by Zoe Dawson
He hoped like hell they would. But he had to be aware that Jo could decide not to move. His fear of what the TGG might be capable of made him wary, hypersensitive. He had no proof those men were TGG. Maybe he was making himself paranoid because of Asahi’s death. He was more worried about leaving her, his mom, and Ceri alone in New York City now. God, he hated this damn city with a vengeance. It all came roaring back along with everything he’d felt back then. He wanted to go back to neutral, but he couldn’t. Jo, Ceri, and his mom had opened up his heart, and Asahi had healed it with his actions and his intentions.
“You know that I would never block you from seeing Ceri. She’s your daughter as well as mine. We can talk about her coming to see you. Let’s enjoy the time you have left here. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Okay?”
“Okay. What time is the parent-teacher conference?”
“The final open house starts at seven, then we’ll meet with her teacher at eight.” They started walking again.
At the front of the store, she kissed him again. This one lingered. “Have fun teaching Ceri to swim.”
“I will.” He watched her walk back inside, that sixth sense tingling.
“How far do I have to put my face in the water?”
“You’ll have to submerge your face before you can blow bubbles.”
She swallowed, and her grip on him tightened.
“You thinking about when you were dumped into the lake? That making you scared?”
She was trembling a little, and he didn’t like that she was scared. He wanted to immediately take her out of the pool and give in to her fear. But he couldn’t do that. Being a father was a lot like being a drill sergeant. He needed to help Ceri face her fears, not run from them.
“You were brave that night, right? You did as I said, and everything worked out. Fear is no illusion. Fear is real. It keeps us alive. It’s why we get scared.”
“Fight or flight,” she murmured, her eyes calculating.
“So what do you think we can do to overcome fear?”
She tilted her head. “Well, if it’s important and we need to feel it, but when we have to overcome it, then we need to manage it effectively.”
He looked into her cute face, the ends of her pigtails wet from when she’d gone into the water. There was an eagerness to her that shone from her dark eyes. His kid had grit. He swam to the edge of the pool with her, lifted her out and set her on the deck.
“Are we not going to swim?”
“We can’t until you learn to put your face in the water. Then I can teach you to tread water, then to stroke. But you have to build on skills. Just like ballet. You have to have a foundation.” He tweaked her nose. “To manage fear, we need to change the conversation in our heads. The one that tells us water means drowning and putting my face in it is counterproductive to breathing.”
Her face went sly. “Are you going to blow bubbles?”
“I am. Watch me.”
He put his face in the water and started to blow. Then he brought his head up and looked at her.
“My conversation needs to be: If I want to learn how to swim, I have to put my face in the water. As long as I hold my breath and blow out, I’ll be fine.”
“See how easy that is?”
She reached out her arms, rolling her eyes. “You would say that if it was hard.”
He chuckled. “Most things are hard until you learn how to do them.” He reached for her, and the warmth of her small body made him feel so much like a dad, it made his chest tight. “I’ll hold you and you blow as hard as you can.”
“Will there be ice cream in this for me when I’m done?”
“Reverse bribery?”
She shrugged. “Hey, I’m a five-year-old kid. Ice cream works.”
“Okay, ice cream it is.”
She took a big breath, and he held her as she pushed her face in the water and blew. Water went everywhere and when he brought her up, she was coughing and beaming. “Did I do it?”
“Did you ever! You caused a tsunami. The pool people have asked us to leave because we’re causing natural disasters here.”
She giggled, a disarming gleam in her eyes. “You’re fibbing…no, you’re teasing me just like a dad!”
He laughed softly. “Ceri, I am your dad.”
“Yeah, you are. I’m pretty lucky.”
“I think I’m the lucky one here.”
“We’re both lucky. How about that?”
“I’ll take it.”
After he taught her to tread water, it was enough for one day. He got her into the locker room and changed into her street clothes. They stopped at the first ice cream place he saw, and he got her a scoop of chocolate. There was no way Jo could be mad about this.
“You swim a lot in the Navy?”
“I swim a lot as a SEAL which is an acronym for Sea, Air and Land. I can operate in any environment, including artic.”
“Wow. Which is the hardest?”
“Most people probably would say swimming. We’re used to moving around on land. But very little practice moving in water.”
She took a spoonful of her ice cream, her face thoughtful. “That makes sense. We don’t live in the ocean.”
“That’s right, and swimming is considered a specialized skill. We as SEALs have to keep up with all of our skills for water, air, and land.”
“Air? Like in flying.”
“Air like in jumping out of planes.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. That’s crazy scary.”
“It is to most people I guess, but after a few jumps, it’s not so bad.” He reached over to wipe her messy chocolate face with a napkin, and she grinned. “Trust me, swimming will make you a better ballerina.”
She dodged the napkin and gave him a cold, gooey ice cream kiss on the face, then laughed. His heart swelled when she picked up a napkin and solemnly wiped his face. “I do trust you, Daddy.” She tilted her head. “Can I get one more scoop?”
He laughed out loud.
