Michael looked into Stern’s unsmiling face. He slumped down in his chair, looking at his feet and shaking his head.
“Harry, don’t look so sad. You played well, and I compliment you,” Michael said, leaning toward him. “You took most of my pieces.”
“Yes, but your en passant move was unexpected. I didn’t know what to make of it, until I realized it contributed to my demise.”
His demise? It will come.
“You’re a very good player, Michael. I played against many men in Bavaria and won almost all the games and I have never lost two games in a row to anyone. Never!”
“Where did you play in Bavaria?” Michael asked.
“In the countryside with the other farmers.”
“I see. I’m sure they were tough to beat. You were fortunate to sit out the war.”
“I had no choice. It was either work on the farm and provide the necessary food for the army, or I would have been taken into service. I would never be a Nazi!”
“No, I’m sure. I saw a movie about what happened after the war a few nights ago. It was Judgment at Nuremberg. Have you seen it?”
“Yes, I did when it first came out about eight or nine years ago. Would you like to play another game?”
“Uh, sure. So, what did you think of the movie?”
Stern hesitated. “Do you want me to be honest?”
“Yes, of course. We’re friends.”
“I think it was slanted against the prisoners. The German judges were only doing their job.”
“Including Ernst Janning?”
“Yes, of course. He was supposed to be Schlegelburger, who was a fair judge and was the man who wrote the constitution for the Weimer Republic.”
“Yes, but he sent a lot of people he knew were innocent to their death and many others for anti-Semitic reasons.”
“Yes, it is true. There were laws that related to Jews, laws of the land, Michael. A judge does not make the laws. He only upholds them, just as judges do here in America. It’s no different.”
“You don’t think what the judges did were crimes against humanity?”
“No,” Stern said adamantly.
“Are there no unjust laws?” Michael asked.
“It’s not for a judge to say. In every country, a judge must follow the laws of his land, and for him not to do so would mean he was not fulfilling his obligations.”
“So, sending people to their deaths or to concentration camps based on cruel laws against humanity was acceptable?”
Stern started sweating. He squirmed and spoke in a low voice, barely audible.
“A judge must do what he feels is just,” he uttered. “We live in a civilized society, and I had no knowledge of the existence of concentration camps when I lived on the farm in Bavaria.”
“I see, but you saw pictures of them.”
“I did, after the war. I could not believe it. I’m still not sure if it ever...”
Michael looked at Stern. Sweat glistened on his cheeks and forehead, where it filled the lines of his furrowed brow. Michael stopped talking. He felt he might have gone too far in this discussion and may risk losing Stern’s friendship if Stern felt he was being baited. It was still too early for Michael to make his next move. He backed away from further conversation.
“We’re being too serious,” Michael said with a smile. “Let’s have another drink, Harry.”
“Something cold, please.”
Michael brought out two Bock beers. Stern looked more relaxed.
“Ahh, a nice German beer. Now all we need is some schnitzel.” Stern smiled.
“Come on, Harry, we don’t have the schnitzel, but we’ll have some of Hilda’s Linzer tortes. I’m not sure they go well with beer.”
“Everything goes with beer, even Linzer tortes,” Stern said with a slight snicker.
“Mmm, these are good.” Michael bit into a torte filled with raspberry jam and rolled his eyes with delight. “Let’s play another game!”
Michael saw the excitement in Stern’s eyes. He wiped his brow, made the first move, and took the lead by capturing many of Michael’s pieces, including his queen. Michael kept the game where he wanted it to be. Only he would decide who would win and who would lose. It reminded him of the concentration camp. When the prisoners arrived, one Nazi would decide who would live and who would die. Some were sent to the left and others to the right. The ones who went to the left, the children and elderly, went straight to the gas chambers.
Michael and Hans were into the endgame in the chess match until Michael intentionally made a move that would cost him the game.
“Finally, a victory!” Stern exclaimed, raising his arms. “I was beginning to think I had met my match.”
“You played well, Harry. I tried to checkmate you earlier, but without my queen, rooks, and bishops, you made it impossible. Then you got me with your knights and queen. I didn’t see it coming. You are a remarkable player.”
“Well, it is two to one. We must play again.”
“Yes, of course. I’m sorry that I brought up the war. It might be a sore spot for you.”
“Not at all, my friend. Feel free to always ask me anything you want to know.”
“Thank you for saying that. I will. I don’t know anyone who lived in Germany during the war.”
“I’m from Bavaria.”
“Isn’t that part of Germany?”
“Yes, it is a state in Germany, but I like to think of it as disconnected because of its historical borders as a kingdom. So, I usually say I’m from Bavaria.”
They shook hands and said goodnight.
Chapter 10
The Chemist’s Shop was operating at a significant profit due to the professionalism of the staff. Michael had also accumulated quite a bit of money from his teaching pension and from sales of textbooks he had written.
He had his breakfast, read the Saturday newspaper, and thought about a few things that were on his mind. He wanted the pharmacy to continue helping people in the unlikely event that something would go wrong between him and Stern. Michael made an arrangement with Dan to transfer ownership of the pharmacy to him if Michael was unable to continue working. Anything could happen, Michael thought.
