“Yeah. Okay, I thought I’d seen you around. Also saw Officer Daryl hanging around with you too. What’s up with that?” he asked in a lighthearted manner.
“Daryl’s a nice guy. I think he’s just being courteous. That, and I think he has a bit of a crush on my friend, Chloe.”
“All right,” Rocky said. “Just so you know, the folks you see here are a little more free-spirited and unconventional than guys like Officer Daryl. Because of that, he doesn’t much care for us. And that means he might not care too much for you if he sees you hanging off the back of a Hellion’s hog. Even if Zane’s only half Hellion.”
“Hog?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine that anyone would see me riding on the back of a pig.
What a crazy thing to say.
“Motorcycle,” Zane said. “Don’t worry. We leave the cops alone, they leave us alone. Right, Rocky?”
“Right. But if she’s gonna be part of this, she also needs to know some things. I’ll catch you kids later. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Which is nothing,” he laughed, disappearing into the crowd.
How weird..
“What did he mean, if I’m going to be part of this? Part of what, exactly? Your motorcycle club?” I asked. To be honest, it kind of scared me.
“Nothing. He’s just being dramatic. I guess he’s trying to impress you.”
Zane looked far less concerned about the conversation with Rocky than I was.
“And what does he mean, half a Hellion?”
“Me… I guess I’m not a full-fledged member.”
Angel squished between a few bikers to deliver two mugs of beer and a plate of barbeque ribs. “For the lovebirds. Holler if you need anything else,” she squeaked.
Sipping the beer, I nearly gagged. It was not as tasty as it looked. The barbeque, however, was tender and delicious.
“So, what kinds of things do people here do that puts them on the opposite side of the law?” I asked. I also began to wonder if Rocky wouldn’t be a better candidate for the truth serum. After all, he was the one talking to Eve and was well versed in the Hellions’ culture.
“Hmm. Let’s put it this way. The Hellions have a motto. Whatever doesn’t cause harm to others is good. Take gambling for example. Having your own little casino is against the law, but by Hellions’ standards it is harmless. So, Hellions do it. We have all different games of chance to bet on. Another example is stealing or robbing someone. That is harmful, to an individual, so it is against Hellions’ standards. But things get blurry when it comes to say, construction bid rigging, tax evasion, unattended tractor trailers filled with large screen TVs, that sort of thing. And on a more personal level, any sort of relationship between consenting adults, or groups of adults, is perfectly fine. No matter what.”
“Um. I see.” The spiciness of the barbeque was starting to hit me.
“I suppose you’ve participated in these consensual group relationship things?”
Zane sipped his beer and smiled. “Curious, are we?”
“Oh gross, of course not.” I was curious about the subject in a general way, but at the same time praying he wasn’t into that sort of thing.
“Don’t worry. I’ve never participated,” he replied.
“Yeah, the original lone wolf. No need to be jealous of this guy,” Angel said, dropping off napkins, glasses, and a pitcher of water. “But you might need to put a collar on him. Maybe a microchip. He tends to roam.”
Another wolfie reference! Yay!
I had to know everything. Once Angel left, I snuck the vial from my purse and popped the tiny cork. My timing had to be perfect. Zane turned to talk to one of the other Hellions just as Rocky shoved his way past us, carrying his beer at his side. I glanced around to make certain no one was watching before I added a dash of water to his mug.
Now, all I had to do was watch and wait. I continued to nibble away at my Fire and Brimstone barbeque, acting as if I hadn’t just roofied his drink with a magical elixir. Did I mention how spicy my barbeque was?
Within minutes, Rocky chugged down his beer. The blood drained from his face, leaving him with a ghostly white complexion.
“That’s not supposed to happen,” I mumbled.
“What’s not?” Zane asked.
I tried not to panic.
Did I mention how spicy hot that barbecue was? My mouth was on fire! Instinctively, I filled a glass with water from the pitcher and gulped it down.
