Love, love, love, my beloved Jäm; I will forever remain your P.
I carried you so securely with me. That was quite beautiful to feel.
1. Matthew 24:19.
2. With the trains unable to reach the urban center, Freya switched to the S-Bahn, part of Berlin’s public transit system, on the outskirts of the city.
3. Schooling collapsed due to teachers being conscripted for military service
FREYA TO HELMUTH JAMES, JANUARY 23, 1945
Tuesday noon
My dear love, to address the Prost issue, I’ll first read through your long, beautiful letter again and answer the questions as they arise there. Yes, at least the Reich Ministry of Justice is acting as though they have a say, but I don’t believe it. It is difficult for them not to be able to show mercy, but I really don’t think that they have an alternative, incl. Herr Thierack. After all, Herr Prost and Herr Franke are also there to give us a hearing; that is their so-called duty. They have a copy of the family’s plea for clemency, which Prost and Franke will receive as well. Prost cut off any opportunity I had to present a factual argument and said I could know only bits and pieces, he wasn’t allowed to tell me anything, so this sort of discussion was pointless. He said I should limit what I say to personal remarks. That would allow for all kinds of basic comments, of course, but it seems doubtful to me that they would be given any credence. The way I see it, your petition (arguing for deferral) is something that could make sense only to the SS Reich Leader, but not to anyone else. A halfway measure of that kind surely doesn’t sit well with the judiciary, which thinks only in terms of killing or pardoning. The SS would be more likely to agree simply not to carry out the execution, but in your case, Müller is decidedly against it.—Müller is also aware of the relative significance of Kreisau, for he told me that Goerdeler was nothing but a theorist as well: you’re a traitor, and such people simply have to be eliminated. I forgot to write you recently that the friendly and naïve Ebersberg said: It was only through Goerdeler that we got hold of all this; they had all kinds of lists and we got the complete set of them. But how could they have made those lists! If they hadn’t, we would never have figured out all that (in other words, what they “technically refer to as the Kreisau Circle”)! I have to say that on the whole, they have gained a very accurate picture of everything. So I also get the feeling that none of my (your) little arguments can bring anything into line. (I’ve already told Prost and Franke that you are absolutely unambitious and don’t represent any interests.) In their eyes, you are and will remain a traitor; if you like, you can think of that as a loftier position, but that doesn’t get you far in your pursuit of a pardon—more like the opposite. I’ve already told Prost something along the lines of: We’re not bitter. I told him in so many words that you’ll be dying for something that will definitely outlive you as an individual, which also means that I have no inner conflicts to endure, because I believe it too. I said that on the previous day we’d sat across from each other and didn’t say a single word about it, but we both knew it quite clearly. That was the very highlight of our conversation, and it made an impression on Prost as well: “So then he’ll die a martyr,” he said in earnest. I found that a bit much and quickly replied, “In any event, he’ll die for an ideal.” But you can see that even Herr Prost was actually only speaking in terms of your death. So my Thursday came to an end with the feeling that all my endeavors and undertakings had been in vain, that there was nothing more I could do, and that I’d now have to stop doing things. My dear, dear love, the truth is that our eyes cannot catch sight of any way out from your situation, no matter where they look, nowhere do I see the tiniest spark of hope, unless the SS Reich Leader himself does something, and I consider that unlikely too. No, I don’t see anything. But this past year and these past months have taught us quite palpably, and quite clearly, that this means nothing at all before God, and so we can say: You’re still alive, and as long as you live, there are possibilities for you to stay alive. I’m in a state of mind that I can’t characterize as hope, but I’m calmly planning where your shirts can be washed and where sausage and butter for you can come from if I need to be away, and I’m planning quite long-term without having any real reason to do so, not that I’m full of hope either, but the days from the 9th to the 11th have shown me that I have to live that way, continuing on, with you. How firmly I carry you in me, my love, quite, quite firmly, and with the unwavering certainty that even your death can do nothing to change that. The dear Lord has taught me this, and so have you, my love. Your situation, by contrast, is far more difficult, because you have to conquer a very concrete nervousness every day. This week, at any rate, Thierack is not here yet, and things will surely stay calm. It is easy, of course, to say from the outside what I would like to say, because you are alone with yourself the whole day long, and that is something quite different from my life. Even so I’m asking whether you can’t willfully and consciously switch off any thoughts of a possible execution and just live your life in a cell, which can be quite lively, as in your case it is; whether you can’t stay close to Him in life, yet not anticipate death on a daily basis. Can that be done in the cell? It would be good if you could do that. If you should then be brought in, you’ll still have a lot of time, probably too much, to prepare for the actual death. At any rate, you now still have to live. Is that an impossible wish? I would very much like for you not to get caught up in this virtually unbearable tension. If it should take several more weeks, how are you supposed to endure that! Oh my Jäm, it is amazing how much is now being inflicted on everyone, and people are able to endure so much, particularly when they know that God is with them in spite of it all and knows how difficult it all is. I know, my love, how firmly I am united with you in all this. Yes, if you have to die, Marion [Yorck] and I do have it better than other wives who have lost their husbands for Hitler. I’ve always thought so. In this as well, my love, I know that I am quite, quite firmly united with you!
