by Raven Scott
“To make Illya feel good.” Glancing over my shoulder, I reached to rub my head and neck as Jack smiled faintly out of my peripheral. I really didn’t have anything to say to him, but I knew Illya would appreciate the effort. She seemed different in this atmosphere.
But it wasn’t going to last. She came here for closure before her life took an irreversible sharp left. That was all.
“I consider myself lucky to get dropped like that.” Grinning at that, I turned my attention back to Jack, and he tinged red up to his ears. “I’m glad we’re not on different teams.”
“You should be.” The ominous threat in my tone made me chuckle, and I shook my head a little at how fundamentally Jack understood the differences in our abilities. “I’d kill you before you even realized you were gonna die.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” The conversation stalled, and I didn’t try to revive it before heading back to Illya. The sun shone brightly off her hair and illuminated her whole face, and I sat back down behind her. I should probably savor the atmosphere, too.
It didn’t escape me that everything was going a little too well lately. Just like Illya, I’d been feeling apprehensive about her starting work, but like fuck I was gonna say that to her.
Today had been such shit. I woke up to an argument, got dragged up the coast, and now I was at a party full of people I didn’t know. If that wasn’t bad enough, I felt like this whole trip was a waste in some ways. I was honestly hoping that Carlyle would call me back so I had an excuse to go home.
Just as the disgruntled thought slithered through my mind, my phone began to vibrate, and I fished the thing out of my pocket. Speak of the devil.
“What?” Leaning back, I held the speaker to my ear, and Carlyle’s frown radiated against my cheek before he’d even said anything.
“Get back. I need Illya.” Reaching to tap on her shoulder, I pointed shamelessly at her uncle, and Illya frowned under tightly knit brows. “And don’t take forever. Something just came in, she’ll be up all night.”
“Yeah.” Hanging up before I muttered the confirmation, Carlyle left the line dead, and my cheek twitched in irritation as I stood up again. Illya followed suit, and I’d guess she heard that last part as she sauntered off towards her uncle. Rubbing my face in agitation, I heaved a massive sigh. “The calm before the storm.”
We’d been here about an hour— an hour too long, in my opinion— and I hoped Illya got the answers or enlightenment she was searching for. I sure as she wasn’t going to jump through hoops to come back, and I watched her hug her uncle with a smile cresting her cheeks.
“What did Carlyle want?” Only posing her question once we were out in the street, Illya cast me a questioning glance as I pulled my keys out of my pocket. “Do you want me to drive?”
“You don’t have a license yet.” Even as I grumbled, an ache shot up my right arm, and I tossed her my keys. She caught them easily, nodding curtly, and I rounded the back of the car before speaking up again. “Don’t get us pulled over. I don’t know what Carlyle wants, but it involves you, so it must be something involving whatever internal drama he mentioned at the club.”
“That seemed like a long time ago.” A strange sensation filled me as I climbed into the passenger seat of my own car, and Illya stuck the keys into the ignition before adjusting the seat. “When I was a teenager, me and my friends used to go on joyrides and stuff. It’s fine. I won’t get caught.”
“Don’t kill me, okay, that’s all I’m asking.” I sunk in the seat a little as she adjusted the mirror, and the car roared to life.
And I saw my fucking shit life flash before my eyes when she grinned at me from over the center console.
36
Illya
“Theo! Theo, come on, it wasn’t that bad!” Grabbing his hand to stop him storming into the complex, I couldn’t help but frown at how utterly freaked out Theo was even as he shot me a nasty glance over his broad shoulder. “You didn’t die. That’s all you asked, remember?”
“You are never driving again!” Jerking his hand from mine, he practically spit in my face, and I tensed when his eyelid twitched as it came close to mine, so close I could count his lashes. “Don’t you fucking pull that shit around on me. You shortened a four-hour drive to one and a half!”
“W-well, yeah. Carlyle said not to take forever, and I knew driving hurts your arm.” Sputtering a little in the full face of Theo’s rage, I tried to take a step back, but he followed, and I gasped when he grabbed my biceps. His short, sharp nails dug into my skin, and his eyes flashed as they narrowed into slits. “That hurts.”
