by Kari Trumbo
Daisy glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and held her hands together in her lap. The slight breezed fluttered the ruffle around her narrow shoulders. He wanted to reach over and weave her small fingers with his own, to feel what it would be like to protect even just that little bit of her. Was her skin soft? Her hair? He didn’t know. He’d never held a woman’s hand, nor anything else.
He had to find out more about her and her past. Was she still the woman he remembered? “You took the class to be a court reporter. What made you choose Custer and not Deadwood? Deadwood has a fairly active court.”
She tucked her head sweetly, and her voice was as soft as evening birdsong. “I tried. I applied for positions within an hour of home, but Custer was the place that answered and hired me. I’m thankful to have a job at all. So many women are struggling to find employment now, before they wed… It’s difficult to find a position for those of us who didn’t plan to ever be wed.” She gasped and covered her lips, her eyes wide and pleading for forgiveness. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
His heart plummeted, but, of course it was true. She would’ve assumed he’d gone off to Massachusetts and that absolved her of her silly agreement, one she wouldn’t have made if he hadn’t made her feel like she would be alone otherwise. Even with his guilt, he couldn’t let her go. If he did, he’d never convince her to marry him without the pact. Why would she ever want to?
“Did you think I would forget about our agreement?” His training as a lawyer took over, and he steeled his voice against the hurt he didn’t want to feel.
“No.” She blushed. “I assumed you would wed the first pretty, intelligent woman you met, and forget all about someone like me. It wasn’t like you couldn’t.”
Could she really believe that? He wanted to think so, that she would believe so highly of him, to find him capable of finding love from someone else. But it just wasn’t possible. Even if it had been, he’d never tried. Daisy and her pretty smile and witty conversation had his heart from the first. He couldn’t even look at another woman without comparing her to Daisy, and they’d all fallen sorely short.
“I’m afraid there was no one else. Didn’t you ever look? We’ve been out of school now for a long time. You had plenty of opportunity, and if you were working, you must have met an abundance of men.” Though he’d hoped she hadn’t.
She laughed, short and dry, almost forced. “I don’t meet men. I go to work and come home. I shop when I need something from the store, otherwise, it’s just me and my cat.”
That surprised him. He’d never thought of Daisy needing anyone. “You have a cat?” It bothered him to know that she had been as lonely as he’d been before he’d gotten Gracie. His faithful dog had never had to live with another pet, and if her cat was half as close to her as he was with Gracie, he couldn’t ask her to give it up. Though, he’d never much liked the wily things.
“Yes, she’s been with me for quite a few years. I’m a bit embarrassed to say that she keeps me company. I don’t talk much with other people. My work requires me to be quiet, I guess I’ve fallen into a habit.”
He had to hold himself back from taking her hand now. Would she welcome the small comfort? “You don’t need to be embarrassed, but how do you think she’ll handle living with a dog?”
A pretty blush crept up her cheeks. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough. Did you like your cake?”
He’d forgotten to thank her, what an ungrateful lout. “It was perfect, thank you.”
“I didn’t think, until after I’d sent it, that perhaps you don’t like sweets anymore.”
Did she remember everything about him? He hadn’t gotten anything for himself in so long, maybe he didn’t, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Not when she was the only one who’d even thought about his birthday in years.
“It was thoughtful of you, and I appreciate it, but let’s talk for a minute about your birthday. It’s coming soon.”
Her eyes met his for a moment and they were exactly as he remembered, almost lavender, simply lovely, like no other gem on earth. She had the most unique eyes he’d ever seen and, though they were beautiful, they were just one of the things he loved about her. It was her whole face and manner that enchanted him, not just one piece. For any one part was pretty on its own, but as a whole, she set his heart to beating faster than the waltz.
“My birthday hasn’t been cause to celebrate for many years,” she mumbled.
“Well, I should say it will be this year. Is there anything you need beforehand?” He had to assume that she would go through with the wedding. If he didn’t, she would discover just how nervous he was that she would walk away.
“Am I to invite my family to come, or…” Her voice stalled.
He had to let her know that he didn’t expect her to love him, and their marriage didn’t have to be real beyond the legal sense. She could let go of that worry he could see building in the furrows of her forehead. Neither of them would be alone, but they would also never be together. She didn’t have to worry about her giant husband taking advantage of her.
“I don’t think it’s necessary. You can ask them if you think they would like to be there, or if they will be offended if you don’t. But our marriage will be, as we agreed to, one of convenience. So that neither of us have to face the strife and struggle of loneliness.”
She sat silently for a moment and her eyes turned glassy as she blinked quickly. Her lip trembled slightly, and she slid down the bench from him a few inches. He reached to pull her back, but her flinch made him stop. Would he lose her the very day he’d finally talked to her again?
Her voice creaked when she was finally able to make it work. “If you don’t really want to wed, then why did you come back here? I see no reason to go so far out of your way for something you’d rather not do.” She closed her eyes as glistening tears appeared at the edges, then she stared over her shoulder, blocking his view of her face.
