, happy, and healthy life.
“I’ll do it,” I said, softly.
I reached for the nudes.
Coach Thompson pulled the photographs away. “I think I’ll keep these for myself.”
Sleaze.
Peter handed me a plane ticket, destination Atwood. “You’ll leave in ten days. Get as many pictures as you can. We’ll handle the analysis, and you’ll travel to the next city and team we play to start the reconnaissance.”
“For how long?”
“Cross your fingers,” Coach Thompson said. “With your help, we might reach the championship game again this year.”
“And you’ll keep Lachlan on the team?”
“That part is up to you, Elle.”
Yeah. It was.
And I’d do it to protect the man I loved…and the child he didn’t know we’d created.
18
Elle
Lachlan’s third date required an overnight bag, my slinkiest lingerie, and safety goggles.
But I hadn’t packed anything yet, and I wouldn’t.
I wasn’t leaving my apartment until I told Lachlan the truth—if not about the Rivets’ cheating, then at least about the baby. And even then…I wasn’t sure either of us were prepared for the trouble to come.
Lachlan didn’t knock. He conducted a drum solo against my door. I might have regretted letting him inside if he hadn’t spun me in his arms, kissed me, and grinned with those sweetheart dimples.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he said. “Wanna stay married to me?”
“We’ll see how you feel after today, Charming.”
“Nothing’s gonna change my mind.”
“Here’s hoping.”
It was the first time he had genuinely smiled in a week. The day off helped, especially after a tough exhibition game. He’d played better and looked more comfortable, but he looked happier getting off the field than stepping on it.
That was the real problem.
And that was why he planned the date. It was an excuse to do something wild, crazy, and fun for the adrenaline rush he craved.
Well…I’d give him a decent shock, and I’d do it without leaving the apartment.
Efficiency was a crucial component to a successful marriage.
“Mrs. Reed…” Lachlan nipped my bottom lip. “I hope you’re ready for the most perfect, unbelievable, exciting date of your life.”
I gave a nervous laugh. “Right back at ya.”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“I’m guessing mine’s bigger.”
Lachlan kissed me, summoning a devilish heat. I shouldn’t have tightened my grip on him. The secret was already suffocating me, and I lost my last gasp of air groaning against his lips.
I had to do it quick. First a kiss. Then the talk.
I’d spill the surprise and blow his mind. I could blow his cock, too, if he needed some reassurance after I blitzed him with the truth.
“Are you ready for today?” Lachlan’s grin turned mischievous. That was my first warning.
“We’re not breaking any laws, are we?”
“We might have to consult some local municipal statutes for what I plan later…” His eyebrows waggled. “But as far as I can tell, this is nothing but fun.”
“Okay?”
“I found the ultimate wilderness experience.”
Uh-oh, that didn’t sound good.
“It’s a three-hour zip-lining tour through the mountains—”
No way. “Lachlan…”
“It has the fastest zip-lines on the east coast.”
“Whoa, wait.”
“We’ll be swinging through the trees, right? And then we’ll blast into a freaking canyon. We’ll fly across the gorge, careening about two hundred feet in the air above a river.”
I was sick just thinking about it. “I don’t think—”
“They call it Gravity.”
“Is that a name or a warning?”
“Once we reach the bottom, the same organization hosts one of the largest paintball arenas in the country. Acres of sprawling wilderness with forts and caves and sniping points.”
The doctor said I wasn’t supposed to have caffeine while pregnant. Paintball tournaments were right out.
I held my hand up. “As romantic as that sounds…”
He anticipated my resistance. “After our day, I’ve reserved our own private chalet, deep in the mountains. We can sit in a hot tub under the stars—just you, me, and very little clothing.”
“Oh.”
“Did you hear about the meteor shower tonight?” He pulled me close. “Supposed to be spectacular. You and I are gonna cuddle, have a little wine, and watch the show from the darkest spot in the state.”
Damn it.
That did sound romantic.
I bit my lip. “About that just you and me part…”
“Grab your bags. I got this whole day planned, Red. I hope you’re ready to fall in love with me.”
Been there. Dealing with that.
I slipped away from his hold. “It sounds so romantic, but I don’t think we should do it. At least, not the zip-line or paintball.”
