by Linda Broday
“Each day will give her more confidence. I’ll walk you to the door.” Clay draped an arm around Tally’s shoulders.
She searched for something to say that might change their relationship back to the way it had been before she’d messed up and Rebel had come. Conflicting emotions raced through her. She wanted to believe Clay that Rebel meant nothing. He didn’t know how devious women could be.
Rebel knew exactly how to get what she wanted. If he chose her, Tally would pack her things.
At the door, Clay glanced back at the group around the campfire. The woman in red satin was the life of the party, it seemed, and Clay appeared anxious to get back. She wanted to ask him not to dance with Rebel, but to do so would make her seem petty and insecure.
Clay swung back to her and brushed a kiss across her lips. “Nothing’s changed. We’re still the same two people we were.”
“Are we?” Tally ached to lay her palm against his face, to smooth away the lines. But he seemed distracted.
His eyes were bathed in dark shadows. “Sleep well, Tally. I’ll keep watch over you.”
“That means more than you know.” Struggling to hold back the tears, she kissed her fingers, laid them to his lips, then slipped inside the door.
* * *
Long after Belle and Tobias had left, Tally stood at the window, gazing out at the boisterous group by the fire. She’d never felt lonelier and more cut off.
The plaintive notes coming from the fiddle drifted through the wall as Dallas set his bow in motion. The old couple ambled into the clearing to dance. It quickly became apparent that they were more than novices, their steps sure, their hold on each other unbreakable. She could hear them laughing, see devotion in every touch, and such a yearning rose inside her for the same.
Harvey Drake stepped into the lantern light. He turned in a circle, kicking up his bow legs and his heels and whooping to beat all.
Tears stung the back of her eyes. One thoughtless blunder had cost her everything.
Yes, Clay had kissed her with such passion. But had he been thinking of Rebel?
Tally gripped the curtain and watched the woman in red dance with Travis Lassiter. Rebel threw back her head in laughter, then yanked Travis so close that not one bit of space shone between them. She found his mouth and delivered a hot kiss.
“Maybe she’ll leave Clay alone,” Tally muttered to herself.
Yet when the music ended and Dallas launched into another tune, Rebel pulled Clay up from the circle of men. Tally closed her eyes, her hand over her mouth to stop the cry.
What if Clay had sold her a bill of goods? What if his words—the kiss—had been meant to placate the unhappy little wife?
Her stomach churned, whipping up a froth.
Tally opened her eyes and could just make out Clay, standing at the edge of the light, arms folded over his chest. Jack Bowdre said something to him and they got in a scuffle. Tally pressed against the windowpane, wishing she could hear. Both men were obviously angry, but Ridge Steele broke them apart before they threw a punch, and Jack limped off to the makeshift saloon.
What was that about?
Everyone sat back down and someone brought out a bottle. Clay tipped it up and practically drained it. An ache pierced Tally, taking her breath. That he’d turned to whiskey to drown his pain meant that he was wrestling with something.
Her? Rebel? His loneliness? Any one of them could easily be to blame.
Belle had said that Clay was one of the good ones and worth saving. Her advice sounded in Tally’s ears. Be still and listen to your heart. Be willing to risk everything for love.
Was she willing to trust the voice deep inside her? Willing to risk it all?
Damn Rebel Avery!
Listen to your heart, Tally.
Fifteen
A soft tap at the door alerted Tally. Clay? She hurried to open it, but the face staring back startled her. “Alice! What are you doing here?” She kept her voice low so as not to wake Violet.
The fifteen-year-old wrung her hands. “Hester Mason cut her leg bad. I didn’t know what else to do but come to you for help. I followed the map you left so I wouldn’t get lost.”
Her mind whirling, Tally quickly pulled her inside and smoothed Alice’s wild brown hair. Hester’s wound must be serious to have sent Alice.
“Honey, tell me more. Is it oozing puss?”
