I didn’t miss her use of past tense and my mind churned over the implications. The golden thread that bound their souls had been as clear as day now that I could see that kind of thing. I couldn’t see their actual souls—only the magic tying them together and the overflow that sustained the hounds.
“He gave you a piece of his soul somehow, didn’t he?” I asked. For the first time the idea of their bond didn’t leave me feeling empty. The sensation still lingered, but I knew it was artificial. In fact, I was oddly elated by the discovery, because it gave Deva something she desired more than anything. Something she had more than earned.
“All done,” she said, gently tugging the sarong back down to cover me.
I rolled over and sat up, cautious at first. Deva watched with interest as I flexed my thigh to test the sensation. No pain. Not even a glimmer of discomfort to indicate I’d ever even had a wound.
“You’re a master already,” I said, grinning at her. “Did channeling ursa magic work?”
She sighed and shook her head. “Not even a little, but the dragon magic was enough.”
I scooted to the edge of the seat and dangled my legs over the side. When she took a small step away to dispose of the bloody gauze, I reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her back between my knees. Her eyes met mine and she gave me a wry smile.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I didn’t think you liked me.”
“I didn’t like you. I fucking wanted you. And Ro. Call me a greedy bastard but it hurt that you two were hoarding the love for yourselves.” Her face clouded and I quickly raised two fingers to her lips to halt the spill of apologies I knew she was about to let loose. “It doesn’t matter now, does it? The way you kissed me—I’m pretty sure that doesn’t just mean you’re glad I’m alive. It means you’re choosing me. Tell me if it doesn’t.”
Her strangely variegated eyes were wide and unblinking as I spoke. Gazing into them I was struck by the glow of power just behind her multicolored irises. The colors themselves hadn’t changed, but the outer ring that had previously been a silvery shine now had an orange glow as well. Her dragon soul’s power, I imagined. Would that green inner ring glow if she mated me?
I moved my fingers away from her lips.
She didn’t answer immediately. Instead she let her eyes drift closed and opened her mouth and began to sing to me. All sound and movement around us ceased to exist. There was nothing but the pair of us and the music. My fingertips itched to pluck out a rhythm on my bass guitar, but I satisfied myself by tightening my hold on Deva and closed my eyes so I could immerse myself completely in the song, which my very soul told me was the song she’d been holding back that day in the kitchen, that she had somehow wanted to sing to me all along. If I hadn’t been such a sulky fool.
“How do we do this?” I asked, the second her voice fell quiet again, though the song would never leave my mind for the rest of my life.
“We make love. But Keagan, let Rohan tell you. I don’t know how it works. He does.”
“And Bodhi? Does he have a shot too?” I had to ask, though I restrained myself from blurting out his secret desire. That was up to him to share with her once he got over whatever his goddamn hang-up was. But I could at least plant a seed.
“My nature is a balance of all five races. Rohan shared his soul with me and my dragon magic was awakened. I have every reason to believe the other aspects of my nature will awaken the same way. Human too.”
My earlier certainty about my feelings returned. “You need all of us, don’t you?” Her stricken look made me raise my hands to her cheeks and peer into her eyes. “Why don’t you look happy to have figured this out? This is everything you wanted.”
“You know it’s complicated.”
I snorted. “I know we have a habit of making things more complicated than they really are. What happened to the girl dead set on setting us all up with soul mates? Now that you know you’re the one whose soul can fix us, you’re backtracking?”
“I don’t want to force anyone to do this for me. I’m just happy to know you’re at least okay with it because it’s the only way I know of to fix this.”
She pressed her hand over my stomach, but I knew she meant the bleeding wound in my soul and not the gurgling growl of hunger that had become an insistent presence between us in the last few moments.
“The bite—are you saying that Ro is healed now?”
“Yeah.” She smiled and darted an affectionate look toward the rear of the truck where I could hear Rohan and Bodhi chatting in subdued tones. “He’s all better.”