“It’s a fucking miracle we made it back. Never ever again!” Hissing at me, Theo’s spittle splattered on my chin, and my heart stuttered when he shook me. “You understand!”
“I . . . I understand.” Releasing me with a slight shove to jerk the door open, Theo left me in the parking lot, and I exhaled a shaky, thin breath. Glancing down at my arm, the deep crescents of his fingernails were prominent, a white half-moon in a sea of reddening flesh. My gaze followed a white line on the pavement, up the brick wall, and the courtyard that served as a parking lot enclosed by it. A bridge connected two buildings, technically, one for living and one for working.
“Oh.” Hanging my head as I reached to cup my biceps, I frowned at the asphalt, and my face grew hot as my skin stung where Theo’d grabbed me. “It’s not like he told me to slow down.”
That was just an excuse, and not a very good one. Maybe, driving one hundred ten wasn’t the best idea, but I wanted to get back as fast as possible. Carlyle didn’t sound happy from what snippets I’d caught, and . . .
“Everything alright out here?” Slithering out the door like a snake, Carlyle frowned down at me, and I huffed as I crouched down on the balls of my feet. “I take it all’s not paradise on the island, huh?”
“He doesn’t like how fast I drove.” When I moved my lips, I could taste him, and Carlyle hummed softly in acknowledgment. An ugly blotch spread across my chest, and I sat back on the hot concrete with a grunt. “What’s going on that you wanted us back?”
“I wanted you back, Illya. Theo’s off today, all day. Anyway, we’ve got some shit to talk about. I guess out here’s not a bad place. It’s probably not bugged, at least.” Leaning against the wall to slide down, Carlyle pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his dress pants, and I took the one he offered me. He sparked up, wordlessly passing me the lighter, and I took a huge drag trying to fill the gaping hole that’d opened up inside me. “So, someone is two-timing me, and your job as of right now is to find out who.”
“That’s some useful information, there, Carlyle.” Running my hands through my hair, I suddenly wished I’d spent a little more time with Carlyle instead of being lazy as all Hell. “How many languages do you speak?”
“English, Spanish, and German. I can understand Mandarin enough to get the gist of a conversation, but I always have a translator just in case.” I ran my hand through my hair, my lips clamping down on the cigarette butt, and the toxic fumes filled my lungs but didn’t leak out. “There’s no bugs anywhere. My tech experts are good. I cycle out my aides, so no one stays as long as this has been going on.”
“Why would you assume it’s someone here and not whoever you’re doing business with? You’ve already considered it, right?” Carlyle nodded, and I flopped my head back to exhale loud and heavy. My mind whirred slowly, dragged down by images of Theo when I blinked, and I scrunched up my nose in distaste. “How often do you swap out your cleaning ladies? The same chick has come by my place twice a week since I got here.”
“I’ve never swapped them out. There’s a reason these buildings are connected— work stays at work.” Tilting my head down, my question must’ve blazed from my eyes, and Carlyle’s brows knit tightly. “Unless someone decided they were too good for the rules. It’s not like I have a guard or something personally check everyone going through the bridge.”
“You should conduct a raid, or tr
ick some stupid assholes into think it’d be a good idea.” Sucking on the butt of my cigarette, I shrugged at Carlyle’s quizzical expression. “When I was homeless, the police would raid the shelters every couple months for people hiding out there after committing crimes. I’ve been arrested a few times because of it because of Sylvie back when she would steal for drug money. Back then, they’d wait until the shelters all filled up, and then they’d hit them at the same time.”
“I find it hard to believe that the police had that much manpower.” Skepticism and intrigue infected his tone, and I shrugged as I exhaled my lungful through my nose.
“Two cops show up at the shelter, and any homeless person knows they got nothing to do with it, we stay down. Normal people see the cops, assume they already know what they did, and try to bolt.” Carlyle grunted in acknowledgment of my point, and I sniffed hard as I stared at the white line on the concrete. “If you don’t know how, then you just have to find out. And not be suspicious about it.”
