“You’re drunk and need a target.”
I start to leave him to it when Woodrow shows his face the kitchen. Liam charges him. They fall into the fridge. I should pull Liam off him, but they need to work this shit out between the two of them.
Woodrow laughs in Liam’s face. “She was a real sweet piece of ass. You can’t blame me for trying to tap it again.”
Liam punches him in the gut. “Shut your fucking mouth.”
“Don’t be mad, man. It’s not personal. I would have popped Liri’s cherry if Killian hadn’t gotten in the way. She let you hit it yet? Bet her pussy is good and tight.”
All I see is a red haze.
“You’re a dead man,” I seethe. I go after him and ram my fist in his ribs hoping I crack every single fucking one.
“What the hell?” Ben joins the scene and hooks his arms under my armpits, jerking me away as I kick, fight, and spit to get back at Woodrow.
“You want a piece of me too?” Woodrow spits blood out on the linoleum floor.
“That depends. What’d you do?” Ben questions, keeping a hold of me.
“Fucked Hayley.” He grins with blood-stained teeth.
“Again?”
“Was I the only person in this fucking house who didn’t know?” Liam rubs his temples.
Porter is back from getting Jackie out of our faces. He gets Woodrow away from Liam and me while swearing he didn’t see Liri or Hayley anywhere on campus. Said that Jackie is a damn mess. I might be inclined to feel sorry for her if she wasn’t a crazy bitch intent on ruining my life. She’s fucking dead to me. I flex my busted knuckles and take a half bag of frozen pizza rolls from the freezer to ice them.
I grab the bottle of liquor Liam was downing and chug.
**
Later Liam and I are sitting out by the firepit shooting the shit and drinking. What else have we got to do? “Did you mean what you said about wanting to get an apartment?”
“Don’t fucking matter now. I don’t have Hayley. I really fucked up with her earlier. I couldn’t even look at her. I liked knowing that the rest of these assholes hadn’t touched her and now that was just a lie.”
“Fuck this house and these assholes. You and me. We’ll get us a damn bachelor pad.” Between the two of us we can afford something that won’t be a complete shithole. I light up a cigarette. Liri’s voice nags in the back of my mind. “Smoking is unattractive.” I shake my head and take another drag.
She’s not here.
She walked away.
Fuck her.
I don’t need her.
I’m Killian Hendrix.
I don’t need anyone.
Yes I do.
I need her.
I need Liri more than the air that I breathe.
Chapter 26
Liri
“I’m happy you girls decided to come early. Are you hungry? You must be starving away at school with no one to feed you a good home-cooked meal that will stick to your ribs. Are you eating enough?”
“Mom. Chill.” Hayley giggles. “We had fast food on the way here.”
“Well let me look at you.” Sandy approaches me and looks me up and down. “Hmm,” she murmurs. “You resemble your mother, but I can see touches of James in you. You have his eyes.” The woman bursts into tears and pulls me in for the tightest hug I have ever received in my life. She has larger than life blonde curly hair that looks straight out of the 1980s. But other than that, she looks like an older version of Hayley with wider hips and bigger boobs.
“Okay. Can’t breathe,” I croak and push on her shoulders. She doesn’t stop hugging me though.
“You don’t know how happy I am to finally see you. I’ve not laid eyes on you since you were seven. You’re all grown up now.” Finally, I can breathe once she lets go of the chokehold she had on my neck. “I’m sure you girls are tired and want to turn in. Tomorrow you are coming downstairs to my salon and I am treating you both to day of pampering. The guest room is made up for Liri and Hayley, you can take the couch or sleep with me like you did until you were ten.” She smiles.
I want to ask Hayley why she doesn’t have her own bedroom here but then I remember her parents were divorced a few years ago and she lived with her dad. He sold his house this past summer and took a new job in Phoenix. He wanted her to transfer to a University there, but she didn’t want to leave Liam.
I wonder if she regrets that decision now that they have broken up. Before we got here, she made me swear not to mention the breakup with Liam. I promised her I would stay quiet as long as she doesn’t bring up Killian or Jackie. The thought of him has pain shooting through my chest.
I should have known things with him were too good to be true. Everyone tried to warn me including Hayley. But I was blind, and maybe I still am because I miss him already and wish I hadn’t told Hayley to wipe all traces of him from my phone.
We’re too different and we so don’t want the same things. I want to be with someone who I can see as my best friend as well as my lover. I want what my mother has with Theo. The fairytale. And sure, I didn’t expect to find it straight away, but the connection between us was strong. Maybe it is hormones and lust.
But it feels much deeper than a physical attraction. Not that I have other relationships to compare to outside of my talking to Hunter for a week. Maybe I should forget Killian and give things with Hunter a real shot. To be fair I didn’t give him a chance. I was preoccupied with denying my feelings for Killian I didn’t allow myself to truly test the waters there. I gave him one date.
My stomach cramps and I want to cry. I feel too damn emotional. When I go to the bathroom I realize why. My period is here. Good news is I will get to start my birth control. Not that I am going to be needing it anytime soon. I thought Killian would be the one, but I don’t want to be another meaningless night on his calendar. I want to give myself to someone who doesn’t want anyone but me. When I come out of the bathroom Hayley is laying on my bed.