I pointed toward Rocky just as he stumbled across the dancefloor and became violently ill on a woman’s shirt. Another biker, even bigger and hairier than Rocky, immediately swung a fist directly into Rocky’s jaw. I thought it was a miracle his head hadn’t popped off and rolled across the floor like a fallen meatball.
Customers at a few of the other tables, only those with pitchers of water, were experiencing similar bouts of gastric distress.
“We better get out of here. Before more fights break out,” Zane said.
“So much for the Hellions’ utopian creed.”
“Oh, I never said they didn’t like to fight. Come on, let’s go.”
We made it through the crowd like salmon fighting our way upstream.
“Finally!” I cheered once we made it outside.
“Some of the food must have been bad. Are you feeling okay?” Zane asked.
“I’m totally fine. You have a great looking ass by the way. I want to grab it while you kiss me like you did on the porch.”
Now, as I’ve said lying is against my angelic nature, but blatantly speaking honestly about every thought in my head isn’t exactly my style either. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew what happened.
Crap! I had inadvertently roofied myself.
Zane laughed. “I see that beer had quite an effect on you. If I had a little more of the devil in me, I’d take advantage of this opportunity.”
“Oh, you don’t need to seduce me. I’m already there. Now, get over here and kiss me like you mean it.”
Jeee susss someone stop me.
Zane’s eyes burned into me, half smiling, he moved closer. I leaned back against a random pickup truck and put my arms around his waist, gripping his ass just like I confessed to wanting.
His hands explored my body as he kissed me.
Like a crazed sexual deviant, I found myself pulling him closer to me, praying for more. Before I knew it, he was grinding against me like we were slow dancing to the same sexy song playing in our heads, and it felt oh so good.
I could tell I had an effect on his body. He was aroused. He wanted me, and it made me feel wickedly sexy.
Almost as if he’d guessed what I’d done, he stopped kissing me, and whispered, “Sometimes telling the complete truth just makes you a better sinner. Tell me more.”
“Uh, I’m supposed to be the one asking you things. It’s all foggy.” I tried to fight against the effects of the elixir.
“Come on, tell me more.”
“I want to be good. I want to know what you really are. But…tomorrow. Tonight, I want to…I want…to do…things.” I panted, unable to articulate the tempest of naughty thoughts swirling in my head. I knew there were names for them, vague metaphors from my romance books. The truth was, to me, they’d always been unspeakable carnal acts.
“Things. Hmm. I wonder what sinful things you’ve been dreaming of in that beautiful head of yours.” His voice was like velvet—soft and smooth.
“Yes, sinful things.” I tried to leave it at that. I really did… then the only words I had learned for these acts gushed from my lips. My paperback smut book sex-ed class vocabulary was on full display. “I want you to pierce my virgin veil with your manhood. Sheath your throbbing flesh-sword to the hilt in my love folds and fill me with your seed. Take my rosy nub in your mouth…”
“Okay, okay, Emmy. Very funny. You could’ve just said you weren’t ready instead of turning the moment into a joke.”
I managed to swallow the rest of my horrid words, but the truth was I wanted him in every way t
hat had been depicted in my stories.
“Mmm hmm.” I managed to hum through my tightly closed lips.
“I still wonder, what’s going on inside. It’s almost as if…no, it can’t be.”
My mouth flew open and a geyser of truth erupted all over the place. “I poured a truth potion in Rocky’s drink! Me and my friends polluted the entire town’s water supply with the same truth potion! I drank it too! We’re all apprentice angels! I think you’re a werewolf! I want you to take my virginity with your throbbing flesh-sword!”
Oh god!
My hands flew to my mouth. I tried desperately to seal my lips shut with my fingers before anymore crazy spewed out.
“Jesus, Emmy. I was being serious. Those people are my friends and they’re really sick. I should help them.” He looked at me incredulously, like a giant anvil had just fallen from the sky, hit me on the head and I’d miraculously survived, albeit with severe brain damage.
Catching my breath, I felt relieved—purged of the truth, like I’d just thrown up a gas station burrito that had made me ill. No longer screeching like a scalded cat, my tone became somber and straightforward. “Seriously, Zane. It’s all true.”
