“I don’t understand. How will that help us?” I asked.
Ozzie settled back into his seat. “Fate’s curse upon the turul race removed our ability to choose our mates. Fate has focused so much of its power on maintaining control over us that if it were to fail just once, it could break the curse completely.”
“Many turul have broken it for themselves, though. How is this different?” Willem asked.
Ozzie shook his head. “Many try. They abandon their search for their One and form a soul bond with another, breaking their link to the mate Fate chose. But Fate always finds out and always punishes the offenders. You already know this—why else would Sandor have held out for so long? He’s loved you for centuries, so much he’s not willing to risk your life by breaking that tie.”
Willem’s face clouded with pain and he nodded. Maddie dipped her head to gaze into his eyes. She rested her palm lightly on his cheek and he let out a shuddering sigh, taking her hand.
“So we break the turul curse. How does that help keep Fate from hurting us all anyway?”
“Fate won’t want to reveal the loss of that control. It will be open to negotiating if we hold that card. That’s where we offer our compromise—to help Fate save face and to get us all what we want,” Ozzie said.
His gaze intensified and he stood again, taking a step closer to me. He took a shaky breath and cupped my cheek. For a second, I thought he might bend his head and kiss me, but instead he said, “With Fate off your back, you can be happy.”
When he released me and turned, an icy shard pierced through my heart. His retreat was the reminder I needed that my happiness could never include him.
I wanted to argue his logic, but he moved onto a different topic, gesturing to the four hounds that lounged in front of the fire, looking fat and happy from the renewed soul bonds I shared with my three mates.
“Do you think you can find the focus to command them properly now?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, my voice brittle from the unresolved hurt over his dismissal. “There are ursa techniques for focusing that I haven’t tried before. I can spend a little more time with them, and with Agnes, and make sure they have the correct target before I send them off. And with Bodhi’s bond strengthening my power, I think it will be easier to take advantage of my link to them.”
“Then don’t waste any more time. We need to get back on the road. Fate gave you two weeks, right? We don’t know where we’ll need to travel, so the sooner we start, the better.”
27
Deva
Apprehension twisted in my belly as the room cleared out. I’d asked for solitude with the hounds to try to center myself and focus enough to command them properly. Without a link to Sandor’s soul, I had no idea how else to reach him.
Bodhi lingered behind a moment and I sensed the tug on our bond, desire flaring inside me once again when our gazes met. I gravitated to him and sank into his embrace, moaning into his kiss though I knew I needed to let go for just a little while.
This need was a deeper longing than simple arousal; though the urge to make love again was undeniable, it was more than that. Binding myself to him, coming together last night over and over, had been the most transcendent experience of my life. After seeing Keagan and Rohan’s reactions this morning, I realized why. Somehow the process had tied us all together across the miles that separated us, and the awareness of that bond made it difficult to part from them for even a second now.
I took a deep breath and extracted myself from him. His cheeks were flushed, his pupils dilated. “Christ, I never expected it to be like this,” he said in a husky voice, his head bent over me and his hand still clasped in mine as though neither of us were ready to let go. “I never want to stop touching you. It’s like I want to crawl inside your skin and stay there.”
“The feeling is mutual, but I really do need to be alone for this. I’ll meet you at the bus when I get a handle on where we need to go, okay?”
He bent to kiss my forehead and sighed. “Right. I suppose I can survive that long. See you soon.”
As he turned and strode out, the eyes of the dragon on his forearm seemed to follow me, flashing red. Its forked tongue snaked out suggestively. Even after he was gone, it took effort to tear my eyes away from the door and errant thoughts of our night together, but we had work to do.
When I settled in front of the fire on my knees, a touch at my shoulder startled me. Ozzie crouched beside me, his lips pressed tight and his brow furrowed.
“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for before,” he said. “I understand how much you want a complete soul. I’m not trying to keep you from having that. I just know what Fate is capable of. The turul curse is as ancient as our entire race. No one has ever broken it, and the ones who try to bypass it by severing their link to their Ones always pay when Fate finds out.”
My throat constricted with the twinge of betrayal I felt around Ozzie now, yet I could sense the truth in his words. I reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly despite the urge to push him away the way I might have done to Llyr.
“We have to try. If what Llyr suggested works, it can give us the leverage we need to protect the bloodline. And if you and Sandor can be free to choose . . .”
I halted, the words coming harder as emotion tightened around my chest. Maybe you would choose me, I wanted to say, but feared another rejection.
“Then we’ll try. With Bodhi’s soul a part of you, you have more power to draw from. If you took Llyr’s gift too . . .”
I darted my gaze back to the fire, blinking through the haze of wetness filling my eyes.
“I’m not ready for that yet. Besides, he doesn’t want me to give in as long as I’m influenced by your blood meld. I want . . .”
I paused and shook my head. I didn’t want to admit the truth to him, even though he had to know.
“What do you want, Deva? If it’s in my power to make it happen, I will.”
I clenched my eyes shut at the tender brush of his fingers over my temple and shook my head again briskly.
“Tell me, please,” he said.
