Last Letters

by Helmuth Caspar von Moltke

  Please think over what reasons I should be presenting in getting permission for a face-to-face visit. It has to be the kind of thing that can be taken care of only in person. I have the balances of all of our bank accounts with me, the estimate for the new crops, our old financial statement, which I worked hard on yesterday. I’ve thought about saying that I couldn’t figure out the various bank accounts and the money transfers into them and needed clarification from you as to what kind of money was where, and what kind of money transfers. Yes, I understand you so well when you say that we ultimately don’t need Herr Schulze, I agree with you completely, but if Herr Schulze only knew what happiness it would give me, no, us, my love, to look at each other, he wouldn’t grant me the permission, because he wouldn’t want us to have that, since he regards you as an enemy of the state. My Jäm, what happiness it would be for me to see your beloved face and your hands. Oh, how I feel my love for you as I write this!

  It’s now—That is where I went to bed, and now I’m sitting at the friends’ home on Tuesday morning. I’ve barely read anything, but I fear that he has to leave right away. So in addition to my love, I’m just quickly sending you the news that Sack has long since been arrested,1 so Dix is the one who remains for me to go see.

  1. Sack had been arrested on August 9, 1944.

  HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 7, 1944

  Tegel, 7 Nov 44

  My love, Carl Viggo [von Moltke] will likely be coming tomorrow, and then we’ll know whether Freisler will see him at all and what he’ll say. I’m eager to find out.

  I’m continuing to do quite well. Yesterday your November 2 letter arrived.1 I think I’d forgotten to tell you that I sent Casparchen a second birthday letter by way of the People’s Court; I thought that was the right thing to do.2—Yesterday afternoon I read two beautiful Proverbs. I find that one verse brings me pleasure on a given day, and on a different day it’s another. Yesterday it was Proverbs 14:32 and 15:15.3 The great appeal of all spiritual truths is their everlasting nature, regardless of whether they’re two or 2,000 years old. And considering how quickly everything else gets outdated, it’s hard to grasp why the humanities are in such a bad state and so less highly valued than any form of technology. This is not a recent development; it was already the case when I was a university student and most likely before 1914 and even before the turn of the century. The heyday of the humanities came to an end with the end of restraint, and now technology dominates us. Will our little sons be part of the generation in which the tide turns back once again? It is truly high time! Why didn’t we see that for what it was long ago? I’ve basically always had an antitechnological disposition, but as a student I didn’t realize that, otherwise I’d have studied differently and explored different subjects. I had a clear understanding only of the negative side but not of the need to drill down with all our might to the depths of the humanities and pierce through to its buried source. At least one generation, and maybe even a second, will pass before that can bear fruit, and if we’re being honest, there is no beginning in sight as yet. We can embrace the hard times that lie ahead if they serve to show us the path to our goal. But will they? It always strikes me as so familiar when I read how Judah or Israel are punished for abandoning the Lord and following other gods made of wood or metal. Might we, too, have to go through Babylonian captivity for seventy years? The truth is that the first commandment is the key to everything else. Christ does say so [in] Matthew 22:34–40, Mark 12:28–34, and Luke 10:25–28 as well, but we must continually bear in mind that any devotion to God’s creatures can be idolatry. In any creation, be it physical or mental, you can love only the creator; loving a human being, a nation, an idea for its own sake, even in the most sublimated form, is idolatry and violates the first commandment. Can that be taught to children and teenagers? I used to regard as foolish old fables all the stories about Baal4 and Ashtoreth and all the other deities the ancient Jews fell for, because no one really explained their symbolic content to me. The first commandment seemed natural and unproblematic to me, and difficult only for the ancient Jews, because we wouldn’t even be tempted to pray to other gods, apart from Mammon and the belly. Gradually this commandment fell into place for me, but it was only in Ravensbrück that its key role became clear. It is the commandment of all commandments: if we truly bear that in mind, we may go astray in all the other commandments, but we’ll always find the proper corrective. But if you go astray in the first one, you’re unlikely to notice the rest.

  My love, I’ve been chatting on and on, don’t have anything else to write other than that you delight me, that I have every reason to thank the Creator for you, that I love you, my dear, and can only pray that the Lord may hold you in His hand and watch over you, with and without J.

  1. Presumably the official letter Freya mentions on November 3.

  2. To avoid suspicion of the ongoing clandestine correspondence.

  3. Proverbs 14:32: “The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death.” Proverbs 15:15: “All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.”

  4. Baal was a heathen deity. Freya remarks on the unshaken reverence of Nazi believers in their false god.

  FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 8, 1944

  Wednesday afternoon

  My dear love, yesterday you wrote me all kinds of beautiful things, which I enjoyed so much. I also quite like what you write about the humanities. What is likely to come of everything that matters so much to us? My disposition is of course also quite nontechnological, and I’ve often wondered whether that isn’t a major shortcoming of ours and could become dangerous for our children. It is clearly a task for the future to redress the overemphasis on technology, but that is possible only after a certain process of digestion, and when it comes to the two of us, I get the feeling that our nontechnological disposition won’t even let us digest it because we won’t consume it in the first place. That is a mistake.

