“You guys seriously don’t know?” I asked. “We’re a goddamn band. I mean, I don’t want to be presumptuous or anything, but last week we made pretty epic, magical music together. Music, I might add, that spoke to the hounds and helped us protect my family. Why can’t we take that out to the world?”
“Fate’s Fools doesn’t tour,” Ozzie said.
“The hell we don’t,” Lukas said. “Maybe not traditionally—we always stuck to venues that attract our kind—but that doesn’t mean a true tour can’t happen. There are plenty of fans in the human world who would pay to hear the band play. You don’t have to book arenas—just small clubs, like usual. Easy to stay under the radar and use the music to help Deva find others of the bloodline who are in danger.”
Ozzie shook his head. “That doesn’t help us actually get gigs on such short notice.”
“Getting gigs isn’t really the point, is it? You could set up in a fucking field if you needed to. Hell, go busking like we used to,” Lukas shot back, eliciting a scowl from his cousin.
“Nothing’s impossible if you have him,” Belah said, and everyone turned to look at Llyr. The big man shrugged, but his hypnotic turquoise eyes swirled, forcing me to glance away when a wave of vertigo hit.
Ozzie bristled. “Fuck him. If we’re doing this, we’re not prying our way into places through fucking mind control. We’re doing it on our own terms.”
Rohan clapped his hands together as if that comment settled it. “Fuck yeah, we’re going on tour!”
A thrill shot through me. Rohan’s giddy enthusiasm was infectious. Hell, all his moods were infectious. Being around him was like getting a shot of happiness injected straight into an artery, but his dark moods were just as potent, and he’d been broody ever since the ordeal with Deva’s soul.
Beside him, Keagan was more subdued, his gaze fixed on Deva. Something about the idea troubled him, and if he was worried about her, I probably should be too. I was more worried about what her stepmother’s revelation might mean for us, though.
Deva gave me a grateful look and a half-smile, then nodded. “If we can help the bloodline on the way, I’m all for it.”
The second she said yes, everyone else was on board, disrupting any opportunity I might have had to talk to her privately about the latest complication in our relationship. The group started making plans, Deva getting caught up in the excitement. Her enthusiasm, at least, gave us a distraction from the other issue. I could accept that until we had a moment alone to talk.
Taking a band on tour wasn’t exactly a simple thing, particularly when our only accessible belongings were the clothes on our backs and whatever gear was in my truck. Hell, my truck was the only vehicle accessible to us, too. But apparently, I didn’t need to worry; the resources these guys had were fucking astounding. It took only a handful of phone calls before Lukas had secured us a proper tour bus and Iszak was having instruments delivered to the hotel by morning.
Holy shit, this was really happening. I had the sense I was just a bystander caught up in this whole snowball of an event. All I could do was stand back while the pros took control.
I stepped back, settling alone into a chair near the window. Deva glanced over after a moment and gave a hesitant smile before approaching. She looked radiant, her beautiful, multi-colored eyes sparkling with excitement. When she reached me, I took her hand, gratified when she slipped into the chair beside me and squeezed back. She tightened her grip as if seeking comfort from my touch.
“This is new for you, isn’t it?” I asked.
She released a shaky laugh and nodded. “Yeah, everything’s new for me. I’m both excited and a little terrified. I just wish I knew why the hell Fate was really after us. And I wish . . .” She shifted her grip to thread her fingers through mine. My heart rate picked up as she stared down at our hands.
“Things between us just got more complicated, didn’t they?” I asked.
She looked sad but forced a smile anyway. “I guess it’s better that you didn’t agree to be with me. I can try to find you someone on this trip. I was still planning to test the hounds and find Maddie a soul mate too. We can find you one so you’re safe. So those scars don’t ruin your life.”
I swallowed hard, my gut clenching at the idea of being soul bound to anyone but her. “What if I don’t want anyone else? I’d rather have you halfway than be with anyone who isn’t you, soul scars be damned. Hell, I was just starting to get on board with the idea of sharing you with two or three other guys. You and Llyr definitely have a connection too. You’d have to be blind not to see it.”
