by Raven Scott
“Of course, I do. There’s some things we should talk about, Lucy.” Those same questions I asked myself reflected in her eyes, and I reached over to caress her cheek and neck. “We’ve been avoiding it.”
“Yeah. I know.” Ketchup finally managed to drag Marshal off Lucy’s lap, and the chocolate lab tucked his tail between his legs as he desperately clung to hers. Sriracha positioned himself between my knees, and I reached to rub his head as all the questions we never asked floated around us. “It’ll be a little easier once we get some sleep. We still have a long drive to Jackson. I really would invite you to my place, Mateo, but that’s just a lot of anxiety.”
My lips quirked up at the apologetic tone, and I shook my head as I twirled a lock of her hair around my finger. After the past few days, I didn’t fault Lucy. Even without that factoring in, I wouldn’t blame her. The truth was that we were basically strangers and being held captive together didn’t really change that.
24
Lucy
“It smells good. What are you making?” Stumbling into the kitchen as Mikayla stood over the stove, I hid my yawn behind my palm, and she glanced back at me with a smile. Tiredness glued the soles of my feet to the tiled floor, and I sat down heavily in a chair to slump over the table. “Mateo’s coming over in a little bit. He just texted me that he’ll be here in ten or so.”
“Cool, there’s enough for him.” I was exhausted, in my soul, after that disaster of a trip, and relief slithered through my veins when Mikayla didn’t immediately bombard me with questions. Just before one a.m., I dragged my butt through the front door and practically fell into the sofa. At least it’s a good sofa so my back doesn’t hurt. “How’d it go last night?”
“How’d what go?” Twisting to cast me a knowing look, Mikayla wagged her spatula around wordlessly, and I scrunched up my face. “You mean my mom? I got her kicked out of the airport. She screamed in my ear when I ignored her, and I accidentally stepped on Marshal.”
“I texted you saying she wasn’t leaving with the rest of us. That sucks, Lucy.” I only groaned softly at that, and Mikayla turned back to her eggs and bacon to carry on the conversation by herself. “The flight from Honolulu to San Diego wasn’t too bad, I didn’t think. That grouchy, old bag talked a lot of shit, but at least she wasn’t saying that horrible stuff to Seth. The whole flight— how Seth was going to be miserable and she was never going to forgive him and blah blah blah. How she wasn’t going to take him back in when his life falls apart. It’s like, dude, you’re his mom, why are you saying that? He never wanted to be a lawyer, but she saw how much money Marissa made, and he felt so bad about giving you that ring that she picked out.”
“Really? I didn’t know that?” Surprise heightened my voice, and my best friend nodded furiously, her loose bun wiggling all over the place. “I mean, I knew she picked it out, but I didn’t know he felt bad about it.”
“That thing was fucking ugly, Lucy. I’m just sayin’ that trying to control someone else’s life never goes well, so why is she pissed?” I didn’t have an answer, and Mikayla didn’t wait for me to think one up as she flipped the bacon. “Plus, if she wants to blame someone besides herself, why is she blaming her son and not you? I mean, it makes no sense at all. If shit happens, you don’t blame your own kid. It’s always someone else’s fault, right? And after all that crap she said, she really had the audacity to grumble that she should’ve made you break up years ago.”
“What did you say?” I had a great many ideas what Mikayla would’ve said after listening to all that for six hours, and she snorted roughly. The smell of bacon and eggs clung to my nostrils, and it only intensified when she pushed down the bread into the toaster. My mouth watered, and I glanced at the clock on the stovetop briefly; Mateo would be here any minute, and excitement fluttered through my chest.
“I told her that if she kept her big-ass nose out of it, y’all two would’ve broken yourselves up when you were still in high school. That’s what I said, damnit.” She practically growled, my best friend whipped around, and I blinked blearily as her face tinged red. “And you know what she said to me! She said I needed to mind my own business!”
The doorbell rang, saving me from Mikayla’s intensity, and I sluggishly stood up to head out of the kitchen. The sun poured through my front two windows, and I popped open the door to smile at Mateo on the other side. Gesturing him in wordlessly, I glanced down automatically, but no pit bulls replaced his feet.
