The pressure from his own hands hurt.
His body—everything about this strange shell—felt wrong.
His throat burned. It was like the worst case of strep throat ever, but without the swelling or the ice cream. His skin ached. Even his hair hurt when it moved. He wondered if he could swallow ice or if his body would reject it.
He didn’t feel the need to pee.
He was hungry again.
He was horny again.
Ridiculously, excessively horny. He’d come five minutes ago and was still hard as a rock.
You had sex with Tenzin.
It had been… He didn’t have words for it.
He wanted her to be there when he got out of the bath, and he knew she’d be gone.
She was good at leaving.
You asked her to leave.
Ben was so angry with her he didn’t know what to say.
I hate you.
I need you.
Don’t leave me.
I can’t stand the sight of you.
Among the tangle of thoughts in his mind, he kept coming back to three things: he’d had sex with Tenzin, he’d drunk her blood, and he didn’t have words to describe it.
He needed a few years and a few barrels of whiskey to even begin to explain what he was feeling. In that moment, all he felt when he thought about her was anger. He wanted to hit her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to scream at her.
He wanted to do it again.
Fuck, he was a mess.
Ben sucked in a harsh breath and rubbed his eyes. He wanted to go home to LA. He wanted to hide in his room at Giovanni and Beatrice’s, eat a chicken burrito, and sleep for a week. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
He wanted his eyes to be brown again.
He didn’t want blood to taste good.
He wanted to talk to Beatrice. He wanted to know what to do.
How am I supposed to feel, B? Because right now I can’t think. Every time I think more than five minutes in advance, I feel so overwhelmed I want to cry.
Why did he want to cry? He was angry, not sad. He’d been stripped of his free will, his humanity taken from him, and handed over to a vampire not even Tenzin liked.
Okay, maybe he had a good reason to cry.
You can’t stay in the bath forever.
Ben stood and reached for a towel, keeping his eyes fixed on the floor. He kept catching his reflection in the mirror and wishing he hadn’t, wishing the old myth about vampire reflections was truth.
Sometimes it was worse knowing.
Kill me.
It was still an option. All Ben would have to do is park himself out in the sun and he’d burn up in the daylight. But there were two problems with that idea. He’d seen a vampire burning one time, trying to kill himself. It wasn’t quick and it was incredibly painful. Also it was one thing to be faced with death and accept it, it was another to actively go looking for it.
He reached for a soft cotton towel and wrapped it around his body. He tried to dry off his shoulders, but rubbing his skin hurt. Not as much as Tenzin’s fingernails had hurt, but—
He’d had sex with Tenzin.
Ben glanced at his shoulder, but all he could see where she’d marked him were faint red lines. The bloody marks had already healed.
You told her to leave.
He didn’t want to see her. And he did. If anyone else had caused this—if he’d been turned against his will by another vampire—she’d be the only person he would want. He would crave her advice and her comfort. She would hold him. She would put her arms around him and watch him while he slept and he would know—he would know—nothing in the world would survive her fury or her revenge.
And eventually she would find something funny and make him laugh.
And they would be fine. He would be fine. They would figure it out together.
But instead, she’d been the one to do it. She hadn’t put her blood in his body, but Ben knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was the reason he was a vampire.
“You did this.”
She hadn’t denied it and she hadn’t looked a bit sorry. Guilty? Yes. But not sorry.
Why should she be? She had him exactly where she wanted him now, tied to her by a shared sire for eternity.
Maybe death was a better option.
Ben walked out of the bathroom, sat on the edge of the bed, and closed his eyes. A thousand images flashed before him. The sun setting over the beach in Malibu. The heat of midday in the rainforest in Puerto Rico. Free running at daybreak over the rooftops in Hell’s Kitchen. Strolling through the streets of Rome with Fabia teasing him about his appetite. Catching Chloe in the park so they could grab a bagel, sit on a park bench, and talk shit about tourists in Midtown.
And everywhere in his memories, Tenzin. More Tenzin. Still more Tenzin. Training together. Working together. Playing games and cooking. Dancing in the moonlight.
You told her you loved her.
He’d been dying and he’d thought she needed to know.
What a mess. What a complete fucking mess.
Ben heard a tap on the outer door and stood up, looking around the shattered room. “Just a minute.”
How did controlling air work? Clearly, something explosive had happened between him and Tenzin, but he had no idea. He could tell that something was happening, but he couldn’t tell what. Mostly he felt untethered. If he stopped moving for too long, he had a tendency to float.
Really, really disturbing.
He opened the door and saw Zhang. A rush of unfamiliar emotions hit him.
Familiarity. Fear. Hunger. Affection. Humility.
He had the urge to bow, and layered over that was a keen and powerful desire to please this stranger standing before him.
Ben let out a hard breath as tears returned to his eyes. “I don’t know…”
Zhang looked curious but said nothing.
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Zhang took a breath and let it out slowly. “I suppose that is not a bad place to start.”
“Okay.” Ben backed up and Zhang Guo, elder of Penglai Island, king of the Naiman Khanlig, general of the Altan Wind, ancient immortal—and father of the woman Ben had just had sex with—entered the room.
Shit.
