“Yup. Catch you later.”
The moment I push out of the locker room, my gaze arrows to the stands where Em had been sitting. My step falters when I realize she’s no longer there. Instead, I find her with Alex by the glass doors that lead to the lobby. As soon as Alex catches sight of me, he slings an arm around Emerson’s shoulders and hauls her close. I grind my back molars until it becomes painful.
“Don’t get your undies in a bunch, Philips,” he says gleefully. “I was just keeping your girl company so she wouldn’t be lonely.” He grins, flicking his gaze at Em. “Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”
In answer, Emerson rams her elbow into Alex’s side. He grunts and rubs his ribs.
“You’re a feisty little thing.” He makes a purring sound deep in his throat before snapping his teeth playfully at her. “I like that in a girl.”
Emerson rolls her eyes as a smile hovers around the corners of her lips. I know that Alex is just yanking my chain, trying to get a rise out of me, but I don’t like his hands on Em.
Actually, I don’t like any guy’s hands on her.
Alex’s gaze bounces between us with interest.
When he realizes that I’m not going to take the bait, he says, “All right, kids. I’m going to take off. I’ve got things to do and places to be.” He unwinds his arm from Emerson before waggling a finger between us. “You two keep it PG. None of that below the belt stuff.”
I narrow my eyes.
Alex must realize that he’s skating on thin ice, because he keeps his piehole shut before pushing his way into the lobby. It’s only after he disappears through the crowd that everything in me loosens. I’ve never been so happy to see the backend of someone in my life.
Fucking McAvoy.
Now that Alex is gone, I turn to Emerson. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. What’s up?”
A look of uncertainty flashes across her face. “Do you have time to talk?”
“Sure.” I tilt my head and study her for a moment, trying to figure out what’s going on. I haven’t seen Em since we ordered pizza and watched a movie Saturday night. “Want to grab something to eat and we can talk over dinner?”
She nods and gives me a tentative smile.
“Do you mind if we go to Stella’s?” I’m in the mood for Salisbury steak. Then again, I’m always in the mood for that.
“Yeah, that works.”
“Good, let’s hit it.”
Ten minutes later, we slide into our usual booth at the back of the restaurant. Stella takes our order, even though she knows what we want without having to ask.
Salisbury steak with an extra helping of mashed potatoes for me.
Chicken strips and fries for Em. Honey mustard dipping sauce on the side.
I’m freaking famished. I’m always hungry after spending a couple of hours on the ice. I could easily eat a double helping of dinner and not make a dent in my appetite.
Stella sets two glasses of water in front of us. “You kids need anything else?”
We shake our heads and Stella bustles over to another table of customers. My eyes settle on Em. Maybe I didn’t comment on it, but she was unusually pensive on the way over.
“What’s up?” My gut tells me that it’s something important otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up at the rink.
Emerson’s dark eyes skitter away as she silently removes the protective paper from her straw and plays with the wrapper. She folds it up like an accordion before flattening it out on the table and doing it all over again. It’s a nervous tick. One I’ve seen a thousand times.
What I don’t understand is why she’s so anxious. Instead of reaching across the table and stilling her fingers, I pick up my glass of water and bring it to my lips. My throat is dry. I didn’t hydrate nearly enough during practice. I was too damn busy knocking Alex on his ass.
Before I have a chance to ask what’s going on, she beats me to the punch. “I’ve come up with a solution to my problem.”
“Oh?” Apparently, the shitstorm that was last weekend hasn’t blown over the way she had hoped it would. But thanks to me, we already have a plan in place. All we have to do is spread the word that we’re dating and we’ll coast through the rest of the school year without further issues.
Easy as pie.
Speaking of pie, Stella serves an awesome blueberry one. It’s my favorite. She bakes them fresh every morning with her own two hands.
Want to know what the secret ingredient is?
Lard.
Tonight is definitely shaping up to be a pie kind of night.
As an added bonus, I won’t have to watch Em date anymore dipshits. Double score. For the time being, she’ll be mine. That notion probably shouldn’t fill me with as much joy as it does.
Emerson leans forward and without thinking, I do the same until our foreheads are almost touching.
“You know, my virginity,” she whispers, glancing around to see if anyone has overheard her. “I want to get rid of it.”
I jerk back in shock. I don’t recall that being part of the plan.
“What do you mean, you want to get rid of your virginity?” My voice rises with each word. “How are you going to do that?”
I wince, knowing damn well how she’s going to do it.
Before she can respond, I stab a finger at her. “Who the hell are you going to sleep with? It better not be some random dude.”
Emerson nibbles at her plump lower lip and glances away. Ensnared by the action, my gaze lowers to her mouth and I stifle a groan as desire shoots through me.
“The guy I have in mind wouldn’t be random,” she whispers furiously, her face heating.
The idea of her screwing someone I know pisses me off even more than the notion of her hooking up with a faceless stranger.
Who?
Who the hell is she planning on sleeping with?
Emerson doesn’t have any other close guy friends. She knows a few of my teammates and seems to like them well enough—
Oh, hell no!
My temper skyrockets. “It had better not be anyone from the hockey team!”