“Yes, and the skin around it is hot to the touch. Hester thinks infection might’ve set in.”
It sure sounded like it. Those young women didn’t have the knowledge needed for healing such a wound. She’d have to go. Tally stilled, recalling her conversation with Clay when he’d brought her back the day she’d run for Deliverance Canyon. He’d been hurt deep down. She wouldn’t do that to him again. The thought of giving Rebel a chance at him…
Still, Hester’s life was in danger and she could die. Tally chewed her lip and paced.
Alice’s stomach growled.
“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t ask if you’d eaten. You must be starving.” Tally led her to a chair at the table. “When did you last eat a meal?”
“Two days ago.” Alice gave her a wan smile. “I don’t need much. Just a bite or two of anything if you have extra. I won’t put you out.”
Tally pulled out a skillet and scrambled the girl two eggs, adding a piece of toast, and set it in front of her. Alice’s eyes grew round and she dove in. She and the other women in Deliverance Canyon deserved to live in the open, not huddling in fear like a bunch of rats. They must need supplies.
“Alice, don’t you have any medicines to treat Hester’s wound?”
The girl laid down her fork. “We ran out. Had to treat a bunch of accidents after you left.”
“You’ll stay the night and I’ll decide what to do come morning.” She’d confide in Clay and tell him she was leaving. It was the decent thing to do.
But already, her heart ached to leave him.
* * *
Clay pushed away the bottle of rotgut Rebel tried to hand him, noticing that everyone else had vanished, leaving them alone together.. “No more,” he growled. He had to keep his head clear for guard duty, and the outlaws around them were already in various stages of inebriation. Absently, he shuffled a deck of cards, his mind on Tally. His gaze swept to the dugout where he wanted to be.
“More for me then.” Rebel turned the bottle up and drank in long swallows, then burped, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.
“Where’s Travis?”
“He went to fix up his place.” Rebel cast Clay a pouty scowl. “You know I never like sleeping alone, and since you’re not offering…” She let the sentence trail.
Clay let her hint slide. “Treat Travis nice. He’s a good man.”
“But he’s not you,” she reminded him softly. “I saw you first. You care for me, Clay. I know you do.”
“As a friend, nothing more. How many times do I have to tell you that I’m married now, and Tally has my heart? What you and I had is over.” Although the words were firm, his voice was gentle. He didn’t want to hurt her and prayed it wouldn’t come to that.
Hopefully, she’d turn her attention elsewhere.
Yes, loneliness ate at him—loneliness he’d thought his marriage would cure. But the ache that rose inside was for Tally, not Rebel. He glanced again toward the dugout. How he’d love to be curled up next to her, his leg touching hers, soothing her worry.
Kissing her.
Memory of their earlier kiss sharpened the yearning to a finely honed edge. Her lips had carried a taste of desire and smoldering passion.
Hell! Whoever told him he was good husband material must’ve had their brains scrambled.
Jack Bowdre had called him a jackass. “Can’t you see what you’re doing to Tally?” he’d hollered. “She’s a damn fine woman and deserves much better
than you.”
The finger jabbing into his chest had made Clay boil. “Stay out of this.” He’d angrily shoved his best friend.
“You’re a fool,” the ex-lawman had flung at him, shaking his head sadly. “To be clear—if I have to choose between you and Tally, I’m on her side.”
The fire crackled and popped as Clay now stared sourly into the flames. Again, he swung his gaze toward the dugout, thinking he’d heard the door opening. But he saw nothing in the darkness. Must’ve been wishful thinking.
“You loved me once. You can again.” Rebel rested a hand on his thigh. “I know your secrets. I know the things you speak of in the dead of night. I know your body as well as my own.”
Clay lifted her hand off him and stood. His words came out hard. “There are plenty of men in this camp happy to while away the hours with you. You’re skilled at making men care for you, and you’ve had more lonely cowboys in your bed than I can count.” He whirled to face her. “So don’t tell me I’m the only one.”
