I chuckled and slipped up behind her once more, wrapping her in my arms and pulling the blanket over us.
“That will never be torture, sweetness. True torture would be letting me start and not finish.”
“What about you?” she murmured sleepily.
“I’ve endured worse. Being linked to you those last months in captivity made all the prior centuries worth it. Even at the start, my brothers and I could sense the power inside you, knew that you would be special. I never imagined you would become this. You are so far beyond my wildest dreams. I would do anything for you, Deva. This discomfort will fade.”
The discomfort, however, was far from fading at the moment, and I suppressed a wince when she rolled over to face me.
“Are you ready?” she asked, lifting her hand to the side of my head and resting two fingertips against my temple in the start of a meld. I turned into her touch, kissing her palm before returning my gaze to hers and nodding.
“Show me.”
The most difficult challenge was not allowing myself to inhabit Ozzie while witnessing Deva’s memory of the event. I’d spent enough time pretending to be him already. But it didn’t take a meld to see the absolute devotion in his eyes when he made love to her for the first time, nor the moment when he gave her a piece of his soul.
I understood why he’d been so reluctant to give this scene to me willingly. It was an incredibly touching, potent moment filled with love, leaving my memory of my own first time with her seeming woefully inadequate.
I hadn’t made love to her the first time, for one thing—she’d needed too much power for that. My primal form was capable of giving her more magic than my human form, and so that’s what I’d offered her.
It had made sense, under the circumstances. The safety of the bloodline had been paramount then, and we’d already made a promise to each other to mate once we left the Haven. But the promise had not held water when, like a fool, I insisted there was no way I could have been her first.
Now I was able to witness her first time with crystal clarity, yet it did not offer any validation. Despite the truth playing out before my eyes, and despite that first beautiful orgasm taking hold of Deva’s body under Ozzie’s touch, the magic that flowed from her to him only left me wishing I truly had been the one.
I couldn’t act in this vision, which was probably a good thing. If I could, I’d have rewound it and replayed the entire moment with myself in Ozzie’s place, being the one to absorb that first precious gift of her Nirvana.
“I’ve seen enough,” I said, pulling her hand away from my face and holding it tight. Deva stared up at me with a worried frown.
“It wasn’t over,” she said.
“You can just tell me the rest. I trust you. I don’t need to see it.”
She sat up and looked down at me. “Why not? This is the easiest way.”
“Easy for you. It only makes me want to kill the bastard.”
“He didn’t hurt me. That’s what I’m trying to show you.”
I shot up off the sofa and stalked to the window, glaring out at the sunrise peeking up over the Gulf of Mexico. “I never said he did. It’s just easier to believe he was somehow lacking. That he did something wrong—anything, even if he was only guilty of being insensitive. Which is obviously my greatest power.”
“And he was good to me, so that bothers you,” she said, coming up behind me and resting her hand on my shoulder. I shivered under her touch and closed my eyes.
“It bothers me that I wasn’t. That I failed you and he didn’t. Even the lie . . . it wasn’t his, it was yours. He merely remained faithful to your wish not to remember the truth, but we both know he didn’t follow through on that promise himself. He didn’t forget, even though I know for a fact it tortured him.”
“You’re still here,” she said. “That counts for something.”
“He isn’t gone by choice; we know that much.”
“I know, but he isn’t the one I’ve kept putting off. I’m not blind. And Rohan doesn’t stop pointing out what’s going on with you, either.”
I turned and looked down at her. “What the fuck does he care?”
She opened her mouth in surprise and laughed. “Are you kidding? You’re asking why the empathic dragon should care how you feel? He wants us all to be happy, and that includes you, jackass.” She stabbed a finger into my sternum. “He’s probably your biggest advocate.”
“Fine. I’ll remember to thank him later. What I don’t want is your apology for making me wait. You know where I stand on the issue. It doesn’t make it easier to deal with, but it would help if you stopped pitying me. When we finally do make love, I want that emotion to be the last thing on your mind. Got it?”
