by Raven Scott
But I was not making good tips by any means right now. I couldn’t do anything about it, either. Roge didn’t pay us or give out small loans or I-O-Us. If there was a lull, we had to suck it up and deal.
“Open the God damn door, Illya.” Growling through the slight gap between the door and the frame, Theo cleared his throat roughly, expectantly. I didn’t move, didn’t dare take a breath, and he snorted like a bull waiting to be let out of the stall and wreak havoc. “Open the door, Illya.”
“N-no . . . I’m not coming out.” Gulping harshly, I exhaled a shuddering breath, and I could hear Theo pacing just beyond the door. “Go away. J-just go away.”
“Like fuck!” My heart made a bid to burst from my chest when Theo banged on the door— higher, this time, far above my head. Wincing as he panted through the crack, I lowered my hands to keep my rib from splitting open. “Why did you just tell me you were strapped for cash? I would’ve helped you out, Illya.”
“Why would you?” Bitterness dribbled from my tongue, and an ugly, black blotch slathered along my ribs. “This is my life, Theo. You can’t just walk up and bang on it and it’ll start working right.”
“It works for everything else.” Grinding the reply through his teeth, Theo exhaled a muffled, heavy breath through the crack in the door, and I flopped my head back to rub my clammy palms on my jeans. “Just . . . open the door. We’ll get you real— human— food, Illya.”
Despite my better judgment, the block I’d made of my own body to keep the barrier closed crumpled, and I pulled my knees to my chin. The tender skin on my sides pulled and burned, and my eyelids fluttered closed briefly as I gulped down the saliva pooling under my tongue. Slowly standing up, I licked my lips as nerves tingled to the bridge of my nose.
Theo leaned on the frame when I popped open the barrier just an inch, and he glared hotly at me as his jaw worked. Reaching to wipe my mouth, I frowned into the deafening silence before he forced his mouth open with a slight, faint pop.
“Do you think I’d hang it over you or something?” I shook my head mutely, and Theo sighed harshly through flared nostrils to bristle the fine hairs on my face. “Why would you resort to eating cat food instead of asking me for help?”
“Cat food is cheap, and, to be honest, I’ve been eating it so long that it’s pretty good, actually. I don’t do it a lot, but when I’m in a pinch.” He covered his mouth at my confession, rocking back on his heels to brandish his tense shoulders. The thick ropes of muscle in his arm rippled with power, and my heart throbbed at the tortured glint in his eye.
“Why are you worried about money?”
“I have to pay for everything by myself. The third is coming up, and Sylvie’s not exactly gonna pay her half this month.” The truth was that I’d been so caught in that drama, and with Theo, that I’d lost track of the days. I’d missed three days of work, and I was going to be short on rent by a good two hundred dollars. Thankfully, my electric bill was barely seventy-five dollars, and I didn’t have anything else, really, but that minimalism didn’t help my astronomical rent. “My rent is twelve hundred dollars for this place, and I don’t have it. That’s why I’m going to work early, too.”
“You pay twelve hundred dollars to live in this shitstain? What the fuck, Illya?” Theo’s anger peaked again, and I pursed my lips thinly as he squeezed his eyes shut and took a stabilizing breath. Physical pain flickered across his face, and he cleared his throat roughly before rolling his shoulders hard. “Get ready for work. I’ll order you something. For fuck’s sake. And use mouthwash.”
21
Illya
Hovering over Theo’s lap, I jiggled my ass as he sat back on braced arms, and my back bristled under my clothes from the intensity of his stare. The light skirt attached to my leotard ticked my upper thighs, and I glanced back just as he reached his right hand out. A callous, meaty palm slid heavily up my back, following my spine, and I shivered deliciously from the faint friction.
“I’m pretty sure this ass is worth more than a pizza, Illya.” He wasn’t complaining, though, and I hummed softly in acknowledgment. “Have you thought about moving?”
“Not yet.” Things had calmed down, at least, and Theo grunted at my reply before I plopped in his lap to grind against the bulge in his jeans. “What about you and Mateo?”
