by Julie Miller
“I don’t know. She isn’t answering. And no one’s seen her here at the church, either.” Since Conor didn’t immediately recognize the second woman’s voice, he tilted his head to get a glimpse of pink tulle curving over a generous flare of hips. Tulle and satin gave way to pink lace clinging to some very nice breasts that rose and fell with a huffy sigh. But bangs of short brown hair with caramel highlights and a netted glittery pink feathered headpiece pinned above her ear obscured the woman’s face. “I’d like to know where my friend is, too. Do you think Isaac knows?”
“Don’t go out there and ask him,” Lisa chided. “He’s already at the altar with Joe.” All he could glimpse of her was the hem of her lacy white gown as she paced beyond his line of sight. “I don’t care if she’s leaving me in the lurch. I care about you being the first one down the aisle.”
“Relax, dear. Aunt Sandra handled the guest book just fine.” Conor smiled as a familiar face joined the woman in the pink bridesmaid dress. Lisa’s petite mother and his own mom’s best friend, Leslie Karr. “Please, sweetie. It’s time. We can’t start the ceremony without you.”
Sweetie meant one of Lisa’s sisters. And since her older sister was as tall as Lisa, that meant the frilly pink bombshell was her younger sister, Laura. Um, bombshell? Conor remembered braces and blue jeans and tennis shoes. He never would have ogled Laura the way he’d been assessing her figure a few seconds earlier, and, in fact, would have gone all big brother on any guy who did let his eyes linger on her curves for that long. She was just a kid. Well, the Laura he knew had been like a kid sister to him.
But the attitude was familiar.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” Laura protested. “You told me to find Chloe, and now I’m concerned because I can’t.”
A pregnant belly draped with more pink satin and tulle moved into the picture, blocking his view of Laura and her mother. Linda Karr-Colfax moaned and rubbed at the small of her back. A similar clip of feathers dangled from her upswept hair. “Mom? Ty was playing with my hair. Is this thing still in okay?”
“I thought we checked everything before leaving the dressing room,” Lisa scolded, while her mother secured the gaudy thing in Linda’s hair. “And do not have your baby today.”
Linda chuckled at her middle sister’s worry. “Take a deep breath, Lisa. They’re Braxton Hicks contractions. I’ve had them with all three babies. And neither of the boys came early.” She muttered something slightly less reassuring when a little boy in a black tuxedo somersaulted into the picture. Linda’s attorney husband followed with a sleeping toddler on his shoulder and pulled the boy to his feet. Linda brushed the dust off the tiny tux’s shoulders. “You only have to wear this for a little while, Timmy. Just until we take the pictures after the wedding. Where is your pillow with the rings tied to it?”
“Has he lost it?” Lisa’s long dress swirled into the tableau, but again his anticipation at seeing the beauty he’d loved was thwarted by the angle of the doorway.
Laura knelt in front of her nephew to hand him the embroidered white pillow. “Not lost. Here.” The little boy chortled with delight. Now that he had a clear view of that part of the lobby, Conor saw that there was a toy truck tied to the pillow, too. “You hold tight to that, and you won’t lose that pillow again, will you.”
Appeasing the youngster in the face of all the tension happening out there made Conor smile, too. “Nice move, Squirt,” he murmured under his breath, automatically thinking of Laura by the nickname he’d given her growing up.
But her smile faded a split second before she looked down at her phone and pushed to her feet.
More than noticing that she’d snipped off her long pigtails for a short, angular cut that hugged her jawline and played up the waves in her highlighted hair, and had traded her braces for a sweet, mischievous smile, he registered the frown lines that deepened beside her green-gold eyes. Baby Sister was really worried about something.
She texted something in response to the message she’d received.
“Laura! Phone!” Lisa pleaded.
“Sorry.” Laura turned it off and slid it beneath the lace of her gown to tuck it inside the sweetheart neckline.
“Seriously? You’ll ruin the look of the dress with that thing sticking out of your cleavage.”
