“Sandor’s soul mate exists out there somewhere, thanks to Fate. The pair of them have held out hope for their entire relationship that once they finally found that person, whoever it was would be willing to share and be shared. If it’s a member of the higher races, it’s highly likely they’ll be willing to entertain that kind of arrangement, so he and Sandor won’t give up on each other until they know.”
“Is he going to take advantage of my mom? That’s really all I need to know,” Bodhi said.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “How strong do you think your mother is? I mean, you saw him. He’s a wreck. Is Maddie going to take advantage of him?”
Bodhi’s eyebrows lifted and he blinked at me. For the briefest second, I thought he looked vaguely insulted, but that passed and he shrugged. “I see your point.”
“Willem is bound to refuse my help at some point when his power weakens again. Sandor has been that replenishing source for him for a long time, and I doubt any of you are likely to step up to help him. If your mother is willing, why not let her? She doesn’t have a soul mate yet, and I promise you Sandor won’t begrudge Willem the comfort and the magic that goes along with it. Besides, I’m sure he’s a better lover than she’s ever had.”
He grimaced. “I don’t need to think about it that hard.”
“Then don’t. Think about yourself instead,” I ventured, hoping to get him to focus on what he really needed—to get him to at least entertain the idea that it wasn’t me. “I don’t know if this emptiness in me where a soul should be is particular about who fills it, but I won’t let it be you if it’s going to hurt you.”
“I’m not giving you up. You can ask me again after this fucking meld has worn off, but I doubt that will change. Ever since I saw you in the hospital, looking lost and lonely, I wanted you. You’ve fucking changed my life, Deva. I don’t care if you and I can’t have what you have with Ro and Keagan. I will take whatever I can get.”
“You deserve more,” I whispered. It was bad enough that I would be giving up on the idea of having a complete soul without him, a prospect that gutted me as much as Ozzie’s rejections. Bodhi didn’t need to be stuck with a damaged soul forever too.
“What about Llyr and Ozzie?” he asked in an even tone, making me think he was testing me, or had perhaps read my mind. “Do they deserve soul mates too?”
I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t know about them yet. I thought I did, but everything changed today.”
“You insist that I need to be made whole somehow, even though you are the only woman who can complete me. You’re it for them too; I can see it in their eyes when they look at you. Are you going to make them whole?”
There was no challenge in his voice, just curiosity, but the fact that he’d mentioned it at all was enough for me to realize it was still a sticking point, despite knowing what mating me might do to him.
“My history with them is complicated,” I said, my throat tightening around the words as the scope of those complications threatened to overwhelm me.
“My present with you is complicated. But I’m willing to deal with it to be with you.”
“Even if you’d be missing out on what the others can have?”
“It would be worth it.” He held my gaze for a moment, then exhaled and let his head fall back against the edge of the tub. He straightened his legs and his feet bumped against mine under the water, then realigned to slide along either side of my calves. The contact was strangely soothing and arousing at the same time.
“Fuck, is it crazy that I’m pushing you to let this happen now? Despite every ounce of logic in my blood earlier today telling me it’s too fucking soon, it’s as if some power has hold of me now, contradicting everything I believed about how relationships should work.”
“What do you believe?” I asked, relieved for a change of topic.
He lifted his head to look at me again, his lips pressed together and a crease between his brows. “That moving too fast is a recipe for disaster. I’ve always taken my time. It’s been drilled into me by my mom that a good, lasting relationship can’t happen fast. Her relationship with my dad was a whirlwind, and look where that got her. My grandmother didn’t have much better luck, but at least she wound up knocked up by a rich, white bastard with a conscience and a sentimental streak. My grandfather’s the reason we have that big old house in that neighborhood by the beach. He was this record label executive who fell in love with grandma’s voice, but wouldn’t leave his wife to marry her, even after a decade-long affair and three kids.”
“That doesn’t sound like moving fast to me,” I said, though my frame of reference might have been skewed. The higher races were known for taking their time finding mates, but if Fate had a hand in things, we didn’t waste any time once we set eyes on them.