She smiled again, a glint of humor in her eyes that made me want to kiss her. “Fine, no pity fucks allowed.”
Who was I kidding? Everything she did made me want to kiss her, but until she could tell the difference between her feelings for Ozzie and her feelings for me, I’d do better to keep that urge in check. Hugging I could do, however, and when she stepped close and slid her arms around me, I happily returned her embrace.
15
Deva
“Are you sure we should just drift in?” I asked, hooking my arm around Llyr’s waist later that afternoon.
“The club owner won’t be there, just Pete and Nadia. We don’t need to hide our nature from members of the bloodline.”
I couldn’t argue with his logic. The bloodline had sadly lost my focus over the past two weeks, so I’d given up my arguments against the gig. The truth was I was glad for this excuse to shift gears, even if it was just for one night. Besides, all five of us couldn’t comfortably fit in the Jeep for the ride over from the hotel.
We landed in the center of a bare stage, a spotlight shining down on us. I blinked up at the light, momentarily blinded, and raised my hand above my eyes to see out into the darkened club. Soft clapping reached my ears and I stepped forward, squatting to hop off the edge of the stage and out of the light.
A pretty woman with short, dark hair was at one of the high-topped tables toward the rear of a dance floor. She stood and came toward me, smiling. Her excited aura swelled to a brilliant yellow.
“Oh my god, could that entrance have been any cooler?” She gawked at the stage, then between me and Llyr with an expectant look.
“Nadia, this is Deva Rainsong, Fate’s Fools’ lead singer,” he said.
Nadia took the introduction as her cue to throw herself at me, grabbing me in a tight hug. “I’m so fucking excited to meet you. God, you have no idea what this means to me. That you’ll be here. That the whole fucking band will be here!”
“Not exactly . . . ” I said, extricating myself. “I think Llyr explained already.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, but what can you do? He proved he can fake it. That’s enough for me. You are the one most of us really want to see, you know. After Vegas . . . That voice . . . My god.”
My stomach lurched and I swallowed down the bubble of anxiety. Of course it would be my voice they were excited about—the one instrument I hadn’t been able to use since that night.
“Well, here I am!” I said with forced enthusiasm. Llyr slipped up beside me and I resisted the urge to sink against him. He didn’t need any more reminders of what he couldn’t have.
Nadia stood back and gave us both a knowing smile. “Too bad we won’t get to see you two in action. That’s the second best thing about that show, you know—that fucking kiss.” She fanned herself.
I glanced up at Llyr and he quirked his lips at me. “I guess our kiss in Vegas has made the rounds.”
“Ah,” I said, nodding. “Well, I promise there’s plenty of chemistry between me and the other guys. You’ll see.”
“Looking forward to it. Come on, there’s someone else here who’s dying to meet you.”
She took my hand and led me toward the bar, and I nearly tripped when I saw my hounds all perched on stools, their heads turn
ing back and forth in unison as they watched the bartender going about his business of prepping for the crowd. They were usually only this interested in a person if he held some significance to them, which meant this man was probably someone they’d have bitten before I told them that biting was inappropriate behavior.
But when we reached the bar and I took a seat, the hounds all hopped down and focused on Nadia instead. Interesting.
Keeping my attention fixed on her for a moment longer, I reached out with my mind to the hounds, giving them the subtlest permission to follow their instincts for the evening. If I was getting a break from the search for a mate for Mr. Chase, the hounds deserved a break too. Finding soul mates for the bloodline was just as important to me. If Chase couldn’t wait one night, he could come tell me so himself.
The second that thought crossed my mind, half the anxious tension inside me eased, and the smile I gave the bartender was one hundred percent genuine.
“Pete, allow me to introduce you to none other than the Deva Rainsong, new lead singer for Fate’s Fools.”
“Honored, my dear,” the older man said, reaching out to take my hand in his enormous mitt. He had an unwavering intensity in his eyes that reminded me of my dragon father, Aodh, or of Willem. It was kind, yet unyielding, and when I caught him exchange a pleased look with Nadia, I sensed his protective bent toward her.
