Incidentally, don’t come to see me on the last day, because it’s always possible that I will be brought in for questioning. Farewell, my love, I want to snooze. Sleep well. May the Lord watch over you and us. J.
1. In his defense statement, Helmuth claimed that the Gestapo knew about Carl Friedrich Goerdeler’s activities and there was thus no obligation to report him.
2. Helmuth hoped that the People’s Court would regard him as an idealistic theorist.
3. The die is cast.
4. In March 1944, at the Ravensbrück concentration camp, Helmuth wrote two letters to the Gestapo in connection with the interrogations about the Solf Circle and Otto Carl Kiep. See Helmuth James von Moltke, Im Land der Gottlosen: Tagebuch und Briefe aus der Haft 1944/45, edited by Günter Brakelmann (Munich: C. H. Beck, 2009), 98 and 103.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, DECEMBER 17, 1944
Berlin, 17 Dec 44
My dear, at 5:30 I lit my candles on the branch, spread a bit of good fragrance by burning a twig, set up and lit the long candle behind me, switched off the electric light, read, sang, or whistled either Advent hymns or Christmas songs and just stared at the candle, and during this whole time had fond and tender thoughts of you and the little sons, picturing all of you singing with all the other children. Eventually I put out the big candle and watched the candle on the branch burn out. Only then did I write the Christmas letter to Casparchen, and you see what I’m doing now.—This evening was very nice and will remain so, and I appreciate that especially because I had a “weary” day, mentally weary. I wasn’t actually sad; it was just that my head, heart, and soul no longer wanted to play along; they didn’t want to do anything at all, and that is always bad, because the vacuum that results is inevitably filled with thoughts of the trial and its utter hopelessness and of the military situation, which doesn’t offer a ray of hope one way or another either.1 That is always very dangerous, because that is the upper end of a slippery slope. Can you picture a “weary” day: the way I feel at moments like this, I’d like to stay fast asleep right up to the trial; anything but once again going to the intellectual effort of tackling the material and presenting it comprehensibly, anything but once again having to produce a readiness to fight alongside my readiness to die; just nothing more until the time has come.
As far as other things are concerned, I am being ungrateful, because the day has had two more highlights: Poelchau came again, as he now does every Sunday; and then he brought a letter. Poor Poelchau cut his upper lip quite dreadfully, but he seems to have avoided major damage. The letter made me very happy, my love. I’m tremendously pleased about the baptismal and confirmation verses. Both are part of my basic repertoire, and I’ve recited them to myself many hundreds of times in the course of this year without knowing they were my verses. Have you also noticed that my confirmation verse is closely allied with little Konrad’s baptismal verse2 spatially, and spiritually even more? In any case, the two are especially beautiful verses, and I now feel so close to them.
I don’t think I entirely accept what you write about your function in my life, which has an overestimation in my favor. But I don’t want to say anything more about that, because I know myself less than ever before today. At the moment I don’t understand myself, and the more I have seen of myself under pressure, the less I’m able to make rhyme or reason out of myself, to be honest. If I die, I’ll have to rely on grace anyway, and won’t have to grapple with my own mysteries; should the Lord preserve me, all this will once again shift and fit into some sort of framework.
My love, may He watch over you and us. J.
1. This assessment could be referring to the Battle of the Bulge, which had begun the previous day; it was the last attempt by the Germans to penetrate the ring of the Allies in the west. The phrase “one way or another” is in English in the original German text.
2. 1 Corinthians 16:13: “Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong.”
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, DECEMBER 18, 1944
18 Dec 44
Good morning, my love. Did you have a very bad night? I shudder at the prospect of this journey for you and always think that with all the strain you’re under during this time, this trip will take a lot out of you. Just get a good rest. I’ll now write you the opening lines of the indictment; that will be enough for you to get a sense of its tone:
Count von Moltke has been an enemy of the National Socialist Reich all along. Given his strong church affiliations and owing to his bizarrely mixed, partly federalist, partly reactionary, partly Marxist views, he has for years been an unrestrained defeatist, and has been able, since 1940, to gather a series of opponents of the state of various schools of thought around him. This circle was composed of members of the nobility, such as Yorck, Schulenburg, Schwerin, Haeften, Trott, Einsiedel, Trotha, and Husen1; clergymen from both Christian denominations, such as Delp, König, Rösch, Gerstenmaier, and Steltzer, who have deep ties to the church; and old Marxists and union officials, such as Mierendorff, Leuschner, Maass, Reichwein, and Haubach. Moltke repeatedly brought together his politically like-minded friends in the years 1941 to 1943 for gatherings that often lasted several days at his estate in Kreisau, where numerous political issues were discussed in deliberate opposition to National Socialism and were markedly defeatist in outlook. Over the course of time, he endeavored, more and more doggedly, and with evident success, to align the participants in these meetings, who had initially shown up with highly diverse opinions, to come together in solidarity and agree on a single platform that reflected the subversive view he was advocating. In addition to the meetings in Kreisau there were numerous smaller discussions on the same subject with different sets of participants in Berlin, at the Moltkes’ and Yorcks’ apartments, and in Munich. In all these meetings—the number of which can no longer be determined—Moltke relentlessly propagated the idea that Germany would definitely lose the war and hence the Führer and National Socialism would be removed. He went on to explain that it was imperative to prepare for this time right now, and toward that end to set up an emergency and safety-net program. He thus developed the following plan: In lieu of National Socialism as the foundation of the People’s Community, the Christian churches of both denominations would become the organizational elements that would outlast the political events of the moment.