When they got back to Jo’s apartment, Ceri regaled her baa-baa with her ordeal at the pool and earned him a stern look when she told his mom about the ice cream parlor. She took Ceri into the bathroom to clean her up before dinner, and then Ceri was allowed screen time. She went into her bedroom after blowing him a kiss, which he caught and brought to his lips.
“She’s a handful,” his mom said as she came into the living room. He was on the couch checking his messages and emails. He put his phone away when she sat down next to him. “How are things going with Jo?”
“Good.” His uncertainty was hidden, or so he thought. His mom was an astute woman.
She gave him a probing, impatient look. “Did you bring up moving?”
“I did. She’s thinking about it.” He toyed with a loose thread on the arm of the couch. “She and I are talking about Ceri, custody…us.”
“I couldn’t be happier about that. That girl is a keeper. You’d be a fool to let her get away again.”
Hit with a surge of guilt, he clenched his teeth, shaken by his mom’s comment. Losing Jo and Ceri to distance and deployments was a reality he had to face. If she wasn’t willing to move, it would be very difficult to keep up the kind of relationship he wanted with them. “I agree with you, Mom. But we both must be realistic. It’s a big step for her to leave everything she’s known and uproot Ceri. She’s dedicated to raising Ceri, and I can’t fault her for that. We both want what’s best for our daughter.”
“I understand that, but you also have to consider your own happiness. That girl is much too worried about how everything will affect Ceri and not enough about how she deserves to get everything she wants.”
He smiled softly and her eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, Mom? I seem to recall a mother who gave everything to her children and took nothing for herself. History seems to be repeating itself here with Ceri and Jo.”
“That’s a good point, my Ry-tan. I have the wisdom to understand that giving y
our life up for your kids only leaves you without companionship. Kids adapt and grow up.” She patted his cheek. “Too smart for their britches and thinking they know it all.”
“We do know it all, at least until it comes crashing in on us.” He turned toward her, taking her hands in his. “Speaking of kids…I found out something today about Asahi that I want to share with you.”
“What is it?”
“Asahi was working with the police when he was killed.” She gasped, and her eyes filled with tears. He pulled her against him. “He was undercover, Mom. That’s why he changed his mind about joining the gang.” Her next gasp caught on a sob. “He wanted to become a police officer, but something went wrong.”
Tears streamed down her face. “And I thought the worse of him.” She clenched her hands in her lap and shook them. “I made a naïve choice when I got married and thought your father was a decent man, but I was wrong.” She stared off into space. “He bitterly disappointed me. I wanted you and Asahi to be good citizens. It’s all I wanted for you along with the happiness it brings. But, I have to admit, regretfully, I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt and just lumped him in with his father. I wish I could tell him how sorry I am that I didn’t believe in him.” She reached out and clasped his hands. “Thank you for telling me that. It was devastating to lose him both to what I thought was a life of crime like your father and to death But now that I’ve reconnected with you, Ry-tan, I am ready to move on into this new life with Jo, you, and Ceri. Everything will work itself out. Trust me.”
He wanted to believe that it would, that he and Jo would have their happily ever after, but he couldn’t fully let himself believe it. Couldn’t let himself fully want it. Jo held their lives in her hands, and she would be the one to sacrifice. It seemed fitting that she would be the one to decide their fate.
He would support her, no matter what was decided, and do his best to keep them all together no matter how many deployments or how much distance was between them.
15
All afternoon, Jo couldn’t get her mind off Dragon, those men in her shop, and her responsibilities to Ceri. She finished up her last client—the tattoo, a dancing crane in black, turned out spectacular and her client loved it. After giving aftercare instructions, she cleaned up her workstation and grabbed her purse.
“You heading home to your hunky SEAL?”
“Yes, I’m heading home, Morgan, and yes, Dragon will be there.”
“Dragon?”
“That’s his sexy call name.”
“You know, I really hate you sometimes.”
“Ha! Don’t. I have to make some heavy-duty life decisions that will affect my shop, your life, and mine.”
“Is that right? Are you picking up stakes and moving?”
“I don’t know. It depends on a lot of things.”
“But what about your expansion goals?” Morgan looked uncertain. “I have all these interviews lined up. Should I cancel them?”
“No, not yet. I haven’t made a final decision.”
“It can’t be easy. You have a secure business, all Ceri’s activities and school are here, your life is here and everything you worked so hard for. It will be scary and complicated to start over. What about Gen?”
“Oh, something I forgot to mention. Gen is Dragon’s mom.”
“Shut the freaking door! No way.”
“I had no idea when I moved into her building, next door to her, that she was related to him.”
“Wow, sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. But I guess that means she’s Ceri’s grandmother. I bet she’s stoked about that. She loves Gen.”
“She is. Dragon came here for his mom and found out about Ceri the first time he met her.”
“Yeah, I know you’ve wondered about him ever since you found out you were pregnant. This is a good thing he came back. Otherwise, Ceri would have never had a chance to know him. I thought she would have regretted that, maybe not now when she’s little, but after she’s grown up. Every little girl needs their dad.”