“The honor is mine,” I said, squeezing his hand tightly before releasing it. These two were bloodline, the brightness in their souls linked to the web in my mind. I only wished my link to them gave me any clue as to their natures. They could have had any mix of higher races blood within them. Would equivalent powers manifest if I found them mates, the way Bodhi’s powers had?
It was all the more reason to put on a good show tonight, which meant Bodhi should do the singing. He at least still had a partly turul soul to draw power from. I didn’t need my new friends to see my apprehension, though.
I mentally commanded the hounds to be alert for potential mates for these two and sat down at the bar, thanking Pete for the tall pint of beer he set in front of me.
Nadia and Llyr joined me, and the four of us fell into easy conversation, which largely consisted of Nadia grilling me and Llyr about the higher races while Pete avidly listened, a dishcloth in one hand as he dried and put away glasses. Nadia was certainly more forward than Pete and seemed to have trouble sitting still.
I began trying to guess what her higher races nature might be. Turul was probably a good bet, considering her love of music—she had a lovely voice of her own, which became apparent when she turned on the club’s stereo and began to sing along to one of Fate’s Fools’ older albums.
Pete I’d decided must carry dragon blood, and likely Guardian at that. He seemed perfectly suited to serve and would fiercely protect those he loved.
“Will you give us a sneak peek?” Nadia asked after a Fate’s Fools song ended and she stopped dancing, swaying as she walked back toward the bar. “I’d love to hear that new song of yours again. The one you sang during that dance, just before the kiss.”
I swallowed a curse and pasted on a bright smile. “Not until the show starts. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out.”
Her face fell and I sensed a protest, but a bang from the rear of the club startled us. The hounds all went on alert as a strong wind blew through. The current wasn’t just physically powerful—pure electricity tangled in my hair, making the roots stand on end.
Cursing reached us from down a dim hallway, followed by a door slamming shut. Then Keagan, Bodhi, and Rohan appeared, wind-blown and rumpled and carrying several instrument cases to the stage.
“There’s a storm coming,” Rohan said, turning toward us a moment later, a worried look in his eyes. “And I think it’s going to be a big one.”
“This time of year?” Pete said. “The weather report this morning said aside from an afternoon shower or two, we’d have clear skies through the weekend.”
My heart thumped in excitement and I darted a hopeful glance at Llyr. A strong wind could mean turul activity, couldn’t it? It certainly carried power, and the anxious looks on my mates’ faces suggested they thought the same thing.
“It isn’t what you think,” Llyr said in a low voice. “I’d know if it were him.”
“Him who?” Nadia asked, picking up on our conversation. I buried a frustrated expletive. Nadia held up her hands. “Forget I asked,” she said, then nodded at Pete while still studying me. She narrowed her eyes as if she’d seen some of my inner turmoil, and I thought perhaps she might be part dragon, or else just incredibly intuitive.
“How about something a little stronger?” she suggested. “Something tells me Deva’s in need.”
“Coming up. What’s your poison?” Pete asked.
I looked up at the dramatically lit wall of liquor bottles serving as a backdrop for the bar and pointed at a deep blue bottle on one of the high shelves. “That’s what I want.”
Pete’s brows shot up. “High test, high quality. Not many people choose this vodka.”
“That’s because it isn’t made for humans,” Llyr said. “Pour a round for everyone, if you don’t mind.”
He touched my arm, giving me a concerned look. “Perhaps if we drink to him, he’ll hear us. The man did love his vodka.”
I took one of the shot glasses Pete lined up and filled, tossing it back and savoring the burn. Turul vodka wasn’t my favorite drink, but at the moment I wanted something to feel closer to Ozzie.
“My girl’s about to lose her shit if you don’t throw her a bone,” he said, leaning on the bar and tilting his head toward Nadia, whose aura was practically vibrating with curiosity. “You can tell me to fuck off and I won’t take it personally.”
