by Linda Broday
The sky was still dark when she stirred, determined to find Clay. She quickly dressed and found him standing at the base of the windmill, staring off into nothingness as though getting his mind focused on the task ahead.
Though he didn’t turn, she knew he heard her as she stole quietly up behind. The need to touch him, to lay her face against his back, was more than she could bear. But would he welcome her touch? The angry words he’d thrown at her had stung to the quick. She reached out, fingertips away from his shirt, only to let her hand fall.
“Morning,” Clay said low.
She put her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his back, breathing his scent. “I missed you.”
His voice rumbled. “I missed you, too.”
“I don’t want this wall between us. Fighting is ugly, and I’m sorry for what I said.”
“Then I hope you’ve come to see reason.” He turned. “My way is best, and Violet needs you.”
So nothing had changed. Tally stepped away, anger rising, and speared him with a glare. “Here’s something for you to chew on. I started this job over two years ago and I mean to finish it. I’m going—either with you, or alone. Your choice.”
His eyes blazed. “You’re determined to get your way, aren’t you?”
“It’s not that. I have to go.”
“Do you know why I try to do everything myself?”
She met Clay’s anger and answered it with her own. “Enlighten me.”
“Because there was no one around when I was left to make my own way. To find my own food, a bed, a way to silence the explosions of the cannons, the screams of the dying. I had to do that myself. And when I killed my first man, I had to handle that myself too. Just me.”
The confession brought tears to her eyes and she saw the immense pain of the fourteen-year-old boy he’d been. She reached out, but not in time. He strode away with the windmill mimicking her crying heart.
It would be light soon. She should probably get the pack mule loaded. She saw Luke and Houston stoking the campfire. They, too, would ride out with the dawn.
Belle January stepped through the opening in their tent. Tally hurried to ask a favor.
“Yes, me and Tobias will watch after Violet. It’s no bother. We love that little girl.”
Tally kissed her cheek. “You’re a godsend. Thank you.”
She turned toward the hardest task—giving Violet a proper goodbye. It ripped her heart out to leave her daughter, but she had no choice. A light went on in Dr. Mary’s tent—she must be an early riser too. When Tally turned, she noticed the slight, nightgowned figure carefully coming toward them, her walking stick out in front, the other hand clutching Bullet’s fur.
Tally’s heart melted. She pulled her shawl tight and went to greet the crying girl. This was going to be more difficult than she’d anticipated. She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Mama, where are you?”
“Honey, I’m here.” Tally knelt down and folded her arms around the girl. “Please don’t be sad.”
“I need you. I heard you and Daddy arguing. I don’t want you to be mad. Are you both leaving me?”
Bullet whined and lay down next to Violet. The pet must sense the heavy heartache that surrounded them.
“Honey, big people say hurtful things they don’t mean sometimes. We’re going to be all right. And you will too with the Januarys.” But would she and Clay return to what they’d had? That was the question in Tally’s mind. She wiped Violet’s eyes and smoothed back her tangled blond hair. “It won’t be for long. I promise.”
“My real mama said that too and she left me in that horrible place.”
Pain and guilt pierced Tally’s heart. “I promise I’m not going to do that. I will come back.” If at all possible, she added silently. “We’re a family and we love each other.”
Sobs erupted from Violet. “I don’t want you and Daddy to die.”
“Honey, we’re not going to die. What makes you think we will?”
“Mr. Tarver is a bad, bad man. He might kill you. He nearly did before. I hate him.”
Clay came up beside them and laid a hand on Violet’s head. “Don’t waste time on hate. He’s not worth it. Baby girl, he’s no match for me and your mama, I guarantee that. Rotten-to-the-core men like him can’t win. You know why?”
“No.”
“Because they have no foundation, no soul, no heart. You have to have all three to be victorious. We have those.”
His eyes raised to Tally’s and acceptance there heartened her. She was able to take a deep breath for the first time that morning.
But what he’d said to Violet was right. People like Tarver would always fail in the end, because they had nothing to build on. She kissed Violet’s cheek. “Remember the story I read to you last night—the ‘King of the Golden River’? The good brother received riches beyond compare after he unselfishly gave every drop of his water to the old man, the sick child, and the poor little puppy.”
“Yeah, and his mean ol’ brothers got turned into black stones because they wouldn’t share,” Violet answered. “I was real glad.”
Clay lifted her into his arms. “That’s what we’re going to do to Slade Tarver, so he can’t hurt any more people.”
“Good. Make their stones extra, extra hard.”
More men were walking through what would soon be the main street of their town. The position of the sun said it was almost time to leave. Clay kissed Violet and set her down. “Tally, can I have a word?”
She told Violet to stay put and joined Clay.
“All right, we ride out together.” His voice was low and curt at her ear, his breath teasing a curl at her temple. “At least promise to stay back when the firing starts. Can you do that?”
“I’ll try my best.” Their argument wasn’t resolved by a long shot, but she’d make time to reason with him on the trail. She pasted on a smile as she went to collect Violet.
“Come, honey. Let’s get you dressed and fix some breakfast.” Tally took the walking stick and clutched her daughter’s hand.