“Come on. Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“Well, I’m pretty adventured out at the moment.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I can give you proof...” In the form an ultrasound image tucked away in my pocket.
“Elle, I’ve planned this day down to the minute. Trust me.”
I sighed. “I do…but we need to talk. It’s important.”
“A
re we finally picking out the china?” He smiled and checked his phone. “You have about five minutes before we hit the road.”
“We might need more than five minutes for this.”
“I can spare ten.”
“This is something that will impact the rest of our lives.”
“Twelve. And not a minute more.”
I’d work with it.
Now how was I going to do this without him spontaneously combusting? He had to take it sitting down. I couldn’t risk Lachlan passing out and denting his head on my countertops.
He sat on the couch, drumming his hands on his knees. For the first time, I fidgeted more than him.
I could do this. No long-winded build-ups. No flowery, fruity talk of blessings or miracles. He was a fun-loving, carefree guy. If I was going to break life-altering news to him, I needed to keep the conversation…light.
I knew one way to handle it. I grabbed my camera and hoped for the best.
“Lachlan, do you remember that day in the locker room? When you told me we were married?”
He grinned. “Yeah. Any man can propose. The real challenge is telling your woman you’re already married.”
“Sure.” I faked a smile. “And…remember how you said you would’ve loved to have a picture taken at that moment, so you could have shown me how shocked I was?”
“I’d have paid a shit-ton money for that shot, Red.”
“That’s a good sign.” I settled next to him on the couch, holding the camera at arm’s length for our selfie. “We’re going to take a picture now.”
“Clothes on?”
Enough of my nudes were already in the world. “Yep. Are you ready?”
He wrapped an arm around me, leaning close to get centered in the frame. “Will this go on the Lachlan shelf?”
“Most likely.” I took a breath. “Okay, say…We accidentally got pregnant during our date at the river, and I didn’t know how to tell you that I’m carrying your baby.”
Click.
Flash.
Silence.
I checked the image. It was a good photo. I smiled beautifully, but Lachlan…
Was about how I expected him.
This news tamed the puppy dog. His wiggles and drumming and grinning and teasing stopped.
Hell, I wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
He didn’t move.
Whoops. I broke him.
“Admittedly…” I cleared my throat. “That wasn’t the best way to tell you.”
He nodded, fast.
“I’m sorry, Lachlan,” I said. “I wanted you to know. I tried to tell you when I had laryngitis. Remember when we played charades? But you were so upset about the team. I planned to wait until it got better for you, but if you planned this big, amazing date for us...” I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “I needed a good excuse to skip the zip-lining.”
His voice hollowed. “Yeah.”
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, but his head wasn’t exactly bobbing up and down. I hurried to bring him a bottle of water. He took it. Didn’t open it. He gripped the plastic a little too hard, and the bottle crinkled in his hand.
“Careful.” I braved a smile. “No one’s water needs to break for a while.”
The bottle fell from his hand.
He wasn’t ready for jokes.
“How…” He swallowed. “How…”
“I think you know how.” I teased him. “Only one way for that sort of thing to happen. A very fun way, but, uh…nothing we had planned, obviously.”
“No, uh…” He looked up, but his eyes were hazed, a dulled green masked in shock. “How did…”
“I was on the pill. But I guess there can be accidents. I didn’t realize—”
“No. It’s not your fault.”
“I really wanted to tell you.”
“How…long have you known?”
I took a breath. “I’ve known for a month.”
He opened his mouth. No sound came out.
“Yeah, that was kinda my reaction,” I said. “It took me a while to process it.”
“I bet.”
“I just want you to know…you can be as involved as you want.”
He blinked, staring at me. His voice hardened. “You think I wouldn’t want to be involved?”
“There’s no pressure.”
“We’re married,” he said.
“Kinda? I mean, sure. We eloped, but I didn’t know if what we had was…”
“Was what?”
My stomach turned. The question was too hopeful. I revealed too much and too little. “I don’t know if what we have is real.”
Lachlan stood, frustrated. “I might be crazy, Red, or just crazy for you, but I planned to see how this marriage plays out.”
“And I want this to be a magical fairy-tale too. If you knew how…” How I felt about him. The truth knotted in the queasiness in my tummy. One wasn’t coming up without the other. “This isn’t like the time we cooked for Sebastian. We aren’t just playing house. This is real.”