Snatching up his things, he went to relieve the guard. He was early, but at least he’d have plenty of time to think in solitude.
He’d try to talk with Tally again tomorrow, try harder to lay her fears to rest. But he had a sinking feeling that Rebel would do everything she could to make sure his efforts were wasted.
Tom Smith, the guard on duty, glanced up at Clay. “Sounds like I missed the fun tonight. I sure would like to have danced with Rebel.”
“You’ll get your chance. I’ll make sure of it tomorrow night,” Clay said, assuring him. In fact, he’d pawn Rebel off on just about anyone who’d keep her attention.
“Looks like rain.” Tom put his rifle over his shoulder.
“Yeah, smells like it too. We can use some.”
Tom glanced down at the town. “I let a young girl through a little bit ago. She said she needed to talk to Miss Tally. I hope that was all right.”
“I’m sure it was. Thanks for telling me.” Clay made himself comfortable against a boulder and wondered what the girl could’ve wanted with Tally. He hoped nothing had happened to the women in Deliverance.
But if Tally left, would she tell him as she’d vowed to do?
He wished he’d brought his leather goods to make the lonely hours go faster. The saddle, reins, and harnesses he’d been working on were only half done. The wedding and everything that followed had taken his concentration and time, but he had to get back to his job. He’d owe Luke Legend for the lumber that should arrive any day.
The harnesses would just take a few hours to complete. At least those would be done. Luke had asked for ten sets, and he had five.
But what he really itched to make was a new pair of boots for Tally. She needed some badly. He would choose his softest leather and put a cushion of lamb’s wool inside so she would hopefully be able to walk without too much pain. His admiration for her had grown even more after learning what Slade Tarver had done to her feet. The bastard! Anger shook him and he longed for the day when he could take Tarver from this world.
But for all Tally had endured, she never complained. Just went about the business of living as best she could.
A loose rock rolling down the steep bluff alerted him. He jumped to his feet, his gun drawn. “Whoever’s there had better speak up,” he barked.
“Don’t shoot. It’s me, Tally.”
Surprise rolled over him. Had she come to tell him she was leaving? Or did she plan on bashing his head in? From what little she’d revealed, she knew ways to kill a man.
And this distance between them that Rebel caused only confused the issue.
He reached for her hand and pulled her up onto the rocky outcropping, the spot offering a clear view in all directions. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Mrs. Colby?”
“We need to talk.” Tally stepped away from him, her arms folded.
The blunt statement got right to the point. Good. He liked things simple, with no beating around the bush. Except her eyes were flashing in the darkness like streaks of lightning. Hell!
“Make yourself comfortable.” The granite lines of her face told him all he needed to know—he was in hot water. And from the anger in her face, this talk might take all night. He spread out his bedroll for her to sit on. She dropped onto it and he sat next to her—on her gun side, where it would be harder for her to draw and shoot him.
“First though, a young friend from Deliverance came to me tonight asking for my help.”
“Tom told me he let her through. What does she want from you?”
“Clay, I need to leave. Hester Mason, the woman I left in charge, cut her leg, and from Alice’s description, it’s infected. Untreated, she could lose it.”
“Don’t they have medicines and herbs for things like this?”
Tally sighed. “They ran out. Also out of food. They need supplies and we have a little extra here I can take.”
“Sure, we’ll help all we can. I’m glad you came to me. We’re much stronger working together. Darlin’, let me help. You don’t have to shoulder responsibility for them alone. We’ll think of something so you don’t have to leave.”
“What else can we do if I don’t go?”
“Let’s send Jack with Alice. Of all of us, he has some medical knowledge from the war. We’ll load him down with everything your friends need.” Clay took her hand. “It makes more sense than uprooting Violet again. You saw how distraught she got when you tried to leave before.”
“I know. Do you think Jack will go? You haven’t even asked him.”
At least she hadn’t discarded the idea, and that was something. “He’ll go.”