“I’m weak. I miss him, Liri.”
I take up the spot next to her. “There’s no rules that says you can’t talk to him. Call him. If he answers, then you talk to him. If he doesn’t then you give him a few days to return your call, but if he doesn’t then you have to forget him and move forward.”
“I can’t call him. Not tonight. He’s still pissed, and my emotions are so freaking raw. Every nerve in my body feels frayed.”
“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t insisted on forcing you to confront him, Killian wouldn’t have opened his mouth.”
“It’s not your fault. This is on me. I’m the one who was dishonest. I have to be the one to fix it. I don’t know how to do that. The hurt on his face. It split me in two. I’ve never had him look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like he hated me. What if I lose him forever? I love him so much, Liri.”
“Liam just needs time. He knows you love him.”
“What if love isn’t enough? It wasn’t for your mom and James or my parents. What if we are all doomed to fail in love? Maybe our family is cursed.”
“You don’t believe that. You need to sleep and regroup. Tomorrow is another day.”
“You’re right.” She nods and wipes at her eyes. “Do you mind if I hide out in here a little longer? I don’t want Mom to know I’ve been crying.”
“Totally. It’s fine. I’m going to roll right over and fall asleep.” Only I don’t. I lay awake long after Hayley has gone to the living room and think about Killian. Every encounter plays through my mind. The first time we locked eyes. I saw the devil in his eyes, and I fell in love. I think I knew right then that there was going to be something between us. He called to me. Of course he is handsome and charming, but it’s more than that. We have chemistry. That’s not something he can fake no matter how badly he wants in my pants.
He could have tried to sleep with me, but he didn’t. He’s the one who is always cooling things down when I get carried away and push for more. When I think about him with
Jackie though it makes my heart crack wide open. It’s completely crazy, but I love him, and I hate him for making me feel torn up inside. For splitting up Hayley and Liam for good.
Why does everything have to be complicated?
Chapter 27
Liri
“Liri, come on back. I’ll be doing your hair, and Rebecca is taking care of Hayley. Do you trust me?” Her question sends pain shooting through my heart. It reminds me of Kilian. Then again everything does.
“Sure, I don’t want to lose any of the length.”
My Aunt Sandy smiles at me through the mirror as she raises my chair. She has the same big boobs and blonde hair as Hayley only bigger. My eyes go big when I see her take out a pair of scissors.
“Don’t worry. I’m only going to get rid of your split ends and maybe give you some layers to give your hair some volume. You have hair like your father. I haven’t told him about your visit yet. I thought we could stop off and get some of his favorite foods and ease into the conversation that you are his daughter. How does that sound?”
“Perfect.” I try not to cry. Stupid period. Stupid hormones. I had wanted to invite Killian to come with me. I thought maybe it would be easier to go through with this whole thing if I had him next to me holding my hand. The thought feels so foolish now. I close my eyes and enjoy a day of being pampered while listening to all the local gossip.
Some chick named Amy is pregnant for the third time, but no one thinks the baby is her husband’s because he is nearly sixty and she is in her early thirties.
The Wheelers are getting a divorce after Monica caught Buddy with his pants around his ankles screwing the babysitter.
Some old school teacher passed away but no one liked her, and they all feel guilty for not sending any flowers.
Everyone in town is excited because a new Walmart is coming to the area.
The animal shelter is overcrowded and underfunded.
“Liri?” I open my eyes and find Susie smiling at me.
“Oh. Hi.”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon, but I’m glad I did. I need a favor. When you are done here could you stop by the bar and grill?”
“Um.” I bite my lip as my pulse races. What could Killian’s stepmother possibly want from me?
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Her big smile fades into a disappointed frown, and I feel bad.
“I’ll come.”
“Great.” She perks up again, and I watch as she pays for her shampoo and nail polish.
Once she has left Sandy starts talking. “How do you know Susie Hendrix?”
“I’m friends with her stepson.”
“Killian? That’s right.” She rolls her eyes. “He hangs around Liam. Hayley’s boyfriend.”
“Yup. That’s him.”
“That boy.” She shakes her head.
“What about him?”
“He’s been through a lot. Now I’m not one to gossip,” she says, and I have to fight my laughter. All she has done all day is talk about everyone in this town. “Well his dad, Conrad, was a big deal around here because he raced cars. He was pro. Anyway, Diane, that’s Killian’s mother, she got sick. Had breast cancer. Susie was her best friend and moved in to take care of her. Everyone thought Diane was going to pass away. She was so ill and frail. Poor thing. Then Killian well he thought his dad hung the moon. He was his hero. He’s the one who caught them having the affair and Diane took it so hard she tried to end her life. He is the one who found her after school.”
“Oh. My. God.” My heart bleeds for him.
“Well you didn’t hear any of this from me. Hayley always knew Killian through school, but they never ran in the same crowd.”