“Where’s Ketchup and Sriracha?”
“I left them at the hotel. I didn’t want to bring them in after what happened to Marshal last night. How’s he doing?” His consideration warmed my chest, and I nodded firmly as I shut the door behind him.
“He’s better, now. Mikayla’s making breakfast. There’s enough for you, if you want some.” I’d painted my living room a darker blue than the very faded blue it’d been before, and Mateo shook his head before seating himself on the sofa. Anxiety bored in my gut as I sat next to him, and I pulled my hair over my shoulder as expectancy flooded my veins. “So . . . ”
“I was going to call the realtor later about the house across the street. Do you want to come with me to check it out?” The offer surprised me, and I cast Mateo a glance as he sat back to cross his knees under furrowed brows. “I want to know what your opinion of the place is, Lucy. Have you ever been in it before?”
“Um, no. The people who used to live there were nice, though. They just outgrew it, I think. The husband came and helped me fix my gutter once.” Mateo nodded, a thoughtful expression on his face, and he reached to grab my hand- almost like he couldn’t stop himself. My cheeks warmed, and I leaned on his shoulder to soak up his smell and feel. “It’s been on the market for about four months, so it hasn’t been sitting around forever.”
“Yeah, that’s good. I don’t think moving in together is the best idea. We haven’t really talked about where to go from here.” I didn’t really know what to say to that, and Mateo sighed heavily as he wrapped his arm around me. “We should go on a date.”
“Okay. I’ll clear my schedule.” Smirking against my temple, Mateo squeezed me gingerly, and I smiled as he circled his fingertips against my shoulder. “I think . . . considering everything that happened, a date would be really nice.”
“It’ll be a surprise.” I laughed at that, but my heart fluttered all the same with the thrill of going on a date with someone and not dreading it. “I’m probably going to get a car, too, at some point.”
“That’s a good idea. Are you going to get another Jeep?” He half-shrugged, and I didn’t question it further as I trudged on to what we were really supposed to be talking about. “Listen, Mateo, about our relationship, I don’t want to get hung up on technicalities like time. I spent almost eight years with Seth, and they weren’t bad, but I know firsthand that time doesn’t mean anything. I mean, after how we met, and all the crap that’s happened since then, I’m tired of wasting time and energy on other people’s opinions. If nothing else, I learned that other people just ruin relationships. They don’t help in any way.”
“I agree. Wholeheartedly.” Relief shoved the air from my lungs, and I felt a hundred times lighter as Mateo kissed the top of my head and cupped my cheek. “I remember this one time when I was in high school, and my dad took me out of school for a day. You met him— he’s a straight up sociopath, can’t feel anything for anyone at all. Can only feel selfishly. At the time, I was going to this private school and had just broken up with my first girlfriend ever. I was in tenth grade, I think. He knew I was taking it hard— she cheated on me at a party after five months, which I found out about through a video being shared around the school.”
The hairs on my neck bristled as I remembered vividly being hugged and thanked by Mateo’s father, and I pulled my knees up as he paused for a brief second. Rubbing my outer thigh through the clothes I hadn’t bothered to change out of last night, he stared at the carpet as I stretched my legs over his lap.
“He said that my mom would’ve been the love of his life if he could feel it. That he felt like something was missing, fundamentally not there, the moment he laid eyes on her. He told me that he hated himself for a long time because he couldn’t love her even though she knew he was . . . off. If he could have a light in his life, she would’ve been it.” Mateo’s tone dipped sadly, and I held my breath even as he inhaled deeply, his heart pounded harder but steadily against my cheek. “I take really strongly after her. That’s why my dad has such a soft spot for me. At the hospital, my dad told me in his own way that he was proud of me, and that he had a lot of pride in himself because of how I turned out. Despite all the shameful things I did, and how I constantly fucked up. The thing is, though, my dad doesn’t have the capacity to even like me, but he always made me feel like I was his son and I mattered.”
