by TC Matson
I place my hand on top of hers. My heart begins slapping my chest. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” I say. Although I’m keeping focused on the water, in my peripheral, I see her head swing my way. I squeeze her hand. “I don’t want the booty calls, the cock calls, or any type of calls anymore.”
She starts to pull her hand back, but I tighten my grip. “In the process of us, I…”
The words are stuck. I try a different angle. “I don’t want to lose you.”
I let her hand go to wipe my palms. “This is going to get really awkward if you don’t talk to me.” I finally shift my view to her. “I need in that head of yours.”
“When I saw you with her, I thought I had lost you and it hurt,” she says and then goes back to chewing her lip.
“I wish you had come to me. Candice is nothing more than a sister to me. She’s Whitney’s best friend. Plus, she’s been really excited to meet you.”
Her brows pinch together with confusion. “You told her about me?”
I chuckle. “Who haven’t I told about you?”
I love you—there’s a lot of power in those words with multiple meanings. I’ll gain strength by giving her the knowledge that she owns my heart, but it’s petrifying. It’s for sure, the scariest thing in my life.
“Eight weeks ago, I didn’t want a thing. Not a relationship. Not a girlfriend. Nothing. Eight weeks ago, I experienced the best sex in my life with you. We made our rules. We knew where we stood. Somehow the path switched for me. I told you I wasn’t a liar. I never lie. But I’ve been sitting here lying to myself by denying everything.”
Her eyes are latched on mine. She’s not chewing her lip anymore. I’m her main focus without any distractions.
“I’m fucking crazy over you and if you want the truth, I’m madly in love with you,” I manage to say without choking. “I don’t expect you to feel the same. You’ve been adamant about what I am and what we are, which is why I’ve kept it to myself. I figured I could hide it and keep you in my life, but when you left…” I shake my head. “That week and a half was fucking hell. I don’t know what I’m doing. Everything I feel for you is pretty paralyzing, but I needed you to know that you’re more than just sex to me. I’ve wanted so much more.”
She drops her view. “I’ve allowed my past to haunt me. It’s been a nagging burden and it causes me to fight everything.” Her voice shakes. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you. I fought it so hard trying to remind myself of every reason why I shouldn’t, but you wouldn’t let me.”
“Are you saying…”
“I love you, too.”
I exhale the breath I’ve been holding. Relief pulls my shoulders down and my heart starts beating again.
“We’ve been falling for each other this whole time…alone?” Those are some ugly words if you think about it.
She blows incredulity with her laugh under her breath and then nods.
Tucking a finger under her chin, I pull her face up to look at me. “Do you still have feelings for him?”
“No.” Her tone carries conviction. “I wasn’t fighting this feeling because of how I feel for him. I fought it because of how I felt afterward. All the heartache and all the pain…I never want to relive that.”
I kiss her, pulling her closer to me by the back of her head. This time I allow everything I feel for her to pour out. Fuck. The passion is unreal.
She pulls me, keeping our mouths molded together as she lays back. I rock against her and she moans into my mouth, driving me fucking insane.
“Please don’t be scared with me,” I pant against her lips. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’m going to adore you.”
She wraps her arms around my shoulders and brings me closer, deepening the kiss. It’s passionate, ignited by love. I’m done with the sensitive shit. I need to feel her wrapped around my dick.
I break the kiss to tear off her jeans and get out of mine before lowering myself to her entrance and thrusting forward. Instantly, white lights burst behind my eyes. She tosses her head back and moans. I drag in and out, pumping fiercely. Her mewls become louder. Her pussy tightens around my cock.
I watch her, staring into her eyes as she loses it. Unspoken emotions are exchanged between us. My chest constricts so hard it feels like it’s going to explode. I gyrate and grind in, my ending closing in.
I drop to my elbow. “I love you, Jolie,” I growl and bury into her.
Nestled between her legs, my cock throbbing inside of her, I’ve found heaven.
