“Sure did. She mentioned moving in with us for a few days until whatever had you under the weather was out of here,” he chuckles.
So, my assumptions were right, and I don’t blame Gia one bit for wanting to steer clear of sickness. But unfortunately, what I’ve got is sticking around for a while.
I ask him about his day, thank him for sending lunch and my delivery girl of choice. We make idle chitchat and the more we do, the more nervous I get. I’m going to run out of things to talk about.
I have a moment of reprieve and put the pizza in the oven. At least it’s one of those that claims it’s like delivery and not a cardboard thin one.
At this point, I should just wait until after we eat.
So maybe I take a long time cutting the pizza once it’s out of the oven.
And maybe I’m slow to eat my one slice, because it’s all I can really stomach right now anyway.
Link polishes off his fourth slice and tosses his napkin on his paper plate. I look up at him right as he leans back in his chair and crosses his arms.
“All right Ruby, tell me what’s going on.”
Gulp.
I scrunch my eyebrows in question.
“You took a mental health day. I wasn’t going to ask why, because I wanted to wait for you to tell me. But this past … oh, half-hour has been dreadful.” He looks down at his wrist, even though he doesn’t have his watch on. “You are nervous as hell and you’re being weird. I watched you cut that pizza, which should have taken you thirty seconds tops, but you dragged it out for nearly five minutes. And you have no appetite.”
He nods his head toward my half-eaten piece of pizza. I stare down at my plate, contemplating my next words.
He gets up from his chair, comes to my side and crouches down so he’s looking up at me.
“Talk to me, baby.”
The nickname causes tears to pool behind my eyes.
I look down at him, anguish clearly written on my face and his concern all over his own.
“I’m pregnant.”
His expression is unchanging for a brief moment, and then the instant it does, his eyes go round, his mouth opens slightly like he’s about to say something, but no sound comes out. He shakes his head as if to get a hold of himself. This time he manages to ask, “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” I repeat as a lone tear falls down my face.
He falls back from sitting on his haunches till he’s flat on the floor and scrubs a hand over his mouth and down his chin.
“Say something.” I sound stronger than I feel.
“I’m … I’m … wow.” He’s clearly in shock.
“Maybe something a little more than that?” I squeak out. I don’t know how I was picturing his reaction, but I’m not sure how I feel about this option.
He seems lost in thought for a moment and then he focuses on me and starts to smile. “Are you serious, right now?”
More tears drop as I nod. Does he really think I’m joking with this?
“Oh, my god, Rubes.” and he is up off the floor, hauling me out of my chair and hugging me.
“Holy shit, Rubes,” he’s saying into the crook of my neck and I start to cry in earnest because he’s happy. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tightly.
He leans back and holds my head between his hands. “A baby. A fucking baby, Ruby. No wonder you needed a day. Did you just find out?” He’s kissing me and smiling and I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around his reaction.
“Baby, why are you crying?” He laughs, wiping away the onslaught of tears streaming down my blotchy face.
“Because I’m pregnant.”
And he laughs more. “Yes, you’ve said that. I know you’re freaking out, but it’s going to be okay, I promise. We are going to rock this parenting thing,” he tells me, still wiping away the tears, and I try to interject.
“Link —”
“There’s nothing to worry about. I mean, have you met me? I’m fucking awesome at life.”
“Link,” I say louder than expected as I grab his wrists.
His smile falters at my tone. “What?”
“It might not be yours.” Oh my god, I said it.
He stares at me, unmoving.
“Did you hear ...”
“I heard you,” he snaps and drops my face, taking a step back.
“Link?” I whimper.
His grips his hair in his hands, still staring at me.
“What do you mean it might not be mine?” His voice is a near growl, and I know what he must be thinking right now.
“Oh, no.” I frantically shake my head and step toward him, but he takes another step back, halting me in my tracks. I try again. “No, I mean, I was still with Mason during my last cycle and then you in California, and so I don’t … I’m not sure …” I trail off.
“You mean you don’t know who your fucking baby daddy is?” he booms.
I flinch.
He swears under his breath and drops his head down into his hands, nearly pulling his lush locks out of his head.
“Link, I’m so, so sorry,” I cry. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to me or the baby. I’ll get a paternity test as soon as it’s born, and we’ll figure it out. But I’m completely prepared to do this on my own.” The last part comes out on a sob.
He lifts his head and the glossy look in his eyes makes me want to crawl out of my skin. He starts to shake his head repeatedly and paces.
I let him because I know he needs to process. After several minutes though, I can’t take it anymore. I wasn’t overly confident in telling him this, but I didn’t think he was going to be so mad. There is a tingling in my chest, a nagging feeling that I’m not going to like what he’s about to say.
“Link, can you talk to me? Tell me what you’re thinking?” I sniff, finally getting my tears under control.
He paces toward the door once more and stops, facing it. Then turns to me. “I …” shaking his head. “I can’t right now, I’ve got to think about this —” He stops without finishing his thought. Then he just … leaves.
I take in a deep, shaky breath and let it out. Angrily, I swipe at a lingering tear.