“Like I don’t look like a piece of cotton candy, anyway.”
“Mother!”
Leslie Karr had handled bigger spats than this with her patient tone and knowing smile. “Laura, sweetie, let me put your phone in my purse.” With another lift of her bare shoulders, Laura did as her mother asked. After tucking the phone into her clutch purse, Leslie cupped her youngest daughter’s cheek. “You look beautiful today.”
Then Leslie turned, gently touching Linda’s belly as she smiled up at her oldest daughter. “You look beautiful.”
When she reached for Lisa, stepping out of Conor’s line of sight to hug her middle daughter, his breath hitched with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety at the thought of glimpsing Lisa again. But unless he leaned out into the aisle, making his presence more than obvious, he’d have to wait like every other guest to put eyes on the bride.
“Sweetie, you look beautiful. Joe is the luckiest of men. Take a deep breath.” Conor had always admired how Leslie had kept her three daughters in line. Such different personalities. Different activities all through school. Different emotional and parental needs. A little diplomacy, a little bargaining, a little bit of cajoling. But then she barked an order, and all three women snapped to attention, falling into line behind the young ring bearer. “Now. Everyone smile. Ron? Take your place. Here we go.”
Conor turned away from the scene in the lobby and finally found a reason to chuckle. Leslie Karr had a little bit of five-star general in her, too. He recognized that tone from his own mother’s bag of tricks when it came to raising him. His mom and Leslie had been such close friends—they’d probably traded parenting secrets.
Leslie walked down the aisle on the arm of an usher, followed by Tim Colfax and his son, the ring-bearer making vroom-vroom sounds as he carried the pillow by the truck.
Then he saw Laura. The moment she stepped into the sanctuary, their eyes met. Her mouth rounded with a startled O of surprise and he winked. The blush on her cheeks deepened to a rosy hue and her megawatt smile lit up the church. Yeah. The tomboy of the family had sure grown up. She made cute work on her compact, curvy frame. She fluttered her fingers in a friendly wave before hurrying over.
“Hi.” Those same fingers curled around his neck and she leaned in to kiss his cheek. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Hey, Squirt.”
Just as quickly as she’d kissed his cheek, she stepped away and fell back into line. She made a face and tapped her cheek, indicating he check his own face, before heading slowly toward the altar again.
Conor dutifully pulled out his handkerchief and wiped at the mark she’d left, leaving a smear of rosy pink lipstick on the white cotton. He was glad someone here could elicit a genuine smile from him. He folded the handkerchief and returned it to his pocket, letting his gaze follow Laura down the aisle.
Her cotton candy dress swirled around her calves, drawing his eyes down to slim ankles and strappy high-heels she wouldn’t have been caught dead in back when she’d been in middle school, hitching a ride with him to school activities before she could drive. Conor leaned back in the pew to do a little bit of math. Those memories had been from a decade ago. Laura had to be about twenty-five now, five years younger than him. She’d been at college when his breakup with Lisa had happened, and he’d moved away. He recalled now that she’d sent flowers and a heartfelt condolence letter to his mother’s funeral, but she hadn’t attended because something with work had kept her out of town. He’d have remembered the swing of those hips and that wire-free smile if he’d seen Laura recently. All grown up. Sharing little resemblance to her taller, willowy
sisters beyond the changeable hazel color of her eyes.
He traded a smile with Linda when she entered the church. He pointed to her belly and whispered congratulations. Then the music changed and everyone in the congregation stood.
Conor buttoned his jacket and held his breath, waiting for that gut-check of recognition when he saw Lisa on the arm of her father. They paused for a moment at the back of the church. She was an elegant vision of sparkles and lace in her figure-hugging white gown. Yes, she was beautiful. But seeing her gaze seeking out Joe at the front of the church, her taut expression relaxing into a genuine smile, did more to bring closure to their relationship than her returning his ring ever had.
Hell. She didn’t love him. Not anymore. Certainly not the way he’d loved her.