Chapter 22
It’s been a few days since Kyce and I crossed the “I love you” threshold. I still can’t believe we were both holding those feeling in, scared to open up, for so long. Not much has changed, except we talk more. I want to start spending more time with him because who doesn’t want fantastic sex anytime, anywhere, all the time?
He’s made me into a nympho…
There is a sense of newness to our relationship, a priority so to speak. We’re learning one another on boyfriend-girlfriend grounds rather than just sex. His favorite color is blue, which I already gathered from his house. Our taste of music is the same. But one thing I’ve learned quickly, he’s protective in a sweet way and he reserves a softer side for me in private—something I really like.
I’m elbow deep in work thinking of him.
He’s my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.
I can’t help but grin.
“Are you watching porn? No one should smile that much at work.”
His voice surprises me and I jerk up to see Kyce standing in the doorway. His broad shoulders make the area look smaller.
“Well, yeah. I’m bored,” I quip. “What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?”
He pans my office, taking it all in before his eyes land on the 3D image of a motorcycle bursting through the wall, sending bricks everywhere, behind me.
“It was here before me. I liked it, so I kept it,” I inform him.
Instead of sitting in the chair across from my desk, he drops his shoulder on the wall beside me. He looks happy, but there’s a hint of sadness. “I took half the day off. Normally, I go to all of my brother’s or Carter’s fights, but this time I was planning on skipping out. Ryker caught wind and this morning asked me to come. Well, demanded I do. I wanted to see you before I left.”
A group of mechanics have gathered outside of my office window studying Kyce. Their mouths move, eyes unlatching. Two of the guys look back to the poster of Ryker and then back to Kyce. I round the desk and draw the blinds closed.
Kyce hums. “Unless you have better things on your mind…”
“You have an audience,” I tell him.
If it bothers him, he doesn’t show him. “Can I take you to lunch?”
“I don’t take lunch until two.”
He scoffs. “Two? That’s almost quitting time.”
His words creep back in. Leaving? “How long are you going to be gone?”
He swallows, glancing back to the huge picture on the wall, but my brother calls out first.
“What’s all the excitement about?” Jordon enters the office, his gaze landing on Kyce. He squares up his shoulders and I almost want to laugh. My brother is large, but he’s definitely not Kyce’s size.
Kyce pushes off the wall and tips his chin. “What’s up?”
Tension settles into the air.
“Kyce, right?”
A little tic plays on my boyfriend’s lips and his view darts to me quickly before sticking his hand out to Jordon. “Yeah.”
Jordon shoves his hand into Kyce’s, giving it a few pumps. “You always create a crowd when you go places?”
“Unfortunately, sometimes yes. I resemble my brother,” Kyce tells him.
“Jolie told me about that. I’m Jordon, by the way. Her brother.” The emphasis on the word “brother,” like a warning.
“Nice joint you’ve got.” Kyce looks around.
“Worked hard for it. Best place around.” Jordon looks to me, a silent que
stion asking if I’m alright in his gaze. I give him a nod and small smile. “I’ll go handle the paparazzi in the shop.”
“Nice to meet you,” Kyce says.
“Yeah, man,” Jordon’s halfway out the door before he turns around. One fist at his side, a finger pointed at Kyce, and a dead serious expression. “You do her wrong and I’ll fucking kill you.”
Kyce’s brows jump high, pulling a smug and very alpha smirk to rest on his lips. “No worries, man.”
When Jordon disappears, Kyce pulls me off my ass and into a hug. “Will it make you mad if I tell you your brother doesn’t intimidate me?”
“Don’t let his calm nature fool you. He knows people who can make you disappear.”
He grins before bending and brushes his lips across mine. “Take lunch early.”
The smallest touch from him always sends my mind into a frantic scramble. Words don’t come easy. It’s as if he steals my cognitive abilities and it annoys the fuck out of me that he has that much control.
“I have to ask,” finally finds its way out of my mouth.