Jo couldn’t seem to shake the last thing Morgan said. Jo hadn’t had the benefit of her own father in her life. He’d left and her mom hadn’t remarried but raised Jo all by herself. It was interesting that Jo had a one-night stand and ended up pregnant by a man she barely knew. But she knew him now, and she had no doubts about his character. But something was holding her back. She was falling for Ryuu Shannon, there was no doubt in her mind. Six years ago, she’d been infatuated with him, in lust with him. But now their relationship was tempered with this mutual respect, ease of communication, and a shared responsibility. Of course, the mind-blowing sex was still a thing. The man was crazy-good in bed.
She’d always enjoyed the end of the day and going home to her child and Gen. But now her anticipation was palpable. Knowing that she was going to see Dragon heightened her senses tenfold.
That fact that they were going to attend a function for Ceri made her feel more connected to him, as if his promise of being there to support her was valid. Not that she thought Dragon would say one thing and do something else. Jo was just used to not having him around.
But as she came into the apartment, he rose from the couch and came toward her. “Hey, babe. How was the rest of your day?”
“Productive.” It felt good when his arms went around her, and he hugged her in greeting, as if they were used to doing this. He smelled good, spicy and delicious. She buried her nose in his neck and stood there for a bit.
“Ceri had a great lesson. She’s finishing up with screens, and my mom has already started dinner.”
“Great. I’m going to take a quick shower and change for the open house.”
“I’m going for a run before dinner. I couldn’t seem to fit it in at my usual hour.” His hand slipped to her hip, and he caressed her with deliberate slowness.
She tipped her head to one side, feeling impish “Is that so?” She grinned as she raked her thumb over the dark stubble on his chin. “I didn’t hear any complaining this morning when we were…ah…exercising. Now there’s nothing but bellyaching?” She sniffed. “If you don’t want to exercise with me anymore, that can be arranged.”
Dragon stared at her for a second, then let his breath go in a rush of mock exasperation. “Ooh, ultimatums from a tough cookie. Let’s not get hasty,” he said.
Jo laughed, then sobered. “I could exercise with you all night.”
He leaned in, his expression turning serious. “We practically did. Thing is, I don’t feel tired at all.”
“Me either,” she admitted.
The laughter went out of his eyes completely as he gazed down at her, the pulse in his neck suddenly noticeable. He spanned her jaw with his big hand. He started to dip his head down. “Maybe you can wait on that shower and we’ll go to your room and exercise together.”
Jo read his intent, and a shudder ran through her as she hesitated. If he kissed her now, her resistance to him was low, and she would be lost. Despite how much she wanted it to happen, she didn’t relish the thought of Ceri and his aged mother knowing they were in her bedroom together. His mom would obviously know why they were in there, but Ceri would be confused. Jo wasn’t quite ready to be so open about physical intimacy with Ceri.
“That would be wonderful if there wasn’t an audience,” she whispered.
His eyes mesmerized her, and his touch was infinitely gentle as he dragged his hand through her hair and caught her by the back of the head, drawing her to him. His lips were warm as he brushed a corner of her mouth with a whisper of a kiss, then roughly pressed her against him, his breathing labored. “That’s a good but unwanted point. Dammit, I hate being a grown-up.”
Jo stroked his jaw with her thumb. “Can I get a raincheck?”
“Yes, raincheck, but be prepared to play for the whole game.”
She went to go by him and elbowed him in the ribs. “You going to put me in, coach?”
He slapped her on the butt, and she jumped as he reached for
the door handle. “You are dangerous, lady.” His eyes gleamed as he opened the door and grinned. “That innocent look you got going there is all for show, isn’t it?”
There was something about the way he said it that made her smile. The look in his eyes was oddly protective, and she liked the even more.
“I guess you would know that better than me.” She gave him a steady stare, sticking her tongue out at him.
“I’m not going to get caught in that. I’d better get running or I’ll find something you can do with that tongue of yours.”
“Coward.”
“Brat.”
The conversation was totally silly, and they both realized it. But their bantering definitely soothed what could have been an ill-conceived and embarrassing situation, and she couldn’t be sorry about that. She could hear him chuckle as the door closed. She didn’t think she’d ever been this eager for bedtime.
By the time she had a hot, leisurely, therapeutic shower and got dressed, Jo had her balance back and a vitalizing energy made her feel as if she was walking on air.
She was humming to herself as she entered the kitchen. Dragon was leaning against the counter, an empty water bottle in his hand, a grin on his face. His hair was disheveled, and a light coating of perspiration sheened his skin, delineating his thick biceps, the sexy column of his neck, and dripping off his chin.
She stopped, backtracked, and pulled a hand towel out of the linen closet in the hall, then threw it to him as she came back. He was on a second bottle of water but caught the towel with quick reflexes.
“Thanks, brat.”
“You’re welcome, handsome.”
His eyes twinkling, he wiped his face, neck, and down his arms, then tucked the towel in the waistband of his shorts.
“It smells good in here. What is Gen cooking up, and where is she?” She leaned against the counter next to him, their arms lightly brushing. He took another chug of water, then wiped his mouth. She slanted an amused glance up at him.
“She ran out for some bread to go with the pot roast and veggies she cooked all day in the slow cooker. Ceri went with her.”