“Bodhi!” I called, ignoring Deva’s protests. I shot a pointed look back at her. “Why the hell didn’t you say so to start with?”
Bodhi trotted into view, shirtless and sweat drenched. “We good to go?” he asked.
“Soon,” I said. “Deva’s got something to say that might change your mind about sharing her with us.”
“Keagan!” She gave me an irritated stare, then looked apologetically at Bodhi. “I don’t want to pressure anyone. You already said no.”
“Tell me the truth,” Bodhi demanded. “I can’t exactly decide without knowing everything, can I? I already said I’d wait until you explained things. So explain.”
“I don’t want you to bind yourself to me just because it’s the only way to fix you. It is and it isn’t. The truth is that Rohan’s soul wound healed when he shared his soul with me. I think finding a soul mate is the only way to heal you. Choosing me is probably a bad idea though.”
“Why are you a worse choice than anyone else exactly?” Bodhi asked, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at her. I could have kissed him then. She didn’t seem to think she had anything to offer, when I knew for a fact that was wrong.
“You’d have to sacrifice a piece of your soul.”
“Would it heal me or not?”
“Yes, I believe it would. But it doesn’t have to be me. You could find someone who already has a soul, who doesn’t need a piece of yours.”
He regarded her in silence, his gears turning. Behind him, Rohan slammed the tailgate and secured the camper, then came around and stood beside Bodhi, glancing between each of us. Ro seemed more subdued than usual, but if I had to put a word to his demeanor, I’d call him content, despite his look of concern. I was also pretty sure he was inwardly rejoicing at the possibility of a full-on harem, even if he was only a part of it and not the apex.
Finally, Bodhi said, “What about my mom? You planning to make this offer to her? Because if you did then my answer’s a big no way. It would just be . . . creepy to share someone with my mother.”
Deva’s mouth fell open, then she shot a glance at the four hounds who had followed Rohan over and now sat patiently waiting for a command. “We can try to find her a soul mate. Is that what you want?”
“What she needs comes first. I don’t think I can give you an answer one way or the other until I know she’ll be safe.”
Deva’s shoulders straightened and she gave him a short nod. “I’ll do everything I can for her.”
When she turned back to me her face was clouded with worry. I grabbed her elbow before she could climb into the backseat of the cab. “You and me. We’re doing this right? As much as I’d love Bodhi in on it too, I don’t want to wait.”
“Are you sure it’s me you want?” she asked, and I wished like hell I knew where all her uncertainty came from.
“Beyond sure, princess. I’d fucking lay you down in the dirt right now if it’d prove to you how much I want you, but I’d really rather at least bathe first.”
“Then we should head home.”
Bodhi pulled open the driver’s door and climbed in. “Ro and I have a better suggestion. He clued me in on exactly how much money even poor dragons like him have, and that apparently there’s an entire hotel in the city that caters to your kind, with epic magic security included. It’s only half an hour away. I’m happy to hit the freeway and head straight back to Malibu,
but I get the sense we ought to avoid making ourselves targets for those hounds. How likely are they to look for us in a hotel like that?”
“I don’t give a shit about them. Just get us there, dude,” I said.
12
Keagan
“My bike is where?” I asked, staring at Rohan over a table laden with food that Deva and Bodhi were already digging into. I had a beer halfway to my lips when I’d heard Rohan’s explanation of their trip.
“Somewhere in Big Sur. We rode north up PCH until dusk and stowed it at one of the off-season resorts. It’s safe. Then we took to the air, following the hounds. They picked up a . . . scent . . . or something. At any rate, they seemed to know where the fuck they were going, where we were kind of just flying blind otherwise.”
“We got to you thanks to them,” Deva said, shooting a pleased smile to the four creatures who lounged happily on the floor near the restaurant booth we’d all squeezed into. Wait staff walked back and forth, oblivious to the four ethereal creatures who lay in their path, but they didn’t seem to have any inclination to budge. “Especially Jewel. She’s the one who took off the fastest. I think she likes you.”
