“Where are you going? Are you all right?”
I watched as she exhaled loudly to calm down from the running she had done to chase after me. Her wrist was bandaged for some reason, and her hand was gripping onto something hidden within her palm.
“I want to go home,” I whispered, heedless of what I had noticed of her. Rather, I thought back to how the Solstice Palace had glowed in the setting sun, its cracks and crumbling stone walls turning into something far more important than I had thought it would be.
It was as if she had read my mind when Selenah spoke the words, and suddenly, there we were. But we were not as close to the Solstice Palace as I had imagined us to be.
We were standing on an outcrop of land, jutting out in front of a sparse forest. From here, I could see the road and town beyond the Solstice Palace gates, as well as the Palace itself, its powerful towers calling my name.
“Your maids will be sent here soon, so no need to worry,” Selenah said after a time. She exhaled heavily as if the words had cost her a great deal of effort to say.
Her breathlessness –and inability to take us directly to the palace– shocked me. And although she did not say it, I had a feeling something important must have happened to her during the weeks I had not seen her. But I did not have the heart to ask her what was going on.
Instead, I forced a smile, and said, “It is all right.
I would like to be on my own for a while.” I turned away from her, seeing Selenah nod from the corner of my eye.
“Mel, promise me you will not forget Owen,” she said in a low voice. I gave her a sidelong glance. How could I forget him? Why even ask such a thing? “Please, Mel.”
“I promise.”
Selenah whispered something and her image wavered, and then she was gone.
With a sigh, I stood alone, looking at the view of the Solstice Palace that was unbearable from the mountain-like perspective I was at. It looked like a glass figurine shining in the waning sun. No longer did I see its fading purple-hued stone or the decaying walls. All I saw was home.
A home that harbored the people I loved but did no longer.
****
My maids prepared my bed that night as I stared out the window. There was a gentle hum in the air, and it lulled me from all the pain. I absently fingered the necklace, feeling a sort of reassurance from it. I turned to face Ayah, Blaire, and Yana. They looked exhausted, resting against the bedpost and the wall. It occurred to me then, that despite how terrible I was feeling, the three trailed after me. After adjusting to life in the Palace, they were forced to come to my aid in the King’s Castle after the Shadow Reaper’s attack and then were told to come back to the Palace after Selenah brought me back here.
“I am sorry for burdening you three,” I said, searching their faces for their forgiveness. “It was selfish of me to think only of myself and not of your well-being.”
Blaire walked up to me, giving me a smile.
“We would walk to the ends of the kingdom for one another,” she said, looking over her shoulder at the other two for their support. Ayah nodded earnestly. Yana smiled.
“If it comes with a handsome, young, and filthy rich husband-to-be then, of course, I would!”
We chuckled lightly, although Yana’s words brought me back to what Owen had said. Had he recovered; he would have asked to marry me.
The thought silenced my laughter.
“We will take it one day at a time,” Yana said softly, walking over to put a hand on my arm. “Together.”
****
I woke up with a headache. I remained laying there with tears in my eyes, for the Shadow Reaper was still in dreams, three weeks after it all.
My fingers traced the bird on my necklace as I turned in bed. It had become a habit now; because Owen was alive and well when Selenah had given me the necklace. And maybe if I just believed enough, he truly would still be alive.
I got out of bed and dressed, not wanting to wake up my maids. I wanted time for myself but being in the Solstice Palace without Owen brought back the heartache I had worked so hard to numb. There were no longer any smiles or laughs, or an archduke to seek out my company. I was sure that most, if not all of the Palace staff were also in mourning, for knowing someone or having lost a loved one like me. I forced myself to have breakfast with some of the other nobles at the Palace, to raise their spirits in an effort to help mine.
I spent the next few hours by myself, barely existing, in the Palace woods. The weather had begun to turn cold now, but there was nothing to feel but pain, and nothing to think of, but of Owen. Is it truly my fault? Or is it Selenah’s? I sighed, and gripped my arms, knowing it did not matter who was to blame now that he was gone.