“Right . . . and how do you suggest that, Illya?”
“Fake a raid.” Carlyle barked a shocked laugh, but I was deadly serious, and my lips thinned around my smoke. “I’m serious. You obviously have access to the people that can pull it off. The issue isn’t even the believability of the raid after it started— it’s getting everyone together without arousing suspicion that something’s wrong. Obviously, you don’t want to put your people through that if the dude doesn’t even show up. That’d be an answer in itself, though, I guess.”
“I’ll consider it. Before we resort to such a drastic measure, I want you to listen to all the conversations I’ve been having and the threats I’ve been receiving. I’ve had them sent to your apartment.” Nodding listlessly, I rested my chin on my knees as my mind wandered and became far, and the line began to blur on the asphalt. “Illya, are you sure you’re alright?”
“Do you ever feel really far away from someone even though they’re right next to you?” My gaze flickered up, and Carlyle’s expression tightened and walled up like the brick stretching sixty feet above us on all sides. Taking a drag of his own cigarette, he held his breath for a long second, and I tilted my head to rest my cheek on my knees. “I don’t know what it is. I can’t figure out what about me is so . . . so small and I don’t get why this is happening. We had a fight this morning about sex. I don’t even want to have sex with him, really. I just want to be close to him, but he keeps pushing me away.”
“Is it about your chest?” His voice was surprisingly soft and tender, and I nodded as much as I could at that angle before he sighed heavily. “You can’t hide behind those bandages forever, Illya. I don’t blame Theo for wanting you to take them off, but you can’t really be upset because he’s mad you won’t. If you can’t have all of a person, there’s no point in having any part of them. Despite what people try to say . . . ”
“Why did you give me these two months off?” My question must’ve been what he expected this time, and Carlyle crouched down in front of me. His cigarette hung out of his mouth, and he looked really, really . . . kindhearted. Plopping his palm on my head, he snatched his smoke with his free hand before offering me the tiniest, brokenhearted smile I never thought I’d see on him.
“You remind me a lot of my sister right before she killed herself. Lost, listless, unable to do anything because you’re so out of touch with yourself. It’s not the same, I know. She was lost because our dad raised her to not be anything, not care about anything, not do anything for herself. The opposite is just as true, Illya. You care too much, you are too much, you do too much.” My eyes widened as surprise rocketed through me, and Carlyle chuffed softly before standing up and fixing the crack in his demeanor. His expression closed like an iron shutter, and I stood on stiff legs before he spoke up again. “Fix whatever is going on between you two. I need all your focus on this, and I need the man guarding my body not to be distracted. If you need more incentive than your own . . . I’ll kill you, Illya, because I won’t tolerate drama interfering with the job.”
A dense lump formed in my throat, and I nodded before Carlyle flicked his cigarette before opening the door for me.
37
Illya
Anxiety curdled my blood into a thick sludge at the knock that sounded through my apartment, and I winced when I stood up and my shirt brushed against my scars. It’d been so long since I’d walked around without bandages, and my hands curled into tight fists by my sides. Shuffling heavily to the hallway, I paused in front of the door, and I could practically smell Theo from the other side.
I wondered what Carlyle threatened him with— if he threatened Theo at all— and what it meant if he didn’t. Was I really just being a self-conscious bitch? For reasons I couldn’t properly mouth, I went back and forth, but Theo was always saying the same things.
Take off my bandages.
Grabbing the knob, the cold metal burned my palm, and I inhaled mightily through my nose before pulling open the barrier. Theo propped on the frame, his arm over his head, and he gazed down at me through intense, narrowed eyes. Goosebumps washed down my arms, and a cold sweat broke out on my back as the silence stretched.
“I came to apologize for grabbing you.” Now that I’d had a moment to think, I realized maybe Theo wasn’t upset about my going so fast as he was trying to seem. Maybe, he was mad about something else.
So many ‘maybes’ and not many concrete answers when I could just ask him.
“You were right— I don’t trust you even though I should.” My mouth dried at my own confession, and I leaned on the wall to duck my head. “It was easy back before because I could disappear if things went south. I could run away if I got scared.”