“He’s avoiding me because I punched him in the face. I’d say it’s going pretty alright. He won’t leave his room— which is stupid, because I broke the door when I busted it down.” A tickle of amusement swept through me, and I smiled a little at the image of a grown-ass man acting like that. He has it bad. Rich kids were the worst. Of course, there were exceptions to that rule, but on a whole . . . “I’m supposed to watch him, make sure he doesn’t die, and he treats me like I’m at his beck and call just because he pays me an obscene amount of money. Life doesn’t work like that. If Mateo wasn’t shoved into the corner, he’d probably create the largest dumpster fire ever.”
“Have you ever thought of quitting? Is it really worth it?” Straightening against my back, Theo inhaled deeply against my shoulder, and goosebumps pocked down my arm. “All you do is complain about him.”
“Nah, I get paid a lot, as I’ve said.” Chapped lips brushed the base of my neck, and I gasped as Theo pushed my dyed, pink hair out of the way. His voice roughened, tone deepening, and his left hand worked under me to squeeze my ass cheek. “I get my own car, and I get to live in a nice place, expense-free. The benefits outweigh the fact that, occasionally, I gotta break his nose.”
Humming a crackled sound as my eyelids fluttered closed, I enjoyed the hardness and heat against my back, and Theo grazed his teeth against my neck. Beneath my leotard and the thick bandages covering my torso, my skin twitched and pulled taut with desire, and I flopped my head back to groan faintly. His bulge pressed insistently against my core, and he swiped his fingers up my crotch to circle my clit outside of my stockings.
Theo hadn’t seen me naked yet— hadn’t seen the huge, ugly, purple mark that was slowly turning a sickly green on my side. My bruise didn’t hurt anymore, or I’d just gotten used to it, and my breath caught when he pulled his hand out from under me to creep his fingers over my thigh.
But his palm didn’t glide south, and I tensed when Theo grabbed my breast and squeezed with a low growl rolling down my spine. Tears instantly sprang to my eyes before I’d even registered the pain, the fiery tug, and I sucked in a whistle of a breath through my teeth. My elbow sailed into his face, but the shock rendered his jolt weak against my hips. His palm felt from my breast, and I jumped up to pant viciously as pin needles stabbed my front in waves from top to bottom.
“What the fu— ” Theo’s nasty snarl caught when he locked eyes on my face, but I couldn’t see him beyond the tears that bubbled up to the brim of my lids. My pants turned to hyperventilations as fire engulfed my lungs, and my heart strained as it beat too hard and fast. Grinding my teeth until they threatened to crack, my mouth dried, and my furious breaths became rasps. “Illya . . . ”
“Don’t.” Croaking hoarsely, I blinked hard, and tears boiled on my heated face as pain sent spasms rippling down my chest, which only intensified the pain. “Don’t . . . don’t . . . ”
Turning around sluggishly, I shuffled over to the wall to brace both my palms, and I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t breathe deeply, couldn’t attempt to get any control over myself— I just had to endure until it died down. A mangled palm touched my back, and I ducked my head to relieve some of the burning at my sternum.
“I guess I’ll never touch your titties again.” Even beyond the blood drumming in my ears, Theo’s grumble sounded gruff and bitter, and I exhaled a fiery breath through my nose. “Shit, Illya.”
“It’s okay. It-it’s fine. J-just . . . just a m-minute.” I wasn’t mad— I was in too much pain to be mad. Besides, Theo had every right to want to touch my chest, and it was really my fault for not saying something first. After all, it wasn’t his fault for not knowing somethin
g I never told him. Scrunching up my face, I crouched down to force the air from my lungs when it caught behind the dense lump in my throat.
“Do you need the hospital?”
“No.” Cracking my eyes open, they wandered dazedly to the right, and Theo’s face dripped in concern. “I . . . I shouldn’t have skipped PT.”
“You can’t use my own joke against me, Illya.” A pained smirk stretched my lips, and Theo sighed heavily as he rubbed my back gently. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Managing a slightly heavier breath than previously, I reached to tangle my fist in Theo’s t-shirt, and he covered it with his good hand. “I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you asking about it.”
