by Alexa Verde
Opportunities she never took, of course. But she’d made the mistake of telling him about her mother’s infidelities, and he’d used it as a weapon against her. She later discovered, to cover up his own infidelities.
When Colt had accused her of cheating, he’d sounded so much like Michael. But now, as she stared into her second husband’s deep-blue eyes, she couldn’t tell him that. She’d told him nothing about her troubled previous marriage. Only that her husband had died.
She didn’t understand herself why she had to keep secrets from him. Colt was nothing like Michael. But she’d spent her entire childhood learning secrets were the only way to survive and preserve a family. As soon as Dad discovered the truth, he’d left.
Learning to open up and tell at least some of the truth to Colt wouldn’t come easy. But she’d start with the small stuff.
“The case meant a lot to me. Far more than just doing my job. Karli was my best friend.”
Colt blew out a long breath. “I didn’t want you taking a murder case, not even for Karli. I wanted you doing what made you happy. I know you’re good at your job. But I also wanted to keep you safe. The whole time you were out on any case, I worried about you.”
Her brain filed away the fact that he’d met her disclosure with a disclosure of his own. Was that how it worked, in a real marriage?
He pushed back from the table, stood, and stepped toward her.
Like his brother who’d been her boss, Colt was a born protector. Silent, rarely showing emotions or saying much, so different from outspoken Brett. But she didn’t know how to be protected. She’d fended for herself for way too long, and she’d chosen it that way.
Could she choose to do things differently this time? Could he?
Mirabella also pushed to her feet. Not to step back, though she knew she should, but to move a pace closer. She hated how it made her weak when she had no intention of depending on anyone else ever again. But something in her needed Colt like she needed air.
Every cell in her body yearned for him. As she breathed in the comforting scent of his musky cologne, she allowed the warmth of his nearness to flood her with sweet memories.
Forget how things ended. The terrible accusations he’d flung at her. Remember the moments of delight.
Like their first date. No ordinary dinner or movie date for Colt. From a man who was rarely flashy about his wealth, his courtship had been spectacular. He’d taken her by private jet for a picnic at a picturesque lake in Canada. Not just a picnic, their first unforgettable kiss, too. As the golden glow of sunset reflected from the lake and the snowcapped mountains, he’d brushed his lips against hers. First tentatively, then more surely, awakening emotions she’d never felt for her first husband.
Just the memory fluttered her tummy.
And the silent question in his eyes now made her blood rush faster.
He wanted to kiss her, just as much as she longed for the sweetness of his lips on hers.
But a kiss couldn’t erase their past mistakes, couldn’t rebuild the love they’d lost. Love based on a foundation of sand, at best. Trust and faith were the bedrocks their marriage needed. And they had neither.
Still, her heartbeat increased. How could she have forgotten about him for those long years of amnesia? Since she’d come back, he and the twins occupied all her thoughts.
He leaned to her, reducing the already small distance between them. His nearness tightened her chest, making it hard to breathe. “It’s difficult for me to accept some of the things you did, the secrets you kept. But I’m trying. I’m still the same man. I haven’t changed.”
No. That was part of the problem. He still didn’t trust her. The rest of the problem was her.
“But I have. I’m not the woman I was.” Her words emerged as a breathy whisper. She should step back. She really should.
Some things weren’t meant to be, and she and Colt reuniting was one of them. Her secrets had separated them before, and her secrets would separate them again. How could she bear to tell him the complete truth about her past? How could she let him see the woman she was now?
His eyes searched hers. “Yes, you look different. But deep inside, aren’t you the same Mirabella I fell in love with? Only this time, a Mirabella who can be open with me, no secrets? A woman I can trust?”
Hope and so much wistfulness shone in his eyes, she nearly came undone. Her pulse became a staccato as she leaned toward him, almost without intending to.
She knew the way his touch made every cell in her body sing. She knew every line on his face, every dot in his blue irises. His weakness for barbecue ribs, and the way a vein on his forehead throbbed when he was upset. His passion for his work in the lab, not because of the earnings—he already had more than enough—but to improve people’s lives. His dedication to Second Chance in Life, the charity he’d founded with his brother, Brett, and friend, David, to help land-mine amputees in Africa.
So many things she loved and admired about him.
She hadn’t fallen in love with him in Canada or when he’d had her small apartment filled with bouquets of daisies or when he’d showered her with gifts, from diamond and sapphire jewelry to a luxury car. Those expensive gifts, she’d refused to accept.
His wealth wasn’t what appealed to her. When she’d seen him wiping smears of applesauce from Corbin’s mouth, letting Kitty finger paint his face with ketchup, and simply looking at her children with so much love—that’s when she’d known she was a goner.
“Colt.” The name sounded so familiar to her lips, and yet it tasted different, too. So many years since she’d said it in this tone.
Somehow, something had shifted between them with her coming to his lab today. The attraction between them had always been strong, the pull toward him so overwhelming she’d lost her head once, resulting in a whirlwind marriage. She felt the same overwhelming pull now.