He refilled my glass and I lifted it, inhaling the sharp, slightly spicy aroma. It smelled like Ozzie and I sighed, meeting his gaze. “You don’t need to fuck off. But if you follow the band at all, you know we’re missing someone.”
“That didn’t go without notice,” he said, eyeing Llyr. “Neither did the fact that pretty-boy here did a passable job as a stand-in to get Milo on board with booking you guys.”
“Passable?” Llyr asked, looking abashed.
“So where is he?” Nadia asked. “Please tell me you guys can still play the show without him. He’s your drummer, for Christ’s sake. I guess I kind of assumed he was around and would show up for the show. He’s not on some bender somewhere . . . or fucking dead. Is he? Please tell me he’s not dead.”
“He isn’t dead,” Llyr snapped at her.
Nadia reared back, hands held up in defense. “Got it, got it. Not dead, but Deva’s upset and you all are toasting him like it’s a goddamn memorial.”
“He’s missing,” I said. “That’s all. And since he’s a turul—the wind shifter race—I hoped that surge of wind might be a sign from him.”
I swallowed my drink while Nadia looked between me and the guys. She seemed to come to some decision and shook her head with a soft chuckle. “Five men. You have five men. I haven’t seen you with Ozzie, but I’m willing to bet he’s just as wrapped up in you as the rest of these fools are.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not sure whether I should apologize or agree. I still wasn’t sure I deserved what I already had, but wasn’t willing to give any of it up.
“I mean, can you share your secret?” Nadia asked, giving Llyr a hungry look, then sighing into her beer.
“She needs us all,” Bodhi offered. “It’s just the mechanics of their kind. Without us, she isn’t as powerful.”
Nadia latched onto Bodhi’s words, pointing at him. “You said their kind. Does that mean you’re not one? Because I sure as fuck thought you were. No human has tattoos that alive.”
Bodhi laughed and shook his head. “I’m bloodline like you, but we’ve pretty much decided I had the right mix of higher races blood to harmonize with the others. Being with them is what woke up my ink.”
Nadia looked around at the ot
her men again and nodded, returning her gaze to me. “You’ve got one of each, or you’d have one of each if Ozzie were here. So what’s a girl gotta do to get just one?”
“You just have to ask,” I said, smiling.
“You serious?” Pete said. “You lot are just handing out dragons to the highest bidder?”
I didn’t miss the avid glint in his eyes. He wanted it just as much as Nadia did. And wasn’t that what we’d learned about the bloodline so far? They needed to be balanced, and it didn’t surprise me that they’d feel that need as acutely as I’d felt my lack of soul. Even after finding three pieces, I was all too aware of what was still missing and how to get it.
But I also had the tools to find Pete and Nadia’s missing pieces, and the four hounds were already on the job.
“Not exactly handing them out, but I have a few tricks up my sleeve to give you what you need. Let’s just say finding you two soul mates is as good as done.”
Nadia glanced around, a skeptical look in her eyes. She pointed at Llyr. “Not exactly seeing any big, brawny mountains like him lying around unused.”
Pete continued to look at me, arms crossed and gaze assessing. “She’s not about to spill her secrets, Nadia. But I’ll humor her. Is there a timeline on this soul mate search? How long did it take you to find the last one?”
I blinked at him, realizing I hadn’t considered the question before. The last member of the bloodline whose soul mate I’d found was Bodhi’s mother, but Fate had been involved in that match. Did it matter how she’d been linked to her mate?
“Two days,” Bodhi said, answering for me.
“Two days? Impressive,” Pete said.
“But I knew she was mine the moment I set eyes on her,” Bodhi added.
Pete’s brows shot up. “Is that so? Call me a skeptic, but I don’t believe in love at first sight.”
“The higher races follow different rules,” Rohan said. “For many of us, it is that simple. So far, the bloodline I’ve met have worked the same way.”
Fate's Fools Box Set Page 92