I’m about ten seconds away from losing my shit.
Out of all the guys, she probably likes Colton the best. He’s the nicest of the bunch. And he’s a good guy. The thought of them together makes me want to smash something with my fist.
Like Colton’s face.
Emerson quickly shakes her head. “You know I would never mess around with any of your friends.”
All of my tightly coiled muscles gradually loosen. I tilt my head from side to side, cracking the joints to release the mounting pressure. If it’s not someone from the hockey team, then who could it be? A guy from one of her classes? An ex-boyfriend?
I’m drawing blanks.
Whoever the guy is, I won’t be happy about it.
That’s for damn sure.
“Who?” Already I’m gearing myself up to talk her out of this. It’s an idiotic idea. However, after what happened Saturday morning, I’ll keep that opinion to myself. “Who do you have in mind?” I hope she hasn’t already spoken with this douchebag about it. Any guy in his right mind would jump at the chance to bone Emerson.
Agitated by the direction of this conversation, I grab my water and bring it to my lips before chugging the remainder. The glass is so tightly clenched in my hand, it feels moments away from shattering. Not wanting that to happen, I make a concerted effort to loosen my grip.
“You.”
The water goes down the wrong pipe and I end up sputtering all over the table.
Fucking hell.
Chapter Sixteen
Emerson
Tears leak from the corners of Reed’s eyes. His face turns beat red as he slams the glass onto the table. Before I can open my mouth, Stella stops by with our order and sets the plates in front of us.
She eyes Reed with a frown. “You all right, honey?”
He nods vigorously, all the while pounding on his chest with his fist. I’m half
afraid he’s going to hack a lung with the way he’s carrying on.
Stella smacks him on the back with the flat of her hand. “I’ll get you another water. Be back in a jiffy.”
Reed doesn’t answer. Stella clucks her tongue before speed walking to the beverage station. A few customers in the nearby vicinity swivel in our direction to see what all the commotion is about.
Stella returns with a fresh glass of water for Reed. Her eyes shift between us. “You sure everything’s good over here?”
I nod and force a smile.
“Okay,” she mumbles. Thankfully, another table grabs her attention by waving her over, so there’s no time for her to loiter.
Once Stella departs, Reed sucks in a breath before slowly releasing it. Now that he’s no longer fighting for air, he glares at me. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not?” I shrug, trying to downplay the situation. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from him.
The tension cranks up between us. Needing something to occupy my fingers, I grab a chicken tender and dredge it through the honey mustard dipping sauce. I don’t realize my appetite has vanished until I bring the chicken to my lips. Instead of taking a bite, I nibble at the crunchy coating before returning it relatively untouched to my plate.
“Why not?” Reed repeats, grounding the words between clenched teeth. “So many reasons come to mind! Would you like me to list them?”
I wince and glance at the nearby tables and booths. Now that Reed has stopped coughing, no one is paying us any attention. Except Stella. She’s watching us like a hawk from behind the cash register. There’s a frown on her face and her eyes are narrowed as if she’s trying to solve an intricate puzzle.
Coming here was a mistake. I should have suggested a different restaurant. One on the other side of town. But in all fairness, this is the first time I’ve propositioned a guy for sex, so…
“Jeez! Can you please keep your voice down?” My cheeks feel like they’ve been set on fire.
Reed mutters something under his breath that I can’t quite make out. Although I’m pretty sure I get the gist of what he’s saying. He’s not happy that I’ve asked him to devirginize me.
That sounds awful. Like a painful medical procedure.
I shake my head. “I really thought you’d be on board with this.”
He pokers up on his seat as his scowl intensifies. “Why in the world would you think that?”
Isn’t it obvious? Do I really need to explain it?
“You’re something of an expert in that department.” I wave a hand in his direction. “If there’s anyone who should be able to help me out, it’s you. Sex is like,” I mentally grope for an ordinary task to compare it to, “brushing your teeth.” Maybe that’s a little too ordinary but I’m sure he gets where I’m going with this. “You don’t think twice about it. I need someone with that kind of attitude to get the job done.”
I didn’t think it was possible for the corners of his lips to sink any further. He doesn’t seem to be taking my words as the compliment it was meant to be.
“It’s hardly like,” his jaw tenses, “brushing your teeth.”
It takes everything inside me not to roll my eyes.
Seriously?
Exactly who is Reed trying to fool?
“Oh, come on! You probably don’t know the names of half the girls you’ve slept with or even how many of them there have been.” I raise a brow daring him to argue.
Reed presses his lips into a flat line before yanking his gaze away.
Before I can push the topic further, his eyes slice back to mine, pinning them in place. My throat closes, making it difficult to breathe.
“You’re right.” He leans forward, closing the distance between us. “I don’t know how many girls I’ve slept with or all of their names. Do you know why that is?” When I remain silent, he continues, his voice turning harsh. “Because none of them mattered. It was just two people getting off. That’s it. And every girl knows that. I’m not looking for a relationship, I’m looking for release.” He presses closer until his warm breath feathers across my lips. “But you’re different, Em. We’re friends. You matter.” He cocks his head. “That’s the difference.”
