by C. S. Wilde
Red Seth stands before me in a wine robe decorated with golden lines to match the tent. He’s bald at the top of his head, but the rest of his long hair falls over his shoulders. My face is inches from his feet and that I didn’t kiss them was thanks to divine providence.
“Nice to see you, puppy,” Red Seth says.
“Boss,” Bowman grunts. “You promised I could have fun with her.”
“You won’t play with Santana if she behaves. But if she doesn’t…” Red Seth crouches, his lips close to my ears. “So, what will it be, puppy?”
If I’m going down, I’m going down in style. I lift my head so I’m staring right at his bloodshot irises and spit on his face. The transparent goo slides down his cheek.
Standing up, I say, “I’m not your fucking puppy,” before unsheathing Foxberry and lunging at him.
Red Seth is faster than thunder, and in the blink of an eye, he’s standing at the opposite side of the tent. I keep running to him, a scream bursting out as I go, until an iron fist crashes against my stomach. It’s Bowman. Air bursts out of my lungs, and I fall to the ground, struggling to breathe. Bowman kneels and punches me in the face, cracking my bones, my brain thumping, and now I’m face to the floor. My head spins, I can’t gather thoughts, everything hurts. A frail yelp of pain blooms from somewhere, and I look for the source before realizing it came from me.
All the while, Red Seth watches from a safe distance.
The game’s over, and that’s what hurts the most. I didn’t even get a proper chance.
***
Bowman kicks my ribs, and something cracks inside of me, piercing my organs. My vision blurs, but before I pass out, I glance at Bowman’s foot. This last hit might’ve broken my bones, but it did the same to his toe.
I can rest now.
He yanks my head by the hair, and I jolt awake. The liquid in my mouth is copper-flavored blood, spreading inside me and filling all the places it shouldn’t. I wish I were an enlightened spirit right now, because everything hurts. I gasp and try to catch a breath, but it’s like I’m drowning from inside.
I don’t know how much more damage I can take, but it can’t be long now. All he needs to do is keep going until I’m obliviated.
“Stay awake,” Bowman growls. He lets my hair go and my face bangs against the floor. My whole body feels as heavy as iron. I can barely move.
Bowman hops on one foot to the back of the tent, and I laugh as blood drops from my mouth over the Persian carpet. “Wuss.”
Bowman glares at me like a mad dog and starts coming for another round. “Have you lost your mind, pretty face?”
“She thinks she deserves this,” Red Seth says from behind me, but I can’t turn to face him. My body has been smacked so hard that it hurts too much to breathe. “She thinks she deserves much worse.”
“Maybe she does,” Bowman snarls before he leaps closer and kicks me one more time, shooting me through the room until my back crashes against one of the posts of the bed. A bunch of joints snap in my spine and I lose the little breath I had left. I fall to the ground, belly-up like a limp doll, head tilted back.
Not long now.
Bowman is on the floor, struggling to get up, because his toe is about to fall off.
Take that, you asshole.
Red Seth sighs and crouches by the bed frame, pulling my chin down so that he’s looking straight into my eyes. He seems either tired or bored, maybe both. He lifts his right arm to show me a red plasma bunny. It’s Tommy’s pet.
My heart races, throat dries. “What have you done? Where’s Tommy?”
“Don’t worry, pup, he’s okay.” He glances at Bowman and they both smirk. “Of course, this depends on your definition of ‘okay.’”
Tommy always liked wandering off. They must have snatched him while he was playing with his bunny on those glorious rainbow fields. My mandible hurts from pressing my teeth too tight. If Red Seth harms Tommy, I will skin his spirit and wear his pelt as coat.
But I can’t even move.
Pathetic.
“Molly and the ‘Homies’ should be banging on my door soon.” Red Seth licks his lips. “In the Wastelands, the advantage is mine. We’re stronger here.”
I want to scream. Furious tears flow as naturally as blinking. “You’ll pay for this, you bastard.”
“And who will make me pay? You? You’re surrounded by my army, and you can’t move.” He rubs the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Now that you’ve seen there’s no point in defying me, will you behave?”
