“Michelle!” I hiss, “We just had a fight, he left me high and dry, and I am not doing that with him, anyway. We’re not going there. I’m not going there.”
“No shame in it, Ally,” she says with a shrug. “I told you, climb that man like a damn tree. Whether you kiss him or smack him when you get there is up to you. But go see him, find out if he’s quitting or if something happened. Don’t go in blazing double barrels, but don’t let him keep you on a chain either. You’re too good for that, even for a specimen like him.”
God, she is hung up on him. Not really. I know she’s ass over teakettle for Michael, but every time she says something flirty or sexy about Bruce, I wanna claim him.
I licked him, he’s mine!
And doesn’t that bring up images that Michelle’s trying to plant in my head.
Me on my knees in front of Bruce, his cock tracing my lips before he tells me to open my mouth. And when I do, he feeds me every inch until my tongue touches his heavy balls. I’d close my mouth, hollow my cheeks, and suck him down.
No. No, I wouldn’t. No, I’m not.
But checking on him sounds like a good plan. Reasonable and safe. Logical, even.
She must be able to see that I agree with her, at least about going to see him, because she asks, “Want me to keep Cooper? We’re going to visit my mother-in-law this afternoon, but I can take him if you need some privacy for this visit.”
Michelle’s mother-in-law has Alzheimer’s and lives in a memory care facility. It stresses her out to take Liam there, always worrying that he’ll confuse his grandmother because she’s thought he was Michael more than once. Another kid tagging along is a recipe for disaster.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll take Cooper with me. A drive to the country will be good for us both.” Even I don’t sound like I believe that.
“And he can be a buffer so you don’t bend over and present your dried up, unused lady bits to Bruce and beg him to go easy on you.” Michelle jumps out of reach, knowing that I was about to slap my hand over her mouth.
“Girl, the shit you say! Do you use that mouth with Michael?” My cheeks are pink, flushed with embarrassment.
She laughs heartily. “Honey, that’s me with a filter. You should hear the things we say when it’s just the two of us in bed and Liam’s at your place. Dirty, filthy, sexy things that’d make a porn star blush and cause a sweet, innocent thing to have a heart attack.” She steps closer and flicks my ear, leaving me in no doubt that I’m the innocent she’s talking about.
I’m not. It’s just been a while. A long while. Like since those post-divorce dates kinda while. But that’s not changing anytime soon.
* * *
Cooper’s excited to go for a drive, even though I don’t tell him where we’re going. I want to hedge my bets.
What if we drive by the farm and he’s just sitting on the porch sipping lemonade like missing practice was nothing? Or what if we see his truck, upside down with wheels spinning in the air, along the way?
No, I don’t say a word to Cooper.
But I head toward the Tannen farm by memory, not needing a map or directions even though it’s been so long since I made this drive. I feel like I’m heading straight toward the lion’s den.
There’s been quite a few changes, landmarks I remember gone. Like old man Sampson’s field, the site of our infamous mudding. It’s a pharmacy now, the rough turf replaced by the growth of Great Falls. It stings more than I let on, and I wonder if Bruce realizes.
Bruce. If he’s okay, I’m walking right into a trap, admitting that I need him, that the team needs him. Will he hold it over my head? Take delight in leaving me to fail?
I don’t want to think he’s that cruel, but I’m not sure.
The moment of truth arrives too soon, and I pull into the open gate at the Tannen farm. Except the metal arch says Bennett Ranch now. It tugs at something deep in me I didn’t even know existed. A bit of nostalgic sentimentality, a touch of sadness at the way things change.
I pull up to the house, and the front door opens.
A tall, dark-haired guy steps out cautiously. He could probably be described as handsome, but there’s something cold and scary about him, like without even knowing who’s come onto the property, he’s already half-planned your burial site on the back forty.
A thin, honey-brown-haired woman dips under his crossed arms, smiling at the car and waving like she was expecting us.
The two welcomes couldn’t be any more diametrically different.
I blink and realize who they are. Brody and Shayanne. Older versions of the people I used to know, but I can see it now.