  My dearest, I’d wanted to take care of the factual part first, and instead I dove right into enjoyable musings. So now I’ll get to the report: We want to get to Sperr by way of Frau Reisert, who already made a meal for him today and sent greetings. Frau Reisert knows the practices at Lehrter Str. quite well, and I think she can be entrusted with that.—I was at the 1st court. Freisler had a trial, and his friendly secretary said that it was not customary for him to meet with anyone before the trial. I said I would sign up in writing, but then I left it alone so as not to take away the opportunity from Carl Viggo [von Moltke]. All we know is that Carl Viggo also has to show up there “on his own behalf” if he is to be at all successful. And I’m quite skeptical as to whether he will be. Additionally, on Friday there is certainly a trial, but the order of the visits doesn’t seem too important to me. Yesterday afternoon I spoke to Oxé, Haus, and Pfuel in the department; the latter (not my case) acted self-important and hardworking, but also fully involved, to the extent that his own interest allows for that, while Oxé and Haus are truly devoted and concerned. 1. I tried to tell Haus how he should brief Bürkner today at noon as far as you’re concerned. He said to me in regard to this point that there was no doubt that Bürkner considers you an outstanding, or, as he said, important worker, and that your possible death would “upset him greatly.” 2. They considered the idea of going through Keitel a bad, very bad one; he would surely do nothing at all, they said, other than alternating between trembling and “hollering ‘July 20th.’” So after a lengthy back-and-forth, they suggested sending the clemency appeal via: Bürkner, Hewel, Hitler. But we ought to discuss that with Bürkner. Steengracht could also put in a word with Hewel, whom I hadn’t heard of. They also heaped praise on this man Hewel and said that the Führer listens to him. That’s where we are now. Carl Viggo will come on Friday at 8, and then we’ll see. I’ve forgotten to mention that during the visit at the court, I was sent to a very unpleasant Saxon senior administration official regarding an attorney’s ques
tion. He said right away that Dix was out of the question, and there were only seven eligible names. I could choose one of them, he explained, and he would designate him the official attorney. Dix is for Hercher1: He’s reputable but elderly. Frau Reisert’s office manager praised Hugo Bergmann. Fundamentally the choice is between these two. But now I’m determined to write another letter to Freisler next week about this issue, when things with Carl Viggo are complete. I want to try to see Freisler, even though it’s unlikely that I’ll be able to.

  What you write about the first commandment is very much on my mind. You’re quite right. Sometimes I used to think about how I wasn’t able to love God the way I love you. That seems very difficult to me, although I’ve made great progress. I was always aware that a very great, strong love carries within it the hazard of limiting one’s ability to love God or other people. But I never saw it as clearly as you describe it.

  Now, my Jäm, I’ll head off to bed. It’s 9:30 again, and the friends should be getting to bed early. I’ll send you the Steengracht text. Good night, my Jäm, my love, my beloved. I’m sending you a tender embrace. I am and will forever remain your P.

  1. The attorney Wolfgang Hercher.

  HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 8, 1944

  Tegel, 8 Nov 44

  My dear, that is quite a delicious turkey! You got it to mature quite quickly, or was it an emergency slaughter? Can you eat an animal like that every Sunday? That would certainly help us out quite nicely.—You know, our apples are so incomparably better—in both taste and nutrition—than any that Poelchau brings me that it is downright astonishing. They are so beautifully uniform. It is a true joy and likely a result of the way we’ve cared for them. If you can remain in the Berghaus, you definitely ought to take up bird care, then you’ll get splendid fruit.—Now back to a concrete issue that occurred to me. I might be asked whom I told why I need the information of a macroeconomic, etc., nature. I actually told quite a number of people. I think I should name Carl Dietrich [von Trotha] and Einsiedel. It won’t put them in any more danger because I was asked to provide detailed information about those two a full three months ago, and I assume that the district attorneys are waiting for my trial before deciding whether they want to arrest them. That’s why I think it won’t entail any additional risk. On the other hand, however, it improves their defense quite significantly if they can say it was for my work at the Armed Forces High Command.

  Before my execution I’ll still have a chance to write you a letter. I don’t know for certain whether I will make use of that, especially because it isn’t certain whether you’ll receive it. All these letters that go through the censorship are somewhat untruthful, and I can imagine that I won’t want to write you a slightly fraudulent letter at a time like that. So don’t draw any conclusions from the fact that there is no letter or that there is one that strikes you as distorted or troubled. Everything has been said between us, my love, it wouldn’t contain anything new. If I should happen to think of a turn of phrase that is true and persuasive, yet would pass censorship, I’ll certainly write it. It may also be that I write because I’m afraid that it will attract attention if I don’t, or because that’s the only way that the guard sitting next to me will leave me alone and not disturb me. It’s not as though I can recite Psalms aloud in his presence, which would certainly be my preference. For all intents and purposes, I believe, my love, that I will already have left you in that moment and can seek you only in God. I’ve given that a great deal of thought, and I wish I could anticipate my death mentally, so to speak, and not push it away in my thoughts, but instead turn to what lies ahead. Maybe this is all nonsense, and maybe we’re so caught up in the procedures and operations that we’re unable to think of anything else; or maybe the reality or rather the unreality of the process is so enormous that any preparation blows away like dust. I don’t know, and no one can tell someone else, because it’s bound to be different with each of us. I’m writing this to you only so that you don’t draw any wrong conclusions.