I cough a splash of blood on his face. He grabs me by the hair so my nose is inches from his. His saffron breath bursts against my face.
“You’re lucky that I need you for the ritual,” he snarls. “We’re done for the day.”
31
Bowman tosses me into a wooden cage, leaving me lying on my back. People say that if you get hit long enough, you stop feeling pain at some point, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. My whole body feels like it’s made of glass as I crash against the ground, and the pain lingers even after that.
“I hope Red will let me have a quickie with you tomorrow,” he says with a joy that disgusts me. He puts a hand over his crotch, showing me the volume behind his pants. “Our little fight really turned me on.”
I’m alone in a cage with this monster and I can barely move. Panic doesn’t even begin to cover it. You’ll have to kill me first, you son of a bitch!
He smirks as he locks the door. “That would be fun too.”
As soon as he leaves, I let out a relieved breath, thanking whomever is out there that he didn’t hurt me, not in the way of being beaten up senseless, but in the way that rips your pride and soul apart. Just the thought of it makes my stomach knot.
It’s fairly quiet around here, far from the center of the camp. Still, faint growls and laughs come from the distance. Up in the sky, the moons have nearly become one, but there’s an inch distance between both. This is why they haven’t killed me yet: The moons align tomorrow, not today.
The stars blink like diamonds, the same way they did during camping nights in the woods with Dad. I hope Mamma Na Se didn’t contact him. If he’s in the room with her when Red Seth wakes up in my body…I can’t even think about it. I close my eyes and picture Mamma Na Se, then start sending the linking waves to the sky, hoping she’ll hear me.
“Mamma, he knows the secret phrase.” I repeat this sentence in my head nonstop for I don’t know how long, but my waves aren’t strong enough to cross the universe. It’s the same feeling of swimming in the ocean and realizing the shore is too far away and that no matter how hard you swim, you’ll drown. Meanwhile, Tommy is somewhere in this camp, hurt and scared, and I can’t do anything to save him.
Tommy and countless people back on earth will die because of me. I’m a failure.
Pathetic.
“Psst!” The sound comes from somewhere in the dark. “Stop thinking like that, you silly ho.”
My heart flips over itself, but a part of me says this is too good to be true. It wasn’t Barry’s voice I heard, no, I must be hallucinating. That’s what I get for being hit in the head so much.
“Oh, it’s me all right.” He steps closer and looks down at me from outside the cage, his white smile standing out from the night, hands on his waist.
“Barry,” I croak. I’m so happy to see him that tears come out. This must be a dream, but it can’t be. I couldn’t sleep after all the shit I went through, even if I’d tried. “What are you doing here?”
He notices my wounds and shoots me a grim look. “They did a number on you, didn’t they?”
I smirk, as if my jagged body doesn’t feel as bad as it looks. “What? This little thing?” I pull myself up to sit, ignoring the shockwaves reverberating through my bones. Every move hurts like a stab to the heart, but it doesn’t matter. Barry is here and everything will be all right.
Suddenly Barry crouches, conveniently hidden behind an empty tent
, just as three Shades walk by. The Shades, a woman and two men, laugh loudly before they drop to the ground, moaning and groaning. Barry puts a finger over his mouth, asking me to stay silent.
Like shadows rising from the night, Tweedledee and Tweedledum sprout from the darkness, approaching the Shades. Three slashes later, dust sprinkles in the air and all is quiet. The Shades had no time to scream.
“Find the boy,” Barry whispers, and the Tweedles nod, leaving as swiftly as they came.
I gape at Barry. “Those twins hated you not two weeks ago.”
Barry smirks. “Let’s say a Wrath got the Lummeni listening.” He grabs the metal lock on the door and tries to crush it with his bare hands. It doesn’t work, but by the look on his face he expected it. “I told everyone that we were supposed to be enlightened spirits, help those in need, and that Evangeline would be devastated if she saw what we had become. No wonder none of us ascended anymore. After that, it was easy turning everyone against the Queen. Guess the real reason she sent me to guard that Wrath?”