The long-haired vampire looked around the battered room, looked back at Ben. Looked at the bed. Nodded. “It smells like sex in here. Let’s go somewhere else.”
Fuck. That was embarrassing.
Ben was wrapped in a fresh zhiduo of dark blue silk. His skin reacted to everything that touched it, but he tried to ignore the sensation. It wasn’t pain. It was just sensitivity.
“What are you feeling?” Zhang asked.
“Physically?”
Zhang poured two cups of tea. “We’ll start there.”
“Everything hurts. But not really hurts, it’s just… a lot.”
“Intense.”
“Yes.”
Zhang nodded. “That is normal.”
But nothing about this situation could be considered normal.
They were sitting in a room that was startlingly plain considering the owner. Half of the roof was open to the sky, and the walls were plain wood paneling. No flourishes. No woodwork or painting. Plain wood. The floor was bamboo covered in woven mats. It looked more like a monastery than the quarters of an ancient king.
Zhang looked around, noting Ben’s careful eye.
“I understand the theater of ruling,” Zhang said. “Rulers need theater. It is a valuable skill I have used for thousands of years. But you are my son now—”
Ben tried not to flinch.
“—so theater is not for you.” Zhang looked around. “These are my personal quarters. As long as you are in Penglai, you may ask to enter them.”
“Thank you.”
Two low benches with cushions sat on either side of a small table. There was tea, and Zhang had ordered a quiet vampire in the corner to bring noodle soup and more blood.
<
br /> “As for the intensity of your feelings, Benjamin, you will find that the more you indulge your appetites, the more intense they become,” Zhang said. “That goes for everything but blood. Right now you need blood. When the time comes that you do not need it and simply want it, we will begin your training.”
“What kind of training?”
“I believe I will wait for your uncle’s guidance on where we should start,” Zhang said.
Ben looked up. “Giovanni?”
Zhang nodded. “Your aunt and uncle are in route to Penglai right now. They immediately sought permission of the elders to visit you.”
“Thank you.” Ben felt like crying again, but he managed to take deep breaths to contain his emotion.
Zhang slid a cup of tea to Ben. “I have no desire to separate you from your uncle or aunt. One, they are valuable allies I respect and noted scribes here on the island. Two, they are close friends of my daughter. And three, they are your family. I respect family.”
“Thank you.”
“Nevertheless, you will not be permitted to return to them right now,” Zhang said. “Or anytime in your first year, at the very least. They are skilled and capable vampires, but you are not a water vampire or a fire vampire.” Zhang sipped his tea. “You command the air. And you are already very powerful.”
A year? “I’m going to be isolated on Penglai Island for a year?”
“Of course not. This is a court. There are too many humans who have reason to be here, and having a newborn vampire on the island for an extended period of time would be an intrusion on my fellow elders’ ability to conduct business. You and I will go to my fortress in the Khentii Mountains. You will be isolated there and no threat to humans.”
“The Khentii Mountains?”
“Mongolia,” Zhang said. “You will learn to harness your power, and I will train you in the ways of a warrior of my line.”
Ben stared at his tea. “Your line?”
“Tenzin has never chosen to sire a child.” The corner of Zhang’s mouth turned up. “Or none that she has told me about. It would not be unpleasing to me if you did not follow her example. Currently, my line has only myself, Tenzin, and now… you.”
Ben had to ask. Maybe he would be punished for it, but he didn’t care. “Why did you do it?”
Zhang lifted his chin, and Ben felt immediately humbled.
He looked down, but he didn’t regret asking the question. “I need to know.”
“No, you want to know. You will learn the difference between need and want when you train with me.”
Ben forced his eyes up to Zhang’s. “Fine. I want to know.”
Zhang’s eyes softened a fraction. “You have a strong spirit. And someday I may tell you, but not tonight. Right now everything in your mind and body has been pushed to the limit. You need to feed.”
As if on command, the quiet vampire who had been waiting on them appeared at the door with a large goblet of fresh blood.
“You will learn to drink from the vein in time,” Zhang said. “For now, a cup will do.”
He felt like a child with a sippy cup, and yet he didn’t care. As soon as the vampire entered the room, all Ben could think about was the blood he carried.
Ben tipped the goblet back and drank the blood down as if he’d just found an oasis in the desert. He drank every drop and had to restrain himself from licking the goblet.
“Tai will get you more blood.” Zhang waved for Tai to leave the room. “He will also be accompanying us to Khentii.”
“But he’s not your son?”
“No. Tai is the son of an old rival.”
“What happened to his sire?”
“I killed him.”
Ben wasn’t shocked. “So now Tai works for you?”
“Trust me, he is quite grateful.”
Zhang could have been telling the truth. Some sires were horrible to their children, though Zhang didn’t appear to be with Ben. Was it because he was Giovanni’s nephew? Or was it because Zhang, like the rest of the vampire world, somehow thought Ben belonged to Tenzin?
Zhang poured more tea in his cup and Ben’s. “You may not realize it, but you are showing admirable restraint for a newborn.”
“Thank you.”
Zhang angled his head to the side and examined Ben’s neck. “Ah.”
“Ah?”