I cleared my throat, staring at the group huddled over the coffee table. Belah had left a little while earlier, but Lukas and Iszak remained to help nail down the details. They studied a roadmap now, plotting potential stops where the kind of small venue the band preferred existed.
Ozzie glanced up at us, his eyes landing on our hands before he shifted in his seat and stared down at the map again. He loved her too, I realized. Of course he did; she’d suggested as much, that the five aspects of her nature needed five mates to wake up all her magic.
How could Ozzie and Llyr not already be with her? Were they afraid of her power?
“It didn’t hurt them to mate you,” I observed, looking at Rohan and Keagan.
Deva shook her head. “Not the way you’re suggesting, no. But they aren’t human.”
“I’m not exactly human, either. I’m bloodline, which means I probably have at least some magic, right? Didn’t you say there was god blood in me? That has to count for something.”
She gave me an anguished look. “I love you too much to risk it, Bodhi. Ever since we first sang together in your grandmother’s hospital room, I’ve wanted you. I think that’s why Blaze bit you to start with. I don’t want you if it’s going to destroy you.”
“That was only last week,” I pointed out. “You can admit to falling for me then, but can’t take this chance with me now when I’m perfectly willing to take the risk?”
“Where is this coming from?” she asked. “What happened to the uncertainty from earlier today? I thought this was all just too complicated for you.”
I didn’t miss the note of bitterness, and it stung. I felt like I’d rejected her, even though that wasn’t true.
“It isn’t that I didn’t want you. This has all been a fucking roller coaster for me. I don’t want to fuck it up. I’m fucking crazy about you, and what happened earlier tonight with the others . . .” I dropped my voice. “You fucking blew my mind, Deva, but it wasn’t just sex. Something about what we did went way deeper than that. I can still feel its effects.”
“Satyr essence,” she said, with a sad smile I wasn’t quite sure had anything to do with me.
I followed her gaze to Llyr and then glanced back at her, frowning. “Are you saying I’m hallucinating this feeling?”
She shook her head. “No, but sharing each other like that . . . we call it ‘melding.’ It can amplify the feelings you have for your partners. You might feel closer to me than before, but it isn’t permanent.”
“I don’t want to be with anyone but you, Deva. I knew that before tonight. I just needed more time to wrap my head around what it would mean to be with you. Does it matter what event made me come to my senses?”
My voice cracked, and something inside me seemed to unfurl, as though this decision had awakened a part of me I’d kept closed down for most of my life. I fucking loved her, and I wouldn’t give up on being with her, even if it meant never being able to make it permanent.
Deva flattened her lips and lifted her hand to my cheek. I hauled her into my arms, burying my face in her hair, desperate to hold onto her even though I could feel her slipping away.
I gritted back tears and tried to breathe, grasping for something to help me push through this feeling that I’d lost her before I’d ever really had her. There was only one thing I could latch onto, and it helped: My mom was the most important thing in my life. I’d known for a lo
ng time that I wouldn’t really be able to focus on a woman the way she deserved if Mom was still alone. She’d have argued with me about it, I know, but perhaps it was better this way. It would at least give me something to focus on, to look forward to—seeing Mom truly happy the way my grandma had been when we left.
Besides my mom, the band and the music would have to be enough. Being with Keagan and Rohan would never be enough, but it might have to be, because I wasn’t sure if I could be with Deva again without wanting her all the way. Not just making love to her, but being claimed by her the way she’d claimed Rohan and Keagan. Could I share her with them again the way I had tonight without wanting more? Without wanting everything?
3
Deva
We’d made plans to leave first thing in the morning, though we had only decided on a general easterly direction to start with. The venues Iszak and Lukas suggested we play at were booked, so Ozzie finally relented to just showing up and letting Llyr work his magic to secure us a set. Still, I itched for action. I’d looked into the eyes of the hound that attacked Bodhi and Keagan, had sensed its intent to carry out its master’s wishes. They wouldn’t be far behind.
