1. A son of Leonore and Karl von Hülsen.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, OCTOBER 31, 1944
31 Oct
My dear, thanks for your letter. Everything sounds really lovely. Ulla [Oldenbourg] should not be led astray by the safe atmosphere in Kreisau and stop working. She has to bear in mind that from a human standpoint there is no prospect for things to turn out well. As far as I’m concerned, the main thing is for me to get the written defense and the letter to Müller, the cover letter, as quickly as possible. Dix should work hard on the revision, because once I hand it in, I have to stand behind it and can’t deviate from it again. That’s why it is necessary to include the confession of guilt from the outset as well. Don’t go too easy on him; he should take pains with this.
How wonderful that you’re here again, my love. That’s always so pleasant. My dear, how warmly I am held inside you, and I’ll remain that way. If only I could warm you too—I mean, warm you forever: that is my wish. My love, we are truly not entitled to more life, because we have had so much good come our way.
I’m sending you an embrace, my love. Tomorrow is the beginning of a new month, and it will likely bring my death; we should never forget that, so as not to feed foolish hopes. May God protect us. J.
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 1, 1944
Wednesday morning
My dear, my dear love, my Jäm, yes, today is the beginning of a new month. I set foot in it as well, and in order to do this, took my courage in both hands. I wonder what it will bring us, my dear husband! Even if it is so likely, my husband, that we will have to part within the four weeks to come, I still firmly believe in the possibility that we two will be able to exit this month again as well. Along with the prospect of what lies ahead for us, my love, I’m always also overwhelmed by the feeling of being comforted. This feeling is an inestimable treasure. Last night I got quite a few things and haven’t fully analyzed them yet, but I did read everything, and took in all that was for me. How good, my dear, I understand every word of what you wrote on that sad day.1 Even though it is incomparably easier for me at this stage, your feelings are exactly my feelings and your fluctuations are mine as well. There can’t be great heights without deep valleys, my poor husband. I can’t spend too much time writing today, because as you know, I have a lot of work to do. At 3:30 I’ll be with Dix; now I’m coming out to you, and then I have to keep an eye out for an address I already have. Schulze wanted me to call him this morning so he could tell me when he’s submitting the written defense.2 Just now, at 9:15, he didn’t answer. I’ll try again in a minute.—I was just going to tell you about Konrad talking to himself in bed when I had to leave off with my letter. It was nothing special, just a way of showing you that he is truly already a little person with his own ideas and reactions. He said, “Now Reyali is going away again and leaving us all alone, she’s leaving us alone with Astali, and then we have to live alone again. She’s taking the cake (birthday cake) and going to Pa.” It went on in this vein for quite some time.
I have to get going now. Farewell, my dear. May God watch over you, and I love you and I am and will remain your P.
1. See Helmuth’s letter of October 28, 1944.
2. Freya presumably means the indictment, since Schulze was the prosecutor.
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 1, 19441
Berlin, 1 Nov 44
How are you, my dear?
I’m happy that I’m able to write you a word or two like this.
Everything’s fine at home.
There will definitely not be a trial this week. The indictment is drawn up, but it’s still in Herr Schulze’s safe. That’s what he told me.
What else is there for us to say! We agree completely on all the issues. I’m deeply devoted to you in love.
What things are you missing?
What would you like to have?
Today I should be getting news from the prosecutor about my call asking when the indictment will be submitted to the court, but so far I’ve been unable to reach him.
1. Letter accompanying the exchange of laundry.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 1, 1944
1 Nov 44
My dear, business first here too:
1. It seems to me that Carl Viggo [von Moltke] has to come at once. It would be best for Carl Dietrich [von Trotha] to contact him right away, because it seems certain to me that Freisler now knows every detail. The indictment won’t be presented—even to the court—until everything has been discussed with Freisler.—The appeal for clemency is a difficult process and will take some time for Carl Viggo as well. He needs to try to enlist Bürkner’s aid in getting him through to Keitel. Ask him to grant us this time.
2. For the same reason, Steengracht–Round Table1 is now urgent. It absolutely must function as a means of slowing things down. Steengracht should write only what he considers right. But maybe you can call up Illemie [Steengracht]2 and say that the matter is likely to come in the next few days, so haste is essential.
Ceterum censeo3: Carl Viggo should see Freisler this week, and the letter should be relayed from Steengracht to Kaltenbrunner this week as well. I would also go ahead and discuss the issue of clemency with Illemie. She’s clever, doesn’t let Steengracht off the hook, and has some insight into the system.
3. It looks as though a Bavarian I barely know, Sperr,4 is incriminating me, claiming that I was nursing thoughts of overthrowing the government. Frau Reisert ought to tell her husband that if Sperr really did try to pin on Delp or me something that could be interpreted as an attempt at overthrowing the government, he has to recant his statement in the trial and say he mixed up the conversations, because it’s simply not correct. Reisert will be sitting next to him and surely will also have a chance to speak with him while being transported to the trial.
