I take his hand and press his palm against my cheek. “You don’t have to choose. You can have both.”
He frames my face in his hands and tips his forehead against mine, and just this little touch soothes me immediately.
“I’m sorry that you’re lonely.”
The tears slip down my cheeks now.
“I didn’t get married to be alone,” I whisper. “I can’t do it anymore. I’m not just sharing you with the music. I’m sharing you with the band, and all of the fans. You’re not just out on tour, Leo. You’re a guest judge on the Voice, and you’re making guest appearances somewhere every other week.”
“I can back off on a lot of that,” he says. “Sam, you’re so fucking independent. I know you can do your thing without me.”
“Yes, I can, but that doesn’t mean that I want to, or that I don’t need you, Leo. I need a partnership with you. I’m not just your biggest fan, I’m your wife, and I want to have the chance to prove that I’m good at that.”
“You’re excellent.”
“But how do you know? In six years, I’ve only had the chance to be with you for a few months, if we add it all together.”
“I’m sorry.” He crushes me to him, holding me fiercely. “The job is a habit, Sam. It’s been a part of my life for so long, it just is. I wish you’d talked to me about this sooner.”
“I didn’t want you to think that I don’t support you. Because you know I do. But I need you.”
“You always come first, Sunshine. If you don’t want me gone, I won’t be gone.”
“It’s not just about you,” I remind him. “You have a band, and they love the work.”
“Look, we already promised you a year, and we’re going to keep that promise. But I can also promise you this: going forward, we will release an album and tour no more than every other year. We can play it by ear from there.”
“You’d do that?”
Why am I surprised? I know him. I should have known that all I had to do was talk to him.
“Anything.” He pulls me to him again and buries his face in my neck. “I’d do anything for you, Samantha Nash. I love you, every damn day of my life, and that’s never going to change. You want me to give it all up today? Done.”
“No.” I pull away and shake my head emphatically. “I don’t want that. But the every other year thing sounds like a good compromise.”
“I think so, too.” He kisses my nose and I trace the tattoo on his shoulder. “What am I going to do with all of my free time?”
“Gardening? You could learn to cook. Oh! You could probably work at Nic’s bakery.”
His lips are twitching with humor as he lays them gently over my own.
“I might take my own advice and write music for other artists.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“Starla called not long ago, asking if I had any new stuff.”
“Except for her,” I reply, pulling back to glare at him. “No working with women you’ve boned before.”
“Another rule?”
“Hell yes.”
He chuckles and bites my earlobe, sending shivers up and down my back.
“Okay, I can live with that rule.”
“But I like the idea of you writing music. You could even produce some if you wanted.”
His eyebrows rise in thought. “That’s not a bad idea. There are studios in Seattle, and I could even work out of the house a bit.”
“See? You’ll fill your time with plenty.”
“I’ll be able to make love to you more often.”
I bite my lip and groan when he cups my ass and presses against me.
“Yes, that’s one hell of a perk.”
“Sunshine?”
“Hmm?”
“Every damn day.”
“I love you too. Every day.”
A Rockstar Reunion Menu
Smoked Chicken Salad
1 Smoked Chicken
2 cups mayonnaise
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1/2 cup sweet pickle relish
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup dried cranberries
1/4 cup chopped pecans
Remove the bone and skin from the chicken. Place the chicken in a food processor and pulse 2-3 times to break apart large pieces. Add the mayonnaise, Dijon mustard, sweet pickle relish, salt and pepper and pulse again. Transfer the chicken salad to a large bowl and fold in dried cranberries and pecans.
Smoked Chicken
1 whole (5-6 pound) chicken, cut in half
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons Montreal steak seasoning
Vinegar BBQ Sauce (Click here for recipe)
4 cups hickory wood chips
Gently rub both sides of chicken with butter, including under the skin (best part). Season both sides with Montreal seasoning. Prepare a smoker to smoke at 275 degrees. While the smoker is heating, place the hickory chips in a bowl of water for at least 15 minutes. Once the smoker has reached 275 degrees, add the wood chips and place the chicken on a rack, skin side up. Cover and smoke. The chicken will take approximately 2 hours to reach an internal temperature of 165 degrees. While the chicken is smoking, baste with a generous amount of the vinegar based sauce every 30 minutes (4 times total). Remove the chicken from the smoker and allow to rest for at least 10 minutes before serving.