Bodhi laughed. “No. I guess it started fast, though. And when she was in it, she said she kept having children out of loneliness. He didn’t love her enough to be with her full-time, but I guess he loved my mom and her sisters enough to make sure they were taken care of. It’s hard to hate a guy who at least takes responsibility for his mistakes.”
I nodded and smiled. “My dad has that kind of honor too. He’s spent the last two years trying to redeem himself. What about you? How has the going slow tactic worked so far?”
He leveled his gaze at me. “Every woman I’ve had a relationship with moved on because they got tired of waiting. Granted there haven’t been many, but they slipped through my fingers. I thought at first it was because I spent more time on the water than with them—at least that’s what they told me. Now I think I realize all that time I spent out on the water, I was avoiding the truth: I was waiting for you.”
6
Bodhi
I could tell Deva was struggling to suppress her confusion. Hell, I knew I probably sounded like a walking contradiction. I knew I wanted her—there was zero doubt in my mind, even after only four fucking days, that my entire life had been about making my way to her—and yet I had held back. But now I was done with that.
“I’m sorry,” she said, as if an apology would be enough to make up for her distance now.
“No, I’m sorry. Sorry I fucking waited. I needed time to wrap my head around the whole idea of being part of something like this. Of sharing you. I wanted you, but couldn’t reconcile all the other pieces that went along with having you. It’s crazy what a couple nights of, uh, pushing boundaries will do.”
I smirked and was gratified by the grin she gave me. She seemed to be more relaxed now than earlier. Maybe if we could joke about it, that would break some of the tension and we could get past it. Be something for each other, even if we couldn’t be everything we wanted.
“You mean you and Keagan? I should thank you for whatever it was you said to him that brought him around.”
I chuckled. “No thanks needed, though I admit getting him to admit he was crazy about you was like pulling teeth. It was so obvious we were both wrecked over you. You may as well have been right there between us the whole time. You’re in our goddamn heads, angel.”
Her smile faded and the hint of longing returned. She lifted a hand from the water and reached out to me. “Please come closer to me. Are you sure you’re okay with only having me halfway? We can’t ever make love. You can’t share your soul with me, but maybe we can have something close.”
“I am more than okay with whatever I can get.” I pulled my legs up and slipped across the tub. Deva spread her thighs for me to move between them. I cupped her face with wet hands and gazed deep into her eyes, my heart pounding with the possibility of her acceptance. “I want to do nothing but touch you. Having less means savoring every fucking second of what you give me.”
When I dipped my head to capture her mouth, she let out a soft sigh just as our lips met. I didn’t know if it was relief or pleasure or both, but she kissed me back with the same level of languid exploration. The urgency I’d witnessed in her earlier was gone, which gave me hope that every moment
with her would not involve jostling for her attention with four other dudes. I craved moments like this so much I couldn’t think. Moments where she would be all mine. But I still had to admit watching her fall to pieces while Keagan and Rohan fucked her together was an image I’d treasure.
Her fingers twined in the hair at my nape and I leaned closer, unapologetically rubbing my hard-on against her belly. I dropped my hand to her breast, cupped it gently, and teased my thumb across the tip. She moaned into my mouth and tilted her hips up, her wet heat pressing at the base of my cock.
“Please, Bodhi,” she begged, the sweet sound sending a rush of tingles down my spine. “Make me come.” She dropped one hand beneath the water and took me in her grip, stroking lightly.
I let out a shuddering sigh and resisted the urge to plunge my cock into that wet heat. “My pleasure,” I said, tilting my hips so my shaft grazed along her core.
“You can do whatever you want to me except make love to me,” she whispered, pressing my shaft against her heat and holding it there, our pulses pounding in tandem. Her gaze was open, her wet breasts shining golden in the candlelight and tempting as hell. There were a million possibilities as to how I could take her, give her what she’d asked for, but goddamn if there wasn’t one thing I wanted more than anything, and it was the one thing I couldn’t have.
