“I won’t tell your girlfriend.” She pouts and rubs her hand over my crotch. “I’ll just blow you.” Jackie drops to her knees and when she puts a hand to my zipper, I grab her wrist.
“I said no,” I growl and go back inside. I can hear Jackie laughing behind me like the stupid bitch that she is.
I don’t belong here anymore. I go back to my car and start it up. I need to go home and apologize to Liri. She was right though—I fuck up constantly and expect her to say okay and let me back in. It doesn’t mean I am ready to forgive my father but maybe I can try to see how things go.
I get halfway home when the blue lights start flashing behind me.
Fuck.
Chapter 42
Liri
I wake up with a stiff neck and look around. I’m still in the hallway siting up against the door. Great. Killian isn’t back, and I have no idea where he is. I’m tired, hungry, and I need to pee. I try the doorknob even though I don’t expect it to open. It doesn’t. I can hear the birds starting to chirp outside which means it is now morning and Killian never came home last night. I don’t know what to do. If my car is unlocked, I have a spare key in my glovebox. Not the best place for it but it’s whatever at the moment.
I get down to the lobby when Killian slumps through the door. He looks terrible but his hand is stitched up at least. At first, he doesn’t see me but then when he does, he hangs his head back down.
“Do you have your door key?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Oh, I don’t know because I got locked out last night when I went to take the trash out, and I slept in the hallway propped up against our door all night. Where were you?”
“I was in jail,” he tells me softly.
“What the hell, Killian. I was worried about you.” I shove at his chest and his arms go around me.
“I’m sorry. I fucked up.” He kisses the top of my hair, and I pull away from him because I am still angry with him.
“Just let me in the apartment. I’m tired and hungry.” He nods and we get into the elevator together. “You smell like an ashtray.” I fold my arms across my chest.
“I’m not going to fight with you, Liri. I’ve had a hell of a night so can you save it for later.”
“You wouldn’t have gone to jail if you’d only stayed home and talked to me.”
“I went to the frat house.”
I ball my fist up at his words and exit the elevator. He follows me and gets his keys out with his left hand. I take them from him so I can open the door.
“How did you end up in jail?”
“I realized what an utter moron I was and decided to come home. I was pulled over on the way. I had to call my father and luckily the arresting officer was a fan and only took me in for public intoxication instead of a DUI.”
“Lucky for you.” I stomp to the bathroom and leave him sitting on the edge of the bed. I wash my face and brush my teeth. When I get back in the bedroom, he has kicked his shoes off and is laying on top of the covers.
“I understand if you want to leave me and go to Paris.” His arm is strung over his eyes and he sounds despondent.
“Why would I do that? I may be upset with you, but it doesn’t mean I want to leave you.”
“You should or you will when I tell you what happened at the party.”
I crawl onto the bed and lay next to him. My right cheeks is laying on the pillow. “Look at me.” He doesn’t. I grab his arm and jerk it away. “I said look at me, Killian. If you did something that terrible at least have the balls to face me.”
Slowly he turns his face toward mine. “I was at the frat house, and I grabbed a bottle of liquor and took it out on the balcony. I just wanted to be numb and not feel anything. Jackie followed me.” My heart sinks to my stomach like a rock in the bottom of a lake. “She asked me if we were still together.”
“And what did you tell her?”
“That I didn’t know. I figured you were pissed at me for walking out. But then I said it was none of her business. She laughed and said we lasted longer than she thought. Then she tried to kiss me.” Tears well up in the corners of my eyes and one slides down my cheek. Killian brushes it away. “I pushed her away, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. The stupid bitch offered to give me a blow job and promised she would never tell you.”
“Stop,” I croak, wiping at my eyes. “I don’t want to hear the rest.”
“I turned her down and got in my car. I couldn’t do that to you. Maybe I should have so you’d be smart and go to Paris.”
“Why do you want to push me away so badly?” I sniffle.
“Because I’m not good enough for you. Do you know that I wished cancer on my father for years? I wanted him to suffer like Mom did and now look, Liri. He has cancer.”
“It’s not your fault, Killian. You didn’t give him cancer.”
“I know that but tell that to my guilt.”
“You’re human. It’s natural to hate people and wish bad things on them sometimes. You didn’t mean it. You’re not a bad person, Killian. You were a hurt and confused little boy.” I press my lips to his and close my eyes. “If I fall asleep are you going to leave?”
“No, Liri. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good.” I curl my body into his and lay my head on his chest. I’m going to strangle Jackie next time I see her.
“Dad said the bar and grill is going to be closed today but you can come in tomorrow after your classes let out if you’d like to.”
“Okay. Are we okay?”
“I don’t know,” he answers and my heart cracks a little more.
“Do you really want me to go to Paris?”
“No.” His left arm tightens around me. “I would like it very much if you didn’t go to another country to get away from me.”
“Then stop trying to send me there.”
“Get some sleep, baby.”
Chapter 43
Liri
“We get most of our business during lunch rush, happy hour, and the weekends,” Noelle tells me.