Now there’s still the big question to answer: Should I go back to Kreisau? Can I stay here? Should I bring the boys here, or to Edith [Henssel]? Actually I won’t be able to do the latter anymore as of Friday. The primary purpose of the restriction on trains is to stop the flow of refugees. How will you be if you don’t hear anything more from us, you don’t see me anymore, and you no longer have the feeling that I am very close by? An essential component of your life would cease to exist, even if it were still possible to arrange for one letter a week, which would be difficult enough. What, my Jäm, should I do? I don’t want to speak of myself at all in this connection, as you are indeed the central person, you and the little sons. What lies ahead? And how will that be? If we become the front, we’ll have to leave in any case. What decisions! If you were no longer alive, I’d hang on to Kreisau even more tightly than I do now. But I have the feeling that we will make up our minds within the next few days. Those back at home are anticipating that I’ll remain for only a brief time and then go back home. In any case, I’ll get permission for another face-to-face meeting now and see to getting something out of Steengracht.
[The letter breaks off here. Freya later added: It did not get to H.]
APPENDIX
Additional Documents
THE FOLLOWING letters are housed at the German Literature Archive in Marbach, as is the full set of the correspondence between Helmuth James and Freya von Moltke, both from the prison period and from the previous years, collected in Letters to Freya.
FROM FREYA VON MOLTKE’S “THE FINAL MONTHS IN KREISAU,” DESCRIBING JANUARY 25, 19451
On January 25, 1945, Marion Yorck and I traveled from Berlin to Kreisau. Edith [Henssel] and Henssel brought us to the train. They had the nicest sandwiches for us, and Marion had a bottle of very old Malaga. The bottle was wrapped in paper or a napkin; it looked like coffee with milk. Marion and I sat close together on a two-person bench in third class. We were traveling against the current of the refugees, so it took us exactly twenty-four hours to ge
t to Kreisau, but in memory it was a good trip. I think we were quite jovial. In Kreisau, no one knew about Helmuth’s death. I found things with Casparchen quite difficult. He was lying in my bed, where he had slept; I sat at the edge. But the feeling passed, and the next morning, when he saw that I was sad, he said, “Because of Pa? Still?!” That was truly a great source of comfort.
FREYA TO HER MOTHER, ADA DEICHMANN, AUGUST 24, 1945
Berlin, 24 August 45
Beloved Meki,
Yesterday I received the first news about you from Eddy Waetjen, which reached me by way of Mr. Gaevernitz. I was very, very happy to hear that you are well, indeed, quite well, and I was told that you had very nice enjoyable circumstances in Godesberg. I hope that’s true. In my heart of hearts, I never feared for you and am reasonably certain that I will find you again in the foreseeable future. I had considered trying immediately to have the British or Americans take me over there with them. But it’s all somewhat cumbersome and takes time, even though I think it’s altogether possible in principle, yet I’m not making the attempt yet, because Silesia is so turbulent that I don’t dare to leave the children and the house alone for long. I have already written to you a couple of times using various means of transport. Did you receive any of that? In any case, things haven’t gone badly at all for me and the little boys during all these months.2 We had everything we needed, and the Berghaus made it through all the storms, untouched and unplundered and unchanged. We spent a little time in the Riesengebirge,3 during which time Marion [Yorck] and Muto Yorck looked after the house all by themselves, but then we went right back, because the Russians arrived both here and there. Nothing happened to us. Still, in the light of the gruesome pandemonium that has overtaken Silesia, I wonder how long the Berghaus can remain such an oasis, and I’m afraid that this won’t work indefinitely. So I came to Berlin. That is a cumbersome process because you have to spend two days sitting in full coal cars. There is no passenger-train connection (I don’t know if you can say: so far), and en route, if you’re unlucky, as many are, bandits rob you of everything—hasn’t happened to me yet—but you get where you’re going. I’ll now try to find a way to send the boys to Sister Helen in Switzerland4 during the winter if necessary. I’m trying in two ways, both of which are good, and I’m hoping for success. I’ll register for residence here, which I can do readily as Helmuth’s wife, and the boys and I can then live here, if need be with Marion Yorck, where I can always be reached: Lichterfelde-West, Hortensienstrasse 50. At the same time I’m trying to get Frau Reichwein’s children to Sweden, so that if the conditions become untenable, we can get the children out quickly. One can always get out, because the Poles are glad to get rid of any Germans.