She didn’t want to hold Clay up, and he was already itching to ride. Foreboding held her in its grip. All their lives were about to change.
* * *
A pink blush swept across the sky as Tally stood with Clay and told the Lone Star visitors goodbye. It appeared everyone had turned out for the send-off—except for Montana Black. The outlaw was nowhere to be seen, and Tally wondered where he’d gone.
She put that out of her mind and swung her attention to their guests, relieved that Luke had made a comfortable bed in the back of the wagon for Josie and the baby. Hopefully, all the jostling wouldn’t set the new mother back, although Dr. Mary had given them her blessing to travel.
Clay shook hands with Luke. “I can’t thank you enough for the help. For you, Houston, and Josie to stop your lives and come here went above and beyond mere friendship.”
“I wish I could go with you.” Luke shot a glance toward his wife. “You understand.”
“I certainly do. You’re needed at the Lone Star. Get Miss Josie home, so she can get her strength back.”
With Clay’s strong arm to bolster her, Tally swallowed a lump and squeezed Josie’s hand. “Take good care of little Elena Rose.”
“I will. Good luck in ending the nightmare in Creedmore. Stay safe.” Josie put her arm around Luke’s neck as he lifted her into the wagon, babe and all.
Luke threw a light blanket over his pretty wife and patted his vest. “I have all the letters you men wrote. I’ll deliver them to the ladies very soon.”
His black trousers, shirt, and hat adding an ominous look, Jack Bowdre spread his legs in a wide stance and hooked his thumbs in his gun belt. “Don’t add anything in about my cussing. Darcy Howard thinks I’m a Bible-toter.”
“Fat chance of
that,” Dallas Hawk said.
“Hey, I’m a good guy.”
“We’ll just head on down the trail while you sort that out, amigos.” Luke shook the reins and the wagon wheels rolled.
Sensing the parting had come, Violet whimpered beside Tally and pressed against her, burying her face in the folds of Tally’s leather riding skirt. Tally laid a hand on her shoulder, praying the child wouldn’t become inconsolable. She couldn’t leave her this way.
The other wagons fell in behind Luke, and Clay stirred. “We have to go too.”
Panic filled Violet’s face and she clutched Tally’s skirt tightly. “No! I don’t want you to leave. Please.”
“Honey, it’s only for a little while.”
Belle came forward. “Sweet girl, I need your help. One of those baby goats has lost its mother. We gotta find her before the coyotes do. If she dies, her baby will, too.”
“And I need someone to help me make cookies,” Susan Worth said, winking at Tally and Clay. “We’re going to have the best time, you and me, and your mama and daddy will be back before you can even miss them good.”
Violet sighed and finally relinquished her hold on Tally. “Just don’t forget about me.”
“As if we ever could, honey.” Tally gave her another hug and kiss. Fighting tears, she swung into the saddle.
The windmill that had always seemed so comforting now seemed to wail as though someone was dying. Would she ever see this place again? Would Violet have even more loss in her short life?
As they went through the opening of the town, Tally turned for one last look at Devil’s Crossing. It was here she had learned to be a wife, to open her heart just a little and find her way. To discover who she really was. To start to heal.
And it was here she learned to love and be loved.
The morning’s thin light shone on the new buildings that would hopefully draw new settlers. Clay’s dream was about to come true.
They rode in silence, Clay’s face dark beneath the shadow of his hat. She cleared the lump from her throat. “Clay, I think we should rename our town.”
“Devil’s Crossing doesn’t exactly speak of a bright future.” The saddle creaked when he swiveled. “Any ideas?”
“Maybe something to do with hopes or dreams. How about Dreamer’s Valley?”
“I like that. Or Hope’s Crossing?”
She grinned. She liked his suggestion the best. “The others should also have a say. They have as much at stake as we do.”
“Sounds like a vote is on the way.” Clay maneuvered his mount closer until his leg brushed hers. “I wish you’d have listened and stayed behind. But I knew better than to insist. You’d have ridden after me anyway.”
“You do know me.” She’d adopted a pleasant tone, determined not to get upset.
“We’ll stop tonight at a cave I know. I figure it’ll take us four days to reach Deliverance Canyon, and you can check on the ladies. I know you’ve been worried about them.”
“With Slade scouring the countryside, the risk of discovery is awfully high. But Alice assured me they continued to be very careful under Hester’s guidance.” Tally prayed they were all well. It had about killed her when two more of the women got sick last winter and passed because they had no access to a doctor or medicine. She’d always be grateful to Luke for providing basic necessities.
Even so, they were little more than rats huddling in a hole, and it was time to get them out of there and back among the living.
She turned her thoughts to Clay and his plans. They’d have plenty of quiet time to talk through their problems. She wanted their marriage to work more than anything.
They rode single file through a mesquite thicket, staying close to each other, every nerve taut. A rider suddenly shot out in front of them from the side.
Her mare, Sugar, reared up, her legs flailing the air. Tally grabbed the reins and held on tight, keeping her seat.
Clay yanked his Remington from the holster and pointed it at the rider. “Who are you?”
The man’s long, gray, shaggy hair looked oddly familiar.
Montana raised his empty hands. “Just me.”
