by Raven Scott
“And then I can go back home.” Mine wasn’t a question, but Theo nodded curtly, his expression souring some. Relief eased the burning of my skin under my shirt, and I closed my eyes briefly. “Good.”
“How did you and this chick meet, anyway?” The car peeled off the curb, and I cracked open my eyes as Theo, thankfully, kept his on the road. “You said you got her clean four years ago.”
“We met at a women’s shelter when we were twenty. After a couple months, we decided to move from Los Angeles. I told her I wouldn’t unless she kicked her heroin habit, so she did.” That time had been so rough. The cops had been cracking down on homeless people back then, and getting a spot at the shelter was nearly impossible. Sylvie and I started squatting, but she got picked up by the police for panhandling and it’d freaked us out. “We moved here about a little more than three years ago. I told Sylvie that if she did drugs again, I’d cut her out without hesitation. She was really upset when I threw her shit out the window and she couldn’t get to it fast enough.”
“Why were you homeless?” Irritation bubbled up against my ribs like hot tar, and I sunk into my seat as Theo took a turn hard. The tires squealed in protest, but he didn’t slow down, and I gripped the door handle tightly as my insides sloshed from the force.
“U-uh . . . my parents died when I was thirteen and I went into foster care. Pretty self-explanatory.” It seemed like for every question I answered, Theo had another one, and a sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. My plan was backfiring on me, but I couldn’t back out of it now. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“There’s the house.” My gaze swung to the windshield, but this house looked like all the others— rundown and forgotten by the town. This city had a small but noticeable number of houses that were just ignored. I’d always had a feeling that someone had swooped them up for this exact purpose. A lot of drugs came into this town on its way west, but we were far enough away from the ocean not to have a port close enough to be suspicious.
Blinking hard, I pursed my lips thinly as Theo pulled up on the curb, and he swore viciously when he bumped up onto the crackled sidewalk. The car jostled dangerously, and I tightened my grip on the door handle as he worked on readjusting. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him struggle to turn the wheel with his bad hand as he twisted to see where he was going. A nasty kind of frustration engulfed his features, and his jaw ticked as the muscles in his neck strained.
My heart squeezed, and I stuffed my fists between my legs and glared at my lap as I silently cursed myself.
“Shit.” The whole car jolted hard as the wheel on the pavement slid off onto the asphalt, and Theo’s fiery breath was so hot it reached my shoulder. He turned the car off, and I peeked up through my lashes while he jerked the key from the ignition. “Get out.”
I didn’t hesitate to unbuckle, and I popped open the door and tried my damnedest to shove down this sensation tingling against my ribs. Shutting the passenger side door gingerly, I stepped onto the sidewalk to glance at the rear wheel and it’s absolutely messed up rim. There was a huge dent in the spokes where the corner of the sidewalk smashed into the metal, and I winced just looking at it.
That’s just sad.
Theo’s eyes didn’t so much as flicker to the damage he’d caused as he grabbed my forearm with his good hand. Stomping up the walkway, the muscles in his back rippled powerfully underneath his shirt, and I frowned under furrowed brows. This time, he didn’t pull any punches as he shoved the door open with his shoulder like he’d done it a million times.
He didn’t look at me, and a tiny part of me wondered if he was embarrassed about his parking.
But then the stench hit me, and I covered my mouth with my free hand as Theo released my arm to pull out his phone. When he tapped on the flashlight, he illuminated wasted bodies and passed out drug addicts on dirty, disgusting mattresses or just lying on the floor. I couldn’t even tell who was a guy or girl— they all looked the same— and I grabbed Theo’s ruined hand when he tried to step away.
He looked back, and flames licked up my face to my ears as my fingers curled around smooth scar tissue. For a quick second, our eyes met, and I sucked in a sharp breath when his thumb and pointer finger hooked around my hand. Trying not to breathe, the ammonia in the air stinging my eyes, I blinked hard, and he frowned before sort of nudging me back out the door.