I’ve discussed my situation with various friends here. Some take the view that I should give up Kreisau as soon as possible. Some think I should try to hold on to it until the final peace talks, because some portion of it could still stay with us. I can’t really make up my mind yet to relinquish the Berghaus to the Poles voluntarily, as it is totally intact and yet so imbued with Moltke life. I’m still waiting for a better way and I think it will come to me. In any case, I have now made contact with the world from here and that was good for me. I was never alone during these months and I think it’s fair to say that I’ll never be truly alone again in my life, since I was able to part from Helmuth in such a beautiful manner, but I would so like to find all of you again, and you in particular, above all others. Poelchau, for instance, is also off in the west, and another man I hold in high regard is considering the idea of heading west as well. All this draws me in that direction, yet on the other hand, the Russians still interest me, and I can’t quite believe that it might actually be impossible to have any real contact with them, as it appears to all of us for the present. They are wild and uncivilized, but generous, unbureaucratic, and with their power very strong people; it’s just that their mentality is so utterly different from ours that they cannot be understood. Besides, their system is too familiar to us, and just as garish as ours.5 That’s the worst part. That they permit me to continue eating potatoes and bread in Kreisau without needing to go out to work in the fields—and I will certainly not do so, because I consider that wrong—is pretty astonishing, seeing as I haven’t had any standing to speak of for quite some time. First it was the Poles and then the Russians that held sway there, but Herr Zeumer is still on the sidelines, and that is quite pleasant.
The atmosphere at the Berghaus is good and appealing. The six merry, carefree children, Frau Pick, and dear Liesbeth, who goes to work in the fields and whose mother, having turned up one day, eats next to nothing and does all the dirty work, Frau Reichwein brimming with energy and efficiency: that is all very pleasant. Marion and Muto were always there from time to time, and are actually the ones who are really close to me. Frau Pick was very bossy; she spoiled Konrad exceedingly and is nervous by nature, so she was often very difficult for me to put up with at a time like this, in spite of all her love and constant work; she also doesn’t get along at all well with Frau Reichwein, who has the living rooms facing the front to live in for herself, but shares the household with us.
Your grandchildren are, I think, delightful little chaps. I, for one, am quite pleased with them. At the same time, I have to say that Helmuth’s death hasn’t changed my attitude toward them. I still have Helmuth securely close to me, so I haven’t felt the need to cling to them with my love, but they are affectionate with me. You know Casparchen’s dear heart. He really takes care of me and is so kind to me when I have a headache or feel unwell. He is a real friend, and the three of us make up a very nice, close-knit little club. Konrad is still peacefully introspective, but far from a serious child. He has become more and more cheerful and has now stopped disavowing his Rhenish blood, but there’s quite a bit of Helmuth in him, which, of course, makes me especially happy. He is determined and acts like a young man, whereas Caspar’s charm lies in his sparkling amiability and warmheartedness. He has become quite the dynamic bundle of energy and wild child. Both of them are very good-looking. Casparchen, who now proudly goes by the name Helmuth and writes that name on his notebooks, has also been getting some schooling, since we have a young, pleasant teacher living with us. She is working as an instructor in the village. At the moment the Poles have closed the school, but I hope we’ll start it again, otherwise we’ll continue in the Berghaus. You see, we’ve come through this period astonishingly, truly astonishingly well. Overall, I have experienced quite a lot of astonishing things since last year, since we last saw each other, and I have been quite uncommonly blessed. Isn’t it a true miracle that I can say this after all that has happened? When everywhere I look, I see the terrible suffering people are experiencing everywhere, I feel quite reticent and humble. Is that also the case where you are, or is it just in the east? One really ought to be utterly unable to endure seeing it, but one does so anyway.
Well, Meki, I’d rather not write more than one sheet. Let’s hope the letter arrives. I’m sending it off with so many warmest thoughts and wishes. My greatest wish is to see you again as soon as possible, but you’ll see: it won’t be much longer. Make sure you get a letter to Berlin with your British friends, and it will certainly get to me in due course. How I would enjoy seeing your dear handwriting in front of me again.
Farewell; give everyone my best regards! I embrace you tenderly and full of longing. On Wednesday I’ll be going to Kreisau again.
Freya
THE INDICTMENT FOR HELMUTH JAMES VON MOLTKE, OCTOBER 11, 19446
THE EXAMINING MAGISTRATE OF THE PEOPLE’S COURT O J 21/44 GRS.181/44 556
Berlin, 11 October 1944
Arrest warrant
1. Count Helmuth von Moltke of Berlin-Lichterfelde-West, former attorney, born Mar. 11, 1907
2. Dr. Theodor Haubach of Berlin-Grunewald, commercial clerk, born Sept. 15, 1896?
3. Dr. Eugen Gerstenmaier of Berlin-Dahlem, consistory councillor, born Aug. 25, 1906
4. Theo
dor Stelzer [sic] of Hamburg, former lieutenant colonel, born Dec. 17, 1885
5. Franz Sperr of Munich, colonel and envoy (ret.), born Feb. 11, 1878
6. Dr. Franz Reisert of Augsburg, former attorney, born June 28, 1889
7. Josef-Ernst Fürst Fugger von Glött of Kirchheim, Bavaria, large-scale farmer, born Oct. 26, 1895
are to be brought in for pretrial custody.
They are charged with having jointly endeavored to alter the constitution of the Reich with force and to rob the Führer of his constitutional power, and in doing so to abet hostile forces within our borders during a war against the Reich.
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