I swallow thickly and break eye contact as something warm expands in my chest. Unsure what to say, I grab a fry from my plate and roll it between my fingers. Neither of us have touched our dinners, which is a first. The food at Stella’s is delicious and Salisbury steak is Reed’s all-time favorite. If this were any other time, his plate would already be demolished and he’d be asking for dessert. Blueberry pie, to be specific. Instead, it sits untouched like mine.
Everything Reed admitted circles through my head. I’ve never thought about the situation from that perspective. I had assumed Reed wouldn’t have a problem sleeping with me because he’s had sex with so many girls. One more female added to an already lengthy list shouldn’t matter.
Apparently, that’s not the case.
In the past, when I’ve thought about having sex for the first time, I’ve pictured it with someone I’ve been seeing for a while. Someone I’m committed to. It’s such an intimate experience, I wanted it to be meaningful. And, as cliché as it sounds, special. Which is why I’ve always shied away from random hookups.
And yet, from what Reed revealed, the opposite is true for him. Sex is all about the physical and not the emotional. He’s looking for gratification. He doesn’t want a connection or a relationship with these girls.
Disappointed by his stance on the matter, I keep my gaze averted and swallow what’s left of my pride. “Will you at least think about it?”
When he fails to respond, I muster all of my courage and force myself to meet his eyes. The intensity of his stare sends a shiver scampering down my spine. It’s as if he’s stripped everything bare and is able to see straight down to my soul. It’s an uncomfortable sensation that leaves me feeling vulnerable and exposed.
“I don’t know.” A heavy silence falls over us before he grudgingly asks, “Aren’t you afraid sleeping together will ruin our friendship?”
I pick up the same fry I’ve been toying with for the last ten minutes and dredge it through the honey mustard sauce. My appetite is still MIA, but I need something to focus on rather than Reed who sits tensely across from me.
“Why would it?”
“Because it’s sex, Em.” He shakes his head and shoots me a pitying look. “You don’t understand what a big deal it is because you’ve never done it before.”
“Don’t do that.” I glare and drop the fry on my plate. Annoyance surges through my veins. It’s so much easier to deal with than the embarrassment. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid or naïve just because I haven’t slept my way through fraternity row.”
Reed blows out an exasperated breath. “That’s not what I meant. I just…” he slams his mouth shut as if unable to articulate his thoughts properly.
Agonizing minutes tick by that leave me fidgeting uncomfortably on my seat.
“I’m sorry,” he finally murmurs. “I’m at a loss for what to say. This entire conversation has thrown me.”
I jerk my shoulders, wishing I’d never brought up the subject. Clearly it was a mistake. “You’re making too big of a deal out of this.”
“Give me some time to think about it.”
I nod. What more is there to say?
If Reed won’t have sex with me, then I’m not sure what I’ll do.
Graduate from college a virgin?
It’s a depressing thought.
Chapter Seventeen
Reed
I’m in a shit mood when I slam into the house after my conversation with Emerson. To make matters worse, I didn’t get to enjoy my dinner. I glare at the doggie bag in my hand. Like I could eat a damn bite with Em sitting across from me, asking me to have sex with her.
I don’t think so.
The whole situation pisses me off.
Seriously, what the hell is that girl thinki
ng?
How could she even suggest we sleep together?
We can’t have sex!
It’s not that I don’t want to…
Because we all know that I do. I’d like nothing more than to slide my hard dick inside her tight—
Nope. Not gonna go there. Not even for a moment. The thought of having Em and her delectable body all to myself is much too dangerous to contemplate. My cock stiffens at the possibility.
And to be her first?
Fuuuuuuuuck.
That’s all I’ve got to say about that.
I shake my head to clear it of those unwanted thoughts. I should have told her no instead of chickening out and saying that I needed time to think about it. There can only be one answer.
And that answer is an unequivocal abso-fucking-lutely not.
Emerson may not understand that it would ruin our friendship, but I do. It would destroy everything good we have. You can’t have sex with a girl you care about and then jump back to being friends. It doesn’t work that way. Someone (probably me) is going to want more.
There’s a delicate balance that needs to be maintained. Especially with male/female dynamics. You throw off the equilibrium and everything will turn to shit before you can blink your eyes. And once that happens, there’s no going back.
Which is exactly why I stick to fooling around with chicks I have zero relationship with. There’s nothing to ruin because we never had anything in the first place.
But Em?
That girl is my everything. She’s the one person I refuse to lose.
Sure, I’ll man up and admit that I’ve been battling an attraction for her. But I’ve been able to keep it under control. Do you think that would be the case if we had sex?
Hell no.
I drag a hand over my face and head to the kitchen to put my doggie bag in the fridge. It’s doubtful that it’ll be there in the morning. One of these assholes will end up chowing it down in their inebriated state.
It’s very possible that the conversation at Stella’s has ruined Salisbury steak forever. How am I going to enjoy my favorite meal without being reminded of Emerson sitting across from me, a warm blush heating her cheeks, asking me to have sex with her?
Just Friends Page 10