“What the hell? You know better than to ride out in front of me. I oughta shoot you where you stand.” Clay reached for the mare’s bridle and Sugar settled.
Though Clay tried to corral them, Tally heard the string of cusswords that spewed from his mouth. She didn’t blame him for being mad. That was a foolish thing for anyone to have done in outlaw country.
Tally leaned forward to pat Sugar’s muscular neck. “You missed the big send-off this morning.”
“There’ll be others. It’s not the last time we’ll see Luke Legend.” Montana coolly picked his teeth with a long knife. “I’m coming with you,” he announced.
“The hell you are! I don’t want you within twenty miles of Creedmore.” Clay angrily jammed his gun back in the holster. “My job will be difficult enough. If I had my druthers, Tally would stay behind as well.”
Montana put his knife away. “I ain’t gonna argue with you. I’m coming and that’s that. I aim to make sure you both get back to sweet little Violet.”
Tally narrowed her eyes. “Did she put you up to this?”
“Nope. Sure the hell didn’t. Thought of it all by myself.”
Tally watched the angry tic in Clay’s jaw. She understood all the reasons why he’d be mad—the main one being that the old outlaw wasn’t that trustworthy. Yet she sympathized with the man. Montana had a soft spot for their daughter, and that had put some good inside his rotten, black heart.
She moved her horse closer to Clay and leaned over so Montana wouldn’t hear. “Let him come. Like it or not, we can use his help. Remember that he spent some time with Slade and his bunch after you shot him. They consider him a friend. And besides, there are a lot more men running Creedmore than just the three of them. They have about two dozen on the payroll to keep the women in line.”
An irritated grunt rose from Clay’s chest. He turned to the old outlaw. “Stay out of my way. I won’t hesitate to shoot you. Again.”
Montana grinned, showing his three missing teeth. “I always knew you liked me, Colby.”
“You’re a crazy old coot!” Clay spurred his gelding and took off at a fast trot.
Tally didn’t spare Montana a glance as she hurried after Clay, but the horse’s hooves striking the ground behind her said the old outlaw had wasted no time in taking Clay up on his invitation—such as it was.
They rode for two hours before stopping at a watering hole to rest and let the horses drink. Tally’s thoughts were on the monumental job ahead.
She’d learned the hard way not to count on things in this desolate land.
Twenty-eight
They arrived at the cave Clay spoke of for the night. Montana took care of the horses while Clay hunted, and they dined on roasted prairie chicken and rabbit. Montana lost no time in going to sleep. Like a baby, get his stomach full and he started snoring.
Tally took Clay’s hand. “Let’s move to the opening and talk.”
After moving away and getting settled, she glanced out at the stars. “Clay, what’s happening to us? Why are we fighting?”
He shrugged. “Beats the hell out of me. I just want to keep you safe and for you to trust me to do so. I said a lot of hurtful things and I apologize.”
“I’m sorry too.” She rested her head on his shoulder and he put his arm around her. “You were right. I haven’t gone through any more than the rest in our town. I’ve been wearing sackcloth and ashes, feeling sorry for myself. And maybe I have had one foot out the door, looking for an excuse to leave. It’s easier than learning to trust, to put mine and Violet’s welfare fully in your hands. I do want to. It’s just so stinking hard. How do I do it, Clay? Tell me.”
Clay kissed her temple. “I think you fi
rst have to believe deep down that I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Lady, you’re the most precious thing to me. I would lay down my life to protect you and our daughter.”
“I know you would. I really do believe that. The part I struggle with is turning over decisions to you. I can’t relinquish that. I’ve done it far too long, as have you. We both want to be in charge.” Now that she’d said the words aloud, she saw it clearly. “Two people can’t handle the reins at the same time, not when I want to go one way and you the other.”
“No, it doesn’t work.”
Tally raised her head and moved to face him. “So what do we do?”
“I don’t know. I do want our marriage to succeed.”
“Tell me what happened when you found you had no family left. Where did you go?” She ached to think about the scared boy with no one.
“I started walking west. I ran into an old woman and stayed a month or so with her, helping around the place. She gave me some clothes and burned my ragged uniform. Told me about the opportunities that waited and told me cattlemen were hiring young drovers to drive their herds to Kansas and other places. I worked for Charles Goodnight, Jesse Chisholm, and a few others, and bought a ranch outside of Cimarron with the money I earned.” He ran a hand over his eyes. “Then trouble found me. I settled it with my six-gun. It put me on the run. I threw in with outlaws and found killing came natural.” His voice lowered. “I had a talent for drawing fast, my aim sure, and developed a reputation that made any chance of a normal life impossible.”
“But you want more now. I see it in your eyes, hear it in your voice.”
“Yeah.” He picked up a rock and threw it down below.
“You’ll make it happen.” She drew a small jar of aloe vera salve from her pocket.
Clay took it and gently rubbed a portion into the wound on her cheek. “So will you.”
The night air whispered around them, and Tally took comfort in Clay’s gentle fingers and thought about what he’d told her. He’d been a successful rancher. She could picture him in that life. He probably loved the peace it brought. Then someone had taken it all away. Like with her.