The next day, August 2, was a Sunday, and the pharmacy was closed. Michael showered and let the hot water run over his back to ease the chronic pain he felt as the result of the hard kick by a Nazi’s boot. Walking helped his discomfort, so he took a short drive to Neahwa Park. He walked with his shoulders back and stomach tucked in, breathing the sweet country air.
The park was filled with activity on this sunny, summer day. Young children tumbled on the grass under the watchful eyes of their mothers. One group of teenagers passed a Frisbee among them as the breeze rustled the leaves on the tall trees
A woman sat on a bench in the distance. He didn’t see who she was at first, but when he got closer, he recognized Hilda Sanders. She lifted her hand from her lap, offered a thin smile, and gave him a brief wave.
She was slim, about sixty, with short, graying brown hair that peeked over her forehead. She had dark circles under her sorrowful eyes.
“Mrs. Sanders, it’s a beautiful day. I am glad to see you out enjoying it.”
“Professor Ross, it is nice to see you here too.”
“May I sit beside you?”
“Yes, yes, of course. I do not know if you remember me. I mean, it was a large auditorium with so many people, but I attended your lecture class, Introduction to Biology, at the Adult Education Center.”
“Wonderful. I hope you found it to be a good learning opportunity. I didn’t know you were interested in biology.”
“Actually, I was not, but you taught my friend’s two sons at the university. They told me that they looked forward to your classes in pharmacology and said you were the best teacher they ever had. I had to see for myself. The only available class you taught for adults was biology. I thought it might be interesting and signed up for it. After your first lecture, I,
too, looked forward to attending more of them.”
“Thank you for your kind comments. What did your husband think of you going?”
“He never knew. It would upset him. He liked me to stay at home and cook his meals. We eat together but never talk. I’m glad your lecture took place at a time when Harry played chess with a friend who now lives in Albany.”
Michael smiled.
“Teaching is always a learning experience for me as well as the students. What did you think about the lectures? Did it arouse your interest in plants and animals?
“I cannot say I understood everything, but I enjoyed your talks on evolution.”
“I’m glad you did. Darwin presented our civilization with a wonderful gift. And how is Mr. Sanders?”
“He is well. I know he plays chess with you. He is a very good player. I mean, that is what he has told me. I do not know this game. I know it is very complicated.”
“Yes, it is, but your husband won the last match. Thank you for those wonderful Linzer tortes. I had one this morning with my coffee.”
“You are welcome. Baking is one of my few pleasures. I am usually alone and have few interests. I know that we’ve only known each other for a short time, but I am from Europe, and I have high regard for anyone who is a professor. Dr. Ross, my husband is not the person you think he is.”
Michael’s ears perked up. Was she going to tell him the truth about her husband? That he was a Nazi officer at Auschwitz? That he killed people? He didn’t want to hear anything about that. Michael wasn’t supposed to know and didn’t want her to tell him, fearing that it might interfere with his plan for revenge. He thought of excusing himself, telling her he had to continue his walk, but leaving now would be too abrupt, too unnatural, and she might sense that he already knew the truth, that her husband was a Nazi SS officer.
“Well, Mrs. Sanders, that’s the way it is with people. We’re not always what we appear to be. Many of us have inner lives that we don’t talk about, but let’s discuss you.”
“Yes, that is what I wanted to talk about, me. You are a professor and a learned man. I don’t mean to take up your time, but…”
“Please, Mrs. Sanders, you can talk to me about anything.”
“Thank you for telling me that. My marriage is not a good one. It never was. My husband has been cruel to me in many ways. I have to express my feelings to someone I respect. I knew it was all wrong even before we were married, but I was young and came from a poor family.”
“I’m so sorry. Where did you grow up?”
“In Hamburg, Germany.”
“I see. So you married him because you thought he could give you a better life?”
“Yes. Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you these things, but I trust you and I know what I say will stay between us.”
“Yes, of course,” Michael said sympathetically. “What you say is up to you, Mrs. Sanders. I know that sometimes I need someone to talk to and express some of my deeper feelings with. For me, getting things out to a person who is understanding makes me feel better.”
“Ahh, so it would be a good thing then,” Hilda replied. “From our wedding night, and all our years together, he was brutal. He hit me and did other things that I cannot say. I was going to leave him, run away, and go anywhere I could hide. Life with Hans is unbearable.”
“Hans?” Michael asked
“Yes. That is his real first name. Many Germans changed their names because of the war.”
“I can understand that. So, I take it you didn’t run away.”
“No, I didn’t run. I had my six-year-old daughter, Marlena, to think of. Then one day, just before the end of the war, Hans brought Erika to me. She was less than a month old and such a pretty baby. She needed my care because Hans told me her mother died in childbirth and her father had been killed in battle. I was happy to be a mother to this little orphan and it was a good feeling.” Mrs. Sanders wiped away her tears.
“So, things were better for you?”
“Better? No.” She looked down at her knees. “Well, I thought things would be better, but Hans was distant and we didn’t talk much, and after a while he didn’t bother me anymore. You know what I mean?” Hilda looked at Michael and then whispered, “For sex.” She hung her head again and continued her story.