“Here.” Sliding his phone into his pocket, Theo started taking off his t-shirt, and a wife-beater clung like a second skin to his toned torso. He managed a lot easier than with his parking job, and he shoved the fabric into my face with a grunt. “Tie it around your head.”
“Like this?” Covering my whole face, I took a fraction of a moment to inhale deeply, and my eyelids fluttered as the heady, musky smell of him flooded my lungs. Snatching the shirt, Theo was smirking when my eyes focused on him, and the sparkle in his dark gaze tightened my chest.
Sidestepping me swiftly, he folded the shirt in half and wrapped it over my nose and mouth. Carefully tying the short sleeves over my hair, he pressed his palm to the small of my back, dangerously close to my ass.
“Ladies first.” I tensed when Theo grabbed my ass and squeezed, and his growl rolled down my spine. That seemed like such a strange thing to say, and I tilted my head to glance back only to find him staring at my ass. “I wish my fingers hadn’t been blown off so I could really appreciate this ass.”
9
Illya
We found Sylvie on the second floor, and I tried not to touch anything as I crouched down to get a really good look at her face just to be sure. Theo flashed the light from his phone right at her, but she was totally knocked out. Her gaunt features after just a few days, the red rings around her eyes— the crackling of her lips . . . Sylvie was probably jacked up more than ever, and guilt stabbed my chest even as I jerked my head in a nod.
“That’s her, for sure. One hundred percent.” Standing up, I nodded again, and Theo passed me his phone before bending to hoist her over his shoulder. The shirt around my face gave me some protection from the stench, but he grimaced as he held her by the backs of her legs. “Let’s get the Hell out of here.”
“Yeah.” The floor creaked under Theo’s weight, and I left the room first to illuminate all the trash on the floor. I was positive a few dead animals were lying around, and I could hear mice digging through the garbage piled in the corners of the place. Taking the stairs very carefully, so I didn’t have to touch the railing, I paused to glance back at Theo cautiously.
Seconds ticked by like hours before we were out of that wretched house, and I pulled down the shirt to take a huge, blustering breath of fresh air. Theo walked briskly past me to his car, and I flipped his phone awkwardly in my palms while he opened the back seat door and shoved Sylvie in none-too-gently.
“I’ll drive you back. Come here.” Rounding the back of the car, Theo popped the trunk, and apprehension gripped me in a vice as I shuffled forward on lead feet. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but him pulling out a bunch of disinfectant wipes wasn’t it at all. Exhaling heavily, I glanced over my shoulder at the house, and a shiver of disgust rattled my spine. “Here.”
Theo’s call rose the hairs on the back of my neck, and I tensed when he snatched my wrist to start wiping my hands. I didn’t dare breathe, my heart stopped beating, and I watched through wide eyes as he held the wipe around his lonely pointer finger with his thumb. Wow . . . wow . . . what the fuck . . . what the fuck! The fuck is he doing!
I did not fucking sign up for this weird, creeper shit! He’s washing my fucking hands!
“I can d— ” My declaration died on my tongue at the downright ugly, intense glare that Theo shot me, and I ducked my head. He wiped the bottom of my palm and between my fingers, and anxiety curdled my blood. This . . . this . . . this was fucking weird!
“Close your eyes.” Prickles rippled through my cheek at his gruff demand, but I didn’t resist, and goosebumps swept over my shoulders and down
my arms and chest. He wiped my face where his shirt hadn’t covered, and I trembled as apprehension gorged my muscles. “You never know what you might need until you need it and don’t have it.”
“This is really weird, okay.”
“I seriously don’t give a fuck what you think, Illya.” Theo’s sharp snarl echoed on the otherwise quiet street, and I flinched back involuntarily. Squeezing my eyes shut, a whimper clogged my throat, but nothing happened for the longest moment until he growled deep in his chest. “That’s what I thought. You’re not gonna do shit.”
Grabbing my face, Theo squeezed threateningly, and I clenched my jaw hard as he tilted my head back to wipe my neck. The fine hairs on my face stood up, and my goosebumps swelled as he wiped down my arms.
“Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass, huh?” I refused to open my mouth anymore, and Theo guffawed softly, the warmth of his breath rolling down my nose. “Get in the car.”