I wished we at least had instruments here—something to distract me from the disappointment of Belah’s warning and the urgency to run now, rather than in the morning—but everything was due to be delivered to the hotel at dawn.
I forced myself to relinquish Bodhi’s warm embrace, wishing like hell that something would go right for a change, and perused the list of acquisitions Lukas had made of the gear we would need to distract myself.
They’d covered all the bases, within reason. We would only have the cargo hold of the bus, plus Bodhi’s truck, so we couldn’t go overboard. We could get by with the bare essentials: drums, bass guitar, rhythm guitar, lead guitar . . .
“Agnes!” I blurted as the thought popped into my head, inspiring another idea. The others looked at me strangely.
Willem’s pale brows shot up and his silver eyes widened. “The guitar. What are you thinking, Blackbird?”
“Didn’t Sandor craft that guitar? Is there some way we can use it to find him?”
Willem frowned as he slowly stood from his spot on the sofa. “I don’t think it works that way, but it’s worth a shot.”
Before I could even ask, Llyr disappeared, leaving a cloud of fluttering papers and an empty space on the sofa. He reappeared moments later, dressed in a few extra sweaters than before and holding a guitar case by the handle.
He delivered it to me with a bow, his dark, silken waves falling in a curtain over his face. “Your instrument, my lady.”
My heartbeat raced at the reminder of the day I’d met him, when he’d bowed to me this way, pledging his loyalty as my guardian. But this time, I gave into the urge to touch him, reaching out to graze my fingers along his cheek.
He rose, his brows lifting as he placed his hand where my fingers had been. “Something else you need?” he asked.
I set the guitar aside and stood up on my toes, pressing a light kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”
I still didn’t quite understand the strange conflict of desire versus hurt tangling inside me when I looked at either him or Ozzie, but his actions weren’t invisible to me. He had earned a kiss for his honesty and loyalty, if nothing else.
Llyr let out a soft breath. “You’re welcome, sweetness.” His voice was that rumbling purr, bringing back delicious memories of the moments before my feelings had changed.
I turned to the guitar and set the case on the table, opening it up to peer in at the gleaming black instrument. My fingertips tingled as I grazed them over the strings and four glowing shapes shimmered in my periphery. I glanced to the side to see the hounds staring at me with rapt interest.
“Do you guys think you can help?” I asked them.
They all made warbling noises, some higher pitched than others. The two smaller ones wagged their tails. I took the instrument out of its case, draping the strap over my neck.
“Can you guys find the turul who made this guitar if I play it?” I strummed a chord and waited. They all tilted their heads and blinked at me in that strange, synchronous way of theirs. When the sound faded, I played another, hoping that the intent of “go find Sandor” fixed in my mind would help them get the hint. Blaze ventured toward Bodhi and nuzzled at his hand, but the others just stared.
I tried a soft melody instead, keeping my thoughts on Sandor, but the hounds didn’t budge.
“What about Maddie? Can you find her soul mate?” I strummed again, and Boots wagged his tail with slightly more enthusiasm. Maddie wandered over.
“Can you really do that with the guitar? Do the beasts listen?” She stared around me, her eyes tracking everywhere but where the hounds actually stood. I’d forgotten she still couldn’t see them.
“They didn’t like my first question, but one of them seems to be more interested now.”
I picked out a series of notes, pausing in consternation when they still failed to respond. What else could I try?
“Maddie, do you have a favorite song? Preferably a love song or ballad.” I was grasping at straws, but the turul used songs to find their soul mates, and somewhere during the process, a fate hound got involved. It was as good a guess as any that the hounds might need a song to get them moving.
“I’ve always loved this song by Rihanna. It’s called Stay. Do you know it?”
I’d had three weeks in the human world to absorb the music on the radio, but before that, Ozzie had given me a gift of an MP3 player filled with thousands of songs. I had learned to play many of them, particularly the ones that reminded me of him.
“I remember,” I said and turned back to the hounds as I began to pluck out the somber, yet sweet tune. Maddie smiled at me, and with a slight flush to her cheeks, she started singing.