I opened my eyes and glared at him. “I want you, Ozzie,” I snapped. “And you’ve already made it abundantly clear that you don’t want me, so until I can separate that from my feelings for Llyr, he and I can’t happen, even if I manage to forgive him.”
Ozzie jerked back as if I’d slapped him, his jaw spasming. He glanced at the fire, standing. “Goddamn fucking satyr,” he muttered. As he walked away, I heard a half-hearted, “I’m sorry, Deva,” drift back to me.
“Fuck you,” I whispered, swiping tears from my eyes. He wanted me to be whole, yet he didn’t understand that without him, that would never happen.
Blaze made a tentative warble and nuzzled at my hands when I dropped them back to my lap. I took a deep breath and smiled half-heartedly at the pups, using a burst of fresh magic to stroke Blaze’s ruff. He turned into my attention, eyes closing and a soft, comforting hum emanating from his chest.
The other three scooted closer and nudged their heads into my lap. I laughed. “I wish I’d known how sweet you guys could be to begin with. But I need you to do some work for me now, all right? We need to find Sandor.”
I turned and reached for the guitar case Willem had carried in and left at my side. Opening it, I paused for a moment to admire the beautiful instrument within.
Agnes gleamed as if freshly polished, her glossy black finish reflecting the flames flickering in the hearth. As I reached for the guitar, my hands tingled with awareness of the power imbued within. Sandor had crafted this instrument with his own hands. If it couldn’t help us find him, then I don’t know what else would help.
This time, I resolved to properly focus. The first time I’d tried this it had been with the hopes of seeking out a soul mate for Maddie, but that had apparently backfired, the hounds instead hearing my deeper desire to be with Bodhi and following through.
Well, that deeper desire was fulfilled now, a
nd I was so conflicted about Llyr and Ozzie I hoped a more definite desire would override my need for a complete soul.
I took a deep breath as I lifted Agnes out of her velvet-lined case and slung the strap over my neck. The hounds perked up, standing and swishing their tails as the strings thrummed from the mere touch.
“This is for Sandor, guys,” I said. “I need to find him. Nothing is more important than him right now, you got it? If we don’t figure out where he is and find his soul mate within the next two weeks, we’ll have lost. The entire bloodline will have lost, including Maddie, Dylan, and anyone else out there you four were drawn to before I found you. So focus, all right?”
They all stared back at me with unwavering purple gazes. They clearly didn’t need any practice focusing; I was the one who needed help with this.
I gripped the neck of the guitar and stared down at the strings, thinking of Sandor, yet I was at a complete loss as to how to begin.
Cursing under my breath, I reached out with my mind instead. “Willem, I could use your help. Is there any chance you know a song Sandor loved? Something he connected strongly with?”
He immediately replied, “I know his mating song by heart. The half he played, anyway. Here . . .”
A deep melody filtered through my mind. It had a simple, yet elegant beat, reminding me of some of the classical music Ozzie had taught me near the beginning of my music lessons. He’d thought it necessary to give me an entire historical overview, so I knew how the modern songs I loved had evolved. This one was quite old and reminded me how very long Sandor must have been searching, only to have Fate snap that thread and use him as a pawn in its efforts to control me.
When I started to play, I focused on Sandor alone, picturing his face as I slowed my breathing to match the mournful tempo of the song. It was only a few short verses and a chorus without words, but I could hear the meaning within the notes.
For the first time, I tested my newfound ability to merge the powers imbued in me by the new souls I possessed, focusing my knowledge of turul magic and pushing the dragon and ursa power together to try to replicate the power I’d have had if I possessed a turul soul.
I had no idea whether it would work, but the suddenly deafening roar of the fireplace made me open my eyes. The fire subsided until I plucked the strings faster, picking out the ancient melody with power surging through my fingertips. The fire blazed high again, and the hounds all stared at me.
“Can you find him now, guys?” I said, continuing to play. “Sandor is who we need to reach—him and whoever the other half of this song is meant for, but let’s start with him. Are you ready?”
The four of them all chuffed, their tails a series of purple blurs. My skin prickled with excitement as I stood, continuing to play as I walked back through the house and out the door to where the others waited on the bus.
“I think we’ve got our destination. Is everyone ready?”
Willem nodded and turned the key. “Just waiting for Maestro and Llyr to finish cleaning up.”
I continued lightly plucking the tune as I stared out the windshield. Llyr and Ozzie emerged from the house a moment later, Ozzie carrying the empty guitar case. Llyr made one backward gesture before he closed the door and a blast of white smoke billowed out of the chimney above us as he extinguished the fire.
When they settled into their seats, Llyr nodded and said, “House is as it was before we arrived. Let’s move.”
28
Deva
I gravitated toward the cushy sofa beneath the window along one side of the bus, settling between Bodhi and Keagan as I continued to strum the guitar. Everyone remained silent while I played and I closed my eyes, reaching out for Blaze again until the vision behind my closed eyelids showed a gravel driveway bordered by melting snowdrifts.
With this link to the hound’s consciousness, I was aware of its singular purpose—the one I had given it—which was focused on the turul I had pictured in my mind and whose song I played. Experimentally, I slowed the playing, but the hound didn’t lose the thread of my original command. It began to jog, then run until it reached the paved road, its three companions amethyst blurs in its periphery.