The sound of feet rushing towards me brought me out of my thoughts. I turned to find all three of my maids, barely out of their nightgowns. I walked up to meet them, worried. They are barely dressed! What is going on?
“Has something happened?” I asked.
All three began to speak at once.
“We were looking–”
“Oh, Mistress–”
“It is incredible–”
“–you must hurry!"
“–He said–”
“Girls, please,” I shushed them, feeling a fluttering sensation in my chest at their eagerness. “One at a time.” They nodded. “Who would like to speak first?”
The three looked at each other, before Yana spoke up, taking a deep breath.
“A messenger from the King’s Castle arrived for you. He is awaiting your return.”
I could not help but smile at the happiness she was radiating.
“Has he told you why he came?” I asked them, motioning for them to follow me back inside. Did Prince Gareth decide to still marry Selenah? That would certainly keep me afloat for the next coming weeks.
“No, it must be quite important if he would not tell us of it,” Blaire answered.
“And where is he waiting?”
“Just outside your chamber,” Ayah supplied. I gave her a quizzical look. Why would a messenger wait for me there?
She flushed. “Well, he insisted,” she added quickly. Yana and Blaire shook their heads at her words.
“Hurry inside, you three. You will catch a cold out here in nothing but your nightgowns,” I scolded.
They rushed inside the Palace, giggling amongst themselves. I raced to catch up.
As I neared my chamber, I spotted the messenger, who was finely dressed and had a sword at his hip. His back faced us, and the more I stared at him, the more I thought I knew him. Those shoulders, the prince-like posture, that blonde hair…I stopped walking, feeling my heartbeat quicken. It could not be. Am I dreaming? I glanced at my maids, who stood nervously behind me. Or is this some sort of sick joke?
The messenger turned to face us hearing our approach.
I felt my knees weaken and I grasped my maids’ arms for support. Are my eyes playing tricks on me?
He came forward, almost running towards us. He halted a few steps away from me, blue eyes wide, and he smiled.
I collapsed into his open arms, the rush of heat from his body erasing all doubts. I pressed my cheek to his chest, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat, pure and true. His grip tightened around me as I looked up at him through blurry eyes, smiling.
“Owen,” I whispered. “How I have missed you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
DARKNESS WITHIN
“But how are you…?” I paused, biting my lip. “You stopped breathing, Owen. We took you for dead.”
He looked away from me, squinting at something in the distance.
We were both resting against the stone columns outside my chamber. My maids had scurried away, but no doubt within earshot of our conversation. I waited patiently for him to answer.
“Your sister, Lady Selenah, bought me back. I remember opening my eyes to see her face light up at my awakening.
I cannot recall how she did it or how long it has been since we la
st spoke.” Hearing him say those words, I felt my face flush red at the memory. From the corner of my eye, I saw Owen smile. “You do understand it is still what I want of us?”
I did not know what to say. Do I really deserve this second chance?
Owen propped himself off the column turning to face me completely. Feeling his undivided attention, I tried to remain calm. There were doubts that held me back from him, some otherworldly sense in my chest telling me we could never be.
“Melanie,” he took a step forward, but I shook my head, stopping him from coming any closer. My fingers gripped onto the silver bird at my throat as I took a shaky breath.
Would he understand that I did not deserve him? How could I be happy when there was darkness clinging to me?
“Owen, I love you, truly I do,” I said, tears welling up behind my eyes. “But we cannot be together, not like that.”
I saw him inhale sharply, his fists clench at his sides. It hurt to see the evident pain on his face, the tear-stung eyes that glimmered now in sadness. I had finally said those words he had been waiting to hear me say. And I had brought misery along with it.
“Why?” he whispered, the rough edge in his voice clawing my ears. “After everything that has happened between us, you still want to push me away? Did it all mean nothing to you?”