He must have been scowling at the thought because when their gazes finally met, Lisa hesitated. She mouthed, “Are you okay? We’ll talk later.”
She was that worried about him? He wasn’t so hard up that he wanted a woman to settle for him just so he wouldn’t be alone in the world. If Lisa wanted Joe, she should be with Joe. He was man enough to accept that. Conor smiled before he doffed her a two-fingered salute and waved her on down the aisle to the man she loved.
And then she walked away from him. Again.
Where was the knife to the heart he’d been expecting? The fires of jealousy burning through his veins? He’d been so certain he needed to come here to save his pride, to prove to everyone in his old life he could be happy and successful without their interference, that the confusion he felt now was a little unnerving. As the guests sat and the ceremony started, Conor admitted he was melancholy that their long history had been tossed aside, his planned future altered.
But he wasn’t angry.
His mother’s illness and truly accepting that he and Lisa were never going to be left him feeling...empty.
Great. Understanding was a humbling thing. He hadn’t needed to prove anything to anybody but himself by coming here today.
But now that he’d admitted the truth, skipping out the back of the church was hardly an option, unless he wanted to start some real gossip or face more heartfelt letters of concern for his well-being. Just like a stakeout assignment, he was here for the duration of the ceremony and reception.
But he had a bad feeling that today was going to be a lot longer and more stressful than any stakeout.
* * *
“ARE YOU TALLER?” Conor smiled at the warm greeting and wound his long arms around tiny Leslie Karr, treasuring the maternal hug at his waist. “Conor Wildman, I think you’re taller. I’m not shrinking, am I?” Keeping one arm linked around his waist, Leslie turned to her husband beside her in the reception line. “Ron, am I shrinking?”
“No, dear. You’re as petite and perfect as always.” Ron Karr seemed to be taking the demands of the day in his familiarly patient stride. Probably a life skill learned from raising three daughters. He extended his hand. “I’m glad you could make it, Conor. It’s good to see you again, under happier circumstances.”
“Yes, sir.” Conor shook hands with the father of the bride. “Congratulations, Ron. How are you two holding up today?”
“Fine.” His forehead wrinkled with concern. “We should be asking you that question, though.”
Leslie patted Conor’s stomach, tsk-tsking between her teeth. “You’re thinner, though. Are you eating well? Taking care of yourself?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“He’s fit, Les, not skinny.” Ron patted the cummerbund of his tuxedo. “I’m the one you need to be fattening up.” At six feet, Ron Karr towered over his wife, but he still had to look up to meet Conor’s gaze. “She’s got me on some crazy diet where I eat weeds and straw five nights a week. She hasn’t baked me a pie in six months. Trust me, once it’s cut, I am diving into that wedding cake.”
“Oh, stop,” Leslie chided over the men’s laughter. “The doctor said we both needed to cut down on sugar and red meat.” She tilted her chin back up to Conor. “I promised your mother I’d keep an eye on you. Of course, I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that with you being a million miles away.”
Conor grinned at the exaggeration. “It’s only eleven hundred miles.”
Leslie frowned. “Is it really that far?”
“A couple days’ drive. Or one really long one.”
“You must be exhausted.”
He hugged her shoulders, silently reassuring her that he’d passed his KCPD physical with flying colors, and that she didn’t need to honor the mom code of perennial worry. Not on his behalf. “I got in yesterday. I’m staying at Mom’s house. There are still a few things to go through there, some repairs I need to line up before I put her house on the market.”
Leslie’s sigh was audible. “You’re selling Marie’s house? You’re not coming back? Ever?”
Come back to what? Constant reminders of all he had lost here in Arlington? His old boss was here. Lisa. Memories of his mother. Even the ancient scars from his father. Still, Leslie’s stricken expression reminded him of those last days with his mother in the hospital. One of Marie Wildman’s regrets was that she’d never see her grandchildren.
“Conor, you will have children? You’ll have a family?”