“They’ve got a trail,” Willem called from the driver’s seat, and I felt the bus shift around me as it made a sharp turn. Both Bodhi and Keagan’s arms slipped around my waist to steady me, flooding me with a warm rush as the power within my soul surged at their contact.
When I opened my eyes, Rohan was smiling at me from across the bus. I wanted to remind him he didn’t need to keep his distance, but he stood and came toward me, crouching at my feet. He peered up into my eyes, his golden gaze shining with love.
“We’ll beat that bastard one way or the other,” he said. “You will have your soul, Deva.”
I smiled and touched his face, a twinge of longing still lingering from Ozzie’s earlier words. I glanced across to where he sat staring out the window. Rohan followed my gaze and frowned.
The bus lurched around another turn and he retreated back to the safety of his seat, though his attention remained on me. Within my mind, he told me, “He’ll come around. He wants you too much not to.”
“Does he want me, or does he love me? I don’t know if it’s enough, whatever he feels. If Bodhi was willing to take the risk. Why won’t Ozzie?”
Rohan shifted his gaze to study Bodhi, who’d extracted Agnes from my grip and was setting her back in her case.
“Bodhi doesn’t dwell on his conflicts; he pushes past them. He’s a unique soul. I’m glad he came around as quickly as he did. Three down, two to go.”
He looked at Ozzie again, regarding him with uncharacteristic intensity. Then he shifted his gaze toward the front of the bus where Llyr was standing behind the driver’s seat, completely unaffected by the movements of the bus as we wound around the mountain roads.
Once Bodhi secured my guitar, he sat back and pulled me into his arms, shifting into the corner of the sofa to recline. I sighed and relented, sinking back against him and smiling when Keagan propped my feet on his thighs, removed my boots, and massaged my feet.
“Sweet Mother, is this what aunt Numa’s life is like?” I muttered.
Rohan laughed. “You think Dionysus spends his days massaging his lover’s feet?”
I shrugged. “It’s not beyond the realm of possibility. He dotes on her. They all do, really. And I’m positive my dad did this for Belah while she was pregnant. I saw that with my own eyes.”
“Belah, your stepmother?” Bodhi asked, his warm breath tickling my ear.
“Yeah, her,” I said, tilting back to look at him quizzically. “Why?”
“I just didn’t get the impression tenderness was a thing for them, that’s all. The power dynamic was all wrong.”
I frowned up at him. “What do you mean?”
Bodhi hesitated and shook his head. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”
“No, I’m curious now. What kind of power dynamic do you think they have, if it isn’t like ours?”
He made a choked noise and shot a pleading look at Rohan and Ozzie. Ozzie’s brooding expression had disappeared and he stared back with amusement. “Yeah, Bodhi. Why don’t you illuminate us on your insights?”
Bodhi’s cheeks flushed and his teeth grated against each other. He gave me a wary look and said, “I got the sense that they’re more likely to employ whips and chains than foot rubs and snuggles. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he added quickly.
My eyebrows shot up and I glanced at the other guys, who all looked like they were about to burst trying to hold in their laughter.
“You think she ties them up?” I asked. The visuals were not something I cared to picture, but the thought wasn’t unappealing in an abstract sense. Part of me would have loved to pin down two individuals who were particularly infuriating. I glanced at Llyr, who had turned around and now leaned back against the partition dividing the cab where Willem and Maddie sat from the rest of the bus.
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“I guarantee they tie her up,” Ozzie said. “You forget I was there when my cousins first met her. I’d like to unsee some of what I witnessed, but that’s never going to happen. And I’ve known Nikhil for some time too. You have to know your dad has a reputation for sadism. I think Iszak shares that proclivity with him. Lukas likes it both ways.”
“Oh, my lord,” Maddie exclaimed softly from the front of the bus.
“Stop listening if it bothers you, Mom,” Bodhi called to her, his tone filled with mirth. Willem’s rumble of a laugh carried back to us.
I blinked at Ozzie in shock, abruptly closing my mouth. I shook my head. “I don’t really want to know any of what you just told me.”
Ozzie laughed. “Neither do I, trust me. Just be glad you never had to actually witness any of it. The important thing to remember is that they’re all happy with the arrangement. Their dynamic works for them. You guys will find what works for you, whether it involves bondage or foot rubs.”
He darted a look at Llyr, who smirked back at him as if they’d shared some secret joke. Their gazes remained fixed on each other for a second longer than was strictly typical. When Ozzie tore his gaze away, I caught both Rohan and Keagan spearing him with their own sharp looks.
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander,” Rohan said, winking at the turul.
Ozzie muttered a flustered curse before slipping out of his seat and retreating toward the bunks farther back. He climbed into one and slid the accordion screen shut with a snap.
What the fuck was going on with these guys?
“What’s up with him?” Bodhi asked, echoing my thought.
Keagan chuckled and Llyr moved down to take Ozzie’s vacant seat, settling into a smug slouch that shouldn’t have looked so natural on a man so big.
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