Broken Heatbeats

by Lindsay Becs

“Congratulations on the win,” I tell him, rocking back on my heels, suddenly embarrassed that I stayed for him.

  “Thanks,” he replies, leaning back against the wall and lighting a cigarette. “You need a ride home?” he asks after taking a few drags.

  “I didn’t stay to bug you for a ride.”

  “I never said you did. I’m just offering. Don’t like the thought of you walking home in the dark after a rival game is all.”

  “Oh yeah? You worried about me, Ru?” I tease.

  Putting out his cig, he stands up straight then, and it’s the first time I’ve really taken in his height. I always knew he was tall, but standing this close to him, I barely reach his chest.

  “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

  “It’s no longer a question, huh?” I tease some more, following behind him as he walks out.

  We stop at his new car, a Pontiac GTO. He opens the door for me and gestures for me to get in. “It was never question, sweetheart.”

  I slide in and watch in fasciation as he closes my door and gets in the driver’s side. We ride in silence to my house. I fidget with my pompoms the whole way, wanting to talk to him but not knowing what to say.

  “Well, thanks,” I tell him once we get there. I go to open my door, but he stops me.

  “Wait,” he calls out, making me turn to look at him. “I’ll pick you up for school on Monday. I’m driving Betty Jo to school now. You’ll come with us.”

  I hold back the huge smile threatening to break across my face. “You aren’t asking again.”

  “I don’t ever ask, Susie.”

  “I guess I’ll see you Monday, Hunt.” I toss his nickname at him as I climb out of the car.

  “Only my friends call me Hunt.”

  “Well, only my friends call me Susie.”

  “I don’t want to be your friend, sweetheart,” he says, dropping the Susie this time.

  “Whatever you say, Ru. Thanks for the ride.”

  Turning to walk inside, I don’t look back but I hear him roll the window down and yell a “Goodnight, Susie sweetheart” at me.

  This boy…

  RU

  This girl.

  George was relentless when I met up with him after dropping off Susan after the game. There’s a pull to her that I can’t shake off. There’s this need to be close to her that is starting and I can’t keep away. No matter how much I know I should.

  That Monday was the beginning of a daily routine of driving my sister and Susie to school with me. I told my friends that my parents made me, but really, it was all me. And I was using my sister as an excuse to have Susie in my car.

  Most days I only drove them to school and they walked home after. But today, practice was cancelled since Coach’s wife went into labor with their fourth kid. I don’t see Betty Jo anywhere and decide to let it be.

  I can’t believe my luck when I spot Susie walking home by herself. Pulling up next to her, I roll down the window. “Get in, sweetheart.”

  “Rupert Hunter, you do not get to keep telling me what to do. And you need to stop calling me sweetheart,” she says with a gloved hand on her hip.

  “Well, beg my pardon,” I say with a hand over my heart. “Come on. It’s freezing. Get in. Please?” I ask through clenched teeth, surprised with what this girl is making me do.

  “Fine,” she huffs, climbing in and immediately rolling the window back up to keep the cold out. “What are you doing anyway? Don’t you have practice?”

  “Canceled. Mrs. Webster went into labor,” I tell her, then bite back a smile as I gun it and pull onto the snow-covered road, making us fishtail. She yelps in surprise, which makes me laugh. “Relax, Susie. It’s more fun when you let your body fall with the motion of the car.”

  Soon we’re in an empty parking lot where I introduce her to donuts, and I’m not talking about the kind you eat. Her girlish giggles and laughter are infectious, and by the time the car stops, we’re both panting from laughing so hard with tears in our eyes.

  “Oh, that was fun,” she says, laying her head back against the seat. Still smiling, she turns her head to look at me and I return her smile, liking how much I feel like I can relax and be myself with her.

  “I’ll take you home now.” I put the car back into gear and start to pull back onto the road, but she stops me.

  “Ru?” I turn to look at her again. “Are you really taking Linda to winter formal?”