“I was grateful for that because he was such a cruel man. We never had a loving relationship. There was never any affection of any kind. I just went about my household duties, took care of my girls, and pretended we were a normal family.
“What I learned…and I’m sorry to have to tell you this, professor. Never, never have I told anyone, but the pain I feel is ripping my heart apart, and I will not carry his secrets to my grave.” Hilda sighed, took a deep breath, and spoke slowly with her eyes closed and her head bowed.
“Hans had been raping little Erika since she was twelve. Many times. I knew nothing of this and she said nothing until she cried out her words to me when she was eighteen and left home.” Michael felt pity for this grieving woman.
“I’m so sorry. You don’t have to go on. I would never have guessed your husband was so cruel. He didn’t give me that impression. But where is Erika now?”
“She never returned home and lives alone in New York City and talks to none of us, not even her sister, but she has a gift. She is a ballerina and dances with the New York City Ballet. I am glad her life is filled with music, the classics, things Hans had little interest in. I feel so much guilt for not knowing what he was doing to her. She is so beautiful with her dark hair and fair skin, unlike Marlena, who is blonde and blue-eyed. I’m sad that Erika never smiles.” Hilda wiped away more tears.
“That is a tragic story. No mother should have to live with that pain. I never would have guessed that about Harry.”
“No one does. He has lived a double life in ways I cannot tell you. If I did ever say anything about certain things, he would kill me for sure. I would be dead. Maybe it would be a good thing.” She sighed. “I would be at peace. Erika will not see me, and Marlena is married to a Jew. They have two sons, our grandchildren, who my husband does not allow me to see because they are Jew babies. There are times I want to swallow all my sleeping pills.”
“That would be terrible. You’d have to take at least thirty at once, and that’s not easy to do. But it would take that many, or you might just end up in a coma. Mrs. Sanders, you’ve said enough. You don’t have to go on. I am so sorry you had these tragedies in your life.”
“Sometimes, I just want to die,” Hilda said with tears flowing down her cheeks. “Is that wrong? Is it really a sin? To take your own life? If it is, I won’t do it. What do you think about this?”
“It’s not a sin. Sometimes we have to do whatever is necessary to take us out of a bitter life that is so bad that it’s not worth living. I’m a very religious man and, under the circumstances, I don’t think, in your case, it would be a sin. A person may truly find a better life after death. I believe in Heaven.”
“I know you’re a learned man, Professor Ross. I did not know you were religious too. Thank you.”
“It was my pleasure to talk to you today. I am so sorry your husband took your life away. I feel your pain. Whatever we talked about will stay with me. Please take care of yourself.”
If she attempts to take her life, I hope she succeeds. Ilona had to take hers because of Stern.
Michael continued walking, then began to sprint until he came to a wooded area, where he sat with his back against a tree and looked up at the cloudless sky. Thoughts of Ilona and his little girls filled his mind and heart. They were alive within him. He reflected on his wedding day, a fairytale come true.
***
It was 1934. Europe was restless and so was I. This was to be a happy day in my life, but I couldn’t control my thoughts. I heard rumors that a concentration camp was constructed at a place called Dachau, where political prisoners, mostly Catholic, were exposed to cruelty and torture. I was worried. Rumors of German troops marchin
g into the Rhineland in violation of the Treaty of Versailles were everywhere, but it was our wedding day and love filled our hearts.
We waited so long to marry and have each other for life. Now that my education was complete, there were no further obstacles. I had my doctorate and was offered a wonderful position at the local university. Ilona looked beautiful and radiant as a bride. She wore her mother’s white satin wedding dress, which had a string of colorful country flowers embroidered on the top. We were finally bride and groom and the center of attention.
After the ceremony at the synagogue, our families, friends, and everyone in the entire village danced around us in the countryside to the sound of violins and cimbalom. Ilona and I gazed deep into each other’s eyes as we danced and shared our look of love. I was filled with joy knowing our hearts beat as one and that Ilona was mine forever.
Chapter 11
Michael awoke drenched in sweat, shaking and gasping for breath, as he recovered from a horrible nightmare.
In his dream, Magda and Roza were already twenty and dancers for the Hungarian National Ballet Company. As the sad but beautiful ballet Romeo and Juliet was about to begin, every seat was filled with people dressed in black uniforms and brown leather straps across their chests. Ilona, Michael, and Eva sat spellbound by Magda and Roza’s performance and clapped along with the audience as they watched them and the other dancers pirouette their way through the music.
When the ballet ended, the dancers bowed and, with darkened faces, accepted bouquets of black roses. Then the entire audience disappeared in a flash. Only Michael, Ilona, and Eva lingered. They stood on their feet, clapping and yelling, “Bravo,” as the twins stood in front of the stage, gave their final bows, and then danced off toward spirals of black smoke. Eva jumped out of her seat and, with a tattered rose in her hand, dashed to join them. Michael turned toward Ilona, but she was gone too. Only he remained in the theater. The lights dimmed, leaving him alone in the darkness.
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