I don’t know what to think. How am I supposed to go see her to ask me for a favor knowing that she screwed over her best friend in the worst possible way during the hardest time in her life. I feel sick about the whole thing. No wonder Killian is fucked up. Though I do only have one side of the story. I’m conflicted. If I go would Killian be upset with me?
Probably.
But if I don’t go, I will be wondering what she wants forever.
“Do you hate your hair?” Hayley questions as we get in the car.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s different. I’m not used to having bangs, but I will get acquainted with having them”
“You look very mature with them.”
“Thanks.” I’m glad they are long enough to pin back out of my face. My hair grows fast. I don’t think I have had bangs since I was a toddler and it hits me. Sandy gave me bangs because she is hoping it will help James recognize me. I don’t know if I should be upset about it or not. Her intentions were good, but she should have asked me first.
“Mom gets a little crazy, but she means well.”
“I know she does. I’m starving.”
“The food here is great.”
“You um never told me that you grew up around Killian.”
“We went to the same school, but we never hung out or anything.” She shrugs.
“Was he a jerk back then too?”
“He was always getting into trouble. Fighting. Stealing cars. I was surprised when I bumped into him on campus. I figured he’d be in jail honestly.”
I stay quiet and we exit the car.
“So, Killian brought you here?”
“Yeah. He did.”
“He must really like you, Liri.”
“Maybe. I can’t think about him right now,” I lie. He is all I can think about no matter how hard I try not to.
It’s busier today than it was when I came the other night. It seems like that was so long ago now. It’s strange how quickly things can change. I pick a different table from the one I sat at with Killian. I smile to myself remembering us play fighting with the ice cream. We were in a good place. I wish I could go back to the moment and freeze time. I would live there forever.
“What can I get you?” The server this time is some guy in his early to mid-twenties. He’s like an older version of Killian.
“I’ll take buffalo wings with ranch dip,” Hayley orders.
“I want.” I scan down the menu. “A Hendrix burger. No pickle. Fries as the side.”
“Coming right up.”
After he walks off Hayley smirks at me.
“What?”
“That was Dillan, Killian’s older brother. He’s engaged and has two kids.”
“Oh. I didn’t know Killian had a brother.”
“They don’t talk. I guess when things went down Dillan forgave Susie because of her daughter. He’s going to marry her daughter, Noelle.”
“That’s heavy.”
“Yeah. Liam says Killian never talks about his family. He’s not close with his Mom either. Liam is basically all he has.”
“Gee make me feel even more like dirt!” I blow my straw paper at her.
We are halfway through our meal when Susie approaches our table. “Can I join you girls for a few minutes. I promise not to take up much of your time.”
“It’s cool. I need to powder my nose,” Hayley excuses herself and Susie takes her seat.
“I don’t know how much you know or what Killian has told you about me and his father but…”
I cut her off. “Killian hasn’t told me anything.”
“Well that makes things easier.” She gives me a weak smile. I want to tell her I know she is a husband thieving homewrecker, but I bite my tongue and remind myself I am here for Killian. “The reason I asked you here is Conrad is turning fifty next month and there’s going to be a party here. Nothing fancy, but I know it would mean a lot to him to have Killian stop by. He won’t come if we invite him, but maybe if you did it, he would say yes. When he brought you here that was the first time we have laid eyes on him in six months.”
“Um I don’t think…I’m not the right person to be mediating.”
“Well I had to try but promise me that you’ll think about it.”
“I will.”<
br />
She leaves the table and I feel sick to my stomach.
Killian’s father refused money for our meal and he told me that he hopes I won’t be a stranger. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’m not really with Killian. I’m not sure I ever was. No wonder Killian doesn’t date. He was surrounded by betrayal and shitty circumstances. He has no idea what a healthy relationship should be. Not that what we started was anything but toxic. I know we bring out the worst in each other. We’re bad at love but we fit.
My chest aches for him. I turn my phone over in my hands tempted to dial his number.
“Ugh!” Hayley comes into the guest room at her mom’s looking miffed.
“What’s wrong?”
“You know how I thought about calling Liam?”
“Yeah? Did you?”
“Big mistake. Huuuge,” she draws the word out. “A girl answered his phone, Liri.”
“Seriously. I will kill him. Does your mom have a shovel?”
“I’m too mad to even cry right now. I just want to punch something or someone.”
“Maybe he lost his phone, and someone found it.” I know I am grasping at straws, but I feel terrible about this situation.
“I doubt that. She had the nerve to ask who was calling.”
“Shut up.”
“Oh, I wish I were kidding.” She wrings her hands.
“What are you going to do?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing I can do.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I,” she whispers.
“You need some fun. What’s there to do around here on a Friday night?”
“There’s the drag strip.”
I scrunch my nose up. “What else?”
“That’s all there is.”
“Seriously,” I whine.
“Afraid so, but we could get all cute and strut our stuff.”
“Why not.” I smile.
Chapter 28
Killian
“Still nothing from Liri?” Liam asks as he rolls out from underneath my car.
“Nope. I don’t expect her to call me. She thinks that Jackie was pregnant with my kid. I don’t know how to make her listen to me outside of kidnapping her.”
The Story of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 1) Page 15