My dear: 1 and 2 take precedence, however. Don’t let anything else sidetrack you from these two things. Even the tiniest stone that contributes to building up those two positions is more important than anything else. It will take several rounds to get something in place. Please focus your complete concentration on those two.
My dear love, the stories from your two sons are very beautiful. The duck was delicious. The elderly guard today thought, however, that you didn’t give me much to eat, and I replied that you knew it wasn’t permitted, but he thought that some more wouldn’t have done any harm. Yes, this month will likely bring a certain decision. We have to await it with confidence. In any case, I feel quite safe and sound at the moment, and in comparison everything else is inconsequential. The month of October 1944 will thus go down in our annals as a truly important month, and we can look back on it only with gratitude. And who could have prophesied that when I began it in a depression. We never want to forget that we owe our gratitude for this important month not only to God but also to Poelchau. A Christian. J.
1. See Helmuth’s letter of October 14, 1944.
2. Illemie Baronin Steengracht von Moyland, the wife of the Nazi secretary of state, an anti-Nazi herself.
3. Latin for “furthermore, I am of the opinion.”
4. Sperr was tried with Helmuth and did not present incriminating evidence against him.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 1, 1944
Berlin-Tegel, 1 Nov 44
My dear, tomorrow is Casparchen’s birthday, but I first want to congratulate you on your first little son, for whom you fought so hard. Not only did you persuade me completely, not only would the present moment be far more difficult if I left you without knowing that you would be looking out for one another. No, the point is rather that I absolutely cannot imagine my—our—life without the little sons.1 My love for the little sons has become a part of me, and when I leave this world, I’ll take it with me. My love, you achieved that with a great deal of grit and determination and without any support from your husband. Seven years ago today, I was at Eileen [Power]’s2 home, staying there, and got your telegram on the evening of the 2nd, and on the morning of the 3rd we s
poke on the phone. The ugly little creature in Bonn has now become a little person with such a dear, tender heart that one cannot be grateful enough to be in the company of something like him. I’m utterly confident that when I leave you, you’ll be the beneficiary of his baptismal verse,3 and he’ll be a blessing for you. May God preserve his good heart in the face of all the wounds a heart like this must suffer.
My dear love, today I was very happy again, and kept warm by your presence in this house. That was quite beautiful. You are very close by, my dearest.—If I now get my written defense behind me, I’ll be set. I get the feeling that my insides are prepared for both battle and defeat; I have said my goodbyes to everyone, I have had my debts waived, I have the certainty that we will stay together and that you will not lose me either, I feel so ready to go.—I want to point out two more things to you: Luke 10:38–42 and hymn 296. Goodbye, my love, now for this night, but if need be, for this world as well. May the Lord watch over you.
J.
1. Helmuth recalls his earlier refusal to have children; see Freya’s letter of September 29, 1944, note 6.
2. Helmuth was in England staying with Power on the day of Caspar’s birth.
3. Genesis 12:2: “And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing.” In the farewell letter to his sons, dated October 11, 1944, Helmuth provided a condensed version.
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 2, 1944
Thursday morning
My dear, the document now has Dix’s approval. He didn’t change anything at all, apart from a couple of minor matters we discussed together. I pointed out to him once again that you were looking for harsh criticism and that part II might be cut a bit more, but he said no. Still, he also regards the confession of guilt as an obstacle, and said that Freisler would belabor these kinds of matters. He said, incidentally, that this is an old police tactic. He told me he knows these brief summarizing confessions quite well, and that they always turn out to be ominous, so you absolutely have to mention this issue in the defense statement that Freisler gets. He suggests writing something like this at the end: “May I mention one more thing: I am distressed by the summarizing statement I made on September 25, 1944,1 which I wrote in a state of deep depression, and in the brief summarizing manner desired by the official who was interrogating me, although I’m not intending in the slightest to suggest that he applied any impermissible pressure on me. When I talk about ‘guilt’ in this summary, I am of course referring first and foremost to the accusations leveled against me. In addition, I truly feel guilty in the human sense, on account of the unhappiness I have brought upon myself, my relatives, and my family name. I ask that my explanations at that time be understood in this light; they may conflict with my explanations above strictly in terms of the wording, but not in the meaning given here.” I’m not sure whether that really belongs after part I or ought to go at the end. By all means, go ahead and make changes to the rationale and the diction, since you know the details of the background story; this is just to show the thrust of the defense.—We all consider the letter to Müller a bad one, in both form and content. And it’s still too deferential. Here’s what’s left of it now that we’ve worked on it:
Gruppenführer! Attached please find the defense document that you kindly agreed to forward to the People’s Court. I ask you to bear in mind that I have no knowledge of the accusations that have been made against me.