Well, shitty shitballs. That didn’t go well.
Chapter Twenty
Link
“I can’t right now, I’ve got to think about this—” I tell her as I turn around and open her front door. She doesn’t reply, and that’s for the best because her crying is breaking me. But I need to take a walk and I need to get out of her apartment, STAT.
I close the door with more control than I feel I have, leaving Ruby a crying mess in the living room. I’m sure, sooner or later, I’ll feel like shit about it, but right now, I leave. I need time to process the bomb Ruby just detonated.
Minutes later, I’ve somehow ended up outside her building and I can’t even remember the elevator ride down let alone walking through the lobby. But the light evening breeze finally breaks through my haze of anger as I start walking. I need to work through this logically, I need to start with the most important facts first. That Ruby is going to have a baby and I might be the father. And fuck it all to hell, it's that “might” factor that has me so pissed.
The thought of that fucking dickweed still being around in our future has me fuming. It was bad enough when she was dating him. I can’t even imagine what the douche will be like if he wants to help raise her baby.
Shit, what if he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby? With that thought, I’m even madder than a second ago because I can see him telling her she’s on her own. I am not fucking okay with that.
No. No matter whose baby it is, she is going to have help.
Fuck, I’m not ready to be a dad. I’m just now ready for a real relationship. How the hell am I going to raise a kid when I still act like a kid seventy-five percent of the time? But you know what? If I had to dive head first into parenting with anyone, it would be Ruby. No joke.
How will I even handle a relationship with
Ruby if Mason is still in the picture though?
Fuck.
Does Ruby even still want a relationship with me right now? Didn’t she give me an out? Even if it’s mine?
Does she want a relationship with me if it is Mason’s baby?
Fuckity-fuck.
The thought of Mason being back in our lives resurfaces, giving me the urge to kick the shit out of the trash can coming up on my right. I’m not a violent guy, but I have the overwhelming need to physically pour my anger into something or someone else.
Just when I thought I was done with that guy for good. First, I had to see him with Ruby and see and hear the way he treated her. Now, he might be back in her life?
We couldn’t even be in the same room together. Our disdain for each other was palpable, his dislike for me because of my career, mine because he had the one thing I wanted more than anything. How are we both going to support Ruby until we can find out who the dad is?
My gut tells me that Mason isn’t a stand-up guy. That he’s not going to want to support Ruby through this. He’s probably the type of bastard that tells the girl to “take care of it”.
My blood starts to boil with that thought.
The thought of someone telling my girl to have the baby growing inside her taken care of …No way am I going to let that happen.
I can’t let Ruby do this alone. Whether the baby is mine or not. I’ve got to be there to support her.
But how will that work? Am I just going to pretend that the baby is mine, knowing in the back of my mind it might not be? Will I be able to give up that bond I’m sure soon-to-be dads create mentally, when the baby is born, and I find out I’m not the dad?
Shit, I don’t know.
I don’t know the first thing about what soon-to-be dads feel or do. Or how to support a pregnant girlfriend.
This is all so soon. We’ve been dating for less than a month. It’s been the best few weeks, and while I won’t admit this to anyone yet, I’m standing on the cusp of being in love with Ruby. We may be newly dating, but we are not new to each other. I know her and she knows me. I’m already on the verge of love. Marriage is probably in our future, so what if we do things out of order?
I want this. I want Ruby, and I want our baby. And even if it’s not mine, I will love it like it is. As long as it is part of Ruby, the love I’d have for both of them is already there.
I stumble at my realization.
Holy smokes, Batman. I’m going to be a father.
I take in my surroundings and realize that I’m nearing a more secluded part of town, one that I probably don’t want to walk into at dusk on my own. So, I turn and head back toward Ruby.
I’m going to be a father plays on repeat in my head until a new thought pops in. I need to learn how to be a father. I’ll Google shit later, but right now, I need books.
I pull my phone from my pocket and check the time. It's not terribly late for a Monday night, Barnes & Noble should still be open for another hour or two. I pull up the Uber app on my phone and see if I can get a car in front of Ruby’s in about five minutes.
Forty-five minutes later, I leave the store with six books. I found one for soon-to-be dads. Some lady looking at books about making your own baby food told me I needed to get What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and that it’s like the number one pregnancy book in the world; most likely my own mother had a copy. So, I pick that up along with the baby food book the lady decided on for herself. It’s never too soon, right? I snag up a baby-name book because that part should be fun. Plus, a book on how to get babies to sleep. Sleep is good. And doesn’t everyone also envision everyone being sleep-deprived when they hear the term ‘new parents’? Well, I want to avoid that. I meant what I told Ruby, we are going to kick ass as parents. Let’s start now.
Well, it’ll start after one more stop. I need cinnamon rolls. I swing by the nearest bakery. You’d be surprised at the number of bakeries in Chicago that are open late. I snag up the last four rolls they have and head back to my girl.
I’m feeling all kinds of self-assured until I find myself back at Ruby’s apartment. I stop a few feet from her door, my hand poised and ready to knock. But I stall.