“Mateo . . . ” His palm was warm and dry against my face, and he thumbed my cheekbone absently as my heart ached for him. He exhaled a shuddering breath, and my mouth dried as anticipation seeped through my skin. “I don’t really know where this is going—”
“Your parents’ behavior isn’t a reflection of who you are, Lucy. It’s their reflection of their own lives. It’s got no bearing on us. Your mom treats you that way when she has the capacity to be different, and my dad treats me that way when he can’t . . . not won’t . . . can’t.” My cheek twitched at that, and I inhaled a quick breath as Mateo quieted. The silence was heavy but not drowning, and I contemplated his story as it circled behind my eyes. He was right— my mom made the choice to treat me the way she had. I was her only child, but she deliberately chose to make me miserable for reasons I didn’t particularly care about.
But I didn’t want to know those reasons. I never wanted to be unhappy because of her again.
25
Mateo
“So, the realtor said she’d be here at noon- and it’s noon.” Lucy’s drawl tugged up the corners of my mouth, and she flopped her head back to gaze at me. Gingerly gathering up her hair, running my fingers through the strands, I smiled full on when she puffed out her lips in a pout. “If she’s not here in fifteen minutes, let’s go look through the windows and poke around. I haven’t ever been on that side of the road. There was no reason to be.”
“You’re cute.” Her eyes widened, and she tinged pink to her ears before she lifted her head to hide her face. Chuckling lowly, warmth suffused my torso and swept down my arms, and I massaged her scalp and down to her shoulders. Lucy shuffled a little between my legs, her plump, tight ass rubbing faintly against my crotch, and I bit down on my bottom lip. We sat on the pathway leading straight up from the road, waiting for this realtor, who apparently didn’t know that being fifteen minutes early was polite.
Now that we weren’t in mortal danger or embroiled in catastrophic drama, I’d started to notice how soft Lucy’s skin was- how beautifully it shined with the tan she’d gotten in Hawaii. Her size eight waist and long legs tantalized me, and I dragged my palms down her sides. Our kiss in paradise tingled my lips, and her faint gasp was overly loud in my ears as I caressed her abdomen under her bunched up, dark red camisole.
“You’re beautiful.” Brushing my lips against her neck, I peeked over her shoulder shamelessly as Lucy inhaled a whistle. “I never told you that, did I?”
“You were kinda busy passing out from the pain.” Humming softly at the breathless reply, I pulled Lucy’s long hair out of the way, and she tilted her head to catch my eye. “Are you still in pain? Does your back hurt?”
My brows rose in surprise, and Lucy pursed her lips thinly as my own parted. Slowly shaking my head as my words failed, I clenched my jaw as I sluggishly rolled my shoulders and arched my back. My brain worked hard to figure out when the last time my back hurt. It must’ve been at the beach right before I went back to the hotel.
“I didn’t even notice, but . . . it doesn’t. No, I’m not.” Her eyes were so bright, and I cupped Lucy’s cheek to stroke her cheekbone as my heart throbbed sharply against my ribs. Turning into my palm, her lids fluttered closed, and she sunk into my embrace as I pressed my forehead against her temple.
Our of the corner of my eye, a car slowed as it reached the large house across the street, and our moment had to come to an end. Standing up, Lucy weaved her fingers between mine, and the sweetest smile puffed out her cheeks. I just wanted to kiss her, but it’d have to wait until we had time.
Lots and lots of time.
“Let’s go.” This house was the only one on Lucy’s street, but there were a few in the neighborhood that were listed for sale. We walked across the street hand in hand, and I sincerely hoped I liked the place as I eyed it warily. The exterior was wrapped in beige, the front yard was rather big and partially fenced in along the sidewalk. There was a two-car garage, and the realtor lady had swung into the driveway to idle briefly.
The middle-aged woman that stepped out of the car was clearly in a bit of a tizzy, but she paused when she looked at us for the first time. Her power suit and well-styled hair gave her a sense of business pride, and I let go of Lucy’s hand to stick mine out while she visibly stopped herself from frowning.