Those tears tore at his already aching heart. “I told you, there were no other women, and I don’t want to be by myself. That’s why I made the pact with you in the first place.” He hoped she would turn and look at him, to relax and understand that he didn’t expect her to ever love him, that things would be just as they had always been for her, only now she would have the support of one who loved her.
Instead, she hunkered into herself and turned her knees farther from him. “I don’t require anything in the next few days. However, I hope you recall that you have a little more than one whole day to change your mind or find someone else entirely.”
Her words gutted him. There would never be anyone else. She stood and made to walk away.
“Daisy, wait!” He stood and followed her. She kept walking but slowed her pace, not that it mattered, he would’ve caught up quickly with his long legs. “Let me walk you back to the bank, at least.”
“I don’t think that’s necessary.” Her words were as stiff as her spine. She wouldn’t look at him and he wanted to tip her face up to his, to understand what she was hiding from him. They had started out so well.
“If you think your family would want to know, I welcome them.” He strode alongside her, but she didn’t stop.
“That’s fine. If this is nothing more than a contractual relationship, I won’t burden them with it.” Her tone crackled like broken glass.
“I don’t foresee our relationship being a burden to anyone, Daisy. I hope you don’t see it that way.” He had to find something to say to stop her, so he could talk to her and find out what he’d said or done.
“How else should I see it? You’ve shown up, a well-to-do lawyer who’s come to rescue poor Daisy Arnsby who couldn’t manage to find a real husband of her own. But don’t worry, it’s not like you’ll have to really play husband, either. It’s all for show.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach and picked up her pace.
“Daisy, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never assumed that you’d still be alone. In fact, I was quite surpr
ised when I arrived in town and found that you were. I almost missed your birthday, because it took me so long to find you.” He had looked for many months, assuming she would’ve stayed near her family. He’d been so worried that the reason he couldn’t find her was that her name had changed.
He’d been too afraid to talk to Beau, though he knew him, because he would’ve had to explain why he wanted to know where she was. He might have had to ask permission, and Beau might not have given it.
“Well, I didn’t. I never planned to get married. I didn’t even look. No one wants to marry a quiet little nothing. Not even the man who agreed to years ago. Don’t worry about me, Elias. I free you of your obligation. I don’t want to strap any man down, and I refuse to be a burden to anyone. I don’t want a contractual marriage and I won’t force you into a farce, either. Good evening.” She dashed off across the street from the bank and he refused to chase after her any further when he was only making her angrier.
What had he done? He’d tried to relieve her of her worry, and instead, he’d hurt her to the point of tears. Daisy needed to be cherished and protected, but she needed to be protected from him most of all. Even his words, the part of him most schooled to be normal, had cut her. He was too big, too much of a brute, for her sweet tenderness. But, oh, how he loved her. He couldn’t let her just walk out of his life, not now. After so many years of waiting, when she was right there, he couldn’t let her go.
Chapter 5
The small courtroom didn’t hold all that many people and certainly not enough for Elias to hide his tall frame. He felt like a Clydesdale at a pony show. Even sitting in the farthest row, his broad shoulders took up too much room, people sitting next to him cut glances at him with frowns of disapproval. As successful as he was, those glances never ceased to injure.
After Daisy had left him standing alone in front of the bank the evening before, he’d wanted to do little more than hide. But he deserved it. He’d coerced her into signing that promise long ago, and now he’d have to come to grips with the fact that she might not want to go through with it. She had one full day to walk away. Tomorrow, theirs would be the first case of the day, a quick ceremony back in the judge’s chambers, then both of them would have to return to work. Just like any other day.
He’d gotten to court early, so he wouldn’t have to try to sneak in between cases. His client wouldn’t be back in court for another few days, but he didn’t have anything else to do, and sitting there in the same room as Daisy made him feel a little closer to her. It also helped him become acquainted with the old judge and how he ran his cases. Since Custer had only one judge, any case he brought would be before Cornwall.
Daisy carried her steno machine in its case and set it on the small desk to the left of the judge’s bench. She was so small, with her pristine white shirt and dark green skirt, showing her tiny heeled boots below her hems. No one else even seemed to notice her silent entrance. Her hair was tied back in a perfect bun at her nape, not a wisp of hair out of place. He couldn’t help but wonder if she’d stayed up late into the night, or even all night as he had, thinking about their talk in the park and where it had gone wrong.
The only conclusion he could come to was that she was unhappy about a marriage in name only. While that prospect was exciting, it also meant that she couldn’t continue on with him at all, because he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was the one thing he would be ruthlessly stubborn about. Even if she wanted a relationship with him, he wouldn’t allow it. At his size, he’d crush his sweet little flower, and he’d vowed to never hurt her again. He’d done too much of that the night before.
She tucked her skirt close as she sat gracefully and waited for the judge and bailiff. She was early, just as she’d always been when they were at school. Daisy was never late for anything, at least not that he’d ever seen. It wasn’t that she enjoyed being early, she just liked to find the place in any situation where she felt the most at ease and stayed there.