  Well, they’re now getting me for my haircut. Farewell, my love. May the Lord watch over you and us, and, should it please Him, may He save my life. J.

  FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, NOVEMBER 9, 1944

  Thursday afternoon

  My dear, not much happened today, but Gentz, the old criminologist, has advised me to go with Hercher, as Dix has. He told me he’s worked with him. Pfuel has yet to comment. Marion [Yorck] was very impressed back then by the humane way he conducted himself. He is what is referred to as an elderly gentleman, someone who surely lacks Dix’s stature and skill and quick-wittedness. But I don’t think we’ll get him. I’ll have to decide soon. Then I spoke to Haus on the telephone again, who isn’t leaving for the west until today, and he told me he spoke to Bürkner yesterday over lunch. Bürkner evidently already knows that we’re coming with the petition, has approved of the approach via Hewel, and is prepared to take over its delivery. Haus said he wanted to tell me that “to ease my mind.” It was also gratifying to learn that Bürkner said he already knew that Steengracht was prepared to support the matter wholeheartedly. I am quite pleased that this worked out without my putting in an additional appearance. Now things can start tomorrow. Lansstr.1 at 3:30. Bürkner and Dix at 5. In the morning an attempt to get to see Freisler, while I visit Schulze. But I’m sure that Freisler has a trial. First Carl Viggo [von Moltke] will come here to have breakfast, and then we will likely type up the draft of the plea. I’m somewhat fearful how all this will work out.

  My love, when I think about how you are now standing by me with such fortitude, come what may, equipping me for the road that lies ahead for us, how strength and serenity and confidence flow from you to me, I’m not only full of admiration that you can do this but I also get a definite feeling of how God’s strength, God’s peace, and His love reside within you. Yes, we will remain united and close, and we will live on and find each other again and belong to each other forever, but dying is hard nevertheless, and one always faces death alone. I’m not supposed to go with you quite yet, my beloved dear, but maybe the executioner wouldn’t really be able to kill you because the right side has to stay alive!2 As God wills, my love. I’d like to keep my hopes up because I find it too wonderful to live with you, and we can also keep our hopes up ever so slightly because we want to fight—and gladly. My Jäm, I love you so much. I’ve loved you passionately for so long. I still understand why I was moved to tears—which Mami and Asta [Wendland] didn’t understand—when I had to be apart from you before our wedding. Everything in life seemed pointless if it wasn’t at your side. Since then I’ve learned that physical closeness is not what matters most—it also matters because we are such weak creatures, but it’s not the only thing that counts—but my life still seems pointless to me if it isn’t connected with yours. Back in Grundlsee, I already, and instantly, felt that I existed for you. I believed in the blade of grass around your left thumb. That’s how it is. May God help me go on truly loving you! I’m sending you tender embraces and saying what you’ve known for a long time and what I still say again and again from the bottom of my heart: I am and will remain your P.

  1. Helmuth’s former office at Tirpitzufer had been relocated to the school on Lansstrasse due to bomb damage.

  2. Refers to Helmuth’s dream about the Siamese twins; see his letter of October 26, 1944.

  HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, NOVEMBER 9, 1944

  Tegel, 9 Nov 44

  My dear, what delicious things you brought me yesterday! That was truly splendid. In any case, your gluttonous husband is greatly enjoying them. Herr Gissel1 was also quite delighted and very obliging, which made me think that he expected something from these packages as well. But he’s a kind old man.

  One month ago, I was quite nervous about the oral trial. Not only did I not see how it could turn out—I don’t see that today either—but I was also in a state of complete uncertainty about how to defend myself, indeed, if I’m being honest, whether I ought to make any serious at
tempt at defending myself. I have Pim, Poelchau, and above all the dear Lord to thank for that getting better, and I’m now calmly awaiting the trial. I now have to remain in this state of mind. I don’t know whether anything substantive depends on this trial, even in its indirect effects; maybe it’s just one of those maintenance stops, stops at which the conductor has to ring the bell, but getting on and off is not allowed. Still, that’s not the point: I simply have to try to convey at least the impression that I’m espousing a reasonable opinion. Of course this would all be far easier if I weren’t fighting for my life but only for the matter at hand; the combination is what’s making it so hard. But I’m now quite confident. I have the feeling that the trial will have some surprises in store for me, things I’m unaware of, maybe statements from Goerdeler, maybe from Leuschner. Well, I’ll have to wait and see, it’s just an unfair game, but I always knew that: with your right hand tied behind your back, you’re supposed to defend yourself against attacks from many sides without having the slightest idea in advance where they might come from; and the key witnesses are dead, which means that their incriminating statements can’t be combated effectually, and their exonerating statements can’t be extracted. Goerdeler as a witness will say nice things about me; rumor has it that he undoubtedly knows more about me than I do.