I hesitated, wishing for some fortification against my strongest urges.
As if my thought were a summons, the bathroom door opened and Keagan’s big frame blocked the light for a moment before he closed it behind him. Deva pulled away with a soft gasp.
“Keagan.”
“You sound surprised to see me, princess.” His dark gaze lingered on her before tracking to me. I settled back on my haunches, the water lapping around my midsection, and let my knuckles trail one last time over the top of her breast. She arched up into my touch while looking at Keagan, her eyelids fluttering closed when I pinched her nipple between thumb and forefinger.
“No, I just . . . ah . . .” She gasped when I followed suit with her other breast, holding both beautiful, light brown orbs in the palms of my hands and toying with the stiff, pebbled tips until she squirmed. With Keagan’s arrival came the wherewithal I needed to endure being with her and not being allowed to make love to her. With him in the mix, I could focus on the carnal abandonment of the moment and stop dwelling on what I couldn’t have. Seeing him please her would be enough.
Keagan’s gaze slipped back to her as I leaned down and took one dark nipple between my lips to suck. I was all about driving her wild, and sharing her with Keagan had become a fantasy of mine during the past two days.
He tore off his T-shirt and shimmied out of his jeans, leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor. Settling at the edge of the tub near Deva’s head, he dipped his hand into the water between us. His knuckles brushed my erection, but it wasn’t me he was aiming for. I glanced down when Deva let out a fresh gasp and as two of Keagan’s fingers disappeared inside her.
“Gaia’s tears, you’re wet as fuck, princess. You sure you don’t want to let Bodhi have a taste of this heaven?”
“I think we have an agreement,” I said, meeting her hooded gaze.
“Everything but that,” she said, opening her eyes and glancing between us. Her voice pitched into a low moan as Keagan’s arm flexed, suggesting he’d penetrated her even deeper. He clenched his jaw, a hungry look crossing his face as his eyes tracked down her body.
“And you’re okay with this?” he asked, glancing at me again.
“Would you give her up if you could have even a little?”
“I’d rather be her sex slave and lose my mind than endure the torture of not having all of her. So yeah, I guess. All or fucking nothing,” he said, turning to slip his feet into the tub. He leaned down and nuzzled at Deva’s damp neck while casting his gaze sideways at me. “I’d be lost anyway, so what would it matter?”
“Bodhi’s not the only one whose feelings matter,” Deva said in a husky voice, regarding me steadily. Then she closed her eyes again and sighed, tilting her head against Keagan’s knee while he continued to kiss her neck.
Keagan’s thick chest rumbled with a deep laugh. “True enough, and if he isn’t going to fuck you, we need to service you right, princess. Make sure you’re good and sated before bed.”
I lifted a brow and leaned back, releasing Deva’s breasts to a soft murmur of protest. She didn’t open her eyes until Keagan extracted his fingers from between her thighs and sat back with a smirk. He scooted around behind her head and leaned down to whisper something into her ear. She nodded and held out her arms for him to lift her out of the water and onto his lap.
Water streamed off her skin, her glistening breasts a glorious, deep bronze in the candlelight. Keagan covered them with his big hands for a moment, tweaking her nipples and making her shudder in pleasure before he slid them down to grip both her thighs and spread her wide.
Her pussy opened up before me and my mouth watered. I leaned in, eager to accept the invitation, but Keagan halted me with a tight grip on my shoulder.
“You’re going to fuck her one way or the other. If you can’t do it with your dick, you need to use your hand.”
Deva let out a soft gasp of surprise and craned her head back to look at Keagan. “I don’t know,” she said.
“Trust me,” he murmured into her ear, one arm snaking around her waist while the other dipped between her thighs again and stroked down the center of her pussy to dip two fingers into her slick center once more. “If you can take his fist, we’ll know you can take us all however we want to have you, princess. I have a mission to see you ride Rohan’s dick someday when he’s dragoned out. I just want to make sure you’re ready when that day comes.”