“You were right, too, you know.” The gruff reply sent a spasm down my chest, and I glanced up from under my lashes as Theo frowned grimly. “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the second I saw you, Illya. Just because I found out you’re so much more— and I want it all— doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to go back on my word.”
“Do you wanna come in?” He nodded curtly, and I lowered my arm from the door to gesture Theo through. My heart thundered harder and harder when he kicked the barrier shut, and powerful arms braced on either side of my head. The wall seemed so cold against my back compared to his heat, and his eyes didn’t leave mine for a fraction of a second. Unfurling my stiff fingers, I touched my trembling palms to his sharply defined abdomen under his t-shirt, and he clenched and released his jaw with a muted click.
“I’ve tried so hard not to fuck this up that I stopped being the person I was before I met you.” The lump in my throat became dense at Theo’s grumble, and I nodded dumbly in agreement. His abdominal muscles strained under his taut, thick skin, and my fingertip traced the fading edges of the scar that ripped up his side. “Let’s start over. Like the past eight weeks didn’t happen— the bad parts, at least.”
“I’d like that.” My murmur rasped through my chapped lips, and Theo’s skin twitched under my palms as his closeness set fire rampaging through my veins. We weren’t touching in any way but my hands against his abs, my fingers running through his happy trail, but I had never felt more infused with him. His dark eyes blazed, and he slowly reached to caress my cheek. Desire skittered down my neck, and I sucked in a sharp breath when he trailed the back of his finger down towards my sternum.
Something, somewhere in the dark, dank recesses of my mind, snapped as Theo’s fingers skirted the burn on my chest. His nose brushed mine, his features becoming skewed from his close he was, and my ribs threatened to concave as he exhaled hotly. My fingers slipped under the waistline of his jeans, and his curled around the high neckline of my tank top.
It happened slowly, too slowly, and I couldn’t breathe with Theo’s lips hovering just a fraction of a centimeter from mine. Reaching down, I pumped his hard, silky smooth cock— once— twice— and prickles raced up my spine when his shoulders shuddered in my peripheral vision. Each vein pulsed under my touch, his hardness unrelent
ing even when I squeezed, and he thrust into my palms with a sputtering breath.
But his eyes never wavered even as he fisted my t-shirt in both his palms and yanked. Heat from his body surged up my chest when the thin fabric gave way, and I managed a shallow gasp before he captured my parted lips in a searing kiss. My eyes boggled from the shock of his tongue dancing against mine, and I pulled my hands from his jeans to unfasten my own. The tinkling of buttons popping and zippers pulling rose in my ears above my racing heart, and his belt clattered loudly when he dropped his pants.
Theo tasted so good, so manly, so musky, and saliva pooled under my tongue as he cupped the back of my head to intensify the kiss. His little grunts reverberated through me, and I palmed his cock as he hooked his right arm under my leg to hoist it up. My core ached fiercely, need throbbing through me as I pumped his cock, and my folds spread as my desperation leaked out of me.
“Illya . . . ”
“Th-Theo . . . ” Swiping the bulbous head of his cock against my entrance, I sputtered a gasp as Theo nibbled my bottom lip. The intensity of the moment swept me away, and he hissed against my chin as hot, harsh pants ripped from my chest. Thrusting his length along my slit, he groaned into my mouth, and the passion behind his kiss tore me apart. Poising his head, I clamped down before he even entered my channel, and he tangled his tongue around mine.
Theo’s thick cock forced all the way in until his balls slapped my ass and his hips dug into my thighs and I saw stars. Stretching my walls as they undulated wildly in euphoria strangely muffled, his cock pulsed noticeably, and his groan clogged my throat. His fist slammed against the wall, his hard chest rippling against mine as he inhaled sharply, and my eyes rolled back in their sockets.
This wasn’t pleasure. There was nothing but white behind my fluttering lids, and I gasped when Theo pulled back. The ridges and veins of his cock caressed my walls, and he sucked the stale air from my lungs. His t-shirt brushed my front ever so gently, but I was drowning in the rapture only intensified by the sting.