“You mean everything to me,” I choked out, but my thoughts wavering to the Shadow Reaper’s prophecy. His nightmares. He could not truly be gone if he had continued to haunt my dreams. “But I do not think I deserve you because…” I paused, forcing myself to stare directly into his eyes, “because you deserve someone better than me.” Better than a girl tainted by the Shadow Reaper. Better than a duchess.
He stepped forward to place his hands gently on my neck, his thumb rubbing against my cheek. Instinctively I pressed against his palm. He smiled faintly.
“My dreams are still nightmares,” I whispered. “Nightmares about the Shadow Reaper. Owen, I cannot trust myself. How can you trust me?”
“Melanie, you are more to me than just a pawn in someone’s game. How many times must I risk my life for you to understand that I would travel through seas and kingdoms, even through worlds, just to come back to you?”
“You do not understand,” I insisted, putting a hand over his to lower his away. “It is because you would endanger yourself that I refuse you. I refuse to make you do that ever again.”
“Melanie–”
“Owen. I lost you nearly twice. How can I take you back when you would just do it all over again for me?”
I choked out. “And your parents– they were so devastated by your death. And who was there to blame? Me, Owen. It was me they blamed. I forced you into this mess and I will not have you back in it. If not for me, you would be happily married in Porticor,” I added, looking straight at him. “Because that is the fate you deserve.”
“Happily married?” he echoed, incredulous. “Melanie, why can you not accept what we have? Why can you not accept me? Am I weak? Are my actions reflections of poor character?”
“You are anything but weak.” My heart raced as I continued. “You are strong and brave and so full of life. You offer me everything I have always wanted yet I can offer you nothing in return. Ever since we met, I have only put your life at risk. I had to watch you at your deathbed, Owen. Twice!” My throat constricted. “Why would you want me to keep you by my side knowing that?”
Owen smiled, catching me off guard. I blinked as he knelt to the ground, taking my hands in his.
“I would rather live a brief life with you at my side than an eternity without you. Have me be the happiest man Tenebris has ever known, Melanie, and marry me.”
I gaped, unable to contain my shock. After everything I have said, he still wants me? My breathing faltered and my eyes watered. The happiness I saw in his eyes, his face, it was happiness for me. Happiness because of me. And I knew there was nothing else I wanted more in life than to have that happiness, too.
“Yes,” I whispered, unable to control myself. “Yes, Owen, I will.”
The sound of three muffled squeals resonated in the air behind us. I let out a laugh, of relief and happiness, as Owen drew up to softly place a kiss on my lips. I lost myself then, blinded by the taste of victory.
When we pulled back, resting our foreheads together, I found my senses to question his coming.
“Owen,” I began, searching his face, “who else knows you are alive and well? Do your mother and father know?” He did not reply, casting his gaze down. “Owen, answer me.” But he did not have to say it for me to realize what it was. His silence was enough. “You have to tell them,” I whispered. “Please. Your mother loves you.”
He winced at the words. “Melanie, I do not want them to know– not even her,” he replied, opening his eyes to find mine.
“Owen, it pains me to think you wish to keep them in mourning,” I whispered.
“Please, Melanie. Just for now. I do not want them to spoil what little time of freedom I have with you.”
I could not deny him that. I did not know his relationship to his parents and why it would make him so adamant against them.
Nodding, I entwined my fingers with his, and we stepped out together where my maids mobbed us with questions.
“Where will the wedding be?” Ayah asked, eyes bright.
“In a beautiful meadow!” Blaire suggested.
“Behind a magnificent waterfall,” Yana sighed.
Owen and I grinned at each other.
“They both sound like wonderful ideas,” Owen said. “But perhaps Melanie and I should think it over ourselves before we announce anything.”
“A pity,” Yana replied, “I have much more romantic places to recommend!”
We all laughed, and it dispelled the doubts and worries that I had just minutes ago. My nightmares can wait. Because now Owen will be there for me when I wake up.
And I could not have been any happier.