Shaking my head, I scrunched up my face in preparation, but Theo only stiffened. The air became deathly still, and I held my breath as apprehension gripped my spine in a vice. I couldn’t get a handle on what Theo was trying to do, and his palm slid down to wrap around my throat. My pulse ran wild under his fingertips, and my lungs cried out for air even though he wasn’t putting any pressure on my airway.
“Get the fuck in the car, Illya.”
“J-just leave me alone . . . please.” I made the mistake of opened my eyes, and Theo’s narrowed as hurt flashed across his face like lightning. My mind ran a mile a minute, and I tensed when he released my throat, his fingernails scraping my skin. “Please . . .you got Sylvie. You don’t need me anymore.”
“Fine, walk back.” Spittle splattered my face from the viciousness of his words, and I shivered from the breeze of Theo storming past me. He slammed his car door shut and peeled off, the wheels screeching shrilly to ring in my ears. I couldn’t make myself move, but when he turned off the street, I took a shuddering, shallow breath. My dry lips stuck together, and I reached to hold my throat where the imprint of his fingers still burned my skin.
“Holy shit.” Covering my mouth, I gulped down the dense lump that had formed, and my mind circled around and around as confusion tightened my chest. Turning on my heel, the world spun slowly, and I rubbed my neck and rolled my head. Blinking hard, the image of Theo’s face when I asked him to leave me alone flashed behind my lids vividly.
Was he really that upset about me wanting him to go away? Theo didn’t have a good poker face, but that . . . what did he have to be hurt about? I was the one he practically held hostage, for Christ’s sake! He showed up at my apartment, and I couldn’t say ‘no’ and risk getting on his bad side!
And, now, I was all the way across town with no bike and no way home, and I had work in two and a half hours.
“Ugh . . . ” I scuffed the concrete with my heel and ducked my head to glare at the sidewalk. Why couldn’t I have toughed it out and gotten in the stupid car?
Because Theo is friggen weird, and if I got in the car, who knows what might’ve happened. He would’ve gotten the wrong message or something. I don’t want to be around him. He has what he wants. There’s no reason for us to ever see each other again.
Even as the thoughts whirred in my head, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad. Theo didn’t mean to be a little creepy, and I was positive that he didn’t see himself washing my hands and face as anything other than he intended.
But, of course, what was that old saying . . . the road to Hell is paved with good intentions? If he thought he was doing me a favor, I wasn’t obligated to oblige him just because he was meaning to be nice. He creeped me out. That should be the end of it.
Finito. Done. Goodbye.
“So, why do I feel like I did the wrong thing, not him?” My grumble was loud on the otherwise deserted street, and I rolled my bottom lip between my teeth. I dealt with real creeps all the time, guys from the club that would follow me around and try to touch me when there were signs everywhere. Guys that tried to get me to blow them in the private booths. Guys that looked at me like it’d be fun to beat me up and rape me and then brag about it.
Theo didn’t seem like any of those guys. He just was really awkward and rough. There was a huge difference between being truly creepy and just not knowing the nuances of something. He’d just dragged me in and out of drug dens looking for Sylvie, and he realized how disgusting it was for me.
“Rationalizing creepy behavior is bad, and I’m going to Hell.” Clenching my hand, my intended fist only sent surprise rattling up my arm, and I tore my eyes off the pavement to pause. Theo’s phone sat in my hand, big, with a bulky case and a smooth, uncracked screen, and I pursed my lips thinly. Every time I thought he’d leave me alone, he had a reason to come back at me. “Maybe he’ll just get a new one and I can pawn this one.”
10
Illya
“Hey, Marcella, can you— ” Marcella nodded before I could even pop the question, and I held my arms above my head after she took the end of the bandage. “Thanks.”
“No problemo, chica.” She very carefully taped the wrap against my side, and I smiled when she pulled up my bodysuit down my torso. “I think I might’ve been wrong— you buy more bandages than hair dye, I bet. I like this green, though. It matches your contacts real nice.”
