Kissing.
Dang. I’m kissing Killian again. I pull away from him. “Friends don’t kiss like that,” I whisper.
“Maybe they should start,” he tells me.
I suck in a breath and grip the strap on my bag. “Killian.” I close my eyes. “You can’t just go around kissing me like that whenever you want to. I’m not that kind of girl.”
“I never said you were. Maybe I don’t…” He gets quiet, and I wait for him to finish his sentence. My phone starts ringing. “You should get that.” He jerks the door open and stomps out.
I let out a breath and pull my phone out. Glancing at the screen I see Woodrow’s name flashing. I look for Killian as I debate answering but he’s gone. His hot and cold is really getting old fast.
I slide my finger across the screen. “Hey.”
“What are you up to?”
“I’m on my way back to my room. I just got finished studying at the library. What’s up?”
“I was about to grab some dinner and thought you might want to join me.”
I look around again for Killian and don’t see him. Figures.
“Liri? You there?”
“Yeah, I’m here.” My stomach rumbles. “What’d you have in mind?”
“Do you like Italian? I know a place.”
“Sure. I only need to run by my room first to change.”
“Okay I’ll come by in twenty.”
“See you then.” I end the call and tuck my phone back in my bag. When I leave the library, Killian is waiting by the door smoking a cigarette. I feel awkward now and unsure of what to say to him.
“Who called you?” he questions.
“Um…none of your business. Are you this nosy with all your friends?”
“Forget it,” he huffs and takes another drag off his cigarette.
“Forgotten.” I shake my head and step around him. I’m not doing this back and forth thing he seems to get off on. I pick up my pace taking longer steps. I do need to change if I am going to dinner with Woodrow.
“Liri, wait.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me to him. I spin around to face him. He’s dropped his cigarette now and is chewing another piece of grape bubblegum. The smell reminds me of his kiss.
“What, Killian?” I snap at him not exactly meaning to sound harsh, but he is wearing me out.
“You shouldn’t walk alone on campus at night.”
I jerk my keychain out of my bag. “I have pepper spray.” I hold it up at him and he covers my hand with his.
“Watch where you point that thing.” He laughs. “Do you even know how to use it?”
“I wasn’t going to spray you…not yet anyway,” I tease.
“I’ll take that as a warning.”
We start moving toward my dorm, and he takes my hand again. I have to go and ruin the moment and make it ten kinds of awkward by looking down at the way his hand wraps around mine and swallows it. He is a lot taller than me too. I’m only 5’3 with shoes on.
Killian drops my hand. “Sorry. I guess friends don’t hold hands either,” his voice comes out in a mocking tone.
“You are so confusing.” I can’t read him at all. I want to think that maybe he likes me but then he closes himself off to me and gets all moody.
His phone rings and he digs it out of his back pocket. He looks at the screen and an irritated expression crosses his face.
“Do you need to get that?”
He shakes his head then stares straight ahead and clenches his phone in his hand so hard I am afraid he is going to break it. “Your boyfriend’s here,” he growls.
I follow his gaze and see Woodrow standing by the front of my dorm. “He’s not my boyfriend. Isn’t he your friend? We’re grabbing dinner, and maybe I would invite you if I thought you were serious about being my friend too.”
“I have somewhere else to be. Enjoy your date.”
“It’s not…you know what, Killian, I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
I don’t wait for him to say something rude back to me. I square my shoulders and meet up with Woodrow.
“Are you early or am I late?”
He smiles. “Right on time.”
“Do I have time to change?”
“Only if you want to but you look fine.”
“Are you sure I’m not underdressed?”
“You’re perfect.” His eyes flit up and down my body. “I’m parked across the street.”
“Okay. Is it just the two of us then?”
“No. We’re meeting up with Ben and some other people I think you’ll like.”
“Cool.” I was nervous for a second that he might think this is a date, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I follow him across the street to the parking lot where I keep my car parked. Confusion colors me when he stops at a street bike. My heart starts racing as I finger the locket around my neck.
“You okay? You ever ridden on a motorcycle before?” My voice is caught in my throat. If I speak, I’m afraid I will cry. I can only move my head back and forth in response. “I borrowed a helmet for you?” He holds it out and my hands shake at the thought of touching it.
A motorcycle ruined my father’s life. I can’t do it. I can’t simply hop on this guy’s motorcycle. Thoughts of the man I never got to know flash before me. Images of his totaled motorcycle and him laying helpless in a hospital bed play on a loop.
“Hey. You don’t look good.” Woodrow stares at me waiting for a response. I know he probably thinks I’m a total freak.
“I—” my voice comes out in a squeak. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” I spin away from him before my tears fall and blindly rush across the street as a car horn blows at me. I make it to my building and disappear into the stairwell hoping that Woodrow hasn’t followed me.
I feel like I can’t breathe as I fall to the bottom step and hang my head between my knees.
My phone is ringing, but I can’t catch my breath enough to answer it.
I don’t even know why I reacted the way that I did. My phone keeps ringing, and my father’s blue eyes that match my own keep taking hold of my thoughts along with the pictures I saw of his accident. Squeezing my eyes shut, I grab the locket and pull until the chain breaks. I look down at my palm then I sling the locket toward the door right when it opens and my jewelry hits Killian.