“Uh, stay in the car for a second, baby. Let me talk to these folks real quick.” I unbuckle my seatbelt, eyes locked on Brody.
“Who are they?” Cooper asks from the backseat, trying to lift up to see over the edge of the door.
“Old friends,” I say, praying that’s true.
I get out slowly, approaching cautiously like they might attack me. I hate moving like this, willing myself invisible and non-threatening, but it seems to settle Brody a bit.
“What do you want?” he barks from the porch.
Shay smacks his chest with the back of her hand. “Ignore my rude brother. He’s Brody, I’m Shayanne, and you are . . . ?” She trails off, waiting for me to finish the introductions. She was so young the last time I saw her. I guess she doesn’t remember me.
“I know who you are,” Brody growls. Apparently, that’s a family trait, as is the ‘fuck you’ stare that makes me shrink from several yards away. “What are you doing here, Allyson?”
I swallow, my throat constricted tight with nerves. Absently, my fingers do a trick my therapist taught me to use when I feel anxious. I tap my thumb with each finger . . . 1, 2, 3, 4 . . . and then in repeating patterns . . . index, ring, middle, pinky, and then reverse the whole thing. It’s a little thing, but it helps focus me, helps me feel in control of something.
“Bruce didn’t come to practice this morning. We were . . .” I breathe deeply and try again. “I was worried because I didn’t hear from him.”
Shayanne’s smile is huge and bright. “Oh, you’re the mom coach! Dumb ass probably forgot to text you. He’s been helping me this morning, you see. I had a bit of a goat milk soap emergency and it was all hands on deck.” She talks fast, one word on top of the last, and the energy coming off her is more than I could get from a double espresso. But I still have no idea what’s going on or why Bruce no-showed.
“Goat milk soap . . . emergency?” I ask in confusion.
She nods and taps her nose. “You got it.”
I don’t have it. Goats can have emergencies? Or was it the milk that was the emergency? Or the soap? And what would be a soap emergency, anyway?
I am so lost, so I stick to what I do know.
“Could you point me toward Bruce? I thought I’d better touch base with him before Tuesday’s practice.”
You know, to see if he’s even going to come or if this so-called ‘soap emergency’ is going to keep him tied up? The least he could do is come up with something believable.
Brody grunts again, his dark eyes narrowed as they scan me. “I’ll take you to him. On one condition.”
I nod, because what am I gonna do . . . say no?
“Don’t fucking hurt him again. We got more than enough shit on our plate and don’t need to add your fucking him over to it.” His thick finger points at me threateningly, his lips curled.
Familiar. So fucking familiar.
My jaw drops in shock as a shiver of recognition runs through me, but I straighten my spine and talk back just as forcefully. “It seems that was a bit of a misunderstanding. We hurt each other.”
He scoffs, and Shay’s eyes are ping-ponging between us like we’re a tennis match, a grin spreading on her energetic face.
“Damn, girl. Not many folks bite back at Brody. I like you already.” She hooks her elbow through mine, pulling me along with her, and I foll
ow even though I have no idea where she’s taking me. She’s preferable to Brody, at least. “What’d you say your name is again?”
“Allyson. Allyson Meyers. We met several times when you were little, used to have dinner with your family,” I explain.
Shay’s eyes flicker. “That was a long time ago then, wasn’t it?” I can see that she still feels the loss of her mom and dad, and I hate that I carelessly brought it up. I’m just distracted . . . by Bruce’s MIA routine, by Brody’s glare, by my own heart’s racing.
I call out to Cooper, and he steps out of the car, looking at me for guidance. “Honey, this is Brody Tannen and Shayanne Tannen. They’re Bruce’s brother and sister.”
Brody’s eyes go downright black as coal, burning me with questions. I hadn’t considered that he might be confused by Cooper’s appearance and jump to the wrong conclusion. “Brody, Shayanne, this is my son, Cooper Meyers.” As Brody shakes Cooper’s hand, I give the slightest shake of my head and Brody visibly relaxes, the coiled tension in his muscles dissipating the tiniest bit.
Shayanne’s all smiles, though. “Well, hey there, Cooper! Wanna see some goats?”
