by J. F. Gump
He wondered how much different her life might have been if she had never given birth to him. Would she have gone to Bangkok or Pattaya? Or would she have married a good Thai man and raised a family in Phitsanulok? But for him, would she be happy? In her own way she had given up her life for him.
When she stopped talking, he took her hand in his. He tried to speak but his throat clamped shut. He buried his face on her shoulder and cried. In a moment he managed to whimper, "Mama, please hold me." He sounded more like a young boy than a grown man. "Please hold me again." And she did.
By the time they had reached the bustle of Pattaya, Surat had decided he wanted Nuang back, no matter what the truth about their child. The baby belonged to his wife and that was all he cared about. If anyone said anything about his child looking more farang than Thai, he could tell them with authority that he had farang genes inside himself. No one could deny his light skin and his green flecked eyes.
Suddenly he wasn't ashamed that his father was American. The more he thought about it, the more proud he became of the idea. He would start acting like he was half farang. He would learn English. He would learn to read and write. Since he was sure he no longer had a job, he might even start his own transportation service. He knew the business and had often thought about being independent. All he needed was seed money for a vehicle or two. The idea excited him. With nothing to lose, he mentioned his plan to the rich man but expected instant rejection. He was surprised when the man agreed to finance the venture for fifty percent ownership. But he wanted other things too. Weird things like insisting that he and Nuang stay together and raise their child. Isara also insisted that neither he nor Nuang could ever talk about their pasts when his son Laht was around. Surat wasn't sure what that had to do with anything or how he could agree, but he would make sure the promise was kept. He began making his plans for his family's future.
A few minutes later, the car pulled into hospital drive. Isara was the first out of the car. "I must check on my son," he said and hurried away.
Surat slid from the car but motioned for Anya to stay inside. "Please, wait here for a minute. I must speak to my wife in private."
She nodded her understanding.
Surat stepped into the emergency room waiting area half expecting that Nuang would be gone. He was relieved when she was there. Her face was buried in her hands. If she had seen him enter, she didn't acknowledge. He fidgeted for a minute deciding what he would say to her. No coherent thoughts would come. Finally, he decided he would say whatever came out of his mouth. He walked to where she sat, knelt down beside her, and gently put his hand on her arm. "Phom lak tuh, teelak.” I love you, sweetheart.
Nuang looked up. Her eyes were swollen and red. "Why are you taunting me? I know I have shamed you. Why don't you just leave me alone?" Her voice cracked and she broke into heavy sobs.
"Nuang, listen to me. You and I have spent most of our lives together. I have loved you more during the last year than I loved you when we first met. You may be ready to give that up, but I'm not. When our baby is out of the hospital, I want us to go home and be a family. I want you, Nuang. Will you go with me?"
"I don't understand. After all that I have done, how can you still love me?"
"You've done nothing."
"But –" she started to protest.
He pressed his fingertips against her lips to stop her words. "You've done nothing except give birth to my daughter."
She pulled him close and her tears fell like monsoon rains. "I love you, Surat. I'll always love you."
"I know," he said. "Come, there's someone I want you to meet." He took her by the hand and led her outside to the waiting car.
Nuang allowed Surat to lead her through the emergency entrance to the Mercedes parked outside. He opened the rear door. A woman, about the same age as her own mother, sat inside. She looked up at Surat. Questions lined her face.
"This is my mother. She is coming to live with you and me and our baby."
Surat caught Nuang when she fainted and laid her gently on the rear seat. "Take care of my wife," he said to Anya. "I'm going to see my daughter."
Anya smiled and nodded.
Surat went directly to the registration desk, "I want to see my baby."
The nurse recognized him as the man who had come with the others and had been questioned by the police. "And who are you?"
"My name is Surat Duansawang," he said with a touch of pride. "I am the father of my daughter."
The nursed studied him for a long second then picked up the phone. A long series of ka's followed. She put down the phone and said, "Your baby's being released. A woman is bringing her now."