My voice shook, but I didn’t stutter, and I craned my neck in an effort to dislodge the ball in my throat. Theo’s face masked in graveness, and he squeezed my hand as I slowly but surely unknotted my muscles. Like I suspected with his arm, this happened a lot. Even the slightest breeze tipped me off, which is why I wore the bandages. They covered my scars and reduced friction, and unexpected touches couldn’t happen anymore.
“I wouldn’t ask about it.” His right hand flexed against my back knowingly, and I leaned over into his chest to wipe the sweat from my forehead on his shirt. “At least yours is easier to hide. I get a lot of looks because of my face and hand.”
“I think it’s handsome.” The truth was that I didn’t notice Theo’s scar all that much— it wasn’t like it ripped down the front of his face or anything. The line was just a jagged, dark line. “The pizza’s not even here yet.”
A particularly violent spasm ripped up my spine, and I hissed even as Theo wrapped his arm around my back firmly. Wincing as pain flared across my chest, I tightened my grip in his shirt, and the neck seam creaked in protest overly loud in my ears.
“You got me real good, by the way.” My brows furrowed in confusion, and I glanced up as Theo rubbed his jaw and cheek with his bad hand. “Who taught you to elbow someone in the face like that? You got me right in the cheekbone.”
“Ooh, my mom did.” Appreciation swirled in his eyes, and I took a rattling breath as I leaned my head against his chest. My mind puttered along leisurely, and Theo sat back on the floor to gingerly wrap his legs around me. “When I was eight, she taught me to defend myself. She was definitely one of those people that saw the glass half empty.”
“My mom is the kind of woman that’d buy takeout and pass it off as her own so she can impress people at Thanksgiving.” His hand swept up into my hair as he spoke, and Theo kneaded my scalp despite the dye that’d rub off on his skin. “When I decided to go into the military, she threw a party. When I got deployed for the first time, she wasn’t nearly as excited.”
“Was it scary?” Sniffing hard, I closed my eyes and wiped my face on his shirt as he chuckled a little cynically.
“I almost shit myself when they announced we were landing. Those transport planes aren’t the most smooth things to ride through the sky at two hundred miles per hour. I didn’t used to be like this when I was nineteen and twenty years old. I was different back then. I always thought that I’d end up like one of those guys in the USAA commercials with a small business and a perfect family and all that shit.” My gaze flickered up at the sourness that dragged down Theo’s lips, and he pressed his chin against my crown with a faint grunt. “I mean, there’s a reason why it’s ‘young and stupid’.”
“When I was little, I wanted to be a cop.” My mom had been a cop, and the incident that led to her and my father’s deaths had been investigated into the ground and ten feet more. Everyone suspected foul play, but it’d simply been faulty wiring in the house they rented. “After they died, my aunt took me in and sued the property manager for everything she owned, and when she spent it all, she kicked me out. I went into foster care for about seven hours, which was just sitting at the police station getting sad looks by everyone. I ran away.”
“That’s some shit, Illya.” I didn’t really reply, content to just soak up Theo’s warmth until a light knock sounded at the door.
22
Theo
“We’re going out.” Under my headphones, I barely made out Mateo’s garbled grumbled, and I glanced up from my phone as he stood up. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes and stress lines around his mouth, and my lip twitched faintly. Working my headset off one ear, Sylvie’s bloodcurdling shrieking echoed instead of sweet, sweet silence, and I leaned back to cross my knees.
“If you leave this house, Mateo, I’ll kill her.” My matter-of-fact declaration made Mateo pause, and he scowled darkly at me. Sylvie had been screaming non-stop for, like, seven hours, now, but I had noise-cancelling headphones. A wondrous investment. “Step one foot outside, and I’ll blow her brains out. You wanted this, didn’t you? So deal with it.”
Truth be told, I didn’t want to kill Sylvie simply because Mateo was a dumb piece of shit. I was sure there were other reasons she deserved all this crap, but I didn’t know about any of that. Illya refused to talk about Sylvie, and I knew the pain and betrayal was still very fresh. Certainly, she didn’t do anything to warrant dying— otherwise, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Plus, I would have to tell Illya, and that could go a few different ways. There was a lot of bitterness.