My eyebrows shot up at that. “Jewel . . . You named them? You named one of them Jewel?”
Beside me, Bodhi let out a snort of amusement. Deva scrunched her brows together. “Yeah, it’s because of the diamond shape on her chest. I named Boots and Blaze for their markings too. What’s so funny?”
“Nothing,” Bodhi said with a smirk. “It’s very appropriate. I approve.”
I eyed the pile of pups, seeing that they indeed had markings to warrant the names she’d given them, but the fourth was the odd man out. He . . . or she? . . . only had a pair of ears with slightly lighter tufts at the tips. “What about that one?” I asked, pointing with a french fry.
“Jimi. Ro named him because he’s all hazy and purple.”
“Clever,” I said, giving Rohan a smile. “And unsurprising.”
I dug into my burger, finishing it within a few bites. Before I could search for the waitress to ask when the second would arrive, she’d snatched my empty plate and replaced it with another brimming with a freshly cooked burger and fries.
“You are a fucking goddess,” I rumbled at her. She flushed and darted off with a mumbled thank you.
The Drake’s Tail hotel wasn’t huge, but it was nice and they’d definitely built their restaurant menu with hungry shifters in mind, the portion sizes were geared toward ursa, and the heat levels of the spicy food geared toward dragons. As we spoke, Rohan was diving into a plate of nachos that were more jalapeños than chips.
“I thought I had a crazy appetite, but you guys are fucking insane,” Bodhi said, gawking at us both.
Deva only picked at her food, darting anxious looks between me and Bodhi who shared one side of the booth.
“Spit it out, princess,” I said.
“Your auras are mixed,” she finally blurted out.
“What does that mean?” Bodhi asked.
“It doesn’t mean a damn thing,” I said. “Anyone with a nose and a decent sense of smell could tell that you and I were fucking recently. You don’t need to be a dragon for that.”
Bodhi shifted uncomfortably beside me, darting a look between Rohan and Deva. Ro looked amused, but for some reason Deva had gone pale.
I set my burger down and wiped my mouth with my napkin. “Princess, I know what you’re thinking. You stole Rohan from me and now you think you’re about to steal me from Bodhi. But take a good long look at us.” I pointed between me and Bodhi. “Do we look like we’re soul mates?”
Her rainbow eyes flickered with inner light, so I knew she was checking out our souls. Bodhi must have seen the slight glimmer of power because he let out a soft curse of wonder. She finished her inspection and relaxed a tiny bit but still didn’t look convinced.
“How can you not want to be with each other after that? After making love for two nights in a row?”
Bodhi shot me a look, eyebrows raised, and I knew he was thinking the same thing I was. I had a feeling that where Deva was concerned, pretty much every thought he and I had were solidly aligned. Still looking at him, I tilted my head toward her, acknowledging that he could field this question.
He rested an elbow on the table and stretched out his hand flat against the surface staring at it for a second, then chuckled. “We weren’t exactly making love. Fucking our brains out, sure. Drowning our sorrows . . .” He glanced between her and Ro. “Definitely drowning our sorrows. Booze, sex, and adrenaline are good for that. The mortal peril I could’ve done without though.”
I snorted and popped a fry into my mouth, chewed and swallowed. “The point is, sex is as much an escape as it is a union. Or it can be. I don’t deny a bond with Bodhi now. I don’t think that’ll go away, but what we shared wasn’t soul-binding love.”
“Even after two nights?” she asked, clearly having trouble wrapping her mind around it. That’s when it hit me how skewed her timeline really was and it probably didn’t help that she and I had only known each other a little longer.
“It isn’t logical. Not with the higher races. But . . .” A thought occurred to me and I glanced at Bodhi. “What was that thing you said yesterday? Nature abhors a vacuum?”
Bodhi nodded, his eyes brightening as he picked up my train of thought. “She’s the vacuum. Metaphorically.”
“No, dude. Magically. Literally.” I looked back at her. “Your emptiness is something I can fill. Maybe it isn’t a fucking Fate thing, but a physics thing.”