Chapter 55
Somjit was in an examination room for what seemed like hours while the doctors and nurses poked, prodded, and took blood and urine samples. Finally they left her alone. In a while, she got up from her bed and stepped into the corridor. It was empty.
Laht and baby Tippawan were here somewhere. As quietly as possible, she stuck her head into every room. In one she saw the doctors stitching a cut on Laht's head. He was awake and instructing the doctors on how to do their job. She started to go to him but didn't. The doctors intimidated her. In the next room she found little Tippawan. She had already stepped inside before she realized a nurse was there.
"May I help you?" the nurse asked.
"Is she okay?"
"She is asleep. She will be fine."
Somjit nodded and left the room. She went back to Laht's room and waited outside. When the doctors came out, she stopped them. "Can I see him please? He is my husband." It was a lie but she didn't care. It was almost true.
"We've given him pain medication. He's a little groggy, but you can see him. Let him sleep if he wants."
"Thank you."
Laht smiled when she stepped into his room. "You look beautiful." His words were slurred thick-lipped. "I love you."
She hurried to his side and wrapped him in her arms. "And I love you." She held him until they both fell asleep.
Much later, she was awakened by the sharp cry of an infant in pain. She abandoned Laht and rushed to Tippawan's room. The nurse shushed her outside. "The doctor has reset her dislocated shoulder. There's nothing else wrong except some minor scrapes. She can leave when he is finished. I was told you are her nurse mother. Will you take responsibility for her when she is discharged?"
"Yes. I will take care of her."
"Wait here," the nurse said and hurried away.
As Somjit waited for the nurse to bring little Tippawan, she wondered what she would do when she left the hospital. Laht was still here and she had no idea where Nuang had gone. Maybe she would get a hotel room for the night and ask Laht tomorrow what they should do.
The nurse returned and handed little Tippawan to her. Never again would she let anything happen to the baby.
When she stepped into the waiting room she saw the taxi driver, the man who said he was Nuang's husband. In her heart she knew it was true.
Surat had just turned when Somjit appeared with his daughter held tight against her chest. His already-stressed emotions stretched to breaking. How could he face this woman? She had been caring for his daughter, but he had no idea why or for how long. He wondered how attached she had become to the baby. His instincts told him the attachment was strong. He searched for the proper words to say, but nothing seemed right. He knew there would be hurt no matter what he said. He forced a humble smile to his face.
"Sawasdee krup," he said with a respectful wai. "My name is Surat. We have met before."
Somjit's heart twisted painfully. She knew this moment was coming but she had prayed it never would. This man was going to take little Tippawan away and she couldn't stop him. He was Nuang's husband, even if he wasn't the baby's father. She wondered what he knew about his own wife. She steeled herself for the inevitable. "Where is Nuang? Is she okay?"
Surat saw desperation etch the woman's face. He had seen that same look in his own face the night Nu
ang had run away. It was the reflection of impending loss. "She's outside. I'm taking her home."
"What about the baby?"
"I'm taking the baby home, too."
Somjit grasped at invisible straws, "The baby is half farang."
"So am I," Surat responded, unabashed.
She studied his skin and his eyes and the shape of his face. Now that he had said it, she could see it. Maybe he really was the father of the baby. She tried to speak but couldn't.
"You're welcome in our home if you have no place to go," he said softly. "I don't know everything that's happened, but I think Nuang would want you with us."
Her first reaction was to say yes, images of Laht made her say no. "I think your wife needs time alone with her baby." Tears welled then flowed as she handed little Tippawan to Surat. "Please go quickly."
Surat's emotions twisted tight and hard like wire rope. "Please come with us."
"Please, just go." She turned away from Surat and slumped into a nearby chair. She waved him away without looking. Her shoulders drooped in resignation.
Surat watched her for a minute then walked away. Somehow he would keep in touch with this woman. He knew in his heart that one day she would be known as Aunt Somjit.
He went to the nurse's station. "How much do I owe?"
"You can pay the cashier. It's just down the hall."