  For the second time, I feel embarrassed with this girl. I nod and look down, not wanting to look her in the eye. Everyone knows why I’m taking Linda to the dance, and it doesn’t really have anything to do with dancing—at least not on the dance floor.

  “You can take me home now,” I hear her soft voice say.

  I keep my eyes forward as I oblige and take her home, not baring to look at her again on the drive. She gets out of my car and closes the door without another word spoken. A minute later, I look out the window just in time to see her walk inside her house. I hit the steering wheel, mad at myself for ruining a great afternoon with Susie.

  Chapter 4

  SUSAN

  I walk home after cheering at a rare Saturday morning basketball game, and I smile hearing my dad playing his guitar when I get to the porch. I pause to enjoy the music for a minute before walking inside. Hearing a second guitar begin to strum, I know he must be doing a lesson. I push open the door and stop in my tracks, the smile falling from my face when I see Ru sitting in my living room with my dad.

  “Hey, Susie,” Ru says with an ornery grin on his face.

  “Hey, Hunt,” I challenge. “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you played.”

  “Well, I don’t,” he chuckles, scratching his head. “At least not well. My parents got me this for Christmas and I’ve tried figuring it out myself, but I’ve been having some trouble. Pops talked to Mr. Mueller here and asked about giving me lessons.”

  “How nice.” I reply with pleasantry dripping with sarcasm.

  “Susan, how about getting us some lemonade?” my dad asks, and I wish like anything I could say no. Instead, I agree and head to the kitchen to pour them two glasses of lemonade and fill a plate with cookies Mom made yesterday.

  “Thanks, Susie,” Ru tells me, biting into a cookie and smiling at me.

  “My pleasure.” I continue with the sarcasm but get a look from my dad. “I’ll leave you two to it then.” I go to my bedroom and fall onto my bed. I’m such a stupid girl for thinking Ru and I could be anything more than him being the brother of my best friend.

  I continue to lie there on my bed and listen to them play for the next half hour. Ru isn’t half bad. But knowing him, he’d rather be playing rock ‘n’ roll instead of the hymn that Dad is teaching him. That thought makes me laugh.

  I really have to bite back my laughter when, a couple months later, Pastor Wells introduces him to the congregation. Ru takes the stage wearing a tie and his hair slicked back, looking like I’ve never seen him before.

  He sits and begins to strum the tune of “It Is Well with My Soul.” His brow pulls together in concentration as his fingers work the stings. I bite my lip thinking about how handsome he looks up there like that. I’m wringing my fingers in my lap, trying to get thoughts out of my mind that shouldn’t be there as I’m sitting in church.

  He finishes, and everyone nods as “Amens” and “Praise the Lords” call out from around the chapel. Standing to join his family again in their usual pew, he looks at me before sitting and gives me a wink. I feel my cheeks instantly burn red.

  Once service ends. I stand around the corner waiting for Ru to exit the chapel after every mother introduces their daughter to him like he doesn’t know each and every one of them already.

  “Ru!” I whisper-yell at him when he walks out.

  A big smile hits his face the second he sees me, and I can’t help the one that grows on my face too. Once he’s standing with me out of sight of everyone else, I smack his arm.

  “Hey! What was that
for?” he yelps, like it actually hurt him.

  “For winking at me in church of all places. You keep your winking problem to yourself,” I say, pointing up at him.

  He tries to hold in his laughter but fails. “Winking problem? Come on, Susie, you know I don’t toss those out to just any girl.”

  I roll my eyes. “Oh please, Hunt. Just don’t go doing that again. You hear me?”

  “Oh, I hear you,” he says with a smile. “But really, I think it was your bright red cheeks that drew the most attention,” he adds before winking, yet again, and walking away.

  I huff and smooth down the front of my dress before turning the corner to the front of the church and finding my parents to leave. I don’t miss the feeling of Ru’s eyes following me as I go, but I also don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing either.

  RU

  Just like every other Sunday night, I’m sitting in the living room with my family while we watch Bonanza on the television and eat popcorn. I give my parents enough grief throughout the week, but I make sure to be home on Sundays.