I don’t want him to see me like this.
I stare at my shoes and try to regain control of my breathing. I see him bending to pick up my locket. He doesn’t say anything to me. He slips the broken necklace into his pocket and sits down next to me.
His arm goes around me, and I lean into his chest finding comfort in the scent of his cologne.
“I nearly ran over you,” he murmurs into my hair. “Did Woodrow do or say something to you?”
“No,” I breathe the word out and suck more air back into my lungs. “I’m having a bit of a panic attack, I guess. How did you find me?”
“I could hear your phone ringing.”
“You were calling me?”
“No, that was probably Woodrow since you pulled a Houdini on him. I should probably go move my car before it gets towed. I left it in the street and ran after you.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” I admit with a sniffle.
“Do you want to get out of here?”
“I thought you had plans.”
“I lied.” He smirks and pulls me up to my feet.
Chapter 10
Killian
When I saw a blur dart passed my car, I slammed on the brakes and laid on the horn. I nearly ran her over. Liri. I looked to my right and saw Woodrow staring after her looking like he didn’t know whether to run after her or stick his thumb in his ass.
I didn’t know what he had done to her but something inside me made me jump out of my car in the middle of the fucking street and go after her. I knew she ran into the dorms, but the elevator was open, and people were stepping off it not in it. I could hear her cellphone ringing in the stairwell. When I opened that door a
nd her necklace hit me, I thought I was going to have to kill Woodrow, but she swore that he didn’t do anything to make her upset.
I didn’t want to pressure her to talk when she was having a full-blown panic attack, and I was certain that if my car hadn’t been stolen yet it would be getting towed any minute. I didn’t expect she’d actually take me up on my offer to leave but she did. Now we’re driving in my car, and I don’t know where to take her.
I’m not taking her back to my room at the frat house and parading her in front of my asshole friends while she is upset. It’s times like these I wish I had my own apartment.
It’s dark and late. She at least seems to have stopped crying. I know no one is racing tonight so I drive her to Butler Road and park in the clearing. “Come on,” I tell her and exit the car. I grab a blanket from the trunk and lay it on the ground in front of my car. The moon is full and bright providing us enough light.
“What are we doing here?” She eyes the blanket and gives me a skeptical look. I can’t say that I blame her. I wouldn’t trust me either if I were her. She has no reason to trust me. I take my jacket off and roll it up to lay my head on.
“Vegging out,” I answer her and lay down on the blanket with my hands behind my head staring up at the moon. “Sometimes when I need to get away from everything, I drive out here and just stare at moon or the stars whichever is more visible.” I smile to myself enjoying the absolute quiet that surrounds us. The only thing to be heard for miles is the sounds of nature.
Reluctantly, Liri kicks off her shoes and comes to lay next to me. I know the ground is hard, and she doesn’t have anything to support her head. I sit up partially to slide an arm underneath her back and pull her to me to rest her head on my chest. I settle back into my spot and we lay underneath the moon until she is ready to tell me what sent her running into oncoming traffic.
Mindlessly, I strum my fingers through her dark mane. The tendrils feel like silk as they slip between my fingers. “That feels nice,” she says lazily.
“Am I putting you to sleep?” I cock my head sideways to look at her. Liri’s eyes are closed, and she has this dreamy smile on her face. One of contentment.
“Almost.” She sighs then sits up.
I lean up on my elbows and wait for her to say something.
“I guess you are wondering why I was acting like a crazy person earlier.” She fidgets, twisting her fingers together. “My parents split when I was one years old. I don’t remember my father, but when I was three, he got wasted and totaled his motorcycle. He should have died but he didn’t. Long story short he suffered severe brain trauma, and it left him with the mindset of a kid. When I was going to leave with Woodrow, I wasn’t expecting a motorcycle and it triggered something inside me and I panicked. All I could think about was the accident that ruined my birth father’s life. It sounds silly now that I say it aloud.”
She turns away like she is embarrassed.
“That’s really tragic and fucked up sounding.”
“I know I overreacted, and Woodrow probably thinks I’m a total fruitcake.”
“Do you care what he thinks?”
“I freaked out on the guy and ran away. I must have looked stupid.”
“You looked like someone in pain, Liri.”
I want to be the one to comfort her and take that pain away not him. Though neither of us are worthy of her.
“Thanks for getting me away from there. I didn’t want to bother Hayley, and I know she is biased toward my father because he is her uncle, but sometimes I think I hate him for being careless and missing out on my life. I shouldn’t feel that way because my stepfather is an amazing man, and he’d do anything for me. She wants me to go see him. I was two the last time I saw him. I don’t know him and with his brain injury I doubt he would even know who I am.”
“Do you want to go see him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I know my mom would flip out if I even mention it to her. Even talking about him puts her in a raw mood so I never bring him up. I don’t know why I am telling you all this.”
“Because you needed to tell someone who wouldn’t judge you either way,” I tell her and brush her wispy dark tendrils back from her face so I can see her.