And why wouldn’t it be? They’d been through a lot together, and Sylvie had ruined it for an insanely stupid reason.
“So you’re allowed to leave, and I’m not?” Mateo sounded so infantile in that moment that I snorted a laugh, and his slightly swollen nostrils flared in anger. Standing up leisurely, I blocked out Sylvie’s screaming as I loomed over him, but I knew he couldn’t do the same. Either she’d drive him nuts, or he’d storm out, not thinking I’d do anything about it.
“You want her around, Mateo. This is only the beginning, too. Either get rid of her, or suck it up.” Jabbing him in the chest to prove my point, I glared at him from under furrowed brows. “You don’t have the option to run away. Imagine what’ll happen if that baby is born addicted to heroin? Imagine how much it’ll scream, and no one will take care of it but you. Do you want me to get you one of those practice dolls?”
I couldn’t help adding the jibe, and Mateo tensed as fire flickered in his eyes. The blatant, candid truth was that parenthood wasn’t understood from the outside. He seriously thought Sylvie would get better, would be the perfect mom, and he’d have the perfect family. But he was wrong.
“I’m going out.” Arching a brow quizzically at that, I rocked back on my heels and nodded flippantly. If Mateo left, I’d keep my word, and then I’d go hang out with Illya because, unfortunately, her tips hadn’t picked up since Wednesday. Friday and Saturday were her best days, but I wasn’t sure that she was doing too well on that front.
Mateo hadn’t moved from his spot, though, and I rolled my eyes as disgust soured my tongue. Sucking my teeth, I dropped back down into the recliner, but even then, he still seemed small and meek. He’d never suffered any way he didn’t create, and he just stood there, shooting daggers at me with his eyes.
“Sit down and shut up, Mateo. You’re not gonna do shit, and you know it.” Pulling my headphones over my head, I turned my attention back to my phone. The stupid matching game kept me occupied this long, there was no reason it shouldn’t continue. As soon as I looked at the screen, though, my mind started to wander, and Mateo sat on the sofa to hold his head in his hands between his knees.
I’d be laughing my ass off if this wasn’t damn inconvenient.
There were so many other places I’d rather be on a Friday night, like Illya’s club, watching her shake her ass. At the very least, she wouldn’t be able to deny any tips I gave her. I still couldn’t get that notion out of my head. She really ate cat food from a can rather than buy a carrot or something.
Obviously, Illya had done it for a long time and gotten used to it, but . . .
A shiver lodged between my shoulders at the idea of being so damn desperate that Illya ate cat food like it was a
bag of chips. She only nibbled at the pizza I’d ordered and said something about saving it, but I refused to bring her to work until she ate at least two slices. That kind of shit, I couldn’t stand it.
Anything I tried to do for her usually backfired, though. I had to be careful about how I brought up things so she didn’t shoot me down because of cost.
Anything that goes into that can doesn’t come out. Those were her exact words when she pulled out this huge coffee can from under her cot. The top barely fit on because of all the neatly folded bills, but she only put in, never taking out. The role she’d demanded from me had been in there, too, so I couldn’t feel bad about it.
Illya would be the death of me. Of that, I had no doubt at all.
“The Hell is with all the screaming?” The hairs on the back of my neck stood up at the muffled tone, and I tore my gaze away from my phone. Carlyle stood in the entryway, a grumpy, exaggerated expression on his face, and I gestured wordlessly to Mateo as he popped up from the sofa. Carlyle gazed at me steadily, but I kept my expression blank as I turned back to my phone. “You know, I could’ve killed you before you even noticed me, Theo.”
“Go ahead. I fucking want to kill me right now, too.” Out of the corner of my eye, he smirked maliciously, if not grimly, at my grumble. “God damn.”
“What are you doing here, Carlyle? Why didn’t you t— ”
“Why would I warn you and give you time to cover up whatever fuck up you managed this time, Mateo.” Carlyle’s harsh snap whipped over my head, and Mateo tensed as his big brother slammed the door shut. The screaming continued, almost in the background of my mind, like it was on the television or something. “I told you to get rid of that thing, and here you are— disobeying me yet again.”