****
Our swords met with a loud clank; its sound muffled by the helmet I wore. My thoughts trailed back to the month that had slipped by, a month of happiness and safety.
But it was all so fleeting, the memories, the fun, almost as if the cloud that had held me up so high was gone and all I was left with now was the crushing feeling of reality. I still dreamt of the Shadow Reaper and all my worries came back, stronger than ever.
I hissed as the sword in my hand skittered to the ground. I stared at my cut palm.
Owen dropped his sword and pulled off his helmet as he rushed to my side, taking my wounded hand in his.
“Melanie, forgive me,” he said. I could see the regret in his eyes. “I thought you would parry my attack.”
Sighing, I pulled away from him, taking off my own helmet. My hair blew in the early winter breeze while I sat on the cold trodden earth to examine the cut.
Owen knelt before me as he gently pried the ripped glove from my hand. The cut was nothing serious, not deep enough to draw blood, but enough to leave, what I hoped to be, a temporary scar. Owen smiled in relief and lifted my hand to his lips.
“I lost you again,” he whispered, brushing away a lock of stray hair from my face.
Guilt stabbed at me. “Sorry.”
He shook his head.
“What has gotten into you these past days, Melanie? Is it because I sent for my parents?”
I looked away.
Yes, maybe it was. What will they do, knowing their son came to me first, and not them? But it was more than that. How was I to explain what I truly felt? How am I to tell him I feel a void in my chest as if some darkness is taking over? And I am losing that battle within?
“Melanie, look at me,” I heard Owen say, using his thumb to make me face in his direction. “I could not ask for any more in my life. I have you and a home to provide you. But even now I feel you falling from my grasp.”
I felt the familiar pulse by my throat as Owen drew me close to him. Closing my eyes, I tried to shut out the fe
eling of desolation, of desperation. But what am I to despair about?
I was living a happy life. And yet there was a part of me craving for something else.
When our lips touched, a commotion behind Owen forced me to move away, and I opened my eyes. I looked over Owen’s shoulder to see what was going on. The moment I did, my heart skipped a beat.
Standing before us were the two I had hoped I would never have to see again: The Lord and Lady of Herington. They were dressed in rich black furs, still crying out their time in mourning. Owen had turned to see them as well and the color drained from his face. Neither of us was prepared for this moment.
“Owen?” the Lady of Herington whispered, eyes wide. “My son, is it truly you?”
I tried to breathe calmly. I could not do this, but Owen held me steadfast by his side, helping me to stand.
“Yes, Mother, it is I.”
She took a few steps forward but could not get any closer as the fence surrounding the arena stopped her from doing so. She opened her mouth to speak, but her husband spoke over her.
“Son, we have mourned your loss like none other,” he said, his tone bordering on spiteful. “And then we are told you are alive, living away from us for the past month. What have you to say for yourself?” But then the Lord of Herington caught sight of me. His eyes narrowed and he turned up his nose in disgust. “You again! And to find that you have spent your days with that wench? You shame this family,” he spat, eyes blazing. “She is nothing compared to what you could–”
“Do not dare speak ill of my wife,” Owen warned, catching his father by surprise. “I suspected neither of you would consent to my choice, so I remained away to reside with Melanie.”
“Wife?” his father repeated, his face now pale.
“My son, never would I dream of preventing you from your happiness,” his mother interrupted, looking over to me. “I am only grief-stricken that you could not see that, choosing to stay away from your own parents has caused us such despair.”
“What are you spewing, woman?” the Lord of Herington barked, red-faced. My blood turned at his words, filling me with a burning hatred. “I have strived to the greatest lengths to ensure my son would have the best this kingdom could offer in every aspect of life, including his wife! How dare you encourage his behavior!?” His wife flinched, and Owen tensed but did nothing as his father went on to berate his wife. “And when my son decides to forsake me and here you are telling him that the pain he caused me was just? You are just as daft as he is! I daresay you must have been the one to have taught him to disrespect me!”
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