“So, you all work here, your mom, Conrad, and Dillan?”
“Dillan has his own construction business, but he helps out when needed. Especially with Conrad having to travel for his doctor appointments.”
“How old are your girls?”
“Sadie is five and Hope is three. This is them.” She pulls her phone out of her apron and swipes through a few pictures of these little angels who have dark hair and eyes like the Hendrix men.
“They are too cute.”
“They’re mean as can be. I tell Dillan they must get that from him.” She smiles.
“You guys have been together a long time then?”
She squints and starts counting on her fingers. “Well I guess we have been dating for ten years. Feels like my whole life I’ve know him since I was born. How did you meet Killian?”
“Um actually our first encounter was me walking past his car and him calling me a nerd.”
“And you still went on a date with him after that?”
“I know, right? But he was cute, and he pissed me off more than anyone. There was just something about him. He didn’t want to go out with me either. The first night I knew him he bet me in a race.”
“That sounds about right.” She rolls her eyes. “Boys and their toys. They love anything fast. No offense.”
“None taken. Does Dillan race?”
“He used to but once I was pregnant with Sadie he quit. Said it wasn’t worth the risk of not coming home to her.”
“I bet he’s a great dad.”
“Most of the time. Anyway, today you can hang out and see how we run things and help me keep the tables clean. You’ll need to the learn the menu. If anyone orders alcohol and looks under thirty-five, you’ll have to ask for their ID. You technically aren’t supposed to serve alcohol unless you are twenty without supervision, but we can worry about that later. If anyone asks, you’re twenty-one.” She winks.
Most
of my evening mainly consists of me sitting at the counter and rolling silverware up in napkins then taping the sets closed. Next it is filling the salt and pepper shakers and checking all the tables for condiments that weren’t returned to the kitchen.
“Don’t let the easiness of today fool you. Tomorrow will be crazier because we do a two for Tuesday dinner special. Oh, and also you will have to wear one of our t-shirts and black pants. We have some smalls ones in the back I’ll get you a couple before you leave.”
“Thanks.”
“I think that one’s for you.” She motions to Killian standing by the front door.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” I kiss his cheek.
“Came to talk to my dad is he around?”
“I think he’s back in the office.”
“Okay.”
I want to tell Killian that I am proud of him for making the first step to repair his relationship with his father, but I keep quiet. If I say anything, he’ll find a reason to turn away.
Men and their pride.
I think about my own parents. I feel bad that I haven’t gone back to see James, my birth father. Being around him was hard. I don’t know if I can do it again. I know it’s selfish of me. My hand goes to the locket around my neck. Guilt swims in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I can text Sandy and see how he is doing. I’m not ready to commit to another visit yet. I haven’t spoken with my parents either. I’m not ready for that conversation or the stress that will go along with it.
Killian comes back out from the back and stops long enough to tell me he will see me at home.
“Did he just say see you at home, as in home like you live together?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Noelle’s jaw drops to the floor. “Wow. Don’t take this wrong but you must have some magical snatch.”
“What?!” I laugh. My cheeks grow hot.
“He has never brought a girl around in the history of ever. He didn’t even let anyone take pictures of him with his prom date. And the two of you share an address. I just can’t believe it.”
“Well it’s true.”
“Whatever spell you cast on him can you give me some pointers. I have two adorable kids with Dillan and still can’t get him to set a date for our wedding.”
“Would if I could.” I feel bad for Noelle if they have been together as long as she says, and she still don’t have a wedding band on her finger. I know some people don’t feel the need to marry, but I couldn’t imagine Killian and I getting to the point in our relationship that I would want a ring and him never following through.
Conrad comes out of the back. “I don’t know what you’ve done to my son, but whatever it is keep doing it.”
I look at him confused.
“That’s what I’m saying, but she needs to light a fire under Dillan’s ass to set a date,” Noelle chimes in. “Did you know they live together?”
“He told me yesterday. I’m happy to see he didn’t scare you off with his little performance the other night.”
“I love your son. He’s a jerk but he’s my jerk.” They both laugh.
We say our goodbyes and Noelle grabs me a couple of work shirts. When I go out to my car Killian is parked next to my car. I get into the passenger side of his car. “Hey, thought you left already.”
He shrugs. “Was just thinking.”
“About?”
“Stuff. Life. I had a good talk with my dad. He told me about his cancer, and we talked about the past a little. I’m not fully over everything but I think I can understand him a little better now.”
“That’s good.”
“Guess so. How did your first day go?”
“It was okay. Noelle is nice.”
Killian rolls his eyes.
“Stop. She is the mother of your adorable nieces that you never told me anything about.”
“To be fair I never see them.”
“You should.”
“Baby steps,” he tells me.
“I’ll see you at home then?”
“I’ll race you.” He smirks.
“I wouldn’t want to embarrass you when I leave you eating my dirt. I mean my Camry is pretty mean on the streets.”
“You’re a regular bad ass, baby.” He leans over to kiss me before I exit his car. One kiss turns into three and I have to force myself to pull away.