Something told her he did, too. That the reason he’d avoided her this past year wasn’t because he didn’t care for her, but because he cared too much.
But history repeated itself. Just as before, when she’d first investigated this serial killer case, she had a target pinned to her back. Would she be bringing danger into the lives of the twins and Colt? Would she need to leave to protect them?
She’d done it once. And look how well that had turned out.
When he stood so near that his breath caressed her face, she had difficulty thinking straight. All she could think of was Colt and her longing for him. Couldn’t she become that honest, trustworthy woman he deserved? A woman unlike her mother?
“I was angry when you left. So angry with you! But I could never forget you.” He leaned even closer, their bodies almost touching. So, like her, he still felt the all-encompassing attraction that swept away logic and made them crazy for each other.
The air between them hummed with desire. Sweet anticipation of the kiss rippled through her.
But this was so not a good idea.
They couldn’t risk losing themselves in each other as they had once before. She needed to move back. He needed to move back. And yet, they stood, so close one of them would only need to move an inch for her to be in his arms, face lifted to his kiss like a flower to the sun.
Just as his lips lowered to hers, her phone beeped with an incoming message. Whatever force drew them together vanished. Gulping with either relief or disappointment—and it had better be relief—she staggered back to fish her phone from her purse.
Unknown number. Brow creased, she opened the message.
Remember this?
Then a picture of daisies.
Her stomach clenched, but somehow she managed to maintain a neutral expression as she shoved her phone back in her purse. As much as she’d wanted to start over with Colt, she clearly needed to stay away from him and the children—at least until she solved this mystery. And until Colt could forgive her and trust her.
A kiss wouldn’t make the issues between them disappear. It would only make things mor
e complicated. A vise squeezed her heart. It wasn’t fair. But then, little in life was fair.
“Colt, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she whispered as she turned away to dump the remains of the food in the trash. No matter how much she’d wanted him to kiss her, to go back where they’d once left off, it wasn’t a good idea.
She was so strongly drawn to him, it took a huge effort to keep her distance. But she had to. Physical attraction wasn’t enough to build a lasting relationship.
Especially when he was still angry with her, when he still didn’t trust her.
Especially when she still needed to keep secrets from him.
Especially when she seemed to be right in somebody’s crosshairs.
Oh, the irony. She’d been eager to start working as a private investigator again and never imagined her first case would be her own. She worked hard to succeed because she needed to believe she could make it on her own.
Now, she had to succeed because, otherwise, she’d pay with her life.
Chapter Four
All Mirabella’s commonsense self-talk couldn’t ease her sense of loss.
“I see.” Colt’s jaw set in a stubborn line.
He didn’t say anything else. But then, neither did she.
They’d never talked things through. Colt suppressed his emotions just as strongly as she did. No surprise, when she knew his father’s anger issues culminated in his dad burning their home down, landing Colt and Brett in foster care. But he’d never wanted to talk about personal stuff.
Just as she’d never spoken of her own family life. Not her childhood. Not her first marriage. She’d married a near stranger based on desire alone and, in the six months of their marriage, hadn’t gotten to know him much better. All she’d really known was her passion for him and that he loved her children. In the year since her return, she’d learned more about him.
But still not enough.
Not enough to know how to rebuild their relationship. Not enough to guess how to ask for forgiveness. Not enough to hope he’d ever grant it.
Not enough to trust him with the rest of her secrets.
If all they had was physical attraction, it wouldn’t survive him seeing her as she really was. Seeing her without her concealing mask of makeup and her carefully chosen cover-up clothing and accessories.
A lump formed in her throat and didn’t shift when she swallowed. “I need to leave today, so I can get back in time to keep my promise to the twins. I won’t be able to say goodbye to them. Please tell them I’m sorry.”
He gave her a long assessing look. “I’ll walk you to the car.”
Even under the circumstances, he wanted to protect her. How could she help him understand that she didn’t need his protection? She needed… What? His love? His forgiveness? His trust? Or something else entirely? All she knew was… she needed him.
The emotion clenching her throat grew. “You don’t have to. I can take care of myself.” Okay, her husky voice and her years with amnesia might not provide the best proof.
Thankfully, he didn’t mention those little details.
His eyes narrowed a fraction. “You can be too stubborn for your own good. You know that, right?”
Did she ever!
He opened the door, scanned the street, and then nodded to her before stepping outside. “I believe it’s safe to leave.”
After the kidnapping, he’d become more cautious. Still not as cautious as she was.
Her gaze skimmed the empty parking lot dotted with trees. As she’d noted before, an assailant could be hidden behind them or behind vehicles. But no way to be sure. Her hand felt in her purse for her gun, ready to draw it or shoot through her purse if needed. She’d ruined several purses that way, but better to lose a purse than a life.
“Let’s go.” She followed Colt outside. The way he walked closely and shielded her with his broad shoulders one could think he had experience in security. Instead, he did it intuitively.
Once near her nondescript black sedan, she clicked on the fob, opened the driver’s door before Colt could, and slid inside. Partly because it was safer than staying out in the open. Partly because one second more of being close to him, and she might ask him to give her another chance.