“I’m sorry if I ruined your night.” Her brows furrow and she looks back at me. “Why did you lie about having plans?”
“It’s not important.” I lean over and brush my lips against hers to keep her from asking more questions. Our mouths fuse together, and I can taste the saltiness of her tears. I drink her in, and she embeds herself in every fiber of my existence. Liri does something to me that I can’t explain. I can’t think straight when I’m with her and when I’m not she is all I can think about. I make up excuses to see her—to be near her.
She pulls back and licks her lips. “Do you kiss all your friends like that?”
“Do you always ask so many questions?”
“Yes,” she says with a laugh. “I don’t get you at all.” She lets out a breath and lays her head back on my chest, and I stay quiet, going back to running my fingers through her hair. “Are you going to answer my question?”
“Nope.”
Eventually her breathing evens out and she has drifted to sleep. I wish sleep would claim me, but I can’t rest. Not with her in my arms. But still, I lay back and close my eyes. I bury my nose in her hair. It smells like coconuts. Then I start thinking about the beach and Liri in a bikini poolside. Different images of her—of us together dance in my head. How soft her lips are. The way she looks at me like she sees me. Her stupid nerdy leggings that hug her ass perfectly. Just her. I lay here and think about kissing her again.
**
Rain drops pelting down startles me awake. I rub my eyes and let out a yawn. Liri is curled into me. She’s freezing. Thunder booms sounding too close. I jostle her awake before the rain starts to fall heavily, but neither of us get up in time to beat the downpour. “Oh my God!” She squeals and looks up at the moon.
I don’t know how long we were asleep for, but it’s still pitch black out.
“Come on,” I sling my jacket over her shoulders and pick up her shoes. We run to the car both of us soaked through. I start up the car and turn the heat on low.
“I don’t even remember falling asleep,” she says as a shiver sends a tremble through her body. Her wet hair clings to her face and her blue eye are glowing with happiness. I brush the wet strands of hair from her face and lean over the console to taste her lips once more. Out here away from the world we make sense. We fit. I’m not ready to give her up yet.
Her mouth opens to me and our tongues connect like old friends reuniting. I keep telling myself she’s nothing special, but I feel her in my bones. Liri is a force I’m not ready for. Kissing her is dangerous. It makes me crave things I know I will never have. Things I could never give her, but I’m selfish and kiss her deeper and harder.
My fingers dig into her shoulder, grasping the thin strap of her one-piece ensemble. I push it down and see she’s not wearing a bra. A growl escapes me as her sweet breath fans over my lips.
Liri is panting and her eyes are dancing wild as she stares at me. We share a smile, and I kiss her again.
Chapter 11
Liri
Killian pulls away from me and grips the steering wheel. “Did I do something wrong?”
“You make me crazy; you know that?” He says it more as a statement than a question, so I don’t reply. “It’s late.” He puts the car in gear, and we fishtail as he pulls out a little too quickly. I slip my shoes back on and lay my head against the window. I’m exhausted and not in the mood for him to pull his crap on me. The ride back to campus he is back to being broody and mean. He hasn’t spoken one word to me and when he pulls up at the dorms, he doesn’t bother to tell me bye. I drop his jacket in the seat and close the door after grabbing my bag. My phone is dead when I pull it out of my bag along with my keys. My clothes are sticking to me, and I want to fall into my bed and sleep for a week. Col
lege and socializing is exhausting. When I get to my floor, I find Woodrow sleeping outside of my door. What the hell?
The jingling of my keys rattling startles him.
He jumps up when he sees me. “Finally. I’ve been looking for you all night.”
“I’m sorry. My phone died. I needed to clear my head.”
“Hayley explained to me about your father and his accident. I’m sorry, Liri, I didn’t know.”
“You couldn’t have.” I shrug. “I’m sorry if I freaked you or worried you. I’m just really tired. Can we talk tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Okay.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. “Raincheck on dinner? I’ll drive my truck.”
“Sure.” I offer him a weak smile, unlock the door, and close it behind me. What is with these boys? I shake my head as thoughts of Killian and kissing him float around me. I blink a few times and lay my bag on my desk then kick off my shoes. Hayley and Liam are asleep in her bed, so I try to be quiet when I go into the bathroom and wait until I close the door before I turn the light on. I splash some water on my face and brush my teeth. I don’t even bother trying to comb through my wet tangled hair. I’m starving but too tired and lazy to grab a yogurt from the mini-fridge. I flip off the bathroom light and crawl into my bed and fall into a deep sleep with visions of crashed motorcycles, dark eyes, and raindrops in my head.
**
“Fuck,” I hear Liam rasp, and I blink my eyes. “I’m never drinking again.”
“Until tonight” Hayley laughs.
“Stop talking so loud. My head is splitting apart,” he moans and groans.
“Shh, you’ll wake Liri.”
“Liri’s already awake,” I grumble and stretch. I roll away from the wall and see them staring at me. “What?”
“Nothing,” they both mutter and look away quickly.
“You’re being weird.” I scoot off the bed and go to the closet. “Do you guys need the bathroom before I jump in the shower.”
The Story of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 1) Page 6