The lyrics made a lump form in my throat, particularly because Maddie sang them so beautifully. It was a struggle not to relate, to dwell on the longing that had settled into me at the idea of never being able to share with Bodhi what I had with Keagan and Rohan, especially now that I’d just learned how very much I needed him to make my bond with the others work. I wished we could have just one night together without any of those worries, one night where we didn’t have to run and could explore our feelings.
When Maddie paused without continuing, I nearly stopped playing, though the song didn’t feel finished. It had been a duet, I realized. Just as I was about to pick up singing the second verse, a deep, rich voice filled in the gap from behind me and I turned, surprised to see Willem standing with his eyes closed, continuing the song. It made perfect sense that it would be a duet leading Maddie to her soul mate. But could it be this easy?
I glanced back at the hounds, but they just stood, blinking up at Willem, and Maddie looked shocked and uncertain. She sang the next verse, her cheeks flushing as Willem came toward us, his pale-haired head bobbing slightly in time with the song.
The pair of them held each other’s gazes while they finished the song together, and I watched the hounds, perplexed by their odd behavior. They were watchful, interested, yet not the enthusiastic pups they’d been when I’d finally fallen into Rohan and Keagan’s arms.
The song came to an end, and the guitar continued humming under my fingers for a moment longer while Willem and Maddie stared at each other. Suddenly, all four hounds emitted sharp trills and bolted across the room, running straight through the wall in a brilliant lavender blur.
The two singers seemed to relax. “It isn’t me, I take it,” Willem said.
Maddie looked both relieved and perhaps a little disappointed. “What just happened?” she asked, darting a confused look my way.
“The hounds just ran off after the song ended. I thought maybe they’d do something different. With me, the hounds got really excited when I was around Rohan or Keagan. They were a little more reserved this time. Then they just streaked off that way.” I pointed at the wall to one side of the tel
evision.
“They went east,” Ozzie said. “Which doesn’t exactly narrow down our options if her soul mate is that way.”
From his spot perched on one arm of the sofa, Rohan said, “Give them a few minutes. These guys pinpointed Keagan and Bodhi’s location fast. If the creatures have found someone, they’ll lead us straight to them.”
“Except we can’t fly out of here, so we don’t have the option of taking a straight shot. Can they navigate a land route that we can actually follow?” Ozzie asked.
I stared at the spot where the hounds had disappeared, then closed my eyes, reaching for my connection with the creatures. They’d gone farther than I’d ever seen them go, but turned around immediately when I suggested they return to me.
Within a breath, all four reappeared at my feet, gazing up at me and looking proud of themselves.
“Good pups,” I said. “But can we do the same thing tomorrow, only on the ground?” I had no idea if they even understood my question, but one of them blinked and moved to Maddie, nuzzling her hand. She frowned and flexed her fingers.
“It’s right in front of me now, isn’t it?”
“Yes,” I said, smiling. “I think it can do what we need. Tomorrow, we’re going to follow it to your soul mate.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” she said. “What about you?” She looked up at Willem. “Were you bitten too?”
Willem gave her a half-hearted smile and a nod. “Aye. The same day as Rohan.”
“You two were bitten by the same hound,” I said. “Maybe it will find him a soul mate at the same time?”
Willem’s face pinched and he shook his head. “Don’t let it waste its energy on me. I sang because I wanted to help and you needed a man’s voice. I don’t even want to think about soul mates until we find Sandor. It’s his soul mate we need to find more than mine.”
Maddie’s brow creased as she regarded the big dragon. “You and this friend who is missing . . . He’s very special to you, isn’t he?”
“He’s everything to me.” Willem’s voice cracked and he clenched his fists, his first real display of emotion since he’d arrived with Llyr earlier tonight. Maddie went to him and placed a hand on his arm, stroking gently as she urged him out of the room. Her soft, comforting murmurs were all I heard through the open door to the bedroom. I chewed on my lip absently, wishing there was more I could have done for Willem—more the hounds could have done to find Sandor.
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