He pats my ass and sends me out the door.
Jordon tells me to be back by one since he has a conference call. Kyce ends up takings me to a small diner close by. Our lunch is fun and flirty without any talk of the big subject looming. While we discussed what our days were like, Kyce clearly treading on what he tells me, I torture him under the table, running my hand over his dick. A lot of his sentences got side-tracked and he growled through them, but I knew he told me he was leaving and I wanted to give him a reason to miss me.
On the way back to the office, he’s quiet but his expression is playful. Suddenly, he yanks his Tahoe into a parking lot and parks toward the back, under a tree.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
The look that lands on me bursts my panties into flames. I clinch my thighs together to try to extinguish the fire.
“I’ve got something to give you.”
He slides from the front, bouncing off the seats as he drops into the back seat. He reaches, yanking me into the back with him. I’m straddling him, my legs on both sides of his thighs. His fingers drag through my hair, fisting it. He nips my chin.
“All that fucking playing at the restaurant. You think you could tease me and I walk away?” he rasps.
I bite my lip. “You said you were leaving. I figured I’d give you a reason to miss me.”
He flinches. “You think I wouldn’t miss you? Fuck, Jolie. I miss you when I’m at home.”
His tongue drags from the bottom of my throat and under my chin. I glance around.
“My windows are black,” he offers as if he could read my mind. “So as long as you’re not too loud while you fuck me, no one will pay us any attention.”
By my hair, he pulls me to his lips, claiming my mouth. His tongue plunges in, a growl in the back of his throat as he kisses me wildly.
I yank at his pants, unbuttoning them, and he shimmies out freeing his hard and large dick. I stand as much as I can and wobbly step out of my pants before moving back to his lap. Lifting, I line him up and sink down slowly.
He releases a hiss as a moan escapes me and I still.
Looking him in the eyes, I cup his face. “How long will you be gone?”
“Three to four days.”
My heart drops.
I pull my face to his, and he kisses me softly, flexing his hips under me. “Fuck me, beautiful.”
I do. I take out all my fears, all my anger that he’s leaving, all my feelings on him. Jamming his hand under my shirt, he squeezes my tits a little too hard, but the sting is welcomed. I ride him, rocking and rolling my hips, silently begging him not to leave. This will be something new and honestly, I’m scared of it.
The familiar sizzle only he can bring out of me begins to move through my limbs. He juts upward and I hiss, wincing as he hits spots only he’s been able to reach. Having a well-endowed man has its pros and cons. On one hand, his size stretches and amplifies everything. On the other, too deep is just too fucking deep.
But he always does something magical to avert the pain, whether he pinches my nipple or squeezes the hell out of my hips. It always eases…
“I love you fucking me,” he pants, an urgency in his tone. “You’re going to have to hurry up. I’m about to fucking explode.”
I grab his face, looking down into his eyes as I grind hard. His eyes are dark and heavy and beginning to roll. He grits his teeth, the muscles in his jaw tensing and his nostrils flaring. Suddenly, I’m seized by a rush of euphoria and I’m catapulted into my orgasm. I cry out and he jerks my mouth to his, swallowing my mewl.
He thrusts upward, forcing me to bounce on his lap. Sounds of skin slapping echo through his truck and then a beautiful sound. His growl. It vibrates under my body and into my mouth. His breath becomes ragged keeping his lips fused to mine. And I don’t know if it’s to quiet me or him anymore.
Together we come.
Together we fall.
We still, holding onto each other like our lives depend on it. He stirs and his eyes flutter open.
“You make goodbyes hard,” I tell him.
He puffs a breath. “You make my dick hard.”
The final leg back to the office was quiet. The air around us has shifted into something more…weighty. He pulls into the side parking lot and shifts his truck into park.
“I’ll text you when I get there.” It’s the sweetest offer. He clutches my hand and kisses the back of my knuckles. “Want to hear something pretty fucked up?”
My yes comes in the form of an arched brow.