“Save the rest for at home, Romeo.”
Chapter 44
Liri
I’ve been working at the bar and grill for a few weeks now. I’m earning some great tips, but Killian might kill me when I tell him I volunteered us to babysit his nieces so Dillan can take Noelle out for their anniversary. She’s hoping to get him to commit to a wedding date. I couldn’t tell her no. I am also hoping it will convince Killian to do Thanksgiving at his dad’s. He had surgery last week to have a prostatectomy. They went in and removed the prostate gland and the cancerous tissue around it.
They are hopeful that the cancer won’t return but will monitor it over time. He’s taking the next two weeks off from the bar. Him and Susie would normally keep the girls but because he is recovering from surgery, they had to say no. I haven’t decided how to break the news to Killian. Things have been going so well I am almost afraid to rock the boat in any way with him.
“Aren’t you working today?”
“Sort of. I wanted to talk to you about that actually.” I twist my fingers together and stare at the floor.
“You want to quit?”
“No, it’s not that. I um. Here’s the thing. Your brother and Noelle have been together a long time, and it’s their anniversary, and he won’t set a wedding date. Noelle is kind of freaking out that he is never going to marry her, and your dad just had surgery. They don’t have anyone to watch the kids, and she really wants him to commit to a date. She’s not getting any younger and the girls are growing up and starting school.”
“Liri, baby, breathe. One thing at a time.”
“Okay, well I told her that we’d watch them.”
“Why? It’s not your responsibility.”
“I know but she’s kind of my friend now because we work together, and your mom couldn’t do it because she is working at the bar that day to help out because your dad had surgery. And it was the nice thing to do.”
“So you work and Mom can keep the girls problem solved.”
“Problem not solved, the liquor commissioner is supposed to come in and do an inspection. I’m not technically old enough to be working there because in this state I need to be twenty to serve and sell alcohol unless there is someone who is at least twenty to supervise me, but I didn’t think you’d want to work at the bar all day.”
“This conversation is giving me a headache.” He rubs his temples.
“That’s a yes, right? Because we need to be at their house in like an hour.”
“This is going to cost you greatly,” he warns.
“Whatever you want, name it and it’s yours.”
“Ooh the possibilities.” He rubs his hands together.
**
“Our number is on the fridge in case of an emergency. We will call you to check in though. Mom and Conrad are just next door if you do have an emergency though. They already had their evening snack and they can skip their baths. I left pizza money in the cookie jar if you want to order something for delivery. Nothing too scary on TV because Hope will wet the bed. No drinks after eight for Sadie. Hope will go to bed at seven thirty. Sadie should conk out about nine and we should be back by eleven.”
“Noelle, we’ve got it under control. Have a great time.” I look over at Killian and his nieces. They are already smitten with his charm. Though he did bring them candy and Barbie dolls.
“You’re right. I’m not always like this. I’m nervous. Not about the girls, but I’m going to give Dillan an ultimatum. I hate to do it but I’m tired of waiting.”
“He loves you. It’ll be fine.”
“I hope so. Thanks for doing this and getting Killian he
re. It means so much to Dillan though he’d never admit it, but he misses his brother.”
“Glad to help. The girls are adorable, and I am excited to spend time with them.”
“Okay girls, give me hugs and kisses.” She squats down and they each run to hug her and kiss her on the cheek. “Be good for your Uncle Killian and Auntie Liri, okay?”
“We will, Momma,” Sadie tells her. Dillan gives them both hugs and then they are gone and it’s only the four of us.
Killian turns them on a cartoon and sets to opening their new dolls for them. They seem to really like My Little Pony. Dillan and Noelle live in a doublewide next door to Conrad and Susie’s house. The girls have their own rooms. Sadie’s is decorated in flowers and Hope’s room is done up in something called Paw Patrol.
“You guys like to play Candyland?”
“That’s for babies,” Sadie tells me with a hand on her hip.
Killian laughs and I shoot him a dirty look. “Hey, this was your idea.”
“Hope, do you want to play?” She nods her head.
“Hope cheats!” Sadie warns.
“Nu-uh,” Hope argues and sticks her tongue out.
This is going to be a long night.
After three games of Candyland and another episode of My Little Pony, Killian has abandoned me to go outside to smoke.
“Is Uncle Kill your boyfriend?” Sadie questions. I love that they call him Uncle Kill. It’s stinking cute when they say it.
“He is.”
“Do you love him?”
“Most of the time.”
“I think boys stink but Uncle Kill smells nice.”
“I thinks so too.” I laugh. Sadie is quite the character and says whatever is on her mind. Hope is shyer but I think she is warming up to us. I’m trying to keep them busy enough that they don’t have time to fight or to miss their mom and dad.
We’re at the kitchen table make cupcakes out of Play-doh.
This is an activity I like. I get to create with my hands. Killian returns and after washing his hands he pretends he is a cupcake monster and smashes our creations. The girls are laughing, but I really worked hard on mine and pout about it for about five minutes.
The Story of Killian & Liri (Cruel Love Book 1) Page 23