He’d gently squeezed her frail hand and promised, telling her whatever she needed to hear to ease her worries and keep any last bit of strength she had for herself. Back then he’d been gutted by Lisa’s rejection. All he had left was the precious life slipping away in front of him. “I will, Mom. I promise. One day, I will.”
“Don’t wait forever.” Marie’s hand had trembled in his. “Life isn’t always what you expect it to be. It’s been just you and me for a long time. And now I’m leaving you all alone. I wish I could be at your wedding. I wish I could see my grandchildren...”
“Mom—”
“I don’t regret a moment. I’ve been happy. I’ve lived a wonderful, fulfilling life. I want the same for you.” Even though her energy was flagging, there was a smile on her gaunt face. “I’ve always been so proud of you. My brave son risking his life for others. I don’t want you to mourn me forever. You live your life. Don’t you dare settle for anything. Or anyone. Lisa never understood how deeply you feel things—I don’t think you even know.” She reached up to stroke his cheek. “But I do. The right woman is out there for you. I want you to love and be loved the way the way your father and I once...” Her voice faded away. He supposed heartache like hers never completely went away. “Find your happiness, son. Hold tight to it with both hands.”
Life isn’t always what you expect it to be...
Conor roused himself from his thoughts and smiled down at the woman who had always been like a favorite aunt to him. “I don’t know my future plans yet, Leslie. For right now, though, they’re in Kansas City.”
Ron seemed to sense the dark turn of Conor’s thoughts and pulled his wife back to his side. “Les, dear, we’re holding up the line. The rest of our guests are waiting.” He shook Conor’s hand again. “Come by the house anytime. There’s still a gate in the fence connecting our backyards. The walkway is a little snow-packed this time of year, but it’s still there.”
“Thanks. I’ll stop by before I leave town.”
Still raw from that trip down memory lane, Conor wasn’t prepared for Lisa stepping out of line to hug him. For a moment, he stood there in shock. Another second gave him time to remember the way her tall frame fit against his body, like two pieces of a puzzle joining together. A third, saner moment reminded him to pat her back instead of squeezing her tightly, and then push her away. She wasn’t his to hold anymore.
“Congratulations, kiddo. You’re a beautiful bride. But then, I never had any doubt you would be.”
“Con—”
“Take the compliment.” He cut her off before she could turn his words into any kind of apology.
“Thank you.”
Dismissing Lisa to move on down the reception line, he reached out to take Joe’s hand and pulled his friend in for a back-slapping bro hug. “Congratulations, man. You dress up pretty good for a numbers geek.”
Joe grinned. “I can be taught.”
But his intent to move past the bride and groom to greet Joe’s parents was thwarted by the tug of Lisa’s hand on his. “Are you happy, Con? Please be happy.”
“Why is everyone so worried about my happiness?” he joked. “This is your day. We’re here to celebrate you two.”
Lisa’s gaze darted to Joe, then back up to Conor. “We never meant for our engagement to hurt you. But I know it did. Losing your mom and then running away...” Her grip on his fingers tightened. “We’ve been so worried. You don’t call. You don’t write. Don’t throw away your life here because of us.”
Conor pulled his hand from hers. He schooled the irritation out of his tone. “Guess what? I didn’t run away from anything. I went where the job took me. Remember? The job I’m obsessed with?” He immediately bit down on that snap of sarcasm and apologized. He was over this. He was over her. But being back in Arlington was stirring up painful memories. “You should be thinking about your honeymoon, not me. If you two aren’t happy together the rest of your lives, I’m gonna come back and kick both your butts.”
“No worries, man,” Joe assured him, looking relieved to hear the teasing.
“Thank you. You’re just so important to both of us.” Lisa’s next hug was a little too long and a little too uncomfortable. When he heard the telltale sniffle against his lapel, he leaned back, automatically pulling his handkerchief out of his pocket for her.
But Joe had pulled one out, too. He tucked his into Lisa’s hand, kissed her cheek and suggested she take a break to powder her nose.