He looks to me for permission, and when I smile, his excitement bubbles up. “Yes, ma’am!”
So I guess we’re going to see goats, and hopefully, Bruce.
Chapter 17
Bruce
“Come here, you little fucker,” I snap at the monster that’s trying to escape the reach of my outstretched arms. As rough and mean as my words are, my hands are sure and gentle. Shay loves each of these beasts, and they’re the bread and butter of her soap operation. Well, maybe not bread and butter, but they’re the milk of it, at least.
Baaarbara the goat bleats at me, which I swear sounds like ‘neener, neener, you can’t catch me’ and darts off again. I give chase, cussing a blue streak the whole time as I slide around the dirt and she escapes again. It’s then I hear giggles coming from over by the gate.
I look up and see Shayanne first, her cheeks puffed up by the big grin she’s wearing. I flip her off before I realize why she’s so amused. It registers a heartbeat later that right next to her are Allyson and Cooper, who just saw my utter failure at catching the tiny critter. Shit, I must look like a damned fool.
“Uh, hey, guys. Didn’t expect to see you out here. How was practice?” I say, wiping my brow with a bandana and glaring at the black and white fluffball that’s making me look bad.
“Seriously?” Allyson snaps.
I recognize that fire. She’s not just pissed. She’s furious on the edge of volcanic rupture. Her eyes are narrowed, she’s damn near bull-snorting through her nose, and her jaw is clenched like she’s holding back a whole litany of curse words. Probably because of Cooper, because I get the feeling she’d love nothing more than to light into me.
“I take it practice didn’t go so well, then?” I don’t dare smile as I say it, even though seeing her hot and bothered does something to me. I hate to see her upset, but damned if she’s not adorable when she’s ready to give me what-for.
“How could you?” she hisses. “They were counting on you. I was counting on you. And you’re just out here playing with goats. I’m disappointed in you, Bruce Tannen.”
She whirls on her toe, grabbing at Cooper’s hand. His eyes are wide, and I’m betting it’s likely he’s never heard his mom go nuclear on someone. She might not have gone off in a big, spectacular fashion of yelling and foot stomping, but make no mistake, her disappointment cuts deep and wide.
She’s already making headway back toward the house, and her car, I’m guessing, when Shayanne snaps her fingers, breaking me out of my trance. “Holy shit, man! What did you do? Whatever it is, you’d better go fix it. Now!”
I stumble toward the gate, the same fucker that was running from me before now chasing after my feet and getting me tangled up. “Al! What the fuck, woman! Wait a damned minute!”
She glares at me over her shoulder, and I realize that might not’ve been the right thing to say. Or appropriate language in front of Cooper. “Please, wait. What happened?”
I finally just hop over the fence and stride over quickly. I step in front of her and she makes a move like she’s going to go around me, but I’m a defensive lineman and I block her left, and then right, before she stops and huffs heavily. “Let me go. I’ll just do it on my own.”
I look to Cooper for some guidance here because I have no damn idea what’s wrong with his mother. He’s no help, though, just shrugging his bony shoulder.
I put a hand on each of Allyson’s shoulders and bend down to get in her face. From inches away, I keep my voice steady and steely, quietly demanding. “Tell me what’s wrong. What happened?”
The flints of anger in her eyes are as sharp as knives. But before she can answer, Shayanne interrupts.
“Hey, Cooper! Wanna come see my pig so the grown-ups can talk? Her name’s Bacon Seed.” She might as well be playing a flute like the Pied Piper because Cooper’s full attention goes to Shay.
“Did you say you have a pig named Bacon Seed?” He sounds pretty sure my sister is one card short of a deck. He might not be wrong.
“Yep,” Shay answers, examining the tip of her ponytail for split ends like she doesn’t have a care in the world. “Wanna see?”
I raise one brow at Allyson, asking permission. She softens under my hands, looking at her son. “It’s fine, honey. Go with Shayanne for a minute so I can talk to Coach B.”
Not Bruce but Coach B. I’m so fucked. If only I knew why.