“You say it like I should really believe you.”
“You should,” I said.
“Impaling you with my pork sword—”
“Flesh-sword,” I corrected him.
“Flesh-sword. That’s funny, but believable. The other stuff? Guess what? Also believable, but it puts us both in a precarious position.”
“Skipping the obvious reasons—like you think I’ve escaped from an insane asylum—what?”
Zane placed his hands on my shoulders, leaning close. “If you really are some kind of angel, you wound up in one hell of a place. Literally.”
“Literally?”
“Now, I’m going to lay some truth on you. The Hellions aren’t just a motorcycle club. They’re a colony of demons. They’ve been summoned from the underworld to live on Earth.”
“What?” I screeched. Now it was my turn to look at him with the same befuddled look.
“Then wouldn’t that make you a demon?”
“Half demon. My father was one, my mom—”
“Well, look at what we have here.” A woman’s voice interrupted Zane.
It was Eve, and she looked every bit the angry witch.
Zane sighed. “And my mom is the witch who summoned them.”
“It seems a little angel fluttered down and poisoned my colony with her heavenly magic. And here she is, playing with my son.”
“Your son? You are a witch.” I felt lightheaded and wobbly. “Half demon?”
“Easy, Mom. She didn’t know anything. She’s just looking for answers the only way she knows how.”
“Hey.” Eve held her hands up. “I totally get it. Tampering with the town’s well. Wow. You girls got my respect. Angelic magic is all fine and good on mortals, but when it comes to demons…well, you’ve seen the results of your handiwork.”
“W—we didn’t know! Honestly, if we thought we would make anyone sick, we never would’ve.”
“I believe you, sweetie. They’ll be fine. But from now on, no magic on my demons and that includes my son. Got it?”
“I promise,” I sort-of replied.
The evening had done a number on me. My voice was so soft and feeble, the sounds I made were barely words.
“Good. You two can go back to what you were doing. Just use protection. I don’t think any of us are ready to find out what a—witch-demon-angel hybrid would be like,” she said, disappearing as quietly as she arrived.
And here I was worried how Zane would react to my shocking confession. I’m the one ready to run screaming into the woods.
“Would…would you say you identify as more spawn-of-the-devil or son-of-the sorceress kind of guy?”
“Both.” He shrugged.
“You aren’t looking so good, Emmy. I should probably take you home.”
“Will I see you tomorrow? Or is this the point where you start avoiding me for life?”
“Avoid you? No. But I won’t see you tomorrow. It’s a full moon and…let’s just say it’s best you stay away from the Hellions, including me, for that event.”
“Of course. Full moon,” I said flatly.
So, they aren’t werewolves. What do demons do on the full moon? Garden parties? Orgies? Human sacrifice?
And I felt as sick to my stomach as Rocky and his demonic biker pals looked.
Chapter Sixteen
Once the bike stopped in front of the store, I quickly thanked Zane and told him goodnight. Making out was the last thing on my mind. I jumped off the back of his bike and ran inside as if the store was my sanctuary.
Heavy thumping and dragging sounds reverberated from the back room. Chloe and Jade grunted along with the noise as if they were moving heavy furniture.
“Try to be more careful!” Chloe said.
“We’re way past that point,” Jade replied.
Anxious to share my news, I rushed to the back room. When I pushed through the door, I immediately screamed when I saw the horrific scene playing out in front of me.
Mr. Swimmer Guy’s lifeless body was laid out on the worktable. He was on his back, like an ill-fated biology class frog, awaiting dissection.
To make matters worse, Daryl’s body was being dragged across the floor by Jade and Chloe. Chloe had a hold of his arms and Jade held his legs.
“What the—”
“It’s not what it looks like!” Chloe screeched, interrupting my question.
“It’s worse,” Jade said.
“Are they? Are they?” I stammered, afraid to know the truth.
“Dead? Probably not. But at this point, who knows,” she replied.
“What in the world happened?”