“To keep you quiet.”
Obviously. Barry was a threat to her.
“Yup.” He takes a pin from his boot and starts picking at the lock, silently and carefully. “So there I was, starting my new reign, when a bunch of people from a place called the Home knocked on my door, saying they needed help to get a little boy back. On that same day, John and your friends came to me, saying we had to rescue you. And what do you know: you and the boy were in the same place.” He looks around, watching for movement. “Seems you two have a knack for getting in trouble.”
“Wait. Does that mean you’re king of Lummenia now?”
He nods.
It comes out before I think twice, “What are you doing? You’re too valuable to be here!” I try to move, but my ribs scratch some organ inside me and I halt midway, just as the pain starts spreading.
“Bitch, I gotta take you and that boy outta here before all shit breaks lose tomorrow. Even though your friends disagree, the twins and I are the best men for the job. Besides, I may be king but I ain’t the kind of king who sits around while shit blows up, you feel me?” He snorts, shaking his head. “King. Pretty badass, right?”
I smirk at that, honored that he’s here for me. “But if you’re king, who’s in your place right now?”
He opens a broad, rascal smile. “That friend of ours.”
“You mean Barbie?”
He nods.
Now that I think of it, it makes sense. Barbie forgave me for killing her, and I know it was indirectly, but to me it will always feel as if I pulled the trigger myself. If she’s not an enlightened spirit, I don’t know what is.
Christ, so much has happened in such a short time…
The lock clicks and the door opens. Barry widens a proud smile. “Come on, let’s get you outta here.”
I can’t thank Barry enough. He saved John, and now he’s saving Tommy and me, and as a consequence, thousands of people back on earth.
He’s making a habit of saving the day, isn’t he? But we can’t leave yet. “Barry, we need to figure out a way to kill Red Seth. He’ll stop at nothing.”
He stops at the entrance of the cage, hands on his hips. “Bitch, we’ll worry about that when you’re in the safety of Lummenia. Can’t risk you falling into Red Seth’s hands again.”
A deep laugh coming from behind Barry interrupts us. “I’ve always loved killing the Lummeni.” Bowman steps out of the dark, sword in hand and an eager smile on his face. “You always put up a nice fight.”
Barry unsheathes his scimitar all too quickly. “You won’t be thinking the same way after I’m done.”
They lunge at each other with swift moves and attacks, the clanging of their swords keeping a steady pace. My heart presses against my chest, because I know the crushing strength of Bowman’s punches. Barry is quicker though, and he jabs Bowman’s stomach, then his face from below, making a beautiful hollow thud. Bowman falls back, and Barry’s scimitar rushes down, but Bowman regains his balance and dodges as fast as a finger snap.
I need to help Barry. I force myself to stand, and my butt lifts an inch from the ground before falling back. “Come on!” Taking a deep breath and leaning over the wooden bars, I manage to stand with shaky legs. Pain thumps everywhere as I try one step. My legs fail, but my grip is strong on the bars. Four steps and I’m out.
Barry trips Bowman, making him kneel. He tries cutting Bowman’s head off, but Bowman ducks and slashes a deep cut on Barry’s leg. Blood sprays out of the wound, but Barry doesn’t flinch, and this seems to surprise Bowman.
“I’m a Lummeni, motherfucker.” His scimitar cuts the final blow, but Bowman blocks it with his sword and stands up.
Meanwhile, I stumble over my feet. One more step. One. More. Step.
A harsh thump: Bowman just punched Barry’s stomach so hard, his body crashed into a tree.
“Barry!”
Bowman turns to me, head bloodied and a few teeth broken. As quick as lightening, he runs back and punches me against the end of the cage. My spine crashes against the wood, closed wounds open and pain bursts out, blinding me.
He stands outside, laughing. He doesn’t even bother to close the cage.
I barely see Barry running to Bowman and Bowman throwing Barry over his shoulder. Barry falls with his back on the ground, right by my side, but outside the cage. He turns to me just as Bowman’s sword rushes down and cuts his head off.
I forget the pain and stare at Barry as blood flows out of his neck.