  The difference today is that I can’t stop thinking about Susan. The way she watched me play at church and then how her cheeks flamed after I winked at her. I never dreamed she’d get so mad, but gosh if that wasn’t adorable.

  In general, I can’t seem to get her out of my head. Not when I took Linda to the winter formal dance, not when I’m racing down Kellerman Road, and not when I’m working, whether on chores here at home or at the Gas N’ Go. And forget about school. I definitely can’t seem to keep my mind or eyes off her. I don’t know what it’s going to take, but I need to do something.

  When the show ends, Ma and Pops say goodnight to all of us, sending everyone to bed. Bobby is sleeping soundly on his bed across from mine. Reaching into my closet, I pull out a pack of smokes I have hidden there and slide the window open to smoke one.

  I close my eyes as the plume of smoke rises into the night sky, letting it relax me as I try to rid my thoughts of the girl with the golden eyes.

  It doesn’t work.

  Summer rolls around and, like usual, I’m frequently in trouble at home when I get in past curfew. Most nights I’m hanging with George and the boys down by the abandoned factory off Kellerman Road, where everyone meets to start a race. The nights when no one races, we still meet there to smoke and have a good time with our girls.

  Tonight, I brought Debra with me, but when she starts to get a little too eager to move to the backseat, I tell her it’s time to take her home. She scoffed, mad that I wasn’t giving her what she wanted. I’m sure it was just for bragging rights to her friends that she conquered The Hunter, but I wasn’t on the hunt tonight.

  Truth is I haven’t been for a while. I might take a girl out here and there, but as soon as I start to kiss her, all that goes through my mind is that I’d rather be kissing another girl I have no business thinking about.

  Dropping Debra off, I peel away from her house and race home, even though I was supposed to be home an hour ago. Turning the headlights off before I turn into the drive, I quietly close the car door and sneak in.

  I stop in my tracks when a lamp turns on as I shut the door behind me. “Rupert.” My pops says my name like a statement of disappointment. “Have you forgotten how to tell time, boy?” he asks me, not moving from his chair, where he sits with his hands clasped over his middle.

  “No, sir.”

  “Then explain to me what you are doing coming in an hour and—” he looks down at his watch to tell me the exact time— “twenty-two minutes late. Again.”

  “I got lost?” I say the poor excuse like a question, scratching my chin.

  He stands then, walking to me in a few steps. He’s a tall man, built and solid, but I’m still taller than him at my recently measured height of six foot four. “Bed. Now. Tomorrow you are helping me in the field and garden.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I’ll see you at six in the morning in the barn. Not a minute later.”

  “Understood.”

  “Get to bed.”

  “Goodnight, Pops,” I tell him, turning toward my room and trying my best not to wake my baby brother.

  Lying back on my bed, my mind keeps running with thoughts of the girl I can’t have but how much I’d like to make her mine.

  It feels like my eyes just closed when my alarm sounds, waking me up to start a day of working outside with my pops. And it’ll be a miserable day, I’m sure. He never makes it easy when I have extra chores as punishment on top of my normal daily ones.

  My day perks up a little bit when I look over to see Susan with Betty Jo lying on a blanket in the fresh cut grass. Not able to keep my feet where they’re supposed to be, I walk over to where they are. Looking down at them, sweat drips down my nose and lands on my sister’s arm.

  “Ew! Gross, Ru! Go away!” Betty Jo yells, quickly wiping her arm as I laugh and sit down next to them.

  Susan is trying to hold back her laughter when she asks, “You thirsty? You can have a drink of Coke if you want.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart,” I say, taking the glass bottle from her. My eyes don’t leave hers as I tip it back and take a swig. Pulling it from my lips, I lick them. “Mmm… tastes good,” I say with a wink, handing back the bottle.

  I stand to head back to the job I’ve yet to finish. I look back at the girls to see Susan watching me. I give her a smile and another wink for good measure, making me laugh when she falls back down on the blanket in a dramatic fashion.