“Magical physics isn’t a thing, I don’t think.” She gave me a dubious look.
“Well, it should be. Because I felt something when you walked in that store the other day. Some part of my nature recognized you in a way I’d never experienced with anyone I’d ever laid eyes on before, and I definitely didn’t feel it with Bodhi even after two nights of sex. I’m betting it was that need you had for a soul calling to my soul to sate it. Oh, and for the record?” I gave Rohan a piercing stare. “I saw her first.”
Beside me, Bodhi cleared his throat. “Sorry to burst your bubbles, but out of the three of us, I actually saw her first. I don’t think it’s a contest though. I mean, I wasn’t blind yesterday when Llyr and Ozzie showed up on my roof. There’s some serious shit going on between her and them and that kind of energy doesn’t crop up in a day. How long have you known those two?”
“All my life,” Deva said, without qualifying the statement. I figured it was her business if she wanted to keep her true age from Bodhi. Maybe it was better that he held back until he knew at least that detail about her. I, on the other hand, knew all I needed to know.
Bodhi nodded and glanced between me and Ro. “This is why I want to wait. I know the two of you are down to dive into some wild orgy together, but we’re talking about our souls here. About love. And that isn’t something I’m comfortable rushing. Not when it’s clear two other hearts are on the line besides ours. And not when my mom needs saving too.”
Deva’s expression didn’t relax and she looked like she might be about to bolt. She stared between all three of us without saying anything, but it was clear Bodhi’s reluctance spooked her.
My throat felt too tight when I tried to speak again, to address Deva’s wide-eyed uncertainty at the suggestion that we all might be rushing things. “Deva, Llyr and Ozzie’s relationship with you is their business. But I’ve faced death twice in as many days, and that’s made a few things crystal fucking clear to me.”
For emphasis I tapped one rigid index finger against the resin-coated tabletop in front of me. “First, I was a fucking idiot for not talking to you the second I set eyes on you that day in the store, but for some reason I thought it’d make me an asshole to jump the gun before talking to Rohan.” I shot the idiot dragon an irritated look, but the ass just shrugged and smiled. I rolled my eyes and tapped a second finger against the tabletop.
“Second, Ro and I may not have been in th
e war last year, but plenty of people close to us were, Willem and Sandor included. We understand the value of hanging onto something good when we find it. It’s why we’re together. Why I think we always intended to stay together, despite my brief bout with insanity thinking it was over between us because of you. I was a fool about that, but I’m damn sure that wanting you does not make me a fool. If it does . . . well, it’s my mistake to make.”
I stood up and held out my hand to her. “You’ve made all your points clear enough, princess. My mind won’t be changed so either you want me, or you don’t. It’s entirely up to you now but know that having me in no way compromises what you have with any of the others. We’re all stronger together as far as I’m concerned. When the other guys get their heads out of their asses about you—” I glanced at Bodhi. “No offense dude.” Redirecting my gaze to Deva, I continued, “I will do or say whatever the fuck you need to make sure it all works out.”
13
Deva
I’d been a mess ever since seeing the extent of Keagan’s wounds. The ones Jewel had given him had been bad, but she hadn’t hit bone the way this strange fate hound had. I was surprised he’d been able to stand, but ursa were known to be tough enough to withstand the most brutal attacks. That one had been so terrible it was all I could do to keep my head while I healed him, and I’d poured almost every ounce of magic I had into it, so I was too depleted now to even think about food.
But none of that mattered now. Not after his speech. Not when he stood with his hand outstretched, his big palm a beckoning warmth waiting for me to place my hand in his. This was what I wanted, so why was it so hard to say yes?
Keagan gave me an impatient look. “Princess, I will wait for you if it’s too soon, but my opinion on this isn’t changing. You’ve got the only other love of my life bound to you already. And before you go suggesting Bodhi as a substitute, yeah, I’m into him too, but that’ll have to happen in its own time.”
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