Chloe released Daryl’s arms and he hit the floor with a sickening smack.
“We were out and about in town, meeting people and asking them questions, just like we planned. Then we ran into Jade’s favorite Olympian here.” Chloe pointed to him.
Jade shuffled her feet, trying to avoid Daryl’s body. “That get-to-know-you potion I hit him with this morning finally kicked in.”
“Only, it was actually a passion bomb. I wanted Jade to go right to a wild fling with the guy, so I swapped poultices this morning, only she didn’t know,” Chloe confessed.
“Let me guess, he’s knocked out because you overdosed him?”
“Oh, not at all.” Chloe waved her hand dismissively.
“He’s like that because Jade clobbered him over the head with a really heavy brass Buddha incense burner.”
“Chloe’s passion bomb really worked as advertised. As soon as he saw me, he came after me like a rutting buck. His eyes were all wild and his tongue was hanging out. I swear it. His tongue was literally hanging out! Well, he chased after me, trying to kiss me. I ran straight back to the store and grabbed the first thing I saw. I nailed him right in the forehead.”
“We decided to drag him back here to see if we could fix him up when Officer Daryl came in. He said he heard what sounded like a gong or a big bell. I tried to tell him it was the brass Buddha bouncing off the guy’s skull. I even showed it to him. And then he got all nervous and weirded out.” Chloe shrugged, like having fresh bodies strewn across the floor was the norm and totally acceptable by human standards.
“Right. We got scared. So, I used that knockout charm on him. Then Chloe accidentally dropped the Buddha on his head too.”
I was checking their victim’s vital signs while they told their murderous tale.
“They’re both breathing, and they have pulses. I guess that’s a good thing,” I said. “We need to hit the books and find something to bring them around. God, I hope there is an essential oil to reverse possible brain damage.”
Jade set a large volume on top of Mr. Swimmer Guy’s stomach and flipped through the pages. “How did things go with Zane? Please tell me it went better than our evening. I
s he a werewolf?”
“Oh. My. God. It was so much worse. Get this. The entire Hellions bike gang is a colony of demons, summoned by the local witch, Eve. And Zane is her son! His father was one of the demons. See what I’ve gotten myself into?”
“Look at us. Look at this carnage. We’re pathetic. I was counting on you being the one who’d be our saving grace…but there you go, copulating with a demon,” Chloe said.
“Copulating? Hey now, I haven’t copulated with anyone.”
“Yet,” Jade added in a snarky voice.
“Look around you. This is no time for jokes, guys. We’ve got to keep looking for a way to fix this.”
“I’ve got it, and I already have what we need right here.” She began pouring ground dried herbs into a bowl. “Now add vinegar and oil, let it steep for thirty minutes.”
Chloe peered into the dish. “If nothing else, we’ll have a delicious salad.”
I checked on our patients again, they seemed stable enough for the moment. “By the way, what else did you two learn from the people in town tonight?”
“We ran into that rude, rich lawyer guy and his sister, who we met at the town festival, Susan and Michael McDermott. They were arguing something fierce. Apparently, Susan was our dearly departed customer Charles Nelson’s unrequited love interest. I asked her if she liked the elephant, and she said she loved it. Charles had finally made an impression on her,” Jade said.
Chloe looked up from her book. “Tell her our theory. The one about what happened to Mr. Nelson. It’s just like in Dark Beasts, Book Twelve.”
“Un-Fur-given? The one where the Alpha kills all of his sister’s suitors to keep his territory in the family?”
“Right. Chloe explained the entire plot to me. Amazingly, there are a lot of similarities. So they definitely became our suspects in the mystery’s immolation of poor Mr. Nelson. We learned Michael and Susan were the beneficiaries of a large inheritance. There was quite a bit of desirable real estate which Michael wants to develop. But he saw poor Mr. Nelson as a threat, because if Susan were ever to marry, her half of the land would also belong to her new husband. And Michael seems like a dictator, he wants complete control of the land and the development without anyone else getting involved.”
Practically Angels Page 10