Zhang looked at Ben but said nothing else.
Ben realized what Zhang was seeing. He hadn’t really looked in the mirror after seeing his eyes because he was avoiding his own face, but his new sire likely saw the marks Tenzin had left in his neck.
Awkward.
Ben pulled the collar of his zhiduo up. “When do we leave for Khentii?” Ben had the crazy wish that maybe he and Zhang could sneak away before Tenzin thought about finding him again. Maybe he could be the one to disappear this time. He could feel her at a distance—he didn’t know how—and he sensed she was impatient.
That might have been her blood, or it could have just been that he knew her. Tenzin was always impatient.
Zhang said, “I am glad to know you are eager for this journey, but we will not leave Penglai until the matter of the Laylat al Hisab is finished.”
That fucking sword.
Ben sipped his tea. “I saw it. It was on the ship.”
Zhang’s eyes gleamed. “So my daughter told me. What did it look like?”
“Intact. Astonishingly intact. I can’t tell you more than that. It had been enclosed in…” Ben struggled to describe it. “Like a glass bubble or a case. The glass was thick, eaten away on the outside, but it wasn’t cracked. I saw the outline of the sword when I…”
When I shined my flashlight through the case and Johari speared me to the bottom of the ocean like a putting a toothpick in a sausage.
“Harun must have created a special glass case for the sword, not wanting it to be damaged by water,” Zhang said. “Clever, clever vampire.” He chuckled. “Now we simply have to retrieve it from the immortal who stole it.”
“Saba’s daughter,” Ben said. “She won’t be an easy target.”
Zhang’s expression could only be described as amused. “Saba’s daughter will never be a match for mine.”
29
On the second night after Ben had lost his mortal life, Tenzin cleaned up the wreckage of the room they had destroyed, folded the sheets he had slept on, and washed the bathroom he had used. Then she ate a bowl of noodle soup before she walked out of her rooms in Penglai Island and took to the sky.
Her father was waiting in the air. “The Laylat al Hisab is in an oblong glass case. Ben says he thinks it is red, but he was underwater and his memory of that night is incomplete.”
“Understood.” She kept her face expressionless and her thoughts to herself.
“He is doing well. His thirst is being sated by the typical amount of blood. He has no pain or memory of his injuries.”
She nodded.
“He has not asked about you.”
Tenzin kept her eyes on the horizon. “I understand.”
Zhang reached down and lifted her chin, turning Tenzin’s head until he could look her in the eye. “The truth is not always beautiful.”
“I learned that centuries ago.” She would not think of him. She would not think of anything but her mission. “I will find the sword, Father. I will kill Saba’s daughter.”
“Is that what you think I want?” He stared at her. “My daughter, if you resist change, you will never be who you were meant to become.”
She looked at him, the familiar planes of his face. The arched eyebrows and wide mouth. He was a man who had learned to laugh and smile when he was in company. He was a chameleon in a way she had never been.
“I know who I am,” Tenzin said. “I will return when it is done.”
Zhang released her, and Tenzin turned south. She flew over the ocean that guarded the sacred island and the fields on the mainland. She flew fast, marking landmarks as she passed them. She flew over Shanghai and
didn’t stop. The flight to Cheng’s ship would take her most of the night.
Tenzin didn’t think about Ben. She didn’t think about the Laylat al Hisab or her desire to kill Johari. She opened her soul wide and absorbed the dark night around her, drawing strength from the emptiness of the sky.
I am as old as the wind I walk upon.
She dropped lower when she reached Fuzhou, blowing through the mist from the ocean and through the city air until she reached the ocean.
Murderer.
Liar.
Lover.
Thief.
Hero?
She could never be a hero. What she could be was a blade.
Tenzin dropped to the deck of the Jīnshé and walked past Kadek, who was ordering men moving the tanks.
“No, no! You’re going to tip— Tenzin?”
She didn’t stop. She marched straight to the bow of the ship and looked for him. She could already scent his amnis.
Cheng turned when she rounded the corner. He held out his arms and she walked straight into them. She allowed herself to feel, just a little bit, as he embraced her. Cheng knew not to push too far.
That was the difference between Cheng and Ben. Ben always pushed too far.
“Cricket.”
She said nothing because there was nothing to say.
“You came back for the sword?”
She nodded.
“Very well.” He kept her wrapped in his arms. “We only have a few more nights of recovery. I am responsible for the human crew, but if you want me to send someone I trust—”
“I don’t need anyone,” she said. “I will need to see her quarters.”
“Done. I haven’t let anyone in.”
“And I need a place to rest.”
“Of course. The hold is waiting for you. The men already repaired the doors.”
Tenzin was tired. She couldn’t remember being tired before. Weary? Perhaps. But tired? It was a foreign sensation, one she hadn’t felt in millennia and one she did not care for.
You have taken his blood.
One night. One bite. It was hardly significant. She stepped away from Cheng and rubbed a hand over her neck. “Is Fabia still here?”
“Yes, but she’s leaving tomorrow.” Cheng looked confused. “Someone is coming from California to pick her up in Fuzhou. Who—?”
Night’s Reckoning: An Elemental Legacy Novel Page 24