This didn’t happen, it couldn’t have. It’s a nightmare, Barry is fine back at Lummenia; it has to be a nightmare.
Bowman wipes blood from his nose and snorts. “Too easy.” He kicks Barry’s unmoving legs. “I’m gonna take care of your friends now.”
Thick, blinding anger possesses me, and I jump toward Bowman, bellowing the hatred out, because if I don’t, it will rip me open from inside. He punches me in the stomach and knocks me back into the cell in the same manner someone flicks away a bug.
He lifts the rags over his waist to show a chain with three or four locks, then grabs one and closes me before I hurl myself against the door. Although I push it with all my strength, it doesn’t cave. I stretch my arms between the bars, aching for Bowman’s throat, but he stands at a safe distance.
I will slaughter you!
“Hate is the best medicine for a Shade,” he eyes me up and down. “Look how ready you are for another fight. You look even prettier.”
I look at my thin, midnight-blue hands and my lungs drop to my feet. But I still have hair, so I’m not a full Shade yet. Not like him; never like him.
“See you in the morning.” Bowman says cheerfully as he walks away.
I fall to the ground, panting through grinded teeth, pain coming out in howls that claw at my windpipe.
“Santana.” Barry is still here, looking at me with sad eyes and a half smile on his lips.
“Barry!” The sobs come ruthlessly and at once. “You can’t go! What about Evangeline? You have to meet her! I’m so sorry, please stay!”
“It’s not your fault, Santana.”
His fingers dissolve into black ashes, followed by his hands and arms, and then his severed head, until all parts of him swoosh in the air and mingle with the night.
I can’t let him go, not like this. It’s not fair; it’s my fault he’s really dead, no matter what he said. I try to scoop all that I can from the floor, try to keep him with me for a little while longer, but in the end, all I have is a handful of ashes.
It’s my fault, all of it. Everyone who cares for me dies.
Fire burns inside me, killing and birthing at the same time, and in the chaos, my own voice whispers I must pay. Anger and remorse rumble in a storm of madness, telling me to Crush Bowman’s skull and rip Red Seth’s limbs from his body. It’s so easy to give in to these raging thoughts…Slit the throats of every Shade of this army, drink their blood, and relish every second of it.
&
nbsp; My shivering stops as I watch Barry slip through my fingers. Kill.
Kill them ALL!
32
It’s morning. The multitude of Shades closes me in a wide circle with Bowman and Red Seth.
Bowman orders, “Kneel before our master!”
I remain standing, so he punches me in the stomach, crushing my intestines against my spine. I bend over as pain infests flesh and bones, but he pulls me by the hair and straightens me up. He punches me again; a hollow thud that sends bile all the way up to my throat. I arch over my stomach, but he pulls me by the hair again. The third strike pulverizes my organs. I fall breathless to my knees while the Shades cheer like excited monkeys.
My own voice echoes in my head. Kill them.
Fury, pure and blind, bloomed inside me last night, accompanied by a guilt that sticks to me as if it were gum under a shoe. The fury says I should kill everyone and then kill myself. Do justice for once. It shows me visions of everyone I cared about dying, and it shows me Mother, whispering that she died because of me too. They all did.
I look at the Shades. Morons, following a maniac like cattle. I’ll pull their hearts out of their chests and they’ll watch me smile as they turn into ashes.
I shake my head. Anger and guilt are Shade fuel—Barry said so. He also said that I needed to control them, otherwise I’d go mad, and I can’t go mad because I have to figure out a way to rescue Tommy.
But Barry is gone, and it’s our fault. He’s calling for us. Can’t you hear him?
Breathe, Santana. You’re in control, not this…thing.
Red Seth stands a few feet from me with a triumphant grin. His hair is a mix of red threads and blood, but the blood drips from his hair and dances back to its roots, defying gravity. It has become a living maleficent thing, like him. To make it creepier, he wears crimson leather overalls and torn, black leather shirt and pants, which make him resemble some sort of gothic demon.
“So nice of you to pay your respects to me, puppy.”
The Shades jeer in the background.