Deva writhed under his touch, and she whimpered but nodded, her fevered gaze meeting mine again. I swallowed harshly at the prospect of yet another boundary-pushing experience, but this time it would involve her. I was more than happy to do whatever she wanted, if this was what she wanted.
“I won’t if you don’t want me to. I can just go down on you.”
“It’s about what she needs, or will need, as much as what she wants,” Keagan said. “She’s part ursa, so she’s going to need Rohan’s dragon dick at some point, I can promise you that. Maybe not soon, but eventually. If she hits estrous on this trip, you need to know how to take care of her if the rest of us aren’t around.”
Deva shifted her gaze to me and nodded. “He’s right. It’s okay, Bodhi. I need this. And I want you to do it.”
I had no idea what Rohan’s dragon dick looked like, but if getting her ready for that involved what Keagan was suggesting, well, Deva’s willingness to let Keagan manhandle her certainly spoke volumes about what she wanted. She reached back with both hands and clutched at Keagan’s neck, arching her back and twisting to meet his lips with hers. He kneaded one breast with his hand, pinching and tugging at her nipple.
Without releasing her mouth, he set his gaze on me and lifted his brows, spreading his own knees to force her legs wider. Beneath Deva’s ass, his stiff dick lay sandwiched against his thigh, but he didn’t seem to care.
That was when it clicked that this was entirely about her, not either of us, and I was on board. That was my way through this—seeing to her pleasure to the exclusion of everything else. I could wrap my brain around that.
I moved between her legs, resting my hands at the tops of her thighs and grazing my thumbs down her glistening outer lips. The slickness surprised me at first. I thought she was still wet from the water, but what I felt was entirely her arousal, and when the earthy scent of her reached my nose, my dick hardened to a painful degree.
“Take your time,” Keagan rumbled. “And use your mouth as much as you need to keep her wet.”
Deva’s gaze dropped to me and she licked her lips, arching her back and moaning when I tentatively rubbed the pad of my thumb across her clit. The wetness was an invitation, and I dipped my head and wrapped my lip
s around the hard nub, hooking my tongue beneath the delicate hood and flicking lightly until she bucked. When a flood of fresh flavor hit my taste buds, I pushed my index finger into her opening, slid it back out, then added my middle finger.
Her sweet pussy was heaven. In the short time we’d known each other, I’d become adept at reading her cues when I licked her. The sensation of her fingers tangling in my hair and holding me against her soft flesh was my favorite signal that I was on the right track. I chuckled and pulled back, grinning up at her frustrated scowl.
“Keagan said to take my time. I intend to.”
“Keagan’s a pervert who just wants to see me get fisted. Make me come, please.”
I lifted my eyebrows at Keagan, who just laughed. “She isn’t lying, but neither am I.” He pressed his mouth to her ear and murmured, “I promise you will come, princess. Just enjoy the ride.”
7
Bodhi
Deva moaned in frustration and lifted her hips, forcing my fingers deeper. I gripped her hip with my free hand and added a third finger, watching her face relax into abject pleasure as I fucked into her with slow, deliberate strokes. Her muscles flexed around my fingers, and I couldn’t resist looking down as I pushed them in and slid them out. So fucking tight, yet so accommodating at the same time. My dick throbbed in time with each plunge of my fingers into her, the ache in my balls growing with every squeeze of her walls around my digits.
“More,” she groaned. My gaze shot up to meet hers, my pulse racing at the sight of pure, needy abandon on her face. Keagan cupped her breasts again, steadily teasing both dark nipples with his thumbs as he rumbled soft, filthy promises into her ear. Around my fingers, her juices flowed, slicking up my entire hand without even trying, but I dipped my head again anyway, sliding my tongue out to tease her clit in slow circles.
I wanted to cover her pussy with my mouth, drink her in the way I had that first night with Rohan looking on. I’d made her come at least half a dozen times, jerking off a couple times myself while I ate her out. But despite my painfully hard cock, I wanted my entire focus to be on her tonight.
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