I didn’t get any further in that passage. Afterward there’s another awful passage concerning Steltzer, which says:
In the late spring of 1943, Steltzer, on behalf of Count von Moltke, held a meeting at the apartment of Father Delp in Munich, in which Dr. Mierendorff, Rösch, Reisert, and Fugger also participated. In his introductory remarks, Steltzer explained that in response to instructions by Count von Moltke, he would be contributing a report about the military situation from the viewpoint of the Armed Forces High Command . . . (conclusion: war lost). Moltke was also envisioning a German defeat, which would be tantamount to the downfall of the National Socialist regime. To prepare for this eventuality, he found it essential to set up a structural plan right now. The idea was for a popular general to serve as a Reich administrator to try to salvage the situation. Then there would need to be people in all the provinces . . . Strictly federalist constitution with considerable autonomy for the constituent states. Moltke’s ideas could be realized only in the framework of a military dictatorship.
It would be important to inform Reisert about this rubbish, and Steltzer if possible. But it’s crucial to come up with some kind of sign with Steltzer and Sperr to indicate that they received the secret messages, even if they can’t give any response.
Farewell, my dear love, I want to get a little work done for my new meeting with Hercher. May the Lord watch over you and us. J.
1. Helmuth wrote “Hülsen,” which was undoubtedly an oversight.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, DECEMBER 18–19, 1944
Tegel, 18 Dec 44
How was your trip? Poelchau hasn’t had any news, but it occurred to me that you though
t he was in Brandenburg, and maybe that’s why you didn’t get in touch with him. It would be quite annoying if you had to spend the night in Liegnitz. I suppose I’ll get news tomorrow morning. I imagine you’ll be coming for a face-to-face meeting tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or Thursday, and I’m already looking forward to that very much. How wonderful, my dear. Don’t forget to mark my forehead with little crosses at the end. You did that back in Grundlsee, and if the Lord intends for me to go to the gallows, I want to go with a little cross from Pim.
My love, can you bring me another fresh evergreen branch for Christmas? They get full of dust so quickly here and turn gray instead of green. The Christmas celebration is at 2 here, and you’ll probably be setting things up just then, for a tiny Christmas, since Asta [Wendland] will likely be in Breslau too, or will it be possible to get Wend [Wendland] to Kreisau?
My love, I have nothing more to write but that I have to keep cautioning you to bear in mind that I am absolutely certain of ending up at the gallows, according to all human insight, so all the accomplishing and doing and running in the world will not entitle us to get our human hopes up. The only thing we can do is pray, and God determines it the way He wishes, regardless, and He can save me; we can pray for Him to want this. But in addition, my dear love, I can remind you that He gave us the certainty that no death can part us and that we are ultimately one single idea of divine creation. That’s how it is, that’s how it was, and that’s how it remains. J.
19 Dec 44
At night the following occurred to me. A tough battle may flare up about the extent to which the fact that the Abwehr and police knew the situation can work as a defense if Freisler doesn’t simply say they didn’t know, basta!, in order to dodge this discussion. How does Dix assess the situation if it cannot be regarded as verifiable that the police knew, but it is established that the Abwehr did? Even on Friday, Lange didn’t deny to me that the Abwehr knew. Isn’t a member of the Wehrmacht1 automatically exonerated if he knew that the military authority in charge was informed? Does he have to notify the police on top of that? Might there be rulings on these issues that you could read up on?—Furthermore: How much can I take cover behind Haubach’s notification2 if it is established that he went to the police on my behalf or in accordance with me? Can you please go over these questions in detail and quite technically with Dix and write up a report for me? We’re well aware that this is not really about an issue of jurisprudence, but even so, it’s better to have precise knowledge of the legal framework. I’ll have them give me the Dalcke that they keep here in the library.3 Please give Dix a good kick in the pants to make sure he does it carefully, even though he’s not representing me. I have the impression that this issue will trigger the fiercest battle.
Farewell, my love, I’ll be waiting for news once again. I hope you’re well and strong. J.
1. Helmuth was a member of the Wehrmacht by virtue of his work at the Armed Forces High Command.
2. Theodor Haubach had filed a notification with the security services in 1943; see Helmuth’s letter of December 21, 1944.
3. Albert Dalcke, Strafrecht und Strafverfahren (Criminal Law and Criminal Proceedings), a compilation of the key laws of criminal law and criminal proceedings, which had numerous print runs.