“I’ve always enjoyed going. The atmosphere. The adrenaline. The fights. But this time, I’m having to convince myself to go.”
I kiss him softly. “Go support and be all macho, or whatever you do there. I’ll be here when you get back.”
“When I get back, plan on spending the night with me.”
“And if I don’t?”
Amused but dead serious, he smirks. “I’d like to see you pick me up out of your bed then.”
I laugh. “Be careful. I love you.”
Those words seem to wrap themselves in his mind. Maybe his heart. He has a glow when I say them and truthfully, there’s a glow from within me when I say it.
“Love you too,” he whispers.
Chapter 23
“I can’t believe you,” Scarlett scoffs. “You’re lost.”
I laugh. “I am not.”
“What have you done in the past two days other than wander around like a lost puppy? Nothing. That’s what.” She sits beside me on the couch and pats my leg. “Talk to me.”
“He makes me feel weak,” I admit. “All my insecurities creep into my thoughts and I worry. I trust him. I do. I just…” I don’t even know anymore.
“Let it go, Jo. He’s a different breed of man. He has morals and integrity. And he’s totally into you.”
Something horrible is happening. My eyes burn. Water begins to pool. “Chris really fucked me up, huh? I’ve noticed it more since getting with Kyce.”
She gives my thigh a squeeze. “First step is to recognize the problem.”
“I was blindsided, and now I’m scared of it happening again. Especially being as happy as I am. I’ve never been this happy, Scar. All this is new. All these feelings I have. It’s scary as fuck.”
She beams. “Yet so exhilarating. You’re in love, Jolie. Falling deeper and deeper every day. This time, though, it’s different for you. After you experienced devastation, you took time for you. You found you. You focused on you. You were your number one priority instead of another man. Now that you’ve found you…You know what you want, Jo. What you’ll put up with. And for once, you can love wholly because you put your heart back together.”
Her words ignite empowerment within me. I nod.
“You’re amazing in more ways than one. I’ve never told you, but you’re awe-inspiring. You dealt with life as it was being thrown at you and ripped away at
the same time. You didn’t lie down and become a victim. You stood up. You’re Wonder Woman, Jo.”
I snigger.
“Now think of the real love you can experience. You know what fake feels like. You won’t allow it again.”
I sigh and break into a smile. “You’re good for my ego.”
She fluffs her hair off her shoulders. “Yeah. I know. Now, I’ve got a pizza and a movie. Let’s enjoy it.”
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like an old mobster movie to lift anyone’s spirits. How Scarlett knew is beyond me, but I could kiss her face as I watch Ray Liotta become enamored by the mob and then work his way deeper into the family while ruining his marriage. Fucking Henry. He had a good wife, but he blew it, and if I was his wife, I would’ve shot him in the fucking face.
My phone chirps.
Kyce: Why are you on my mind right now?
Jolie: Aren’t you supposed to be doing macho stuff?
Kyce: I’m macho thinking about you. What are you doing?
Jolie: Watching Goodfellas.
Kyce: Great movie. You like old mobster movies like that?
Jolie: Yeah.
Kyce: Fuck you’re perfect.
Kyce: It’s going to be late when I get back to the hotel. I won’t bother you. Good night.
Jolie: Good luck.
Scarlett kicks my foot. “Take a picture of your face. It’s the perfect reminder why you shouldn’t fret on the past but look forward to your future. You’re madly in love, girl. And it looks good on you.”
I bite my lip feeling stupidly embarrassed.
Jolie: I love you.
It’s almost twenty minutes later when Kyce returns my text and tells me he loves me too.
Exhilarating… That’s not a strong enough word.
“Scar?”
“Hmmm?” She peels her eyes off the screen.
“Thank you. My insecurities aren’t worth giving a second thought to. I promise my past won’t hold me back anymore.”
Her face lights up.
“Also, keep tonight between us. You know, I have a strong reputation to keep up. No need for a slip-up to make its rounds.”