Her stomach clenched and twisted. She didn’t want to leave him, but no matter what she did, she’d hurt him. Her first husband told her, women like her should never marry.
Maybe Michael had a point.
She turned the key in the ignition and rolled the window down a little. Colt didn’t move from his place, and his gaze lingered on her. Longing stirred deep inside her, but she pushed it away. Where she almost couldn’t feel it.
“I’ll let you know when I’m coming back from Australia. It shouldn’t be a long trip.” She’d thought that last time, too.
I’ll miss you. I miss you already.
No, she shouldn’t say those words. Didn’t have the right to.
“The twins and I will be waiting for you.” His eyes darkened, and he didn’t ask the question lurking in them.
Will you be coming back?
So he still didn’t trust her. He only wanted to.
Her throat clenched so hard it became difficult to speak. She just nodded, rolled up the window, and drove off, leaving in the rearview mirror the man who’d once stolen her heart.
Judging by the way it beat wildly in her chest, he’d never given it back.
Tipping her chin, she navigated Austin’s heavy traffic. Her feelings for Colt couldn’t distract her. Something she’d learned in her profession: people who got distracted got shot. She passed a car, then glanced in a rearview mirror. At least the heavy traffic meant it would be difficult to tail somebody here.
Maybe, not difficult enough.
Her stomach tightened as she spotted a sedan the same color as hers but with heavily tinted windows two cars behind hers change lanes right after she did.
Tinted windows weren’t surprising for Texas. Summers here got hot. But a license plate obscured by mud didn’t sit well with her. She pressed on the accelerator. A small spot to the right opened up, barely enough to fit her car into. Just! She switched on the right blinker and changed lanes. Then she put on the left blinker. Phew. The driver of the truck in the left lane slowed down and let her in.
The van in front of her sped up, and she tapped the accelerator again. That gave her an opportunity to squeeze into the tiny spot to the right, and she nodded to herself. Driving a smaller car had some advantages. Speed wasn’t one of them.
A glance in the mirror showed the black sedan with tinted windows followed her trajectory, still staying a few cars behind.
Well, great.
Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. Time to lose the tail. It had been years since she’d done that, but her old skills should come back. She hoped. Flicking on the blinker, she steered into the lane on the left. Loud honking announced a vehicle in her blind spot.
Okay, maybe those old skills didn’t come back that quickly. She swallowed hard. She had no choice but to exit the freeway. Austin had changed and grown a lot in the years she’d been away. Good thing that since she’d been back, she’d memorized the newer map.
After turning the right blinker on, some lip biting, and okay, a little honking, she managed to exit. And then just the little matter of getting through the web of the streets at high speed, making sure not to kill any pedestrians, and paying attention to her rearview mirror, all at the same time.
Forty minutes, two run-through red lights, numerous turns, and a significant number of upset drivers later, she lost the tail. Or they gave up. Something told her they hadn’t intended to track her, just scare her. Well, they’d done that all right.
As her grip on the steering wheel relaxed and her pressure on the accelerator pedal lessened, she heaved a sigh and started a mental To Do list of immediate tasks.
One. Go to Australia and find out what she could about whether the Daisy Killer could have survived the accident, or
if somehow the man in the car with her hadn’t been the real killer.
Two. Stay alive.
Three. Try to work things out with Colt, for the children’s sake.
Her heart gave a flip-flop. Okay, so it wouldn’t be only for the children. She made a sharp turn and exhaled a long slow breath when the tail didn’t reappear. At least the first two seemed doable, so far.
The third item, well, she wasn’t so sure. And she wasn’t so sure it was only for the children’s sake, either.
Standing in the arrivals area of Austin’s international airport, Colt leaned to Kitty and straightened the canary-yellow ribbon in her blindingly red hair. Even in his fashion-challenged opinion, red and yellow didn’t go well together, but no use telling Kitty that. The girl was as stubborn as her mother.
Never mind that Mirabella wasn’t her biological mother.
The shock of finding his wife had used a surrogate mother to have her children from her first marriage came second to the shock of her reappearance in their lives last summer.
He, the former military man, black belt in taekwondo and all, was rescued from his kidnappers by an ex-wife he didn’t even initially recognize. Some reunion. Other people might find it romantic. He found it humiliating.
But then, he’d always had conflicting emotions when it came to Mirabella.
Corbin tugged at his hand. “Is she here yet? Where’s Mom?”
Colt boggled at his son using the word mom for the first time since Mirabella came back into their lives, then straightened and ruffled Corbin’s hair. The twins’ hair was precisely the same shade as Mirabella’s. There was even some similarity in their features, the reason he’d never thought to question the children’s origin. She must have worked hard to discover a surrogate who looked like her.
He didn’t need to answer Corbin. Kitty jumped in first. “You heard the announcement. She’ll be here soon.” As she spoke in her usual authoritative tones, she pushed her eyeglasses higher on a nose generously peppered with freckles.