Cooper all but runs for Shayanne, already asking questions about Bacon Seed. Though my eyes stay locked on Allyson, I hear him say something about holding the pig and Shayanne’s promise that he can.
Once they’re several yards away, I ask again. “What happened?”
She scoffs, but the hard line of her spine stays softer. “You no-showed and you damn well know it. How could you throw me to the wolves like that? Practice was a total clusterfuck.” She rolls her eyes, looking at the sky, and I swear I think she’s fighting back tears. Just how bad was it?
“Al,” I say, shifting my hand to her jawline. I’m playing with fire and I know it, but she looks so lost. “I’m so sorry. I sent you a text message that I had to miss today and included ideas for you to use for practice to keep the guys progressing. Hell, I even included a damn video of me with one of Shay’s monsters for you to show them to explain my absence.”
She goes stiff beneath my palms, jerking away. “No, you did not. I’ve been checking my phone all morning and nothing, nada, zip. Don’t try to make me think you did something you didn’t. I’m not that stupid.”
She steps back, putting two feet between us. It feels like a cavernous ravine and I hate every single fucking inch. “Al . . .” I say, following her to close the gap.
“I know we left things ugly the other day, but I never dreamed you’d take out our history on those boys. You are not the man I thought you were, not then and not now.” She somehow finds even more distance to put between us, switching to what I imagine is her professional voice. “We won’t be needing your services at any future practices or games. I’ll have your name removed from the roster. You’re off the hook, Brutal.”
I pull my phone out and shove it toward her, thinking it’s the only way to stop this merry-go-round from hell. “Look at my damn phone, Allyson. You’ll see the fucking messages.”
She rips it from my hand and presses the home button, gloating like she knows she’s going to trap me in a lie. There’s no passcode, never needed one, so she can see everything right away. She clicks into my messages and it’s right there like I said it was . . . her name at the top, a few messages in a row, and then a video.
She clicks play and my recorded voice fills the air.
“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m missing today’s practice, but I’ve got some extra chores to do today for my sister. You know how sisters can be!”
My eyes brows waggle, and I grin at my own joke on th
e screen.
“But Coach Allyson has the plan, so do everything she says. I’ll be checking for progress on Tuesday night. Oh, and one more thing . . . GOOOO WILDCATS!”
I finish the video off with a waving goat’s hoof, like she’s saying ‘bye to the team too. I’d felt a little dorky doing it but had thought the boys would get a kick out of it.
Allyson looks up at me, stricken. “I . . . I didn’t get these. Any of these. And I jumped to conclusions. I thought . . . I thought you abandoned me. I mean, abandoned us,” she corrects. She takes a shuddering breath, her blue eyes meeting mine like she’s staring down the executioner’s firing squad. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” I say honestly. I don’t know what happened to the messages because they show as sent on my end, but I believe her that she didn’t get them. Technological Karma fucking me over, I guess. “Was it that bad?”
She laughs all the way down to her toes, but it seems to be covering horror. “Oh, my God, it was awful! There was back-talk and freak-outs and cardio punishments . . . and that was just me! The boys didn’t do so hot either.” She’s shaking her head, and I can tell she’s replaying her morning over in her mind. “At first, I was furious. Then I got scared that something had actually happened to you. I drove out here looking in every ditch for that truck of yours, terrified I was going to find it. And then you’re just goofing off with goats! I might’ve overreacted a smidgen.” She holds her finger and thumb up an inch apart.
I raise a brow and spread her fingers apart several more inches. “More like that size overreaction.”
“Hmm, my memory must be going because I could’ve sworn it was bigger than that.” Her eyes go wide and her hands slap over her mouth as she shakes her head. She says something, but it’s muffled by her palms and I can’t make it out.
I push her hands down, chuckling as her joke hits me. “What was that?”
“I didn’t mean to say that! It just came out. I didn’t mean that I was thinking about . . . well, you know . . . or back then . . . or now.” She’s stammering, cheeks flushing, which makes her freckles stand out in stark relief. She looks down like she can’t meet my eyes, but I see her quick check of my midsection and can’t help but tease her.
Rough Love Page 16