"I need to know how much. I may have to go to an ATM."
"I'll check," she said then punched at her keyboard. "You owe… hmm… The computer says you owe nothing."
"I don't understand."
"Your bill has been paid already."
Surat knew it must have been the rich man, Isara. The man had been more than generous with him already. He wondered why? But the why of things wasn't important now. They had already made a business agreement and Surat would keep his promises.
"Khop khun krup," he said. "I must go to my wife now." He turned and left the hospital with baby Tippawan in his arms.
Outside, Nuang was still in the backseat of the taxi and apparently asleep. His mother sat in the front passenger seat. "Anya, I mean mother, please hold my baby."
She looked at Surat and said, "I think that tonight, the baby belongs with its mother. She'll wake easily enough for her child."
Surat wasn't sure what to say, so he said nothing. He went to the back seat and nudged Nuang with his hand. "Teelak, here is our daughter. Can you hold her for a while?"
Nuang awoke. She was in the back of a car, but didn't remember how she got there. Surat filled the open doorway, his outstretched hands held a blanket-wrapped bundle. She took it from him and snuggled it close to her. The baby's scent rushed her senses. It was her baby, it was little Tippawan. In a moment the taxi was in motion. Nuang prayed they were going home. When the lights of Pattaya faded to less than a glow, she spoke to Surat, "Will everything be okay, teelak?"
There was a moment of silence while he organized his thoughts. "Everything will be perfect. I am going into business with the rich man in the Mercedes. It was my idea and he liked it. We're opening a limousine service in Phitsanulok. He has a ready made clientele. I will make so much money that we can buy our own house, a nice Thai house with a kitchen and our own private bathroom and everything. I'm happy we can do this together."
"I was afraid you would hate me. That's why I ran away."
Surat knew what was coursing through her mind. "There is nothing to hate."
She wondered what he thought and what he knew. "Thank you for finding me. Thank you for forgiving me."
"There is nothing to forgive."
Nuang blushed. She knew the truth and suspected Surat did too. She changed the subject. "What about Somjit? She will hate me for taking the baby away from her."
"Somjit will be very busy with her future husband. His father is the man in the Mercedes. I'm sure we'll see them often."
Nuang leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Surat's neck. She placed a sniffing Thai style kiss on his cheek. "I love you. You are the best husband in the world."
"You should go back to sleep so I can drive."
Nuang lay beside her baby and held on for dear life.
Chapter 56
Laht was asleep when Isara entered his room. A young nurse with a clipboard was writing numbers from the machines. She smiled and motioned for Isara to be quiet. "He's doing very well," she whispered. "The doctor said he can leave in the morning."
Isara stared at his son for a minute before nodding his understanding. He stepped out of the room.
Dr. Phansak, Laht's friend from school, was waiting when Isara stepped into the hallway. "Do you have a minute?" he asked. "There is something you need to know."
"Of course. What is it?"
Dr. Phansak spoke low and direct. His revelations gave Isara pause. When they finished talking, Isara went to the cashier and made the necessary arrangements for hospital fees both current and future.
A minute later Isara was in the waiting area. To his left sat the young woman his son loved. She was staring straight ahead and didn't see him when he arrived. He took the opportunity to study her. On the outside she was as beautiful as Laht had said. But Isara knew that on the inside she carried secrets that he and Laht could only guess at. He was tempted to give her money and tell her to go away, but the image of his dead brother's face squelched the thought. He would let Laht decide his own future. When she finally noticed him, he walked to her.
Somjit pulled her arms tight against her sides and hunched her shoulders downward, as if trying to force herself smaller, or even invisible. She had already lost little Tippawan and now she would lose Laht. She knew it as sure as morning would come. She turned away from his approach.
"Look at me," he ordered.
Somjit glanced up. His presence was overpowering. She slid from her seat to her knees and wai'ed in the beggar-like manner suitable to her lot.
Isara ignored her low gesture. "I said look at me. Get up and look at me now."