“Mateo Turnin. We spoke on the phone.” I could see it all over her face that she thought she was going to end up wasting her time, which, I was going to buy a house. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me on such short notice.”
“It’s no problem. I had a free slot.” She gave me a pathetic handshake, and I nodded while I waited for her to introduce herself. Instead, she sort of huffed a little as she started digging in her purse, and I stepped back to wrap my arm around Lucy’s waist. “So, as it mentioned in the listing, this house has only been on the market for four and a half months. The owners pay for someone to come by once a month and clean. It’s a four-bed, two-point-five-bath, with three rooms on the second floor and the master on the first floor, with an en-suite bathroom.”
Lucy and I shared a quizzical look when this lady shuffled up the walkway that led to the stooped porch, her keys jingling loudly. Shrugging slightly, I kept my mouth shut. She probably didn’t put much stock in younger people looking to buy.
When the realtor opened the front door, she gestured us in behind her with a flick of her wrist, and I loosened my grip on Lucy. The living room was rather large and carpeted, with neutral walls and nothing separating it from the kitchen but the change to tile. A huge, ten-burner range took over a good chunk of the kitchen, and there was an island with a sink, which I appreciated, that added to the ton of counter space.
“Is this your first home together?” The realtor didn’t seem surprised when I nodded, still looking around, and she clasped her hands over her navy skirt to continue talking. “Well, the neighborhood is good- there’s not a lot of crime going on, and it’s very quiet. Thankfully, there’s no HOA to have to contend with, either. There’s a public bus stop on the corner right across the street, and there’s a few little stores right down the road.”
The living room was faced with a wall of glass that led to the backyard, and the realtor gestured us to follow her again. Sharing an irritated look with Lucy at how clearly she was trying to rush, I clenched and released my jaw while the woman opened the sliding glass door to a sizeable deck. The deck had to be at least three hundred fifty square feet, with a wide staircase leading to a yard of impressively green grass.
“This deck is probably the size of my efficiency. Maybe a little bigger.” The realtor turned to me at my declaration, and for a fraction of a second, I felt the absolute contempt she had for me. How dare I have the audacity to look at a house when, obviously, I was too young and poor to afford it! I leveled my stare with her as she hid her feelings behind a polite, professional smile, and she nodded before opening her mouth.
“The previous owners had a rather large family and enjoyed having people over. This is a great house for social gatherings. Let’s go inside and take a look at the bedroom and master bath.” Just because of the yard, I wanted to buy this house— Ketch
up and Sriracha would love this place. Instead, I gestured Lucy back in as she shot me a glance glimmering in impressed approval. “There’s another full bath upstairs and a half bath off the hallway to the garage right next to the laundry room.”
I don’t know why . . . did this woman think we were just wasting her time? Did people book with her and then tell her to her face that they weren’t buying, just wanting to look? Did she have a bad morning? Was her coffee decaf instead of regular or something? She didn’t glance a second time at the master bedroom, didn’t stop even as Lucy and I hung around another set of sliding, wooden doors.
“That’s cool that they’re double sliding doors. We’re gonna have to paint them, probably. They’re not even stained.” Lucy’s murmur drew down my chin, and I glanced over the bedroom; it was just four walls, and the carpet was the color of her dog with cream accents.
“So, the previous owners actually used this as a guest room as they have small children. The bathroom was completely remodeled.” Lucy wandered off toward the door in the corner, and I made my way to the other side of the room to open another. The closet was clearly for a woman that liked shoes and jewelry, judging by all the shelves and slots, and my cheek twitched absently.
I really liked this house.
“Mateo, there’s a spa tub in here. How cool is that?”
“There’s just a shower in the upstairs bathroom. So, would you like to keep looking around, or . . . ” I just hate this realtor. She hasn’t even shown us half the house, yet. I had to resist sucking my teeth at how irritated I was, and I turned to this lady as she watched me with expectant annoyance. “I do have other buyers for this house that are interested, and—”