A brief worry flashes in the back of my mind that she might not want the same things I do. That I’m going to walk in and find that she’s ready to end what we just started. That she won’t want my support through this pregnancy and the raising of a child, mine or not.
But as quick as the thought enters my mind, I push it away. No, I’m confident enough that Ruby isn’t ready to end our relationship. She’s a strong, smart, and feisty woman. She isn’t going to let something that’s now out of our control chase her away from a relationship she wants to be in. Call me cocky, but I know that we are both on the same page when it comes to us. She wants me, and I want her, plain and simple. This is our time.
I continue with my knock.
I hear movement, but she takes her time unlocking and opening the door. She doesn’t open it all the way and leans on the open door. She’s no longer crying, but the remnants of the tears left their mark with puffy, bloodshot eyes. Pair that with the raised eyebrow and challenging look upon her face and she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
“So, you came back?” she snaps. But her focus is on the small pastry box in my hand.
“I come bearing gifts. May I enter?” I shake my other hand with the brown reusable bag the sales clerk talked me into buying for three extra dollars.
She eyes the goods — as in, the bag I’m holding, not my dick. But I’m sure if she looked to the left a smidge she’d see that I’m sure as fuck happy to see her.
She lets me in and I lean in to kiss her cheek as I pass. Consider it an intro to my apology.
Standing with her back to the now-closed door, she crosses her arms and stares at me. She’s so damn stubborn when it comes to my apologizing.
“Rubes, come sit down. It’s getting late, I’m sure you are exhausted, and you need your rest.” I pat the spot next to me as I get myself comfortable. I’m not going anywhere, so I might as well.
“Plus, I’ve brought you some cinnamon rolls. Want to share a late-night snack with me?”
She huffs and joins me.
“I’m sorry I left.” I waste no time.
She just stares at me, waiting for more.
“You’re not going to make this easy on me I see,” I chuckle.
“Why should I? You freaked out and then left instead of talking through it with me,” she counters.
“I know. And I’m sorry for that. But when you told me it might not be mine, well, that’s a blow. For any man to hear, and I needed some space to get my head back on straight.” I grab her hand and pull her a little closer to me.
“I’m here now, and I’ve worked through things. I’ll try not to do that again, but you’ve got to understand, sometimes a guy just needs a little space to clear his head. I’ll come back. Always.” And it’s the truth.
Her face softens, and I know I’ve been forgiven.
“What did you work through?” Her tone is cautious.
“Well, I’m glad you asked, but first,” I lean in and give her a kiss. Pulling away just enough to look into her eyes, I say it again, “I’m really sorry I got so mad and walked away.”
She closes the small distance with another kiss before replying, “I forgive you.”
It’s easy to get lost in Ruby, but I have to keep my wits about me for just a bit longer.
“I’ve decided that I’m all in,” I say.
“Okay …” she trails off.
“We did not plan for this to happen. It kind of stinks that it happened so soon into our relationship, but it did. We can do this, though. You’ve got me. I’m going to be here with you every step of the way. And when this baby is born, I’ll be right there with you. You’re not going to do this alone. None of it. No matter what.”
Her eyes water a little when she says, “Are you sure? This is life cha
nging, Link. You need to be sure.”
“I’m one hundred and ten percent sure, baby. I won’t change my mind.”
“And when we find out who the dad is?” she struggles to ask. I know this little fact is causing her mountains of grief.
“Doesn’t matter, Rubes,” I say, shrugging out the truth.
She doesn’t believe me though, I can tell by the look of challenge on her face.
“Look, I don’t care if that baby in your belly —”
Cutting me off, she lifts a hand to stop me. “Wait,” she says.
“What?”
“Link, you know the baby isn’t actually in my belly, right? You do know how pregnancy works?”
“Yes, I know, it’s really in one of your lady parts, right? But people always say the baby is in your belly, so …” I trail off.
She shakes her head in disbelief. “Lady parts?”
“Look, I haven’t figured out all the logistics yet. But that’s what these are for.” I turn and snag up the bag I put on the floor by my feet. Since there are so many, I just dump them out onto our laps.
She looks down at the pile in surprise.
“Books! I bought us books. I don’t know the first thing about babies, so I’m hoping everything we will need to know, we can learn from these.”
She chokes on a laugh as she picks up the book closest to her. Ahh, it's the one I picked up about potty training.
“I don’t think that’s how it works, but you know kids don’t potty train until they are older right? Like three, I think. I’m a few weeks along, Link.” She flips the book over in her hand but is looking at all the rest in the pile.
“Like I said, we are going to kick ass at this shit, Rubes.”
This woman is a rock, and I don’t know if the crying is a pregnancy symptom or a result of this being an emotional day, but her eyes fill with another round of tears.
“Baby, why are you crying again?” I ask her as I attempt to brush them from her face.
“I honestly thought I was going to do this alone. That you weren’t going to come back. Let alone, tell me that it didn’t matter whose baby it was. So, I guess, this round … this round is relief tears.” She sniffs.
Game All Night Page 15