Even if it should prove necessary to present new perspectives after the indictment has been scrutinized, the basis of my defense remains the same: that I haven’t violated any duties of allegiance.
You have accused me of not having taken the initiative to pass along to you what I knew after July 20th. I was quite horrified to learn about the events of July 20th in the daily newspaper. But once the deed was done, and every detail of the guilt of those involved had been made known to the Gestapo, I thought there would be even less of a question regarding any obligation on my part to inform the authorities. It will be understandable that I had misgivings about taking the initiative of communicating my knowledge of the above-mentioned details to the Gestapo back then. I was hesitant to get involved in this matter—innocently, in my view.
I personally am not sure whether that is quite right with respect to the content. I’m formulating it that way, but you can of course change it again. In any case, Dix also thought that your letter ought to broach the subject of your disloyalty to the SS again, but not say too much. He kept telling me that you shouldn’t admit to anything, that you shouldn’t be pinned down.
My love, I slept at the friends’ house! That, too! So I went to bed just after 10. That’s how tired I was. He has to leave right away, so I’ll just say quickly: The indictment won’t go out before the 13th. Another respite! Why, we ask in delight! On the 10th I’m supposed to see Schulze again. Then he may grant me a face-to-face meeting!! Only if I had good reasons!! “But you do have an estate . . .” So it’s quite likely!—I don’t think Frau Reisert knows much. I saw her only briefly, but today again between 1 and 2. He, Reisert, did not incriminate you in any event, but she doesn’t know about Sperr.
My love is great and my time is brief. Yesterday I had a very heavy schedule, not today, today only Steengracht. In the evening I was too tired to write. There is much in my heart, much love, happiness, and gratitude. You know that! Forever yours, P.
1. At other points, Helmuth dates this to September 28 or 29; see, for example, his following letter, dated November 2, 1944; see also his letter of December 10–12, 1944, which indicates that he may have been interrogated under the influence of administered drugs on various days.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 2, 1944
2 Nov 44
My love, what a surprising new respite. It is very valuable, especially for the issue of Carl Viggo [von Moltke]–Bürkner. Don’t let anyone rush you, not even your husband. It is even more important for matters of this kind to be done well than to be done quickly. Especially don’t see Bürkner without Haus.1 No one else is reliable. Just don’t be too modest in asking for other people’s time. Since we have never asked anything of anyone, we can now easily afford to be somewhat demanding.
So, now I feel totally prepared. The unfortunate statement on September 29 just has to be taken in stride. Given the infinite number of obstacles that will likely trip me up, one more won’t really make any difference. Regrettably, I have an unfortunate compulsion for objectivity that always makes me see the opposing point of view. That is hardly beneficial for these proceedings. Well, God is able to accomplish what He wishes with even the most unsuitable instruments, and I have no desire to change.
My love, the prospect of a face-to-face meeting is heavenly.—But if it doesn’t work out, that is fine too. When all is said and done, we don’t need it, and we don’t need Herr Schulze.
Goodbye, my love; I take you in my arms. May God watch over you. J.
1. A loyal fellow employee at the international bureau of the Abwehr, the German intelligence organization.
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 2, 1944
Thursday morning
My Jäm, now somewhat more detail about Herr Schulze. I have no idea why the completed indictment is in the safe and an adviser has to be called up and then I’m given the information that it will definitely not be handed over before the 13th, and on the 10th I can come back, at which point he’ll have a clear idea, although a delay might still be possible then. I asked that if it did take so long, might it be possible for me to talk to you? Yes, he explained, but it would depend on the reasons, which would have to seem sufficient to him, but I have an estate, and that could easily yield something. No, not just yet, but perhaps next week there could be permission for us to talk. I was told that I shouldn’t come for it as early as Tuesday, but rather wait until Friday. Once again he was very polite to me, almost friendly, but he is a stony individual.—At the moment I’m sitting outside quietly, and now that I’v
e sewn my dress, I’m sitting at the desk reading your letters again. I don’t think you’ve been so ungrateful. I actually find that gratitude can’t be expected from very young people. They have to grab at everything that comes their way as a matter of course. Gratitude is a feeling that comes with maturity. My love, be grateful that this beautiful feeling is being bestowed on us so abundantly now at such a difficult stage. And you are grateful, so pay no attention to ingratitude; instead, take pleasure in your gratitude!—My Jäm, it is my heart’s desire, too, for you always to continue to be allowed and able to keep me warm. It’s all up to me, but I’m often afraid as to how I can manage to keep you close to me. Ulla [Oldenbourg] was able to do it, but she is a far more intellectual person than I and has lived a life of the mind. And what about me!! I could, but I don’t, or rather, I do too much. Oh, my Jäm, what a task.
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