Quick tip: Vinegar is a natural meat tenderizer. If you do not have the ingredients to make the vinegar-based sauce, simply add 1/4 cup white vinegar to 2 cups of your favorite BBQ sauce and stir to combine.
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Mushroom Swiss Burgers with Garlic Aioli
Garlic Aioli
1 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
3 tablespoons lemon juice
Burgers
1 pound ground beef
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon paprika
1 tablespoon Worstershire sauce
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup baby bella mushrooms, thinly sliced
4 slices Swiss cheese
4 hamburger buns
In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, garlic, salt, pepper and lemon juice. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes. In a large bowl, combine the ground beef, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika and Worstershire sauce. Form into 4 (1/4 pound) burger patties. Heat butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Place mushrooms in pan and sauté for 3-5 minutes or until they are tender. Remove from heat and set aside until ready to build the burgers. Using a gas grill over high heat, grill the burgers for 3 minutes, then flip and grill for an additional 4-5 minutes or until desired doneness. Place one slice of Swiss cheese on each burger during the last minute of cooking. Remove burgers from the grill. Spread a generous amount of Garlic Aioli on each side of the sesame seed buns. Place the burgers on top of the buns and top with sautéed mushrooms.
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Chicken Bacon Ranch Kabobs
2 tablespoons ranch seasoning
2 cups sour cream
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch pieces
8 slices bacon, cut in 1/3 pieces
1 red onion, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces
Salt and pepper to taste
6 wooden skewers, soaked in water
In a large bowl, combine ranch seasoning, sour cream and lemon juice. In a large resealable bag, add chicken and half of the ranch marinade. Allow to marinate for 30 minutes. To assemble the kabobs, wrap a slice of bacon around one piece of chicken. Place on the skewer and add one piece of onion and one piece of bell pepper. Continue threading on skewer 3 more ti
mes ending with bell pepper. Repeat on the remaining skewers. Baste with half of the remaining marinade. Preheat grill to medium-high heat. Lightly oil the grill grates. Place kabobs on grill and cook for 2 minutes, then turn. Repeat this 5-6 more times until the chicken is cooked through and the vegetables are tender. Serve with remaining ranch marinade.
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Grilled Corn 3 ways
8-12 ears of corn in the husk
Mexican Street (Click here for recipe)
Cajun (Click here for recipe)
Pesto and Parmesan (Click here for recipe)
Peel back the husk and remove the silk from each piece of corn, then fold the husk back around the corn. Place the corn in a large pot filled with water and soak for 15 minutes. Remove from water and place on grill over medium heat. Grill for 20-25 minutes, turning halfway through. Remove from grill and peel back the husks. Return corn to grill and cook for an additional 1-2 minutes on each side to add grill marks. Top with any of the 3 toppings below.
Mexican Street
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tablespoon chili powder
3 tablespoons lime juice
1 cup crumbled Cotija cheese
Combine mayonnaise, sour cream, chili powder and lime juice in a small bowl. Spread evenly over corn and top with cheese.
Cajun
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, softened
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon dried thyme
Combine all ingredients and spread evenly over corn.
Pesto and Parmesan
1 cup basil pesto
cup freshly grated Parmesan
Spread pesto evenly over corn and top with grated Parmesan.
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Fried Chicken and Potato Salad
2 gallons peanut oil
2 tablespoons paprika
1 whole (5-6 pound) chicken
2 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon pepper
2 tablespoons onion powder
1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
In a large stock pot or turkey fryer, heat oil to 365 degrees. Rinse chicken and thoroughly pat dry with paper towels. Combine all seasonings and rub all over the chicken, inside and out. Place chicken in a drain basket or attach to a drop hook. Slowly lower the chicken into the oil. The temperature will drop immediately. Maintain the temperature at 350 degrees for the entire fry time, which is 4 minutes per pound. Remove chicken from oil and drain on paper towels. The internal temperature should be 165 degrees. Allow to rest for 10- 15 minutes before slicing.