“I know what it means to have a child, Elle.”
“I’m not trying to fight.”
I wasn’t sure he believed me.
Lachlan rubbed his face. “You didn’t tell me.”
“I know.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
I hadn’t meant to hurt him. “Of course I do. But I was trying to…help. I didn’t want to cause you any more stress.”
“I can handle the stress, and the team, and the games.” Lachlan’s jaw tensed. “Just like I can handle this. For Christ’s sake, Elle. You’re…pregnant.”
He sunk onto the couch again, head in his hands.
The shock returned.
I sat on the coffee table, knocking a snow globe, candle stick, and my seagull figurine out of the way. Lachlan’s hands were cold. I held them close, forcing him to look at me.
“I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you,” I said.
“Fuck me. Thanks.”
Damn it. “That’s not what I meant. We can either do this together, or we can make an arrangement. I can raise the baby by myself—”
“Like hell! You’re not going to be alone in this. I’ll be with you, every step of the way.” His voice hardened. “I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
“Our marriage was kinda sudden and probably a little foolish…” Maybe a lot foolish. “This is a baby. I’m scared, but this feels like it could be a really good thing.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t have a family growing up—I had a prison. Now it’s my chance to experience what you have with your mom and Bast. I’m going to give this baby a beautiful, loving home.”
“Absolutely.”
“And I bet, if we do this together…we could raise a pretty awesome kid.”
“I know.”
His voice strained. He looked away. Scared? Probably. Hell, I was terrified. At least I had nine months to get over the shock.
Well. Eight months now.
“Lachlan, I’ve seen you with Sebastian. You’re a natural with kids.”
“Elle—”
“I know we can do this. We can handle it. If we’ve managed the marriage so far, and we’ve gotten so…close. I’ve been feeling…a lot of things for you. And maybe it’s time—”
“Wait. I should tell you something.”
I shook my head. If I didn’t say it now, I wouldn’t say it at all. “You are a wonderful man. A little crazy sometimes. And maybe you should come with a shock collar. But it’s all part of your charm.”
“Red…”
“I hadn’t planned on starting a family yet, but now when I close my eyes, you’re the only man I can imagine in my life. It’s scary. It’s fast. It’s absolutely insane. But I know you’re going to make a great father—”
“I am a father, Elle.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean to imply…the baby’s not born, but of course you’re a father.”
; “Elle, listen to me.” Lachlan’s voice lowered. I’d never heard him so serious before. “I am a father. I already have a child.”
I pulled my hands away. “What are you talking about?”
“I kept it secret, even from you. No one knows.”
“Knows what?”
“Sebastian is my son.”
19
Lachlan
My secret was supposed to shock her. Instead I got the gut-punch.
It crushed my chest just like it had in high school, when Victoria twisted the knife and revealed that she was pregnant. But the panic never went away. Once he was born, it twisted into a different fear—an all-consuming, terrifying love that blended devotion and protectiveness and anxiety.
How was I supposed to care for a child?
My world changed after he was born. I held him in the hospital—a little four and a half-pound sack of nothing—and I felt like the tiny one. When I sang to him during his months of colic, I was the one in pain as he cried. When he spoke my name for the first time—a little squeak of Lockin!—the amazement stole my own words.
Every day with him scared the ever-loving fuck out of me, but I wasn’t upset because I had a son.
I feared how quickly he was growing up.
But he didn’t know it.
No one did.
Except for Elle.
She hadn’t moved. I pulled my phone from my pocket and snapped my own damn picture of her surprise. Elle stared at me like I was insane.
“Fair is fair, Red,” I said.
“Lachlan.” She wasn’t mad, but she tried to piece together a puzzle she wouldn’t understand. “He’s your son? But you would have been…”
“I was sixteen when I got my high school girlfriend pregnant.”
“I had…no idea. Does Sebastian—”
“No one knows. Only my mom and my ex’s parents.”
That surprised her more. “Are you going to tell him?”
“He’s five. His biggest concern in life is putting his shoes on the right feet. I’m not going to fuck with his head like that.”
“Will you…ever tell him?”
I hadn’t had to face that reality yet. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want to tell him?”