“I really feel like I should be there with Hester. It’s hard to turn their care over to someone else after all these months.” She faced him. “I led them out of Creedmore, protected and fed them. I’m not sure I can let anyone take over, but I’m trying.”
“If Jack can’t or doesn’t want to go, I’m taking you.”
“Fine.” Her reply came through stiff lips. She watched the approaching storm. “I saw you and Rebel tonight. Can’t you see she’s trying to drive a wedge between us?”
“No one can do anything unless we let them. Trust me, Tally. It’s over between me and her, just like I told you.” He put a finger on her chin and turned her face to him, softening his voice. “You said you wouldn’t give up on us.”
“Maybe it’s you who has.” Anger hardened her beautiful features. “Your actions are what I see, and they’re not matching your words.”
“She’s only a friend,” he shot back.
Tally gave an unladylike snort. “I wrestled with temptation tonight. I wanted to come out there and confront you both, except my good sense won out.”
Surprise rippled through him. “If you had, you’d have heard me tell Rebel I have no plans to change my marital status and I’m very happy you’re my wife.”
“Are you? Happy, I mean.”
Clay turned her hand over and kissed her palm. “You have so much more to offer than Rebel. You’re fine china, and she’s pottery. Not that I’m criticizing her for being who she is. The hard truth is that she thrives on the rough atmosphere of saloons, on the flirting and the chaos, and loves that life.”
In a moment’s silence, the howl of a coyote sounded in the distance and a chorus of crickets chirped nearby. He met Tally’s dark gaze and touched her cheek. “Rebel is my past. But you…darlin’, you’re my future. We have a good life ahead of us—if you stay. I can’t shake the feeling that you still have one foot out the door.”
“I made a huge mistake in leaving before and I regret letting my fear win.” Tally huffed out an angry sigh and glanced up at the cloudy, dark sky. “In truth, I’m madder at myself than you.” She glanced away. “I don’t blame you for moving out. That’s the only choice I left you. You didn’t deserve getting me for a wife.” Her voice
hardened. “Maybe I really am as crazy as they say.”
Clay yearned to press his lips against the long column of her throat, yearned to touch her, to hold her in his arms and talk of everything and nothing, the way they had in bed the first nights.
Only she wouldn’t welcome that in her state of mind.
“You’re not crazy, and I don’t want to hear you talk like that. This is only temporary,” he said softly. “I moved out because I can’t live with you until I stop seeing distrust in your eyes.”
Tally shifted and he watched her chin quiver.
“It seems to me the best way to gain trust and straighten out our marriage is lying next to each other.” Her voice broke. “Not this distance that I hate.”
“Do you want me to move back in? Is that what you’re saying?” Clay searched her eyes in the stillness that followed, looking for clues to her thinking. The hard lines of her features showed no sign of softening. Still, she hadn’t shot him yet, so that had to count for something.
She whispered at last. “Yes.”
Happiness surged through him. Yet, he had to find out something first.
“Can you look at me and believe with all your heart that I can keep you safe?”
He was met with stony silence. “Did you come up here because you trust me less with Rebel than with you? Do you fear that I’ll wind up in bed with her if I’m not in bed with you? Is that the whole sum of it, Tally?”
Sixteen
The question hit home. It was true. But mostly it was Rebel and her ability to charm men that Tally didn’t trust. She chewed her bottom lip and glanced up at the sky again in time to see a blinding flash of lightning. The smell of rain was thick on the bluff overlooking Devil’s Crossing. Those jagged flashes seemed to be inside her as well, playing havoc with her nerves.
Misery wound through her and she was so confused. Everything had gotten all wadded up in a tight ball. Yet he wanted honesty and that’s what he’d get.
“I came up here tonight because I need to figure out where I’m going. When we married, my dream was nothing more than for a real home and family.” Tally sought the courage to say what she must. “But after being here with you, I realize that it’s not enough without love. I want to know what love is like between a husband and wife.”