“Thanks. Um . . . yeah, I mean, it’d suck if someone tried to grab my chest since, you know, I don’t really have one.” My cheek twitched as flames licked up my neck, and Marcella smiled faintly as she held the fabric taut around my hips. Fastening the snap between my legs, I tugged and picked at the bodysuit as I examined myself in the mirror. By far, Marcella was the one at work that I was closest to, and she leaned on the small table covered in makeup and glitter vials as I fiddled with my hair. “Do you really think it looks good?”
I’d dyed my hair temporarily with green, but used two different shades, and Marcella smiled broadly with a nod out of the corner of my eye. My long, curly locks were going to need to get lobbed off soon. It was the price I paid for constantly dying it, no matter how much assurance was on the box. I’d managed to somehow keep most of my hair healthy, but all that damage added up eventually. Against the pale pink of my suit, my hair was dark, almost mossy, and I pulled apart my lids to adjust my contacts.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your real hair— that’s not a bad thing. I get why you obscure how you look, working in a place like this.” Vivid, brown eyes met mine in my reflection, and I hummed softly in acknowledgment as Marcella sighed. “So, did you find a new roommate, yet? Did you ever find out what happened to your old one?”
“Uh . . . no. She just disappeared. I’m not sure where she went, but, I mean, life moves on. I can’t hope she’ll come back because she probably won’t, and I got bills and stuff that aren’t going to wait for her.” Keeping as close to the truth as possible was the best way to lie, and I glanced over at Marcella to arch a brow. “Why do you ask?”
“I just want to make sure you’re okay, Illya. I know you two had been together a while in Los Angeles, right. It must suck that she went back to using.” She smiled sad and sympathetic, and I clenched my jaw as residual betrayal and anger bubbled up in my chest. “Are you looking for a new roommate, or were you just working up the nerve to ask me if you could couch surf?”
“Uh . . . the second one?” Fire engulfed my face, and Marcella giggled a little with a slight nod. “Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m going to do, yet. I didn’t want to ask because I know it’s not your house, but I don’t know how long I can pay everything myself.”
“Oh, please, my parents are never home. They’re in, like, Asia right now or something having the time of their life.” There was always that one person who did this because it was fun, not out of necessity. Marcella’s parents weren’t loaded, but they traveled for months at a time. All Marcella had to do was pay for whatever streaming and internet services she wanted because her parents paid the electricity and water.
“Still, it’d be kinda weird to come home and discover that some random chick has been living in your house without you knowing.” Waving her off, I forced a smile onto my face as Marcella arched a brow, and I bent to adjust my heels. “It’s fine. If I need to find a place for a few days, we can have, like, a sleepover, but . . . ”
“Oh, I’m down for that.” Truth be told, I didn’t want to live with Marcella because I didn’t want to get comfortable with that pipe dream. Eventually, I’d work my way up, go to school for something, and make it myself, but, right now, I was in the gutter, essentially.
I’d been under these metaphorical grates so long that I was comfortable, and that was the real tragedy, here.
“Illya!” Roge’s call through the back drew both our attentions, and I straightened as he shuffled over. In my heels, he was a good few inches shorter than me, and he scanned me from bottom to top before nodding. “You’re being requested in the private suite. Number six.”
“Okay. It better not be that old creep that never tips, though.” Roge only shrugged. It wasn’t as if it was his time that was being wasted, and I gave Marcella a little wave as she sat down in front of the mirror. “I’ll talk to you later, Marcella.”
“Yeah, later.” Leaving the back with Roge on my heels, I took a breath before heading out onto the floor. Bad rap music instantly flooded my ears, and I shook my head a little as the strobe lights flashed brightly. Low lights illuminated the catwalk, and girls danced on poles for guys with that couldn’t see a chick half-naked otherwise.
Thank God I don’t do the catwalk. When I started working here, Roge wanted me on the walk until I showed him the burn marks on my chest. No one would find that shit attractive, and I did a lot of private shows, VIP, and just walking around to sit on guys laps and listen to their shitty day. It worked for both of us, and I didn’t have to take off any clothes, for the most part.