Potato Salad
5 russet potatoes, peeled
3 hard boiled eggs, chopped
11/2 cups mayonnaise
1 tablespoon paprika
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup sweet pickle relish
1 teaspoon pepper
In a large pot, add potatoes and fill with water until potatoes are covered. Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and cook for an additional 25-30 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Drain and allow to cool enough to handle. Cut potatoes into 1-inch cubes and place in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine remaining ingredients and add to potatoes. Toss gently to coat and serve with additional paprika on top.
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BBQ Ribs with Bacon and Brown Sugar Baked Beans
1 (2-3 pound) slab baby back ribs
For the rub:
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Using a sharp knife, remove silver skin from ribs along the rack. Rinse ribs and thoroughly pat dry. Combine the ingredients for the rub and cover the ribs entirely, being liberal with coverage. Allow to set for 10-15 minutes at room temperature. Heat one side of grill to medium-high heat. Place ribs on opposite side so that the ribs cook over indirect heat. Baste ribs every 10 minutes with Vinegar BBQ Sauce for a total cooking time of 45-55 minutes. Remove ribs from heat and double wrap in aluminum foil. Return to grill on low heat and cook for an additional 20-25 minutes. Remove from grill and allow to rest for 10 minutes before slicing.
Vinegar BBQ Sauce
2 cups white vinegar
1/2 cup ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon onion powder
In a small pot over low heat, combine all ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat, allow to cool and transfer to a Mason jar. Store for up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator. Shake well before each use.
Bacon and Brown Sugar Baked Beans
6 (15.5 ounce) cans pork and beans
8 thick slices bacon, diced
1/2 cup green onion, chopped
11/2 cups Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce
3/4 cup dark brown sugar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl and pour into a 9 x 13-inch baking dish. Bake for 90 minutes.
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Deviled Eggs 3 ways
Classic Southern
6 hard-boiled eggs
2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
1/2 cup mayonnaise
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
Sliced green olives
2 tablespoons Durkee Famous Sauce
Paprika
Slice eggs in half and remove yolks. Place yolks in a bowl and smash with a fork until most lumps are removed. Add mayonnaise, mustard, Durkee Famous Sauce, relish, salt and pepper. Mix well and add to egg whites until cups are full. Place one green olive on each egg’s filling and sprinkle with paprika. Serve on your favorite deviled egg tray.
Pimento Cheese
1 (4 ounce) jar pimentos, not drained
8 ounces shredded sharp cheddar (yellow)
8 ounces shredded sharp cheddar (white)
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup mayonnaise
6 hard-boiled eggs
Mix all filling ingredients and refrigerate for at least an hour. Slice eggs in half and remove yolks. Place yolks in a resealable bag and refrigerate for another use. Fill each egg white half with pimento cheese and serve.
Chicken Salad
1 rotisserie chicken, shredded
1 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1/4 cup sweet pickle relish
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons chopped pecans
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
6 hard-boiled eggs
Mix all filling ingredients together in large bowl except 2 tablespoons chopped pecans. Slice eggs in half and remove yolks. Place yolks in a resealable bag and refrigerate for another use. Fill each egg white half full of chicken salad and top with pecans.
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Lemon Meringue Pie
1 refrigerated pie crust
3 egg yolks
11/2 cups sugar
1/3 cup cornstarch
11/2 cups water
3 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup lemon juice
3 egg whites
6 tablespoons sugar
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Unroll pie crust and press firmly against bottom and side of 9-inch pie plate.
Trim overhanging crust from rim of pie plate. Prick bottom and side of pastry thoroughly with fork. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until light brown; cool on cooling rack. In small bowl, beat egg yolks with fork.
In a medium saucepan, mix 11/3cups sugar and cornstarch, then gradually stir in water. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and boils. Boil, stirring constantly for 1 minute. Then, stir half of hot mixture into egg yolks to temper the eggs, then pour back into hot mixture in saucepan. Boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes; remove from heat. Stir in butter and lemon juice. Pour mixture into pie crust.
In a medium bowl, beat egg whites with an electric mixer on high speed until foamy. Beat in sugar 1 tablespoon at a time until stiff and glossy. Mix in vanilla last. Spoon onto hot pie filling and spread, sealing meringue to edge of crust to prevent shrinking. Bake 8 to 12 minutes or until meringue is light brown. Cool for an hour before serving.
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S’mores Trifle
For the brownie layer:
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted
Indulge With Me (With Me In Seattle Book 10) Page 7