  Yep. My day just got a little brighter.

  Chapter 5

  SUSAN

  It’s another new school year and thankfully Betty Jo and I made the cheer squad again. We’re at the pep rally today, where everyone is going ape for the football team. Mostly Ru when he swaggered into the gym with his big grin that every girl goes crazy for. It’s his senior year, making him the real star of the show now.

  He’s still Ru though. He still makes a point to wink at me any time he sees me. I’ve gotten used to it by now and brush it off as him just messing with me, but it doesn’t stop the butterflies in my stomach from flying around either.

  As expected, the Panthers win the game, giving them an undefeated season so far. Tonight, I’m staying the night with Betty Jo, and we get a ride back with her family afterward.

  We’re in her room laughing hysterically when I start to cough uncontrollably. She offers to get me a glass of water, but I wave her off and go to fetch my own glass. Between laughing and coughing, I have tears streaming down my face and can hardly see where I’m going when I walk right into someone.

  “You alright, Susie sweetheart?” Ru asks, sounding concerned as he quickly takes me by the elbow, guiding me into the kitchen and sitting me down in a chair. He hands me a glass of water a second later and squats in front of me to rub my back in an effort to help calm my coughing.

  “Thank you,” I say after my hysterics settle down.

  “You sure you’re alright?” he asks me again, still looking concerned. It makes me soften a little seeing him like this. Caring and kind.

  “I am.” I smile at him genuinely. He returns my smile with a sweet one of his own, and I know his is just as genuine this time and not the same one he paints on for everyone else.

  He pulls me to stand with him, his hand in mine, and I don’t miss the warmth in it. “Come with me.”

  I tilt my head to the side. “You’re telling me what to do again.” He shrugs unapologetically. “I can’t leave Betty Jo like that.”

  He considers my words for a few seconds. “Meet me here after she goes to sleep.”

  “I don’t know…” I start feeling uneasy, yet want to see what he’s up to.

  “Please?” His face softens in sincerity, and I can’t say no to that. I nod and quickly pull my hand from his and walk back to my friend.

  Hours later, when I’m sure Betty Jo is sleeping, I slip out of her bed and walk to the door. Looking back at her, I feel like I’m betraying my be
st friend, but my heart is telling me to go to Ru.

  Walking into the kitchen, I see a figure leaning against the counter in the dark. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

  “I wasn’t sure I’d come either,” I admit, feeling my heart hammering in my chest.

  He takes my hand for the second time tonight and walks me to the door. “My shoes!” I whisper-yell when I see him pull the door open to go outside.

  “You don’t need ‘em,” he tells me, still pulling me out the door.

  We walk across the yard to the barn out back, and when we get to a ladder leaning against the side, he stops. “Hop on my back.”

  “Are you crazy?!” I exclaim, looking down at my nightgown, which I’m suddenly very aware of.

  “Just get on,” he tells me, sounding annoyed, and I reluctantly do as he says, jumping on his back when he bends his knees to make it easier for me. I laugh when I wrap my arms around his neck and hear him mock choke.

  He begins to climb up the ladder with me on his back, and when we get to the roof, he continues walking without putting me down. I feel surprisingly safe in his arm, or on his back rather. With more finesse than I possess, he pulls me from his back to sit next to him on the roof.

  He lights up a cigarette and offers one to me, but I shake my head no. Leaning back on his hands, he stares up at the sky and I mimic his position, our hands next to one another but not touching. He finishes his cig, putting it out on his shoe and tucking it back in his pack.

  “I want to hold your hand,” he says out of nowhere. I inhale sharply and turn to look at him. He looks conflicted. “I know I shouldn’t.” He drops his head to look down. “I can’t stop thinking about you, but I know I’m no good for you, Susie.”

  “Why don’t you let me worry about what’s good for me?”

  He snorts a laugh and looks at me then. “I’m taking Linda to the homecoming dance.”