Her quiet nature had made grade school classmates think she wasn’t interested in friendship, when in truth, she was incredibly friendly. Daisy just didn’t like being the first to speak. It was how he’d begun their friendship as children. He’d swallowed all his fear one day, sat with her under her tree, and talked to her. She had been so quiet and charming, so ready for anyone to share with her, that he’d made it a point to talk to her whenever he could scrape together enough courage.
The judge strode in from his chambers in his distinguished black suit, and the bailiff announced the start of session. Case after case rolled by as his watch turned ever so slowly. Eight cases later and it was time for recess, so they could have luncheon. If Daisy took a minute to put her equipment together, as she had the day before, he could ask her to join him. Elias waited for a minute, as it was bad form to cross the gates between the courtroom seating and the court itself. Daisy glanced up and saw him. She didn’t smile but arranged her roll of paper then came over to the gate.
He met her there. “Daisy, good to see you.”
She nodded, her face unchanged. “I didn’t expect to see you today. I assumed you would be out looking for some loophole in our agreement.”
He’d never heard her so stiff, though she was trying to portray that she felt nothing, with her chin held high and face blank. He could feel the hurt in her words.
“I don’t want to find an escape, do you?” He held his breath and the selfish prayer that had been on his lips for years lifted in his mind once more. Please, don’t let her want anyone else…
“No, I never said I wanted to break our agreement. I simply don’t like the idea of a loveless marriage. We were friends at one time, I think… Is it too much to ask for some smidgen of that once again?” Her bright lavender blue eyes met his and the woman he’d always thought of as meek hit him with pure determination.
He would not agree to anything that would hurt her but telling her to remain at arm’s length already had. “We used to be friends, yes. Does that mean you’ll be here tomorrow morning?” He avoided agreeing to anything. She wouldn’t force him to lie.
Daisy tilted her head slightly and the sun from the window caught her pretty golden hair. “Yes, I will be here. I’m always here.” A slight smile crept over her face. “And will you be here?”
A nervous laugh slipped from him. He’d mostly learned how to control those, but Daisy made him forget everything that was important about being a lawyer. With her, there was only room for what was important to being a man. “I’ll be here. Do you want me to message your family back in Deadwood?”
The soft smile faltered, and she didn’t try to recover it. “No. I’ll message them when I’m ready.”
His hand clenched at his side. He didn’t much like her idea, and that surprised him. Even the day before, he’d told her she didn’t have to contact her family, but when she posed it, just that way, it felt like they were keeping their wedding a secret. But then, her brother-in-law, who’d acted as her father, was quite set in his ways. She probably agreed that Beau wouldn’t give his blessing to the union. Then Daisy would feel obligated to obey the man and walk away.
“Join me for lunch?” He opened the gate for her.
“I need to put away my machine, first. I risk someone tampering with it if I don’t. We can’t have anyone marring the court records.”
He didn’t have a chance to answer, she turned from him and was gone in a flash, back to her little desk, collecting everything and heading out the back door. A few minutes later, she returned, with a hat and thin cotton gloves on, ready to go.
When Daisy was his wife, she wouldn’t have to work anymore. She could keep his home and live a life she’d never been afforded as the daughter of a rancher’s foreman. She’d worked hard, but never again. It was one of the main reasons he’d never fought when his parents had insisted he go to law school. His profession was just another thing he’d done to make himself more of a draw to Daisy.
Lunch with Elias had been quiet, almost
too quiet, like he was afraid to broach something with her. She’d been angry with him the evening before but didn’t want to bring up why. It wasn’t her place to say that she desired romantic love. Especially not at a lunch table.
Daisy returned to work, but she’d been unable to turn her thoughts to little else the rest of the day. Elias sat in the back of the courtroom, watching her intently. Since she still had to work, she was unable to turn to him, nor check if he was watching her or the court, but her skin prickled as if he might be watching her. When the bailiff finally announced the closing of session, she was more than ready to be finished. Yet, she still had to go back to her little office and type up the many hours of cases she’d done that day.
When the court emptied, save for her and Elias, she was just as nervous as she’d been all those years ago under the maple tree, waiting for him to talk to her. He wore a smart pinstriped suit and tie, the most handsome man in the room. Daisy took her focus off of him for a moment as she rolled up the long sheet of paper and waited for him to come forward, so they could talk. He took his time getting to her, as if he were just as nervous as she was. He couldn’t be, though, a lawyer would be used to speaking in court, making his point, his wits always about him. He had no reason to be nervous about talking to her.
“I know you’ve had a long day, but would you like to come and see my home before supper?”
He had a hopeful slant to his brow, and though she didn’t want to, she had to refuse.
Beau, who had been a father to her for most of her life, would already be hurt that she hadn’t come to him before getting married. If she went to a man’s home, no matter how respected the man was, she would be putting herself and her reputation in danger.
“I’m sorry, Elias. I’m not finished with my day. I’ve got at least a few hours of typing yet to do. I will be so tired when I’m done. I’ll probably go home, eat by myself, and retire, so I’ll be fresh and ready for tomorrow.” She prayed he would understand her desire to be ready for him. It wasn’t every day a woman got married, and she was still uncertain of what her wedding day would entail.