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, DECEMBER 17–18, 1944
Sunday evening
My dear, I’m curious how the writing will be on this curly paper. Casparchen left this pad on his sled, and a friend of his let the sled slide into the ditch on the bridge near the pine trees, so the first sheets got wet, though only the first ones. But Casparchen had attached great importance to bringing the pad up himself. It was a beautiful winter’s day with a warm sun and blue sky and now in the evening bright stars; there was also a thin covering of snow, but still thick enough for both little sons to come along on the sled and for Casparchen to go outside after lunch and disappear into the sun on skis, sliding around quite happily. You can well imagine, my poor dear love, how beautiful Kreisau looked. I didn’t go very far—just from the Berghaus to the farmyard and to Sister Ida [Hübner]—but everything was bright and beautiful. In the farmyard there is great sorrow: Krause is missing. No sooner was he at the front than he went missing, and nothing is known about his whereabouts. Plätschke, who was drafted with him in September, was killed in action, and Kammel from Wierischau is missing too. Poor Frau Krause is distraught and unhappy, and rightly so. There is very little to say that would be of comfort to her. It is surely quite a consolation for her to know that I have grave concerns too. While the boys were playing in the sun with their sled in front of the Schloss, I had a long conversation at Ida’s with her, Frau Krause, and Frau Rose. All three were touching and full of genuine devotion to you. I learned that Gustav asks about you in every letter. They say you always helped everyone, that they grew up with you here, and so on and so forth. No one says anything bad. I got a lovely goose for the Poelchaus there and then twenty little brown eggs, fifteen of which I have here in my bag for my Jäm. My dear, I’m looking forward to the visit with you so very much and will try to come tomorrow. My Jäm, how splendid is the prospect of seeing you. The thing I don’t love about Kreisau is that for me it’s much harder there, at times impossible, to give you my full, undivided attention. That is obvious, because there’s too much to do, and once I’m there, I do want to keep everything together and use the time for the children and for everything. I know that you are always within me, I don’t lose you for a second, and the connection to you sometimes arises consciously in me with a warm certainty that makes me happy, but that’s not enough for me now. I want to live focused on you in a more concentrated way, and I can only do that here.
I also have to tell you that Romai [Reichwein] visited me for a while after dinner. Her demeanor is beautiful and dignified and not as closed off as it seems. She is a brave and capable woman. If only she doesn’t harden toward the world, or rather, to her inner self and its possibilities! That is the danger. She needs to manage it for the sake of her composure, for she suffers greatly from her grief. Marion [Yorck] is far more open, and continues to be deeply connected to Peter [Yorck], while for Romai, the separation seems to be much harsher. She’s looking for work, Marion for contemplativeness, which is quite a significant difference.
Good night, my dear love, good night. I’m so glad to be close by again. Sleep well, my love, safe and secure. You know whose I am, and although there’s nothing new between us, the old is good and strong. I’m sending you a tender embrace. I am and will forever remain your P.
HELMUTH JAMES TO FREYA, DECEMBER 19, 1944
Tegel, 19 Dec 44
My dear, now the precious half hour has been added to our possessions, and how it differed from the earlier ones! They were alike in only one regard: This one, too, was exhilarating and wonderful. My love looked quite well and fine, not exhausted, not overworked. My love, for me, the main difference between these and the earlier face-to-face meetings was that from the first to the last moment, I had not just the will but the complete certainty that I would live on with you. I’m writing all this to you only because I feel certain that it won’t build up your hopes; I can’t tell you where this certainty came from, whether it was from above or from the creaturely will to live that is always stirred up powerfully by the sight of you. And it doesn’t make the least bit of difference, because I’m too certain that I have to blindly entrust myself to God’s guidance and that He has no intention of revealing to me in advance where He wishes to lead me. Because I know this with such certainty, I believe there won’t be any setbacks.
So, getting right to corrections regarding my statements about my health: Today the pain is almost nonexistent as long as I stay bent over. The need to stay bent over is real, the report about pain was tinged ad usum Delphini.1
My dear, your news from Kreisau made me so happy, because on the whole all sounds good.—Now to Romai [Reichwein]. Please tell her that we are all greatly pained by Master Reichwein’s death and our
pain is not alleviated in the slightest by the fact that we probably have to follow behind, no, it’s really not. Tell her, too, that we know quite well that this is far worse for the wives than it is for us, and we can only pray that they maintain a sense of peace within them and that all of our wives stick together as well as they can, transmit our spiritual inheritance, and help our children gain a proper outlook regarding their fathers’ executions, as hatred or resistance aren’t tolerable attitudes. We don’t know, of course, how what we wanted will be judged one day, we don’t know whether the seed will sprout despite our death or perhaps for that very reason; we have to wait and see.
My love, this is the Christmas letter for an odd Christmas. Divine providence has kept me alive, while I normally would likely have been killed about three hours ago, and, God willing, I’ll still be alive for Christmas. I wish you, our sons, your house, and everyone who is a part of it a merry Christmas celebration. This year, the celebration will mean more to us than ever before, because we know far more exactly than before what this birth means for us, for you, for me and the little sons.—I, my love, will certainly celebrate a merry Christmas, and will not be melancholy on Friday afternoon or on Sunday at 2 during our celebration, but instead will happily think of all of you.
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