Hesitantly, meekly, she looked up. "I'm sorry if I've caused your family any problems. It will never happen again."
Isara had no tolerance for groveling. "If you have any intentions of being my son's wife, you need to start acting like you have some self respect. If you love him, you'll get off your knees and look at me."
Somjit stood and pulled back her shoulders, "I do have self respect. Your son gave it to me. I'll always love him for that."
Isara regarded her haughtily. "Only that?"
She paused at his question. For her it was much more. "I love your son for many reasons. I love him because he is good and kind and caring, and I love him because he saved my life. Most of all, I love him because he loves me."
Isara smiled to himself behind his fake mask. "Then you should take care of him. If you'll excuse me, I have things to do before I can sleep. Tell Laht to call me tomorrow." He turned to walk away.
"What about the woman who saved his life? Is she okay?"
"She will be fine. She has the best lawyer in Thailand."
Somjit couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure she does."
At the door he paused and looked back. "You don't know it yet, but you are pregnant. It's my son's child." With that he disappeared into the night.
Involuntarily she put her hand to her stomach. What if it were true? There was no way he could know something she didn't know herself. Yet somehow she knew he was right. She eased past the doctors and entered the room where Laht lay sleeping. She took his hand in hers and squeezed tight. "I will make you a proud husband," she said. "I promise that to you." She pulled herself tall and smiled. "Then I will make you the proud father of our child."
Isara exited the hospital and entered the awaiting Mercedes. "Take me to the Pattaya police station," he said. "I need to get my best investigator out of trouble. I've promised her a vacation and I'm going to make sure she gets it. I think I'll give her a bonus, too."
The driver nodded, smiled, and drove south.
Chapter 57
>
When Itta left the hospital, she went directly to the Amari Orchid Hotel. True to his word, Mike was there. She wasn't sure what she would say to him. Their earlier conversation flashed through her: Anan and his lies, and Math and her love. Unlike Anan, she had told Mike the truth. She had had no reason to lie. She wondered if he also had no reasons to lie, especially about her sister Nuang. She doubted it. It didn't matter anyway; Nuang had denied everything.
"I'm glad you waited for me," she said, sliding onto the barstool beside his. Her tone was nonchalant. "We were talking about my sister, Math. Is that correct?"
Mike turned and stared at her. Ten minutes ago he had almost died and now this woman pretended like it never happened. For a moment he wondered if it had all been a dream. "Yes," he answered. He had no reason to say no.
For the next hour they exchanged personal stories about Math, and about themselves, too. Itta was intrigued by his understanding of her sister. Mike reveled in her stories about Math.
Many beers later their conversation drifted entirely from Math and focused on themselves and their own pasts. Much was revealed, but even more stayed hidden. Mike was entranced with her stories, her smile, and her charm. As they talked, he felt a desire he hadn't felt since Susan and Math had died. It embarrassed him.
Itta was surprised at how easy she opened up to him. She wasn't sure why. She had had her fill of farangs, but somehow this man was different. He was polite, he was funny, and he was not so bad looking. She felt unexpected warmth toward him.
They were both lost souls. One had lost loves while the other had lost dreams. At times it was hard to distinguish one loss from another. In a while they reached a quiet spot in their conversation. Itta broke the silence. "What will you do when your job here is finished?"
"I don't know. I suppose I'll go home. I have no reasons to stay here."
"Does that mean you have a reason to go home?"
Mike considered her question for a minute. "No," he finally admitted. "I have no reason to go home either. What about you?"
She hadn't seriously considered what she would do with her life. She had been playing with the notion of coming to Pattaya, even before Anan had called. Her search for Nuang had given her a perfect excuse to come here without upsetting her mother. She knew she could find work in Pattaya, but probably not the kind she could brag about to her family. Her mother knew it, too. "I've been thinking about opening my own business," she finally said. "I don't know what, though. Maybe a laundry service or a small restaurant. Whatever I do will have to be cheap; I don't have much money."